Chaotic Sobriety: Another Quick Sip!

Jude: From Addiction to Empowerment

On Rock Bottom with Ryan, guest Jude Hunkar—originally from Hungary and now in the UK—shares how early drinking at boarding school became tied to belonging, escalated into drugs, and progressed into years of increasingly frequent partying and functional but hidden alcohol use, worsened during COVID, while raising two children. She describes wake-up calls, including her child writing that her mom “drinks wine,” and the inability to keep promises not to drink. Jude celebrates stopping drinking on July 11 after a long process, crediting Rapid Transformational Therapy training, an RTT session, and Allen Carr’s book, and explains coping tools, honesty about cravings, and “riding the wave.” She outlines her RTT-based program combining hypnosis, CBT, NLP, neuroscience, coaching, and aftercare to address root causes, and emphasizes relapse as learning, not failure.

Carolina: A Happier Life

In this episode of Rock Bottom with Ryan, Carolina shares her recovery story: a first-generation American Latina with a sober date of 2/18/2021 whose substance use began around ages 10–12 and escalated from alcohol and marijuana to cocaine, crack, heroin, PCP, acid, and ultimately methamphetamine. She recounts childhood physical and sexual abuse, running away, homelessness, gang-associated environments, domestic violence, arrests, trafficking drugs, and cycling in and out of prison, where she was introduced to meth and experienced psychosis. She describes profound losses, including her 15-month-old daughter Krystal’s death after Carolina blacked out and left her in a car, resulting in incarceration. Her turning point came after seeing her son’s eyes during family violence; detox, outpatient care, recovery coaching, and peer support helped her avoid a 5150 and rebuild. She founded The Happier Life Project in Riverside County to provide inclusive, harm-reduction-oriented recovery support, emphasizing meeting people where they are, family support, and multiple pathways to recovery.

Addicted: Sadie's Comeback Story

In this episode of Rock Bottom with Ryan, Sadie shares her recovery story: clean since November 21, 2019, originally from Georgia and now in North Carolina, with amphetamines as her drug of choice. She describes a chaotic childhood with an addicted father, emotional disconnection at home, bullying that damaged her self-esteem, and lifelong masking through invented identities. After moving to Fayetteville, she began using cocaine at 18 and quickly spiraled into 14 years of addiction, isolation, and destructive behavior. Sadie explains how prescription Adderall became her downfall, escalating to 500–700 mg a day, triggering severe psychosis, hallucinations, and total impairment. She was taken to detox, entered treatment and transitional housing, embraced NA, rebuilt relationships with her children, and now centers her life on meetings, service work, sponsorship, and daily recovery.00:00 Trauma and bravado00:53 Show intro and sponsor02:29 Meet Sadie and sobriety03:27 Family and early childhood05:55 Dad relationship and forgiveness09:29 Bullying and self esteem12:43 Reinvention in high school18:22 First high and instant hook21:29 Spiraling and isolation27:58 Adderall takes over33:51 Psychosis and hallucinations35:07 Meth Hallucinations Begin35:42 Weeks Without Sleep36:25 Tweaking And Shadow People39:06 DIY Chaos In Suburbs40:51 Detox And Lady Gaga Delusion42:32 Treatment Phases And Sober Housing43:24 Acceptance And Fellowship47:07 Rebuilding Life And Family49:55 Daily NA Routine And Sponsoring54:43 Service Work And Purpose57:42 Goals Peace And Parenting01:02:07 Advice Quotes And Farewell

Matthew: The Sober Life

Ryan interviews Matthew, a UK-based psychotherapist and co-founder of Sober Life, about his progression from drinking and early substance use at 13–14 to alcohol dependence by 16 and eventually smoking and injecting cocaine by 24. Matthew describes childhood family dysfunction, severe withdrawals including seizures and hallucinations, arrests, hospitalizations, and daily use that included 10–12 liters of strong cider and heavy cocaine spending. He explains how entering a 12-step treatment center and committing to meetings and human connection supported his long detox and early recovery, leading to 12 years sober since January 19, 2014. They discuss shame-free, client-centered approaches, neuroscience and dopamine-driven cravings, practical relapse-prevention strategies, rebuilding identity, progress over perfection, and bringing recovery tools into corporate settings where substance use is common.

Chaotic Sobriety: Another Quick Sip!

Ryan and Rachel discuss how chaos can persist in sobriety through overbooking, restlessness, and chasing dopamine, and how peace and stability can feel uncomfortable after years of addiction-driven turmoil. They reflect on self-induced chaos during drinking, the difficulty of sitting still, and how boredom and isolation can trigger overthinking and worst-case scenarios. Ryan shares frustration after injuring his back while trying to stay busy, and Rachel talks about finding a meaningful friendship and starting a new YouTube project, “Two Girls in a Chair,” as well as using quiet moments with her pets to calm her mind. Rachel also describes a recent emotional trigger involving her dad’s health and how she grounded herself by recognizing her stable life today. They advise listeners to ride out discomfort, practice calm, and trust that chaos will pass.00:00 Friendship Beyond Memes00:37 Injury Forces Stillness01:17 Show Intro and Sponsor02:54 Chaos After Getting Sober04:04 Self Induced Busy Mode06:31 Back Injury and New Plans08:06 Two Girls in a Chair10:15 Finding Real Friendships13:17 Pets and Learning to Chill15:51 Peace Feels Uncomfortable16:46 Overthinking and Meetings18:25 Gym Frustrations and Limits19:42 Isolation Spiral21:04 Healthy Alone Time21:48 Boredom In Sobriety24:54 ADHD And Restlessness26:17 Learning Stability27:16 Dad Stress And Grounding31:25 Excuses And Showing Up33:36 Ride It Out Advice35:55 Closing Encouragement