Seeing Death Clearly
Send us Fan Mail [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2092749/fan_mail/new] Death doula and funeral celebrant Jill McClennen speaks with Matt Fogelson about growing up in 1980s Manhattan, then losing his workaholic father to lung cancer when Matt was 19 and his father was 46. Matt describes carrying unspoken grief for decades, using pain to stay connected, and how family silence around dying robbed them of meaningful end-of-life conversations. He shares how music and playing guitar became a private outlet for depression and rage, and later a bridge to his own son, helping him heal and avoid repeating emotional absence. The conversation also explores conscious living, legacy, and end-of-life planning, including the regret of devoting life to work over relationships. Matt discusses his Substack “Fine Tuning,” leaving law, and his memoir, “Fatherhood in a Different Key.” 00:00 Facing Mortality 00:16 Meet the Host and Guest 01:19 Growing Up 80s Manhattan 03:05 Life After New York 04:09 His Father’s Diagnosis 06:43 Decades of Hidden Grief 11:29 Music as a Lifeline 13:31 Denial and No Goodbye 14:57 Why We Avoid Death Talk 19:47 Childhood Grief and First Funeral 22:46 Shiva and Grief Advice 24:12 Music as Emotional Outlet 26:06 Soundgarden and Screaming 28:40 Safe Ways to Let It Out 31:07 From Lawyer to Memoirist 33:30 Cats in the Cradle Reflections 35:44 Writing in the Basement 37:03 Quitting Law and Launching 37:51 Regrets of the Dying 39:39 Family Cycles and Workaholism 43:41 Where to Find Matt 44:34 End-of-Life Planning CTA https://www.mattfogelson.com/ [https://www.mattfogelson.com/] https://mattfogelson.substack.com/ [https://mattfogelson.substack.com/] Restrung Fatherhood in a Different Key [https://bookshop.org/p/books/restrung-fatherhood-in-a-different-key-matt-fogelson/6311ad1d1a761dc1?ean=9781684633425&next=t] Support the show [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2092749/support] Support the show financially by doing a paid monthly subscription. https://www.buzzsprout.com/2092749/support [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2092749/support] Subscribe to Seeing Death Clearly and leave a 5-star review if you are enjoying the podcast. Don’t forget to check out my free workbook Living a Better Life [https://bit.ly/betterlifeworkbook%20]. jill@endoflifeclarity.com https://www.endoflifeclarity.com/end-of-life-planning [https://www.endoflifeclarity.com/end-of-life-planning] to learn more about End of Life Care planning and schedule a free 30-minute call. www.endoflifeclarity.com [https://www.endoflifeclarity.com] Instagram [http://www.instagram.com/endoflifeclarity] Facebook [https://m.facebook.com/endoflifeclarity] Facebook group End of Life Clarity Circle [https://www.facebook.com/groups/endoflifeclaritycircle/] LinkedIn [https://www.linkedin.com/in/jillmcclennen] TikTok [https://www.tiktok.com/@endoflifeclarity]
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