19. Let go or get dragged (Sumas retreat)

23. DSRs and temper tantrums

J&P get into whether staying busy actually helps recovery, why DSRs can feel both useful and completely maddening, and what it means to tell on yourself before your ego gets too comfortable. They also talk forgiveness as a choice, resentment as poison, and Jonathan’s very real temper tantrum over a nursery footstool. Plus: cinematic addicts, Taco Bell burrito trauma, The Power of Now, and the deeply spiritual struggle of not saying the closing catchphrase.

22. Can exposure therapy help?

Pasha comes back from a work conference tired, rattled, and with one painfully awkward problem: what do you say when a coworker asks for your secret podcast? He and Jonathan get into conferences as a minefield, the weird buildup from a thousand little looks, and why bookending might be the most practical tool they’ve found for staying sane in the wild. Also: the guy who read "lusted perverts," one very reluctant meeting chair, and a Russian Serenity Prayer to close it out.

21. Predators, monsters and perverts

Jonathan and Pasha recap the Sumas retreat, from the very specific chaos of trying to save a variety show with almost no acts to Jonathan leaving early to get home to his wife and screaming baby. They get into recruiting people off the trail, Pasha's red-bandana intimidation strategy, and why Mike K and Thomas completely stole the show with their fake phone-coordinator bit. They also talk about the weird freedom of being around people who already know your worst stuff, what happens when guys keep relapsing, and why hearing "go to God" can still be maddening when you want actual instructions.

20. Free to be me (Sumas retreat)

Kent joins Pasha and Jonathan at the Sumas retreat to talk about being openly gay in SA, why he tells guys to get sober first and sort out the rest later, and how recovery changed the way he sees his wife and their marriage. They get into early-recovery anger, saying the Serenity Prayer in Home Depot, what it was like for Kent to walk into a room full of men, and the tension around who feels welcome in the fellowship. Kent also shares some great stories about working with David Maynard, including the simple rule that told you whether he was really your sponsor: call every day.

19. Let go or get dragged (Sumas retreat)

Mike joins Pasha and Jonathan to talk about letting go, praying for willingness, and what he tells guys who keep relapsing or call in full-blown panic. They get into old-timer relapse stories, why fear can keep you sober for a while and then stop working, Mike's line that some guys just aren't done yet, and the strange peace that came when God lifted his obsession with Jerry and even his fear of going bankrupt. There's also a perfect Mike story about a smashed phone, Walmart, and a deal that felt way too on the nose to be random, plus a few pot shots at Pasha and one very honest take on why business meetings would be more joyful without the business.