What Schools Won’t Tell You About ESY, 1:1 Support, and IEP Decisions

How to Disagree in IEP Meetings Without Feeling Intimidated ft. Marielle Mathews | Ep 32

Have you ever walked out of an IEP meeting feeling overwhelmed, confused, or like decisions were already made without you? That feeling is more common than you think, and it does not mean you have to accept it. In Episode 32 of Starting with IEP, host Flor de Amelia continues her conversation with Dr. Marielle Mathews to break down what parents need to know when they disagree with the school. This episode goes deeper into your rights, what to do when something doesn’t feel right, and how to advocate for your child without feeling intimidated or shut down. You will learn how to request an Independent Educational Evaluation (IEE) at no cost, recognize red flags during IEP meetings, and confidently speak up even when the room feels overwhelming. This conversation also highlights the emotional side of advocacy, from feeling outnumbered to navigating difficult conversations with clarity and confidence. ✨ In this episode, you’ll learn: • How to disagree in an IEP meeting respectfully and effectively • What an Independent Educational Evaluation (IEE) is and how to request it • The biggest red flags to watch for during IEP meetings • Why nothing is final until you give consent • How to ask for breaks, clarification, or follow-up meetings • What to do if decisions feel predetermined • How language barriers and bias can impact communication • Practical ways to advocate with confidence Whether you are new to the IEP process or have been navigating it for years, this episode will help you feel more prepared, more informed, and more confident walking into your next meeting. You are not just part of the team. You are your child’s strongest advocate, and your voice matters. 🎧 Press play when you’re ready. Let’s learn this together. Episode 32 is now streaming on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and YouTube. YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@FlorDeAmelia [https://www.youtube.com/@FlorDeAmelia] Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/1TC4pMJxQrwcyStNfnc9Rd?si=b77353d4aea34a3d [https://open.spotify.com/show/1TC4pMJxQrwcyStNfnc9Rd?si=b77353d4aea34a3d] Apple Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/starting-with-iep/id1828187191 [https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/starting-with-iep/id1828187191] Amazon Music: https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/3a1b111a-750f-4c5e-a3c5-38c55ee4e2d4/starting-with-iep [https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/3a1b111a-750f-4c5e-a3c5-38c55ee4e2d4/starting-with-iep] ✨ Connect with Dr. Marielle Mathews and explore her knowledge: Website: https://www.delcopsychservices.com/ [https://www.delcopsychservices.com/] LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/marielle-mathews-psyd-ncsp-27ba7477/ [https://www.linkedin.com/in/marielle-mathews-psyd-ncsp-27ba7477/] Instagram: @delcopsychservices [https://www.instagram.com/delcopsychservices?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet&igsh=ZDNlZDc0MzIxNw==] https://www.instagram.com/delcopsychservices [https://www.instagram.com/delcopsychservices?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet&igsh=ZDNlZDc0MzIxNw==] Facebook: Marielle Mathews [https://www.facebook.com/marielle.mathews.psyd?locale=es_LA] https://www.facebook.com/marielle.mathews.psyd [https://www.facebook.com/marielle.mathews.psyd?locale=es_LA] 💡 Don’t forget to grab your 𝗙𝗥𝗘𝗘 𝗜𝗘𝗣 𝗣𝗿𝗲𝗽 𝗣𝗮𝗰𝗸. Comment IEP PROCESS below. 👉 Parents, has a teacher or school shown you compassion during the IEP journey? Share your experience with us! Let’s Connect! Turn IEP stress into confidence. I share useful resources every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday across all my social media platforms. Podcast Website: http://www.startingwithiep.com/http://www.startingwithiep.com/ [http://www.startingwithiep.com/] Website: https://www.flordeamelia.comhttps://www.flordeamelia.com [https://www.flordeamelia.com] For content collaborations, email: flor@flordeamelia.com [flor@flordeamelia.com] #IEP #SpecialEducation #ParentAdvocacy #IEPHelp #SpecialNeedsParent #IEPMeeting #ParentRights #SpecialEducationSupport #IEPTips #AutismSupport #InclusiveEducation #DisabilityAdvocacy #SchoolSupport #ParentEmpowerment #EducationSupport

IEP Meetings: When to Say Yes, When to Say No, and What Schools Won’t Tell You- Marielle Mathews (Ep. 31)

Have you ever sat in an IEP meeting feeling confused, overwhelmed, or unsure if you can speak up? You are not alone, and more importantly, you are not powerless. In this episode 31 of Starting with IEP, Flor de Amelia is joined by Dr. Marielle Mathews to break down one of the most misunderstood parts of the IEP process: procedural safeguards and your rights as a parent. Together, they unpack what schools don’t always explain clearly, including when you can say yes, when you can say no, and how to confidently advocate for your child. You’ll learn how to navigate evaluations, understand consent, and use your rights in a practical way, not just know they exist. This conversation also sheds light on why some parents hesitate to pursue services, how stigma and fear can impact decisions, and how your voice plays a critical role in shaping your child’s support. By the end of this episode, you will: * Understand what procedural safeguards are and why they matter * Know when you can say yes or no to evaluations and services * Feel more confident participating in IEP meetings * Learn how to review and use your child’s educational records * Recognize how your input directly shapes your child’s IEP This episode is a must-listen for any parent navigating special education, IEP meetings, or child evaluations. You are not just included at the table, you are essential. If this episode helped you, share it with another parent who needs support. For more tools, resources, and step-by-step guidance, visit http://www.startingwithiep.comwww.startingwithiep.com [http://www.startingwithiep.com]. 🎧 Press play when you’re ready. Let’s learn this together. Episode 31 is now streaming on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and YouTube. YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@FlorDeAmelia [https://www.youtube.com/@FlorDeAmelia] Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/1TC4pMJxQrwcyStNfnc9Rd?si=b77353d4aea34a3d [https://open.spotify.com/show/1TC4pMJxQrwcyStNfnc9Rd?si=b77353d4aea34a3d] Apple Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/starting-with-iep/id1828187191 [https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/starting-with-iep/id1828187191] Amazon Music: https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/3a1b111a-750f-4c5e-a3c5-38c55ee4e2d4/starting-with-iep [https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/3a1b111a-750f-4c5e-a3c5-38c55ee4e2d4/starting-with-iep] ✨ Connect with Dr. Marielle Mathews and explore her knowledge: Website: https://www.delcopsychservices.com/ [https://www.delcopsychservices.com/] LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/marielle-mathews-psyd-ncsp-27ba7477/ [https://www.linkedin.com/in/marielle-mathews-psyd-ncsp-27ba7477/] Instagram: @delcopsychservices [https://www.instagram.com/delcopsychservices?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet&igsh=ZDNlZDc0MzIxNw==] https://www.instagram.com/delcopsychservices?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet&igsh=ZDNlZDc0MzIxNw== [https://www.instagram.com/delcopsychservices?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet&igsh=ZDNlZDc0MzIxNw==] Facebook: Marielle Mathews [https://www.facebook.com/marielle.mathews.psyd?locale=es_LA] https://www.facebook.com/marielle.mathews.psyd?locale=es_LA [https://www.facebook.com/marielle.mathews.psyd?locale=es_LA] 💡 Don’t forget to grab your 𝗙𝗥𝗘𝗘 𝗜𝗘𝗣 𝗣𝗿𝗲𝗽 𝗣𝗮𝗰𝗸. Comment IEP PROCESS below. 👉 Parents, has a teacher or school shown you compassion during the IEP journey? Share your experience with us! Let’s Connect! Turn IEP stress into confidence. I share useful resources every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday across all my social media platforms. Podcast Website: http://www.startingwithiep.com/http://www.startingwithiep.com/ [http://www.startingwithiep.com/] Website: https://www.flordeamelia.comhttps://www.flordeamelia.com [https://www.flordeamelia.com] For content collaborations, email: flor@flordeamelia.com [flor@flordeamelia.com] #IEPHelp #SpecialEducationSupport #ParentAdvocacy #IEPMeeting #SpecialNeedsParent #IEPTips #ParentRights #EducationSupport #AutismSupport #LearningDisabilities #IEPGoals #ParentEmpowerment #SchoolSupport #IEPProcess #SpecialEducation

What Schools Won’t Tell You About ESY, 1:1 Support, and IEP Decisions

ESY services and one-to-one support are some of the most misunderstood parts of the IEP process. Many families are told their child “needs” these services, only to realize that decisions are not always clearly explained or grounded in meaningful data. When this happens, services can become routine instead of purposeful, and may not truly support the child’s growth. This conversation is for parents who have been encouraged to accept ESY without understanding why, questioned whether a one-to-one aide is truly helping or creating dependence, or felt unsure if school recommendations align with their child’s real-life needs. We unpack common misconceptions, including the belief that ESY will “catch students up,” and discuss how services should focus on preventing regression, supporting independence, and aligning with family priorities . 🌱 In this episode, we explore: ✨ How ESY eligibility should be determined using data, not assumptions or routine decisions ✨ The difference between skill regression vs. true need for extended services ✨ Why ESY is not meant to “fix” a disability or accelerate progress overnight ✨ How family priorities and real-life experiences (like inclusion programs or family time) should be part of decision-making ✨ When a one-to-one aide is genuinely warranted and what data should support it ✨ How one-to-one support can be misused, leading to over-prompting and dependence ✨ Why trying multiple strategies first matters before jumping to more restrictive supports ✨ The importance of classroom observations to ensure services are actually implemented correctly ✨ How schools and families can work as true partners by offering options, not just one solution ✨ Why the most effective decisions always come back to one question: what is truly in the best interest of the child If you’ve ever been unsure whether ESY is truly necessary, questioned if a one-to-one aide is helping or creating dependence, or felt like decisions were made without fully considering your child’s needs, this episode offers clarity and practical insight. Understanding how these supports should be determined, through data, collaboration, and real-life priorities can help families advocate more confidently while encouraging schools to make decisions that genuinely serve the student. 🎧 Press play when you’re ready. Let’s learn this together. Episode 30 is now streaming on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and YouTube. YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@FlorDeAmelia [https://www.youtube.com/@FlorDeAmelia] Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/1TC4pMJxQrwcyStNfnc9Rd?si=b77353d4aea34a3d [https://open.spotify.com/show/1TC4pMJxQrwcyStNfnc9Rd?si=b77353d4aea34a3d] Apple Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/starting-with-iep/id1828187191 [https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/starting-with-iep/id1828187191] Amazon Music: https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/3a1b111a-750f-4c5e-a3c5-38c55ee4e2d4/starting-with-iep [https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/3a1b111a-750f-4c5e-a3c5-38c55ee4e2d4/starting-with-iep] ✨ Connect with Michael and explore his knowledge: LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mapummer1962/ [https://www.linkedin.com/in/mapummer1962/] 📲 Let’s Connect! Turn IEP stress into confidence. I share useful resources every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday across all my social platforms. Podcast Website: http://www.startingwithiep.com/ [http://www.startingwithiep.com/] Website: https://www.flordeamelia.com [https://www.flordeamelia.com] LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/starting-with-iep [https://www.linkedin.com/company/starting-with-iep] Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/StartingWithIEP [https://www.facebook.com/StartingWithIEP] Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/flordeamelia_ebs/ [https://www.instagram.com/flordeamelia_ebs/] Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/flordeameliahoffman/ [https://www.pinterest.com/flordeameliahoffman/] For content collaborations, email: flor@flordeamelia.com [flor@flordeamelia.com] #ESY #ExtendedSchoolYear #SpecialEducation #IEP #IEPServices #SpecialEdParents #ParentAdvocacy #InclusionMatters #InclusiveEducation #AutismSupport #DisabilitySupport #SpecialNeedsParenting #OneToOneSupport #IEPTeam #EducationAdvocacy #ParentTeacherPartnership #SpecialEducationPodcast #IEPTips #StudentCentered #FunctionalLearning #LifeSkillsLearning #TransitionPlanning #SpecialEducationHelp #IEPMeeting #SupportNotSegregation #ParentEmpowerment #DisabilityAwareness #InclusiveSummer #SpecialEdLife #EducationPodcast

Episode 29: Is Your Child’s IEP Too Long… or Just Done Right? (What Schools Won’t Tell You)

IEPs are meant to support students, but many families are told their plan is “too long,” “too detailed,” or “too complicated.” In Episode 29, we continue the conversation with Michael Plummer to unpack why that mindset can be harmful and what truly individualized planning should look like. This episode explores what happens behind the scenes in special education leadership. From the realities of writing IEPs to the systems schools should have in place to monitor services, we discuss why transparency, strong documentation, and open communication matter for both families and educators. Most importantly, we talk about how schools and parents can move from conflict to partnership, because when trust breaks down, it’s the student who ultimately pays the price. 🌱 In this episode, we explore: ✨ Why some IEPs are long and why that can actually be a good thing ✨ The difference between meaningful goals and “copy-paste” IEP writing ✨ Why schools should never lump students together under the same disability label ✨ How leadership inside IEP meetings shapes the entire experience for families ✨ What parents can request if they suspect services are not being delivered as written ✨ Why service logs and documentation matter more than most families realize ✨ The chain of communication families should follow before filing a complaint ✨ Why transparency from schools builds trust even when services are difficult to provide ✨ How educators and families can refocus conversations on what truly matters: the student If you’ve ever been told your child’s IEP was “too much,” questioned whether services were actually delivered, or struggled to be heard in a meeting, this conversation offers clarity and practical insight. Understanding how IEP systems work and how collaboration should function can help families advocate more effectively while helping schools build stronger partnerships that truly support students. 🎧 Press play when you’re ready. Let’s learn this together. Episode 29 is now streaming on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and YouTube. YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@FlorDeAmelia [https://www.youtube.com/@FlorDeAmelia] Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/1TC4pMJxQrwcyStNfnc9Rd?si=b77353d4aea34a3d [https://open.spotify.com/show/1TC4pMJxQrwcyStNfnc9Rd?si=b77353d4aea34a3d] Apple Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/starting-with-iep/id1828187191 [https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/starting-with-iep/id1828187191] Amazon Music: https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/3a1b111a-750f-4c5e-a3c5-38c55ee4e2d4/starting-with-iep [https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/3a1b111a-750f-4c5e-a3c5-38c55ee4e2d4/starting-with-iep] ✨ Connect with Michael and explore his knowledge: LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mapummer1962/ [https://www.linkedin.com/in/mapummer1962/] 📲 Let’s Connect! Turn IEP stress into confidence. I share useful resources every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday across all my social platforms. Podcast Website: http://www.startingwithiep.com/ [http://www.startingwithiep.com/] Website: https://www.flordeamelia.com [https://www.flordeamelia.com] LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/starting-with-iep [https://www.linkedin.com/company/starting-with-iep] Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/StartingWithIEP [https://www.facebook.com/StartingWithIEP] Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/flordeamelia_ebs/ [https://www.instagram.com/flordeamelia_ebs/] Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/flordeameliahoffman/ [https://www.pinterest.com/flordeameliahoffman/] For content collaborations, email: flor@flordeamelia.com [flor@flordeamelia.com] #IEP #SpecialEducation #IEPMeeting #IEPGoals #IEPProcess #SpecialEdParents #ParentAdvocacy #IEPAdvocacy #SpecialEducationSupport #DisabilitySupport #AutismSupport #IEPTips #EducationAdvocacy #ParentTeacherPartnership #SpecialEdTeacher #IEPData #StudentCentered #InclusiveEducation #IEPServices #SpecialNeedsParenting #EducationMatters #SchoolCollaboration #IEPPlanning #ProgressMonitoring #IEPCompliance #ServiceDelivery #SpecialEducationLaw #ParentRights #IEPHelp #EducationPodcast

Episode 28: What Every Parent Must Know About Transition IEP Planning

Transition IEPs are one of the most critical parts of special education, yet they are often treated like a formality instead of a roadmap to adulthood. When transition planning is vague, delayed, or reduced to a single page in the IEP, students miss meaningful opportunities to build real-world skills before they exit the school system In Episode 28, I walk through what a Transition IEP actually requires under IDEA, when it must begin, and how it should shape the entire IEP, not just senior year planning. We break down measurable post-secondary goals in education and training, employment, and independent living, and discuss why those goals must be grounded in age-appropriate transition assessments rather than assumptions or copy-and-paste language This episode is for parents who are unsure whether transition activities are truly happening during the school year, who see generic future goals without clear services attached, or who are starting to ask bigger questions about adulthood, independence, and long-term support. I also share personal reflections on internships, supported employment, self-advocacy, and why transition planning should feel like a relay race, not a last-minute scramble at graduation Understanding the Transition IEP is not just about compliance. It is about intentionally building a future, one that aligns with your child’s strengths, needs, and vision for adult life. 🌱 In this episode, we explore: ✨ Why transition planning should begin in early adolescence, not senior year ✨ The legal foundation of transition IEPs under IDEA (and earlier start ages in some states) ✨ The difference between a “checkbox” transition page and a true roadmap to adulthood ✨ How to shift the question from “How is my child doing in school?” to “What adult life are we building?” ✨ The three required post-secondary goal areas: education/training, employment, and independent living ✨ Why post-secondary goals must be measurable and specific, not vague aspirations ✨ How schools must use age-appropriate transition assessments (not guesses or copy-paste goals) ✨ The types of transition assessments parents should ask about (interest inventories, vocational assessments, adaptive behavior data, situational work experiences, etc.) ✨ The real reason transition plans often fall apart, lack of data and lack of implementation ✨ How schools vary widely in quality and consistency of transition services If you are early in the IEP process and feeling overwhelmed by documents that do not seem to add up, this episode is meant to ground you. When present levels are clear and data-informed, the entire IEP becomes a tool for forward movement rather than repetition. 🎧 Press play when you’re ready. Let’s learn this together. Episode 28 is now streaming on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and YouTube. YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@FlorDeAmelia [https://www.youtube.com/@FlorDeAmelia] Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/1TC4pMJxQrwcyStNfnc9Rd?si=b77353d4aea34a3d [https://open.spotify.com/show/1TC4pMJxQrwcyStNfnc9Rd?si=b77353d4aea34a3d] Apple Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/starting-with-iep/id1828187191 [https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/starting-with-iep/id1828187191] Amazon Music: https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/3a1b111a-750f-4c5e-a3c5-38c55ee4e2d4/starting-with-iep [https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/3a1b111a-750f-4c5e-a3c5-38c55ee4e2d4/starting-with-iep] 📲 Let’s Connect! Turn IEP stress into confidence. I share useful resources every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday across all my social platforms. Podcast Website: http://www.startingwithiep.com/ [http://www.startingwithiep.com/] Website: https://www.flordeamelia.com [https://www.flordeamelia.com] LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/starting-with-iep [https://www.linkedin.com/company/starting-with-iep] Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/StartingWithIEP [https://www.facebook.com/StartingWithIEP] Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/flordeamelia_ebs/ [https://www.instagram.com/flordeamelia_ebs/] Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/flordeameliahoffman/ [https://www.pinterest.com/flordeameliahoffman/] For content collaborations, email: flor@flordeamelia.com #IEP #SpecialEducation #BaselineData #ParentAdvocacy #IEPTips #SpecialNeedsParenting #IEPMeetings #EarlyIntervention #StudentProgress #IEPGoals #IEPStrategies #EducationForAll #InclusiveEducation #ChildDevelopment #EducationTips #IEPTransition #AdultLife