The Story I’m Telling Myself

Discernment

I spent years not trusting my intuition. Ignoring the tightness in my stomach. Explaining away the red flags. Convincing myself I was overreacting. I became very good at rewriting reality to maintain connection and keep the peace. So in this episode I talk about discernment. The inherent knowing we carry within our bodies. Our gut instinct. And how, over and over again, we dismiss our body's intelligence and allow the stories our mind create to run the show. I describe the nervous system and how it relates to discernment. I talk about the difference between intuition and hypervigilance and the impact trauma has on our ability to accurately perceive threats. How a slight pause in the middle of a recent emotional challenge changed how I now understand healing. And I get honest about a pattern I carried for years. Falling in love with the idea of a person's potential rather than paying attention to who they were choosing to be right in front of me. And as always, I'm weaving together psychology, neuroscience, and spirituality, and how all of this plays out in everyday life (with a little humor here and there).

Shame

For most of my life, shame didn’t feel like a feeling. It felt like truth. “I am bad.” Not “I made a mistake.” “I am the problem.” In this episode, I share how that belief got installed, how it lived in my body, and the way it shaped my health, my relationships, and how I saw myself. I talk about what shame does, why it keeps us hidden, and what started to change when I began turning toward it instead of running from it. And as always, I’m weaving together the psychology, the neuroscience, the spiritual understanding… and how this all plays out in real, everyday life. Not fixing. Not performing. Just staying.

The Story I’m Telling Myself

What if the thing you’re most certain about is a story your nervous system wrote to keep you safe? In this episode I explore Brené Brown’s powerful concept of “the story I’m telling myself” through the lens of Internal Family Systems (IFS) parts work, nervous system regulation, and consciousness. I share personal experiences of how my protective parts create full narratives and how learning to notice the story changed everything. This episode touches on Dan Siegel’s work on how the brain fills gaps when we’re activated, and why awareness of the story is the first step toward building real emotional capacity.

Capacity Is Not Calm

I know the theory. I’ve done the therapy. I’ve even trained to be a psychotherapist. And there are still moments where I get so emotionally hijacked around certain people that I can barely hold it together. So what’s going on? This episode is about the gap most people don’t talk about. The one between knowing exactly what’s happening inside you… and still not being able to change it in the moment. Why “protect your peace” sounds great on candle, but tends to collapse in real relationships. And the difference between being Self-like and being Self-led. One performs wisdom. The other lives it. I share honest, unpolished moments where my parts took over. Where I built stories that made things worse. And what shifted when I let go of needing to be right. I also talk about the most meaningful transformation I’ve experienced. Not in a ceremony, a temple, or with a shaman. It happened quietly, in my living room, with no one watching. We explore awareness versus capacity, emotions as data, unsafe versus unfamiliar, and the simple sequence I keep returning to: Notice. Body. Self. Choice. This isn’t about getting it right. It’s about practising something different, in real time, with all parts of you welcome.

All Parts Welcome

After the pilot, many of you shared that the “parts” language was new, so in this episode I slow things down and explain what parts work actually is. I introduce the basics of Internal Family Systems and the idea that our minds naturally organise into different parts, each with its own emotions, beliefs and protective role. Using the Inside Out analogy and examples from my own life, I explore how these parts form and how learning to notice them can change the way we relate to ourselves and the people we love. I also share more of my personal story and the work of building the capacity to stay present with difficult experiences without collapsing into shame or defensiveness. This episode is about understanding the inner system we all carry, and how curiosity toward our parts can create more compassion, clarity and self-leadership. All parts welcome.