The Breakup Debrief Podcast

#44 Set Boundaries In A New Relationship Without Sounding Insecure

16 min · 3 de may de 2026
Portada del episodio #44 Set Boundaries In A New Relationship Without Sounding Insecure

Descripción

In this week's episode, Kelly tackles a question that so many of you have been too afraid to ask: how do you set boundaries & talk about what you won't tolerate in a new relationship, without sounding crazy, insecure, or scaring him off? Spoiler: the answer might not be what you expect! Inspired by a listener who also sparked Kelly's viral microcheating episode, this one goes deep on the fear behind "the talk" & why, in many cases, you might not need to have it at all. You'll hear: ✨ Why the fear of setting boundaries is often a sign of anxious attachment & what to do about it ✨ A powerful mindset tool for dissolving the worst-case-scenario spiral before it takes hold ✨ The truth about whether setting rules actually stops a cheater (hint: it doesn't) ✨ Why the right person won't need to be told to respect you ✨ How to let your past naturally communicate your standards, without a big dramatic conversation ✨ When to observe instead of explain, and why "letting them" show you who they are is your biggest power move Whether you're newly back in the dating pool or heading towards something more serious, this episode will shift the way you think about protection, trust & what it really means to know your worth. Links & Resources 📧 Share your story for the "Where Is She Now?" segment: info@kellyskoaching.com 📲 Follow Kelly on Instagram & TikTok: @kellyskoaching 🔗 Explore all links & resources: Linktree

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49 episodios

episode #48 Are You Actually Healed Or Are You Just Numb? artwork

#48 Are You Actually Healed Or Are You Just Numb?

You've stopped crying. You've deleted the photos. You haven't checked his Instagram in three whole weeks. You're going to the gym, seeing your friends, getting on with life. So why does something still feel just… off? In this week's episode, Kelly asks the question that nobody else is asking: are you actually healed or are you just numb? Because numb is not the destination, girls. Life is for living. You'll hear: ✨ What healing actually looks like and more importantly, what it doesn't ✨ The difference between being genuinely over it and being dismissive of a whole chapter of your life ✨ The signs that you might be numb rather than healed — and why it is not your fault ✨ Why your nervous system can go into full shutdown mode after prolonged stress or trauma — and the science behind why it turns everything down, not just the pain ✨ The Vampire Diaries analogy nobody asked for but absolutely needed 🧛 ✨ Five questions to ask yourself to figure out which one you're actually in ✨ Why hustle culture and social media are making it harder to actually heal — and easier to perform healing instead ✨ Practical ways to gently reactivate your nervous system and come back to yourself ✨ Why you have to go backwards before you can go forwards This episode might confirm that you're doing better than you think. Or it might be the thing that finally helps you name what's been going on. Either way, you deserve to feel your life to its full extent. And this is your reminder that you can get there ❤️‍🔥 Links & Resources 📧 Share your story for the "Where Is She Now?" segment: info@kellyskoaching.com 📲 Follow Kelly on Instagram & TikTok: @kellyskoaching 🔗 Explore all links & resources: Linktree

31 de may de 202613 min
episode #47 Clingy, Needy, Too Much: Reframing the Labels Women Are Given in Relationships artwork

#47 Clingy, Needy, Too Much: Reframing the Labels Women Are Given in Relationships

Has someone ever said something to you in a relationship, just one throwaway comment, that you then carried around for years without ever questioning it? In this week's episode, Kelly gets personal. She shares the story of the word that her ex-husband used to describe her that stuck like a label for years, the way it quietly shaped how she saw herself, how she showed up in relationships and how she eventually challenged it & reframed it entirely. This one is for anyone who has taken on a label from an ex, a past relationship or even just someone's passing opinion & started to believe it was the truth about who they are. You'll hear: ✨ Kelly's personal story of being called "clingy" in her marriage and why she accepted it as her identity without ever questioning it ✨ How one throwaway comment from an ex can become a deeply held belief about yourself ✨ The therapy moment that made her stop and ask but is it actually true? ✨ How to take your limiting beliefs to court & look at the real evidence ✨ Why words like clingy, needy, emotional & psycho are thrown at women far too freely and why they say more about the person using them than the person being labelled ✨ How to reframe a negative label into something that actually reflects who you are ✨ Why nobody on this planet knows you better than you know yourself And yes, she also announces that she would rather be someone's matcha than their cup of tea. A t-shirt may be incoming 🍵 This episode is your sign to look at the labels you're carrying, figure out where they came from, take them to court and decide for yourself which ones are actually true. Links & Resources 📧 Share your story for the "Where Is She Now?" segment: info@kellyskoaching.com 📲 Follow Kelly on Instagram & TikTok: @kellyskoaching 🔗 Explore all links & resources: Linktree [https://linktr.ee/kellys_koaching?utm_source=linktree_profile_share<sid=a9e18296-f0a3-46b7-a377-544bdd1274a1]

24 de may de 202618 min
episode #46 Dopamine, Heartbreak & Why You're Not Crazy: The Science of a Breakup artwork

#46 Dopamine, Heartbreak & Why You're Not Crazy: The Science of a Breakup

Have you ever wondered why a breakup can feel so physically unbearable? The nausea, the chest pain, the inability to eat or sleep, the spiralling thoughts that won't switch off- and on top of all of that, the shame of feeling like it shouldn't be this hard? In this week's episode, Kelly breaks down exactly what is happening inside your brain and body when a relationship ends- and why it is quite literally the same neurological experience as going through a drug withdrawal. This one is backed by science, packed with practical tools & might just be the most validating episode yet. You'll hear: ✨ Why your brain in love looks identical to a brain high on cocaine and what that means for your healing ✨ The three feel-good chemicals (dopamine, oxytocin & serotonin) that your relationship was giving you — and what happens when they're suddenly cut off ✨ Why you can't stop checking his Instagram, rereading old messages, or looking for excuses to reach out — it's not weakness, it's neuroscience ✨ How your nervous system loses its main source of co-regulation when a relationship ends — and why that sends you into survival mode ✨ The role of cortisol in your breakup spiral — and the simple daily habits that help bring it back down ✨ Breathwork techniques (including the physiological sigh) that are scientifically proven to activate your parasympathetic nervous system fast ✨ How to redirect your dopamine cravings instead of white-knuckling through them ✨ Why you need both space to feel it and space to step away from it — and how to find that balance If you've ever thought "why am I being like this?" after a breakup, this episode is your answer. There is nothing wrong with you. Your brain is doing exactly what it was wired to do. Links & Resources 📧 Share your story for the "Where Is She Now?" segment: info@kellyskoaching.com 📲 Follow Kelly on Instagram & TikTok: @kellyskoaching 🔗 Explore all links & resources: Linktree

17 de may de 202647 min
episode #44 Set Boundaries In A New Relationship Without Sounding Insecure artwork

#44 Set Boundaries In A New Relationship Without Sounding Insecure

In this week's episode, Kelly tackles a question that so many of you have been too afraid to ask: how do you set boundaries & talk about what you won't tolerate in a new relationship, without sounding crazy, insecure, or scaring him off? Spoiler: the answer might not be what you expect! Inspired by a listener who also sparked Kelly's viral microcheating episode, this one goes deep on the fear behind "the talk" & why, in many cases, you might not need to have it at all. You'll hear: ✨ Why the fear of setting boundaries is often a sign of anxious attachment & what to do about it ✨ A powerful mindset tool for dissolving the worst-case-scenario spiral before it takes hold ✨ The truth about whether setting rules actually stops a cheater (hint: it doesn't) ✨ Why the right person won't need to be told to respect you ✨ How to let your past naturally communicate your standards, without a big dramatic conversation ✨ When to observe instead of explain, and why "letting them" show you who they are is your biggest power move Whether you're newly back in the dating pool or heading towards something more serious, this episode will shift the way you think about protection, trust & what it really means to know your worth. Links & Resources 📧 Share your story for the "Where Is She Now?" segment: info@kellyskoaching.com 📲 Follow Kelly on Instagram & TikTok: @kellyskoaching 🔗 Explore all links & resources: Linktree

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episode #43 The One Year Breakup Milestone artwork

#43 The One Year Breakup Milestone

In this episode of The Breakup Debrief, we’re talking about something that hits differently for everyone: The one year mark after a breakup. It’s a date that can feel heavy, emotional, nostalgic… or surprisingly neutral. Because no matter where you are in your journey — single, thriving, dating, or in a new relationship — this milestone has a way of making you pause and reflect. And sometimes… it brings feelings you didn’t expect. This episode breaks down: 👉 why the one year mark feels so significant 👉 why emotions can resurface (even if you’ve moved on) 👉 how to process whatever comes up 👉 and how to use this moment as a powerful check-in — not a setback 📧 Coaching Enquiries: info@kellyskoaching.com 📲 Instagram & TikTok: @kellyskoaching

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