The Belonging Paradox: I built belonging for hundreds of people — while quietly starving for it myself

The Belonging Paradox: I built belonging for hundreds of people — while quietly starving for it myself

About This Episode Have you ever poured your professional energy into creating something for others that you quietly didn't have yourself? Maybe it was flexibility. Maybe it was confidence. For Jenn Fast, for the last three years of her 30-year corporate career, that word was belonging. She was the architect of belonging programs, the person responsible for making sure hundreds of colleagues felt seen, valued, and included. She believed in the work. By most measures, she was good at it. And she carried, underneath all of it, a persistent, low-grade sense of not quite fitting. She could articulate belonging in a presentation. She just couldn't seem to find it in the hallway. In this solo episode, Jenn takes the listener through the full arc: the structural misalignments that compounded over years, the cardiologist who asked whether her job was compatible with her health, the ADHD diagnosis that arrived four months after she left, and the lunch that quietly ended a 30-year career. She also shares what she found on the other side — a kind of belonging she describes as restful, one that doesn't require management or translation. This conversation is for anyone who has been performing belonging somewhere while starving for the real thing. What You'll Hear Why doing deeply meaningful work for others doesn't protect you from being invisible to the system that work lives in What the difference actually feels like between the belonging you perform and the belonging you recognize — in your body, before your mind catches up How chronic stress from a misaligned career shows up as measurable physical damage, not just burnout The moment a cardiologist's words reframed the whole question: not “how do I manage my stress better” but “is my job compatible with my health” Why knowing about ADHD sooner may not have changed anything — and what that says about culture versus diagnosis The quiet lunch that shifted everything — and what real clarity feels like when it finally arrives Why real belonging requires intentionality after you leave a structure, and what it looked like to build it from scratch The two questions that help you notice the gap between where you feel most like yourself and where you spend most of your time Key Takeaway “What if the exhaustion isn’t about the workload? What if it’s about the distance between who you are and where you’re being asked to show up?” — Jenn Fast Timestamps 00:00 — Belonging Irony 03:22 — The Gap Question 03:57 — Stress, Values, and Health 05:59 — ADHD and Fit 07:33 — The Lunch Moment 09:16 — Building New Community 10:52 — Performed vs. Real Belonging 12:51 — Two Questions Closing 14:02 — Reach Out and Share Connect with Jenn Fast Jenn mentions ADHD in this episode — and if any of that resonated with you, she has a free Executive Function Self-Assessment [https://reinventionwithjennfast.com/executive-function-assessment-optin-954914] that can help you understand how your brain is actually wired. It's free, takes a few minutes, and might give you some real clarity. 📱 Instagram: @itsjennfast [https://www.instagram.com/itsjennfast] 📧 Email: info@reinventionwithjennfast.com [info@reinventionwithjennfast.com] 💌 Newsletter: Subscribe to The Comeback Letter on Substack [https://comebackletter.substack.com/] If this episode landed for you, please share it with someone who might need it — a friend in the middle of a hard chapter, or a colleague who’s been saying she’s fine for a little too long. And if you haven’t yet, subscribe and leave a review. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit comebackletter.substack.com [https://comebackletter.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_1]

Special Guest: Carla See on Executive Function, ADHD, and the Parent Who's Been the Reminder System Too Long

Why Your ADHD Teen Can't Start Homework (It's Not What You Think) About This Episode If you've ever watched your teen sit in front of an open assignment and do absolutely nothing — and felt yourself cycling through frustration, guilt, and confusion — this episode is for you. Because what looks like avoidance, defiance, or not caring is very often something else entirely: a skill gap. And skill gaps can be taught. That's a fundamentally different conversation than the one most families are having at 7pm over a backpack full of missing assignments. Carla See is an executive function coach for teens ages 12 and up, and a former special education educator with more than two decades in the field. What makes her work different isn't just the experience — it's that she's lived this from the inside. Her daughter was diagnosed with ADHD with anxiety, and Carla found herself sitting at that same homework table, watching the same tension build, asking herself the same questions she'd heard from parents for years. That experience changed everything about how she does this work. In this episode, Jenn shares her own family's journey through ADHD and autism diagnoses — and the strange combination of grief and relief that came with finally having language for decades of struggles she'd quietly blamed herself for. Together, Jenn and Carla talk about what executive function actually is, why capable teens get stuck, what parents do that unintentionally makes it worse, and what a different approach looks like — one that builds real skills while protecting the parent-child relationship. What You'll Hear Why a teen who "understands the material" can still be completely unable to start — and what's actually happening in their brain when they freeze The difference between a skill gap and a choice not to try (and why it matters more than you think) How becoming your teen's reminder system quietly damages your relationship — and what to step into instead Why Carla asks parents to stop asking about homework during her program, and the "living document" that makes stepping back feel safe instead of scary The one-phrase technique — say it before your teen even starts a task — that builds momentum where reminders never could What resilience actually looks like for exhausted families (hint: it's not positivity, it's persistence) The small, early signs that coaching is working — before grades change, before everything feels fixed What Jenn's own recognition moment felt like, and why so many midlife women are carrying silent self-blame that finally has a name Key Takeaway "Homework will pass. Assignments will pass. Grades will pass. But what you really want to nourish and take care of is the relationship you have with your son or with your daughter." — Carla See Timestamps 00:00 — When Diagnosis Mirrors You 01:10 — Jenn's Family Wake Up 02:02 — Meet Carla See 03:37 — From Educator to Mom 05:44 — Why Go Solo Online 08:37 — The Homework Table Click 10:47 — Executive Function Explained 13:47 — Skill Gap or Defiance 15:07 — Grief, Relief, Recognition 17:58 — Stop Policing Homework 20:29 — When Parents Over-Function 22:27 — Stepping Back With Structure 24:45 — Why She Says "Class" 26:27 — Building Teen Trust 27:14 — Praise Effort Fast 28:59 — Trust Fuels Learning 29:20 — Resilience With Compassion 32:01 — Personal Resilience Story 35:30 — You Are Not Failing 36:54 — When to Get Help 37:58 — Signs Support Works 39:39 — Adult Self Discovery 42:34 — What Families Keep 44:34 — Small Moments Matter 47:24 — Closing Resources Connect with Carla See Website — ADHD Teen Executive Function Coach [https://adhdteenexecutivefunctioncoach.com/] Linktree — coaching program, resources, and all links [https://linktr.ee/carla2818] Connect with Jenn Fast If anything in this episode made you wonder about your own executive function, Jenn has a free self-assessment for adults — a gentle starting place for naming what you've been living with: → Free Adult EF Self-Assessment [https://reinventionwithjennfast.com/executive-function-assessment-optin] Jenn is also writing a book called Executive Function Unlocked, with a course to accompany it. Join the waitlist to hear about it first: → Executive Function Unlocked Waitlist [https://reinventionwithjennfast.com/executive-function-unlocked-waitlist-join] Instagram: @itsjennfast [https://instagram.com/itsjennfast]Email: info@reinventionwithjennfast.com [info@reinventionwithjennfast.com] If this episode resonated with you, please subscribe, share it with a parent who needs to hear it, and consider leaving a five-star review — it helps more families find the show. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit comebackletter.substack.com [https://comebackletter.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_1]

Midlife, Hormones & Speaking Up: Tracey Willingham on Self-Trust, Advocacy & Being Unladylike

Episode 7 Show Notes — Tracey Willingham (That Hormone Girl) Episode Title: When Your Body Changes the Rules: Hormones, Self-Trust, and Speaking Up in Midlife --- About This Episode Have you ever walked out of a doctor's appointment feeling more dismissed than when you walked in? Or spent months second-guessing yourself, wondering if you were making it all up — only to realize that the second-guessing itself is a symptom? In Episode 7, host Jenn Fast welcomes Tracey Willingham — hormone health advocate, licensed social worker, and host of the That's Not Very Ladylike podcast — for a conversation that is equal parts permission slip and practical toolkit. Tracey left her VP role at a nonprofit after years of unaddressed perimenopause symptoms and a healthcare system that kept telling her everything was normal. She built her work, her brand, and her "Speak Up Membership" from that lived experience — and she is boldly, unapologetically not here to make anyone comfortable. This is not just a hormone conversation. It's a conversation about identity, burnout, self-trust, and what it means to stop shrinking yourself to stay comfortable for everyone else. --- What You'll Hear - Why women who are already on HRT still seek Tracey out — and what that reveals about what's missing - How hormonal shifts affect far more than physical symptoms: identity, relationships, work, and self-trust - Why the self-doubt and second-guessing you feel right now is a symptom, not a character flaw - Practical tools for speaking up in medical appointments — including the power of silence, bringing an advocate, and how to use the patient portal to create a paper trail - Why HR works for the company (and what to do instead) - What "unladylike on purpose" actually means — and what it costs women to stay ladylike - Tracey's "Speak Up Membership" — combining AI-based coaching tools, human support, and community for healthcare, workplace, and personal conversations - The concept of "second puberty" — and why midlife is actually your most powerful reinvention window --- Key Takeaway "Whatever you're experiencing right now — it is real. It doesn't have to make sense to exist." — Tracey Willingham --- Timestamps - 00:00 — The moment the old rules stopped working - 00:49 — Meet Tracey Willingham (That Hormone Girl) - 02:16 — Why she quit her nonprofit VP job - 04:08 — What "unladylike on purpose" really means - 07:07 — Hormones beyond physical symptoms - 09:31 — Self-blame, shame, and why women carry everyone else's feelings - 11:38 — Second-guessing as a symptom - 13:21 — What "speaking up" actually looks like (with yourself, your doctor, your partner, at work) - 17:22 — How to prepare for a doctor's appointment so you don't leave feeling dismissed - 21:05 — Advocacy scripts that work: silence, pausing, pushing back on "normal" - 25:01 — The Speak Up Membership: what it is, who it's for, and how the AI coaching works - 31:44 — Midlife as a "second puberty" — and what that means for you - 34:10 — Final thoughts and how to connect If today's episode resonated with you, please subscribe, share it with a woman who needs to hear it, and leave a five-star review. It helps other women find this show. Connect with Tracey: * Speak Up Membership [https://go.thathormonegirl.com/speak-up-membership] * Instagram: @thathormonegirl [https://www.instagram.com/thathormonegirl] * That’s Not Very Ladylike Podcast [https://go.thathormonegirl.com/tnvll-podcast] * Tracey’s Everything Page [https://go.thathormonegirl.com/thg-everything-page] Want support with your own midlife hormone foundation? I put together the Menopause Foundations Program [https://reinventionwithjennfast.com/menopause-foundations-purchase-page-597784] for exactly this moment — when you know something has shifted and you’re ready to understand it, address it, and build from it. 👉 Learn more here [https://reinventionwithjennfast.com/menopause-foundations-purchase-page-597784] Connect with Jenn Fast Website: reinventionwithjennfast.com If you have any questions or are interested in being on this show, please reach to me at info@reinventionwithjennfast.com Instagram: @reinventionwithjennfast As always — I’m glad you’re here. Jenn Fast This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit comebackletter.substack.com [https://comebackletter.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_1]

You’re Not Falling Apart—You’re Becoming Someone New

What happens when your life looks full on paper—but no longer feels like yours? In this episode of The Comeback Show, I’m joined by my longtime friend Melissa Whitaker for a deeply honest conversation about midlife reinvention, identity shifts, burnout, body wisdom, and what it looks like to begin again without blowing up your whole life. Melissa and I have known each other since the 3rd grade. We lost touch for decades and recently reconnected while both moving through major life transitions. In this conversation, we talk about what it means to outgrow an old version of yourself, how to rebuild self-trust, and why becoming can feel messy before it feels freeing. Melissa shares her path from being an energy healer for 27 years to stepping fully into life coaching after years of helping run family restaurants through financial stress, Covid, and a devastating flood that changed everything. We talk about how women can tell the difference between burnout, boredom, and deeper misalignment—and how healing often begins by listening to the body, calming the nervous system, setting boundaries, and choosing self-compassion over self-abandonment. We also talk about perimenopause, community, fear, possibility, and the slow, sustainable kind of change that actually lasts. If your old life no longer fits, this episode is for you. In this episode, we cover: What it means to outgrow an old identity in midlife How to tell the difference between burnout, boredom, and misalignment Why body wisdom matters when you’re trying to make aligned decisions The role of boundaries, nervous system support, and self-compassion in reinvention Why change does not have to be chaotic to be real How community and honest conversation can support major life transitions Why it is never too late to begin again Connect with Melissa If you need support in that process, Melissa is offering complimentary consultations. Check out her website and book a session here:  https://www.innerjourneyhealingcoach.com/ [https://www.innerjourneyhealingcoach.com/]  [https://www.innerjourneyhealingcoach.com/] Follow Melissa and Inner Journey Coaching on Instagram:  https://www.instagram.com/inner.journeycoaching [https://www.instagram.com/inner.journeycoaching]  [https://www.instagram.com/inner.journeycoaching] Connect with Jenn Website:  reinventionwithjennfast.com [http://reinventionwithjennfast.com]  If you’re interested in being on the show or have questions, reach out at:  info@reinventionwithjennfast.com [info@reinventionwithjennfast.com]  [info@reinventionwithjennfast.com] Timestamps 00:00 Becoming Someone New 00:42 Reconnecting With Melissa 02:09 Healer Origins 03:56 Restaurant Years 06:40 Last Straw At 50 09:57 Flood And Rebuild 12:06 Burnout Or Outgrowing 14:10 Body Wisdom And Burnout 18:27 Midlife Compassion Shift 22:18 Growth Feels Uncomfortable 27:07 Pressure to Perform 28:20 Boundaries and Body Trust 29:34 Self Compassion Over Guilt 31:58 Aligned Change Without Chaos 35:38 Reconnection Through Somatics 38:16 Community and Midlife Support 41:22 Never Too Late to Begin 44:50 Holding Fear and Possibility 46:50 Imposter Syndrome and Showing Up 47:38 Trust Yourself Takeaway Subscribe and Share If this episode resonated, subscribe to The Comeback Show, share it with a friend, and pass it along to the woman who needs the reminder that she is not too old, too late, or too broken to begin again. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit comebackletter.substack.com [https://comebackletter.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_1]

Why Holistic Health Matters After Burnout: The First Step in Reinvention

This week, we’re diving deep into holistic health as the cornerstone of true reinvention. Progress Isn’t Linear I’ll be honest: since retiring early and moving back in September, I’ve hit a plateau on my health journey. At a recent check-in, my weight loss doctor reminded me that progress is about more than numbers—my muscle mass was up, and I hadn’t regained significant weight. Why Holistic Health Matters If you’ve ever struggled with a plateau or felt like your progress was stalling, you’re not alone. My latest article, Why Holistic Health Matters: The First Step in Your Reinvention Journey [https://reinventionwithjennfast.com/post/why-holistic-health-matters], explores why it’s essential to look at the whole picture—body, mind, and routines—when you’re rebuilding after burnout or life transitions. Wellness Experiments: Four-Week Review of Primal Queen Goddess Creatine Bites (Video 6) In video 6 of my Wellness Experiments series [https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLZX6vsz-q5nl6qwgwTJ4M-hYUhAleTlAo&si=Uv8d6oY0d7pg2lzX], I’m sharing my honest four-week check-in with Primal Queen Goddess Creatine Bites [https://primalqueen.com/pages/goddess?snowball=JENNIFERFA85815] (affiliate link). If you’re curious about creatine’s impact on energy, sleep, mental clarity, or muscle support—especially for women—this is for you. March Collaborations & Growth My own Outer Reinvention journey includes building a business of my own, and part of my strategy for 2026 includes leveraging my network in collaborations and speaking at virtual summits. I’m excited to be part of several collaborations this month (will share any links as they go live, so make sure you’re following): * Everyday Balance Bundle [https://www.everydaybalancebundle.com/tr/2/13644956/12985330021/41969003/4059974535d4721bac8cae86a1e22f4a3777377a5] (March 16–22): More tools for finding daily equilibrium. I’m contributing my Comeback Recipe Collection Volume 1 as a free gift... And I’m contributing my Comeback Year Month 1 Reset Kit - Fresh Starts & Gentle Goals for those who upgrade to the VIP experience [https://www.everydaybalancebundle.com/vip-extra-ended?=sasa02442356774de632e5781fbb64b6dbda5a7b02e8]. * Beyond Corporate Burnout Summit [https://www.goalsuccesscoach.co/pages/beyondcorporateburnoutsummit-register?ref=fsflmpos] (March 17–19): I’m presenting on “Lived Experience Eats Theory for Breakfast,” and sharing my Comeback Year Month 1 Reset Kit. * Aligned Life Summit [https://itsjennfast--lindseyaleson.thrivecart.com/aligned-life-summit/] (March 23–27): I’ll share my Blueprint for Burnout Recovery Email Mini-Course, and my presentation is titled, “Aligned Productivity After Burnout: Build a Weekly System Your Nervous System Can Keep.” Thanks to these collabs, my email list has grown by 384% since January 1st! I’ll share more behind-the-scenes of my growth strategy in an upcoming Outer Reinvention series. If you’re interested in collaborating or need a speaker for your event, please reach out! (info@reinventionwithjennfast.com [info@reinventionwithjennfast.com]). I’m also always looking for podcast guests or be a podcast guest. Resources & Recommendations A few favorite resources making a difference in my journey: * Oura Ring: My go-to for tracking sleep, recovery, and gentle accountability—use my link for a discount [https://ouraring.com/]. * Primal Queen: Goddess Creatine Bites [https://primalqueen.com/pages/goddess?snowball=JENNIFERFA85815], PQ-7 appetite support [https://primalqueen.com/pages/pq7-daily-support?snowball=JENNIFERFA85815], and beef organ nourishment [https://www.primalqueen.com/JENNIFERFA85815]. * Inner Journey Coaching: Melissa has been my friend for over 30 years, and specializes in mindset and empowerment coaching for business owners—book a free consult [https://www.innerjourneycoaching.com/]. * Ayla’s Podcast: I joined Not That Kind of CEO [https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/not-that-kind-of-ceo/id1706066879] to talk boundaries, burnout, and self-support. Some links are affiliate links. I only recommend what I genuinely use and love. Stay Connected Don’t miss upcoming resources, collab links, and the Outer Reinvention series—make sure you’re subscribed. And if you have a story, win, or question, reply here or comment on socials. We’re in this together—one gentle reset at a time. -Jenn Fast This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit comebackletter.substack.com [https://comebackletter.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_1]