The Cost of Silence: Neurodivergent Men, Masking, and Finding Support

The Cost of Silence: Neurodivergent Men, Masking, and Finding Support

Shane Thrapp and Braden Young discuss the “cost of silence” underlying masking, describing how men are conditioned from childhood to hide struggle, avoid asking for help, and “push through” quietly, which becomes especially damaging when layered with ADHD/autism challenges like executive dysfunction, sensory overwhelm, emotional dysregulation, and rejection sensitivity. Braden shares a story about his son identifying overwhelm at a crowded flea market, highlighting how many men lacked language for their experiences and may go undiagnosed into their late 30s or 40s, often internalizing shame and believing they are lazy or broken. They describe long-term consequences including anxiety, depression, substance abuse, relationship strain, isolation, burnout, and anger. They emphasize peer community support, spotlight the Men’s ADHD Support Group (about 26,000 members, plus Discord and meetings), and encourage listeners to seek men’s support resources and share the episode. You can find out more information about the Men's ADHD Support Group at https://mensadhdsupportgroup.org [https://mensadhdsupportgroup.org] for join them on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/groups/mensadhdsupportgroup [https://www.facebook.com/groups/mensadhdsupportgroup] You can find Shane Thrapp at https://www.creatingorderfromchaos.com  [https://www.creatingorderfromchaos.com] You can find Braden Young at https://empoweradhdsolutions.com [https://empoweradhdsolutions.com]   00:00 Welcome and Setup 00:35 Cost of Silence 01:29 Where Silence Starts 02:01 Neurodivergence and Masking 02:45 Finding the Words 04:37 Hidden Long Term Costs 05:43 Shame Anger Burnout 07:06 Men's ADHD Support Group 08:29 How to Join Safely 09:56 Braden's Community Story 11:32 Feeling Seen Together 12:38 Takeaway and Next Steps

Beyond Mother’s Day: Building Daily Respect and Connection in ADHD Relationships

Shane Thrapp and Braden Young use Mother’s Day as a starting point to talk about how ADHD and AuDHD can make dates, gestures, and follow-through difficult, and why appreciation needs to be a daily practice rather than a once-a-year performance. Shane shares involving his kids, Liam and Harley, in choosing gifts to teach them to notice and value their mom, while both hosts emphasize that small, consistent acts of attention matter more than grand gestures. They explain how dopamine-driven novelty, time blindness, object permanence issues, executive function challenges, and rejection sensitive dysphoria can lead to complacency, missed needs, and defensiveness despite good intentions. They recommend systems like scheduled partner check-ins, reminders, trying new things together, learning love languages, externalizing appreciation, and staying present because kids are watching and learning what love looks like in practice. 00:00 Welcome to DadDHD 00:25 Mother's Day Jump Off 01:33 Teaching Thoughtfulness 02:28 Respect as Practice 03:52 ADHD Brain Science 05:29 Autopilot and Neglect 06:39 Follow Through Problems 07:33 RSD and Defensiveness 08:38 Systems That Work 09:00 Check Ins on Calendar 10:11 Redirect Novelty Together 11:03 Reminders and Externalize 12:41 Small Daily Connection 13:38 Kids Are Watching 14:19 Start Being Intentional 15:20 Wrap Up and Subscribe You can find Shane Thrapp at https://www.creatingorderfromchaos.com  You can find Braden Young at https://empoweradhdsolutions.com

Their Story, Not Yours — RSD and the Trap of Making Your Child's Struggles About You

Braden Young of Empower ADHD Solutions flies solo and unpacks rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD) and what it looks like when your child is the one experiencing it—especially in a neurodivergent household where a parent’s own ADHD and past rejection can get activated. He explains how perceived rejection can feel like overwhelming emotional pain, and how parents can accidentally shift into fix-it mode, over-advocacy, story-sharing, anger, or minimizing as a way to manage their own discomfort. Braden reframes the goal as empathy without enmeshment: your child’s rejection belongs to them, not as a replay of your childhood. He offers practical steps—do your own work, pause and regulate, ask what they need, let them own their story, and model moving through rejection—so your child gets emotional space and support without carrying your unprocessed pain. You can find Braden Young at https://empoweradhdsolutions.com

Breaking the Spanking Cycle Using Authoritative Parenting Skills

Join Shane Thrapp of Creating Order From Chaos and Braden Young of Empower ADHD Solutions as we get into one of the most charged conversations in parenting: spanking, discipline, and the cycle most of us were handed before we ever had a choice. We're digging into what the research actually says, why "I turned out fine" deserves a harder look, and what gentle parenting actually means — because the misunderstanding around that term is costing a lot of families. Learn about why decades of research across more than 160,000 children landed in the same place and what that means for how we discipline our kids, why physical punishment hits differently when your child's nervous system is already working overtime due to ADHD, autism, or both, what gentle parenting actually is versus the permissive no-consequences approach it constantly gets mistaken for, how authoritative parenting gives you firm consistent limits and the connection your kids need to actually learn from them, and why breaking the cycle starts with understanding that it was handed to you — and that what you do with it from here is yours to decide. You can find Shane Thrapp at www.creatingorderfromchaos.com  You can find Braden Young at www.empoweradhdsolutions.com

Connecting With Our Kids Through the Things We and They Love

Join Shane Thrapp of Creating Order From Chaos and Braden Young of Empower ADHD Solutions as they talk about the quiet distance that builds between neurodivergent dads and their kids when we keep our lives and theirs in separate lanes. Our hobbies over here, their stuff over there. Our downtime on one side of the house, them on the other. This episode is about closing that gap by including our kids in what we already love, letting our ADHD brains do what they do best, and showing up for the small moments that actually build the relationship. Learn about why sometimes embracing the chaos of our ADHD brains is exactly how we connect with our kids in ways nobody else can, how our tendency to bounce from interest to interest is actually a gift when it comes to helping our kids explore the world and find what they love, why rough-housing, bedtime, and homework are where the real connection gets built, how to find shared interests without forcing them, the language you need for birthday parties and social events so you stop standing around like a statue, and why being present with your kids is also one of the biggest gifts you can give your partner. Don't miss the part where we get into what it actually looks like to let your ADHD inner kid out and play, and why the neurodivergent dads who lean into the chaos end up building connections their neurotypical counterparts can't touch.  You can find Shane Thrapp at www.creatingorderfromchaos.com.  You can find Braden Young at www.empoweradhdsolutions.com.