342: Finding Your Natural Allyship Rhythm with Dr. Meg Warren

342: Finding Your Natural Allyship Rhythm with Dr. Meg Warren

I've always said that allyship isn't a proclamation you make—it's an aspiration that lives in the eye of the beholder. For a long time, we've been told that to be a real ally, you have to be this fearless, extroverted warrior constantly jumping into the line of fire. Let's be real: most of us are just trying to hit our step goals and remember to eat less salt without feeling like we're failing at life! In this episode, the brilliant Dr. Meg Warren joins me to flip the script. We're moving away from that check the box mentality and diving into the baby pool of self-awareness to see how your unique personality—yes, even if you're introverted or conflict-avoidant—is actually your greatest superpower for change. Key Themes from the Conversation The Personality Myth in Allyship. Many people believe they aren't built for allyship because they don't fit a specific, extroverted, or courageous mold. However, research indicates that about 91% of the population has a personality profile that is workable and well-positioned for allyship. "I regularly hear from people saying to me that... I don't have the personality for it. We see this in our research... people say, for instance, I'm too introverted, I'm too agreeable, I'm too conflict-avoidant, I'm too risk-averse to really be an ally. But that's not true. You can still be an ally in your own way." Diverse Definitions of Support. There is a significant disconnect between what potential allies think is effective, such as public confrontation, and what marginalized groups actually find most useful. While many men view calling out bias as the primary method of allyship, women often find other strategies more beneficial, and confrontation may not even be on their list of useful actions. "Most men across the board said that the most important way to be an ally is to confront bias by calling out bias. And then when we asked women, they gave a ton of other strategies of what's actually useful for them, and confrontation and calling out did not even feature." Sustainability Through Natural Traits. Allyship becomes sustainable when it feels like an organic extension of one's existing character strengths and personality rather than a forced or difficult change. Using strengths that already come naturally allows individuals to be more successful and handle constructive feedback more effectively. "Allies can start by asking how can I do this in a way that just naturally flows for me? And I'm not looking at big changes right now, I'm making small changes, just a little tweak here and there, to start becoming more active." Starting Small to Scale Big. While systemic change is the ultimate goal, successful allyship often begins at the micro-level within an individual's sphere of influence. Scaling these behaviors up to systemic levels is more manageable once a critical mass of individuals is practicing allyship in their daily interactions. "Start with doing allyship at a micro level, and then scaling that up to systemic levels, especially when starting at the systems, it almost feels like a non-starter." Actionable Takeaway Identify your top character strengths using a tool like the Values and Action (VIA) assessment, and then choose one allyship micro-behavior—such as checking in with a colleague or offering support—that feels like a natural extension of those existing strengths. Assess your Personality: https://bigfive-test.com/ [https://bigfive-test.com/] Assess your Character Strengths: https://www.viacharacter.org/ [https://www.viacharacter.org/] Research paper on how to match personality and character strengths to allyship strategies: https://osf.io/preprints/psyarxiv/vt7bf_v3 [https://osf.io/preprints/psyarxiv/vt7bf_v3] Additional free research-based resources: www.megwarren.com [http://www.megwarren.com/] Contact Meg: https://www.linkedin.com/in/warrenmeg/ [https://www.linkedin.com/in/warrenmeg/]

341: Real Talk on Self Leadership and Shaking Off the Bullshit with Aiko Bethea

I am just vibrating with excitement after my chat with Aiko Bethea ! If you've followed her work as I have, you know she's basically the gold standard for building cultures that actually mean something . We got into the nitty-gritty of her new book, Anchored, Aligned, and Accountable, and let me tell you, it is the blueprint we need right now . I even got a little unplanned coaching session myself—turns out, even after years in the DEI space, I'm still a recovery fixer trying to work my way out of every hard feeling . Aiko gently called me out on that toxic productivity narrative we've all been fed since we were kids . It's time to stop responding to everyone else's agenda and start leading from the inside out . Key Themes from the Conversation * The Power of Personal Values as an Anchor Aiko emphasizes that identifying two or three core values acts as a physical tether, preventing leaders from being swept away by external pressures or "ick" feelings they can't quite name . * Finding out what was most important to them, which I name in the book as identifying their values, being anchored into their values... helped them to close that gap, and to make key changes in how they were showing up. * Identifying and Challenging Bullshit Narratives The framework encourages leaders to interrogate "bullshit"—the unexamined, default beliefs inherited from family or workplace cultures that often prioritize productivity or defensiveness over authenticity . I want people to think, says who? And how would I want it to be, or need it to be, to be anchored? * Intrinsic Motivation vs. External Approval True inclusive leadership isn't about being a "good guy" or seeking external glorification; it is about self-awareness and aligning one's actions with one's aspirational self . It's going to be about, wow, how does this leave me sitting, or feeling, and... if I... my aspirational self was this, what would I do differently? * The Necessity of Meaningful, Public Accountability When a leader makes a mistake, a private "I'll do better" isn't enough to shift a culture; it requires a specific, humble apology that acknowledges the impact on the team . When he did a very specific apology that was public about what he did... whoa, shifts everything, because now people see, oh man, he's showing up differently... he realized this behavior isn't okay. Actionable Takeaway Start your own self-interrogation by identifying one "should" in your professional life. Ask yourself, says who? If that belief doesn't align with your core values, give yourself the grace to drop the behavior and replace it with an action that feels anchored . Follow Aiko and get her book at https://www.rarecoaching.net/team/aiko-bethea/

340: How to Share Your Personal Life Without Hurting Your Career with Catherine Kleshinski

I am so excited to share this conversation with my wonderful colleague and friend, Dr. Catherine Kleshinski from Indiana University. We've all been there on a random Monday morning when someone asks, "How was your weekend?" and we're dying to share a picture of our new puppy or the chaos of a first birthday party. I used to think these me-search moments were just simple trust builders—and they are! Catherine's latest research in the Journal of Applied Psychology reveals that there is a lot of nuance behind that water cooler talk. It turns out that while sharing the non-work vibes makes us all seem warmer, the way it impacts our reputation actually depends on where we sit in the hierarchy. So, how can we build authentic connections without accidentally triggering the workplace gossip mill? The Warmth Benefit vs. The Distraction Penalty: Everyone who shares positive personal news is perceived as warmer and more caring, but junior or lower-status employees may simultaneously be viewed as less focused on their professional responsibilities. "Everyone gets the warmth benefit, but the work ethic connotation depends on power dynamics." The Gossip Ripple Effect: Reputation isn't just a static feeling; it drives how people talk about you when you aren't in the room, leading to either flattering or unflattering workplace gossip. "If you have this reputation for being a relationship builder, people will engage in positive gossip about you, but if you are somebody with a reputation for being distracted, they'll gossip negatively about you." The Invisible Line of Disclosure: There is a delicate balance between sharing enough to build trust and oversharing details like health issues or intense personal data that can make others uncomfortable. Creating Safe Spaces for Connection: Leaders should focus on creating icebreakers that allow for choose-your-own-adventure levels of vulnerability so that no one feels pressured to share more than they are comfortable with. Actionable Takeaway Audit your icebreakers. If you are a manager, be mindful that vulnerable sharing can unintentionally disadvantage your junior team members. Instead of asking personal questions, try a reciprocity ring where teammates request help with a specific task, or use "Tell Me Something Good" to allow people the choice between sharing a professional win or a personal one.

339: How Human Skills Unleash the Real Power of Generative AI with Anthony Salcito

It is such a wild time to be in the world of training and development, isn't it? I've had this persistent hunch—call it a "zag" when everyone else is "zigging"—that as much as we're obsessing over AI, the real secret sauce is still our human intuition . I recently sat down with Anthony Salcito from Coursera, and it turns out my hypothesis wasn't just wishful thinking. We've all seen those robotic AI outputs that sound like they've never actually lived a day in their lives, and while I've certainly fumbled through my share of prompt engineering, the data shows that our soft skills are more critical than ever . We're navigating a world where we have more data than we know what to do with, and the magic happens when we decide how to use that information to lead with empathy and culture . Key Conversation Themes * The Symbiotic Rise of AI and Human Agency. While technical enrollments are skyrocketing, they are being matched by a demand for leadership and critical thinking to ensure these tools are used ethically and effectively . "Humanity will always become more valuable when the technology is more pervasive or used in a sort of a paradigm-shifting way, like what's happening with AI." * The Critical Need for Discerning Truth In an era of deepfakes and advanced data models, a core human talent is the ability to separate reality from generated content and prioritize what truly matters for an organization . "Discerning reality from what is created by Gen AI is certainly a core talent... that's really where that human is super critical." * Cultivating an Entrepreneurial Mindset Internally. Organizations are looking for intrapreneurs—people who use AI tools to think bigger and pivot quickly without being constrained by historical technological limits . "You want an entrepreneurial mindset to exist inside of learners in an organization that think differently about using these tools." * AI as a Safe Space for Human Growth. One of the most exciting applications is using AI for role-playing, allowing employees to practice difficult conversations and gain confidence without the fear of being judged by a peer . "It's hard to roleplay with a human, because you're worried about being judged... I can see it being much safer to do with a robot." Actionable Takeaway Audit your AI prompts for Human Activation. The next time you use a generative tool, don't just accept the first output. Apply your unique lived experience to pivot the prompt, asking the tool to provide a multi-perspective view or a specific organizational culture lens to ensure the result has the humanity required to drive real business change . Follow Anthony's work at Coursera at https://www.coursera.org/.

338: What Equity is and How Enable it at Your Organization with Celeste Warren

This week, Celeste Warren, a globally recognized thought leader, author, and former Fortune 100 Vice President, returns to discuss her latest book, The Truth About Equity. Celeste shares her insights on: * Defining Equity: Moving beyond the buzzwords to understand equity as a pragmatic approach to meeting people where they are. * The "Fence" Analogy: Exploring the systemic "isms" that create barriers and how acts of equity can help dismantle them. * Equity in the Workplace: From recruitment and talent development to succession planning and performance management, Celeste identifies key areas where organizations can foster a more equitable culture. * The Future of DEI: Discussing the evolving landscape of Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion and the importance of transparent, data-driven strategies. Join us for a candid and insightful conversation about the power of equity to transform organizations and communities. Find Celeste Warren online: * Website: crwdiversity.com [https://crwdiversity.com] * Book: The Truth About Equity [https://www.amazon.com/Truth-About-Equity-Really-Everyone/dp/1967587000] * TEDx Talk: The Cost of Standing Still (forthcoming)