TGL 008 Some thoughts on non-defensiveness

TGL 012 Addendum | More on Jouissance, Death Drive, & Negativity (Lack)

INTRO: This episode of The Gorman Limit is being released very shortly after episode 011. The reason for this is that I thought about the topics I've been riffing on during episodes 010 and 011, and there was more I wanted to say about jouissance, the death drive, & negativity or lack. CONTENT: 0:00 - 3:02 | Introduction stuff.  * Coffee...  * This is coming out soon after episode 011 * I've got more to say about jouissance, the death drive, & negativity or lack  * You should really listen to 010 & 011 before listening to this episode.  3:02 - 19:48 | Review & Set up * A review of jouissance, the death drive.  * Setting up a more in-depth discussion of negativity/lack. 19:48 - 37:46 | The ways negativity/lack can empower the death drive  * I talk too much. * Too much lack empowers the death drive.   * Too little lack also empowers the death drive.  * Some less extreme examples  37:46 - 59:05 | How do we use negativity or lack clinically?  * I'm in a new place, and I've got a baby with me.  * The lack we talk about with patients needs to be a lack they care about.  * The lack that the patient cares about tends to be revealed slowly.  * "Mind the gap"  * Not too much.  * Not too little.  * Wrap up.

TGL 011 Negativity & The Death Drive

INTRO: In this episode of The Gorman Limit, Neil talks more about the concepts of negativity as lack (rather than as bad) and the death drive. This episode is a continuation of Neil's work teaching a seminar on doing clinical work with individuals. CONTENT: 0:00 - 0:11 - I got this song [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tom%27s_Diner] stuck in my head... 0:11 - 5:00 - Introduction.  * I'm reaching a seminar.  * In this episode, I'll be talking about the concept of... * Negativity * Death-drive 5:00 - 20:35 - The Negative Pt. 1  * Negative does not mean "bad".  * Negativity as not having.  * Negative liberty V. Positive liberty.   * Negative reinforcement v. Positive reinforcement.   * It is the stuff we don't have that motivates us, more than what we do have.  20:35 - 28:21 - The Negativity P.t 2   * Don Draper "Happiness is the thing you have before we need more happiness ." * Having is good, but we are (generally) more focused on what we lack that makes us do things and stuff.  28:21 - 37:35 - Death Drive Pt. 1  * The time before we are born is stress & anxiety-free.  * Freud says we might want to get back to that.  * Life is a struggle.  * If the struggle is enjoyable (if there is jouissance in it) then we desire to continue to live.  * If the struggle is not enjoyable (if there is no jouissance in it) then we desire to die.  37:35 - 44:28- Let's try to bring it all together.  * There can be too much negativity (lack) and that fires up the death drive.  * The Ethics of Opting out, by Mari Ruti  [https://www.amazon.com/dp/0231180918?tag=neilgorman-20] * Necropolitics, by Achille Mbembe [https://www.amazon.com/dp/147800651X?tag=neilgorman-20]

TGL 010 It's All about Jouissance

Hi, In this episode of TGL, Neil starts to talk about the concept of Jouissance (i.e., enjoyment). The claim Neil makes is that understanding the way jouissance functions in our lives is essential to understanding why people do the things they do, in particular when those things don't make a lot of sense. Breakdown:  * 0:00-0:15 | Coffee * 0:15-7:50 | Context, background, setting the stage * 7:50-20:10 | The question: Why do people snatch defeat from the jaws of victory? * 20:10-38:00 | Five points about jouissance (i.e., Jouissance 101)  * 38:00-54:15 | Let's answer the question: Why do people snatch defeat from the jaws of victory? The answer is repressed desire, repressed modes of jouissance acting out in our lives.

TGL 009 The Moment Before

Intro 0:00 - 8:15 - Ezra Klein Interviews George Saunders [https://www.nytimes.com/2021/02/19/podcasts/ezra-klein-show-george-saunders-transcript.html] about A Swim in the Pond in the Rain [https://www.georgesaundersbooks.com/books/a-swim-in-a-pond-in-the-rain-hc]. - They talk about being parents - They talk about moments of crisis, and the moment before the moment of crisis Moments 8:15 - 18:01 - Daniel Stern’s [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Daniel_Stern_(psychologist)]The Interpersonal World of the Infant [https://www.amazon.com/dp/0465095895?tag=neilgorman-20] - The BCPSG [http://www.changeprocess.org/] (A book of their articles [https://www.amazon.com/dp/0393705994?tag=neilgorman-20]) - Life happens on a moment-by-moment basis - Moments last 3-10 seconds - We can see the moments before now - We don’t see the moments that are coming as clearly as we do the moments that happened before now Now Moments & Missed Moments 18:01 - 30:40 - Moving along - Autopilot - Now moments - Missed moments - Moments of meeting Taking care of self & others in the moment before 30:40 - 43:20 - Take care of yourself and - Take care of others - In the moments before a crisis/now moment

TGL 008 Some thoughts on non-defensiveness

Intro: 0:00-9:55 - Hi - I've got another kid now - Live is crazy but also wonderful Story: 9:55-28:15 - Who, what, when, where, why - The kids of kids I was working with at this point in my life - Curse word warning! - What happened Thoughts & Commentary: 28:15-39:20 - I hope I don't become sanctimonious  - We all like the idea of non-defensiveness  - We all also enjoy being defensive  - The goal (in so far as there might be one) is to generally lower our baseline level of defensiveness on a daily basis.