Episode 17: Why Validation Feels So Addictive

Episode 17: Why Validation Feels So Addictive

What if the confidence you rely on isn't actually yours? In Episode 17 of The Happiness Standard, Dr. Sarah Eileen-Downey Akers explores the hidden psychology behind validation, self-worth, confidence, and social approval. Discover why external validation feels so rewarding, how it can quietly shape your happiness, and the surprising path to building confidence from within. References: Bandura, A. (1977). Self-efficacy: Toward a unifying theory of behavioral change. Psychological Review, 84(2), 191–215. Baumeister, R. F., & Leary, M. R. (1995). The need to belong: Desire for interpersonal attachments as a fundamental human motivation. Psychological Bulletin, 117(3), 497–529. Crocker, J., & Wolfe, C. T. (2001). Contingencies of self-worth. Psychological Review, 108(3), 593–623. Izuma, K., Saito, D. N., & Sadato, N. (2008). Processing of social and monetary rewards in the human striatum. Neuron, 58(2), 284–294. Neff, K. D. (2003). Self-compassion: An alternative conceptualization of a healthy attitude toward oneself. Self and Identity, 2(2), 85–101.

Episode 16: The Expectation Effect

Are your expectations communicated or assumed? In EP 16 of The Happiness Standard, Dr. Sarah Eileen-Downey Akers explores how expectations shape our relationships, self-worth, and emotional wellbeing. Learn how unmet expectations can lead to disappointment, why boundaries are essential for healthy communication, and how self-integrity helps build trust with yourself. Through communication theory, practical strategies, and real-life examples, this episode offers tools for navigating relationships, setting boundaries, and managing expectations in a healthier way. Episodes Mentioned: Are You Giving Grace or Making Excuses? : https://open.spotify.com/episode/7LV5dyquSt77IFZi4lZZ2B?si=MV_DjfjCQ5-XSPab5tpDVg Embracing Change: https://open.spotify.com/episode/4Rb0qH75B6lcyufxIgssu1?si=0CLHhk6oQrKoACrKkfHiOg References: Burgoon, J. K. (1993). Interpersonal expectations, expectancy violations, and emotional communication. Journal of Language and Social Psychology, 12(1–2), 30–48. https://doi.org/10.1177/0261927x93121003 Burgoon, J. K., & Jones, S. B. (1976). TOWARD a THEORY OF PERSONAL SPACE EXPECTATIONS AND THEIR VIOLATIONS. Human Communication Research, 2(2), 131–146.

Episode 15: Did COVID Make You Lonely

Did COVID change the way you connect with people? In EP 15 of The Happiness Standard, Dr. Sarah Eileen-Downey Akers explores the rise of loneliness after the pandemic and why feeling disconnected impacts more than just our emotions. Using research from Hawkley and Cacioppo (2010), this episode breaks down the psychological, relational, & physical effects of loneliness — and how we begin reconnecting again! Podcasts Episodes Mentioned:  Embracing Change: https://open.spotify.com/episode/4Rb0qH75B6lcyufxIgssu1?si=nG8FT8_DS62ukWeEOFIvDg Anger Is Your Friend: https://open.spotify.com/episode/6FJJtqnCRTkHSM9wRYMh3b?si=kQUV-UaoSNyVTK1b05lTrw References:  Hawkley, L. C., & Cacioppo, J. T. (2010). Loneliness matters: a theoretical and empirical review of consequences and mechanisms. Annals of behavioral medicine : a publication of the Society of Behavioral Medicine, 40(2), 218–227. https://doi.org/10.1007/s12160-010-9210-8

Episode 14: Embracing Change

In this episode of The Happiness Standard, we discuss embracing change, outgrowing relationships, letting go of people who are no longer aligned with your life, and navigating uncertainty when the future feels unclear. Sometimes growth means accepting that not everyone is meant to come with you—and that not knowing what’s next doesn’t mean something is wrong. Even if that's scary! Tune in for an honest conversation about change, healing, and becoming who you’re meant to be.

Episode 13: Anger is Your Friend

Anger, sadness, anxiety, and jealousy aren’t the problem—they’re signals trying to tell you something. In this episode, Dr. Sarah Eileen-Downey Akers breaks down why all emotions serve a purpose and why we must learn how to respond to our emotions, not react to them. We also explore how identifying the fallacies and narratives we tell ourselves can improve emotional intelligence, mental health, relationships, and self-awareness. *Note* I misspoke when I said 87,000 emotions! I meant 87🤦🏼‍♀️ References: Atlas of the Heart (Brown, B. (2021). Atlas of the Heart: Mapping Meaningful Connection and the Language of Human Experience. Random House.),  Ellis, A. (1955). New approaches to psychotherapy techniques. Journal of Clinical Psychology, 11, 207–260.) Stoewen D. L. (2024). The vital connection between emotional intelligence and well-being - Part 1: Understanding emotional intelligence and why it matters. The Canadian veterinary journal = La revue veterinaire canadienne, 65(2), 182–184.  Wood, J. T. (2020). Interpersonal communication: Everyday encounters (9th ed.). Cengage Learning.