Solo in Seoul

What straight people can learn from gay men with Eric Williams

This week, Shaun sits down with comedian, actor, writer, and host of That’s a Gay Ass Podcast, Eric Williams, for a conversation that’s hilarious, horny, and a surprisingly tender masterclass on queerness, straight male loneliness, flirting, consent, emotional intelligence, and what the straights can learn from the gays. Eric and Shaun talk about Dan Savage, Grindr, gay panic, open relationships, non-monogamy, and why deleting the apps might be the universe’s way of sending you back into the real world. They unpack the weirdness of being recognized while dating, the blurry line between flirting and boundary-pushing, and why good flirting usually happens one tiny green light at a time. Eric shares what it’s been like to build his own queer playbook around marriage, family, career, sex, and not having kids, while Shaun asks the very important question: how do you know if your boyfriend is gay? They also get into straight men, gay men, emotional intelligence, the loneliness epidemic, and how boys are still taught that anger is the only acceptable feeling. Shaun opens up about his dad softening near the end of his life, Eric talks about grieving the version of himself that tried to fit into his straight family’s rules, and together they make a case for living more honestly, more expressively, and with better communication around desire. And yes, there is also a surprisingly educational detour into foreskin, mushroom trips, chesticles, Edgy Albert, and whether Shaun is officially gayer than Dan Savage. Eric Williams hosts That’s A Gay Ass Podcast, a top 100 comedy podcast that was named “One of the Best Podcasts To Listen To” [https://www.glamour.com/story/best-podcasts-2023] by Glamour Magazine. It was nominated for Best Podcast at the 2025 + 2026 Queerty Awards and has been featured in Variety [https://variety.com/2024/digital/podcasts/thats-a-gay-ass-podcast-eric-williams-sexual-awakenings-1235984433/], The Hollywood Reporter [https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/general-news/laura-benanti-slams-zachary-levi-anti-vax-gavin-creel-1236080043/], Vulture [https://www.vulture.com/article/zachary-levi-broadway-laura-benanti.html], and more. As a comedian, Eric has performed in the Netflix Is A Joke festival and is currently touring his solo show Why All The Drama after playing NYC's famed Joe's Pub. You can check out more of Eric's work on Tiktok [https://www.tiktok.com/@ericwillztt], Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/ericwillz/], and you can watch That's A Gay Ass Podcast on Youtube [https://www.youtube.com/@gayasspodcast/videos]. In this episode: • How Shaun and Eric bonded over Dan Savage • Why deleting the apps might bring dating back to life • The difference between being sexually forward and being creepy • What straight people can learn from gay flirting • Open relationships, non-monogamy, and making your own rules • Why gay men may have better emotional muscles than straight men • Straight male loneliness and the cost of emotional shutdown • How boys are taught that anger is the only acceptable feeling • Family, queerness, boundaries, and living unapologetically • How do you know if your boyfriend is gay? • Mushrooms, grief, dads, softness, and self-soothing • A very educational conversation about intact penises • What love means to Eric Williams Mentions: Hot hairy guy — Edgy Albert Instagram https://www.instagram.com/edgyalbert/ [https://www.instagram.com/edgyalbert/] Connect with Shaun: Love Camp: https://shaungalanos.substack.com/p/summer-camp-isnt-just-for-kids-love [https://shaungalanos.substack.com/p/summer-camp-isnt-just-for-kids-love] Retreats and latest offerings: ⁠https://bit.ly/m/thelovedrive [https://bit.ly/m/thelovedrive]⁠ Read my blog: ⁠https://shaungalanos.substack.com⁠ [https://shaungalanos.substack.com⁠] The Love Drive Podcast: ⁠https://shaungalanos.com/podcast/⁠ [https://shaungalanos.com/podcast/⁠] Instagram: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/thelovedrive/⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/thelovedrive/⁠] More About Shaun: ⁠https://shaungalanos.com/about/⁠ [https://shaungalanos.com/about/⁠] Buy me a coffee: ⁠https://buymeacoffee.com/thelovedrive⁠ [https://buymeacoffee.com/thelovedrive⁠]

Solo in Seoul

This week, Shaun comes to you solo from Seoul, South Korea, for an episode that’s part travel diary, part dating debrief, and part emotional field note from the road. After a muted-mic false start, a pastry reset, and some solo wandering, Shaun reflects on the strange clarity that can come when you’re alone in a new city. From there, he answers listener questions about sex, desire, independence, receiving love, and the confusing ways intimacy can stir up old survival patterns. In one question, Shaun unpacks why someone might seem interested before sex, only to pull away after intimacy happens. Maybe desire was running the show all along. Or maybe something deeper is at play, like the Madonna-whore split, where someone struggles to hold another person as both sexually desirable and emotionally worthy. He also responds to a listener who has built a deeply independent life — running a business, raising two boys, buying her own car — but struggles to receive love, compliments, or support. Shaun validates the strength it took to become that self-reliant, while gently naming that independence can also be a survival mechanism. Receiving, he says, doesn’t mean giving up your power. It starts with baby steps: letting in a compliment, asking for help, trusting safe people slowly, and noticing what happens inside when you don’t have to do everything alone. If you’ve ever been alone in a beautiful city, wondered why the “chemistry” suddenly disappeared, or struggled to let love in because you’ve had to hold everything together yourself, this one’s for you. In this episode: * Why Shaun is solo in Seoul * Travel, solitude, and the thoughts that catch up with you * Why someone might lose interest after sex * When desire is driving the connection * The Madonna-whore split, explained simply * Why receiving love can feel uncomfortable * Independence as a survival mechanism * Giving energy vs. receiving energy * Asking for help without losing your strength * How trust is built slowly, with safe people Links: * Paradise Band (Kasima's birthday band) — Spotify [https://open.spotify.com/artist/1cBpduQulXQHJaj9m0RYS8] and Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/paradisebangkok/] * Needles Tattoo Studio, [https://www.instagram.com/theneedlestattoo/] Hongdae — Jackpot [https://www.instagram.com/needles_tattooing/] + Red Lip [https://www.instagram.com/redliptattoo/] * Culinary Backstreets Food [https://culinarybackstreets.com] Tour Seoul  * Last week's episode with Laura Griffith https://youtu.be/fXm0bi-rZeE?si=l0TD9ZOiqCMcFoGp [https://youtu.be/fXm0bi-rZeE?si=l0TD9ZOiqCMcFoGp] * Voicemail line: 415-494-9559 * Email: podcast@thelovedrive.com [podcast@thelovedrive.com] To submit a guest, please do so here: https://shaungalanos.com/podcast/ If you’re listening on Spotify or watching on YouTube, please leave a comment. Shaun loves hearing from you. And leave a review wherever you listen. Connect with Shaun: Love Camp: https://shaungalanos.substack.com/p/summer-camp-isnt-just-for-kids-love [https://shaungalanos.substack.com/p/summer-camp-isnt-just-for-kids-love] Retreats and latest offerings: ⁠https://bit.ly/m/thelovedrive⁠ [https://bit.ly/m/thelovedrive⁠] Read my blog: ⁠https://shaungalanos.substack.com⁠ [https://shaungalanos.substack.com⁠] The Love Drive Podcast: ⁠https://shaungalanos.com/podcast/⁠ [https://shaungalanos.com/podcast/⁠] Instagram: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/thelovedrive/⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/thelovedrive/⁠] More About Shaun: ⁠https://shaungalanos.com/about/⁠ [https://shaungalanos.com/about/⁠] Buy me a coffee: ⁠https://buymeacoffee.com/thelovedrive⁠ [https://buymeacoffee.com/thelovedrive⁠]

Peter Pan, grief, and the men who won't grow up with Laura Griffiths

This week, Shaun sits down with his good friend, somatic therapist and sex & relationship coach Laura Griffiths, for a conversation that's part confessional and part masterclass on masculinity, grief, and the kind of intimacy most men are too scared to reach for. Laura calls Shaun out on the charm he wears like armor, names his "performative" first-date energy that kept them from ever being romantic, and unpacks why women fully rooted in their bodies feel threatening to so many men, including him. They go deep on the Peter Pan archetype and the absence of real initiation into manhood, why the Manosphere is fueled by guys who are "angry their mothers weren't their fathers," and what healthy masculinity actually looks like when you let the mask down. Shaun opens up about the emotional rock bottom he hit this past fall - a short romance that cracked open a lifelong childhood wound, followed by the death of his beloved dog Roger — and why he chose this time not to hide. Laura brings a somatic therapist's precision to grief, the pain body, receiving love, and the erotic charge that lives in the space between vulnerability and strength. If you've ever wondered whether men and women can really be friends, why grief and eros live in the same room, or what it means to "optimize for heartbreak," this one's for you. Laura Griffiths is a somatic therapist and sex & relationship coach working with individuals and couples on rupture, repair, and creative-erotic power. Find her at thelauragriffiths.com [https://www.thelauragriffiths.com], on Instagram @thelauragriffiths [https://www.instagram.com/thelauragriffiths], and on Substack at Tongue of Honey. [https://tongueofhoney.substack.com/] In this episode: * How Laura and Shaun met on Hinge — and why there were no flirty vibes * The mask of charm and the "little wounded boy" underneath it * Why powerful, embodied women feel threatening * Peter Pan, Neverland, and the initiation men never got * The Manosphere decoded: the father wound in plain sight * Grief, eros, and crying in coffee shops * What receiving really asks of us * Love as "optimizing for heartbreak" Send Shaun your questions at +1 (415) 494-9559 or email him at podcast@thelovedrive.com. Voicemails and voicememos are preferred, but texts/emails are OK too.  To submit a guest, please do so here: https://shaungalanos.com/podcast/ If you’re listening on Spotify or watching on YouTube, please leave a comment. Shaun loves hearing from you. And leave a review wherever you listen. Connect with Shaun: Love Camp: https://shaungalanos.substack.com/p/summer-camp-isnt-just-for-kids-love [https://shaungalanos.substack.com/p/summer-camp-isnt-just-for-kids-love] Retreats and latest offerings: ⁠https://bit.ly/m/thelovedrive⁠ [https://bit.ly/m/thelovedrive⁠] Read my blog: ⁠https://shaungalanos.substack.com⁠ [https://shaungalanos.substack.com⁠] The Love Drive Podcast: ⁠https://shaungalanos.com/podcast/⁠ [https://shaungalanos.com/podcast/⁠] Instagram: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/thelovedrive/⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/thelovedrive/⁠] More About Shaun: ⁠https://shaungalanos.com/about/⁠ [https://shaungalanos.com/about/⁠] Buy me a coffee: ⁠https://buymeacoffee.com/thelovedrive⁠ [https://buymeacoffee.com/thelovedrive⁠]

The beauty of letting go

In this solo episode, Shaun shares the story of Roger, his blind dog, and what loving him through loss taught him about trust, grief, and letting go. What begins as a response to a listener’s question about a dog losing its sight turns into a deeper reflection on resilience, adaptation, and how often we project our fear onto the ones we love. He also checks in from Thailand, reflects on nicotine withdrawal and travel, and answers listener questions about dating as a therapist and navigating friendship after a breakup. This episode is about grief without regret, freedom without guilt, and what Roger the blind dog taught Shaun about living in the moment. Timestamps: (00:20) Thailand update, solo travel, and being the 33rd wheel (03:20) Day 24 without nicotine and changing plans from Europe to Korea (07:42) Roger the blind dog, resilience, and what animals teach us about presence (14:40) A sweet listener voicemail and why this podcast matters (18:26) Dating as a therapist or helper without losing your humanity (23:15) Breakups, friends staying connected to an ex, and letting go of control (28:54) Previewing next week with Laura Griffiths (30:09) Love Camp and an invitation into something different Send Shaun your questions at +1 (415) 494-9559 or email him at podcast@thelovedrive.com. Voicemails and voicememos are preferred, but texts/emails are OK too.  To submit a guest, please do so here: https://shaungalanos.com/podcast/ If you’re listening on Spotify or watching on YouTube, please leave a comment. Shaun loves hearing from you. And leave a review wherever you listen. Connect with Shaun: Love Camp: https://shaungalanos.substack.com/p/summer-camp-isnt-just-for-kids-love Retreats and latest offerings: ⁠https://bit.ly/m/thelovedrive⁠ Read my blog: ⁠https://shaungalanos.substack.com⁠ The Love Drive Podcast: ⁠https://shaungalanos.com/podcast/⁠ Instagram: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/thelovedrive/⁠ More About Shaun: ⁠https://shaungalanos.com/about/⁠ Buy me a coffee: ⁠https://buymeacoffee.com/thelovedrive⁠

Sex therapist debunks bedroom myths: squirting, pegging, monogamy with Claire Perelman

In this episode, Shaun is joined by Bay Area sex therapist Claire Perelman, aka Sex Clarified, for a candid and useful conversation about sex, desire, shame, and the stuff people are usually too awkward to say out loud. They get into monogamy, sexual compatibility, communication, squirting, pegging, orgasm pressure, porn habits, toys, libido differences, and the shame so many people still carry around pleasure. This episode is really about permission: to communicate clearly, stop performing, get curious about your body, and stop treating sex like a test you can fail. Send Shaun your questions at +1 (415) 494-9559 or email him at podcast@thelovedrive.com. Voicemails and voicememos are preferred, but texts/emails are OK too. To submit a guest, please do so here: https://shaungalanos.com/podcast/ [https://shaungalanos.com/podcast/] If you’re listening on Spotify or watching on YouTube, please leave a comment. Shaun loves hearing from you. And leave a review wherever you listen. Books and other mentions: She Comes First by Ian Kerner https://www.amazon.com/dp/0060538260/ [https://www.amazon.com/dp/0060538260/] Slow Sex: The Path to Fulfilling and Sustainable Sexuality by Diana Richardson https://www.amazon.com/Slow-Sex-Fulfilling-Sustainable-Sexuality/dp/B0853DZL95 [https://www.amazon.com/Slow-Sex-Fulfilling-Sustainable-Sexuality/dp/B0853DZL95] Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski https://www.amazon.com/Come-You-Are-Surprising-Transform/dp/1476762090 [https://www.amazon.com/Come-You-Are-Surprising-Transform/dp/1476762090] Squirting workshop https://heyplura.com/events/squirting-may [https://heyplura.com/events/squirting-may] Guest links: Instagram - www.instagram.com/sexclarified [http://www.instagram.com/sexclarified] TikTok - www.tiktok.com/@sexclarified [http://www.tiktok.com/@sexclarified] Website – www.sexclarified.com [http://www.sexclarified.com/] Substack - https://substack.com/@claireperelman [https://substack.com/@claireperelman] All other relevant links - linktr.ee/sexclarified [http://linktr.ee/sexclarified] Connect with Shaun: Retreats and latest offerings: https://bit.ly/m/thelovedrive [https://bit.ly/m/thelovedrive] Read my blog: https://shaungalanos.substack.com [https://shaungalanos.substack.com] The Love Drive Podcast: https://shaungalanos.com/podcast/ [https://shaungalanos.com/podcast/] Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thelovedrive/ [https://www.instagram.com/thelovedrive/] More about Shaun: https://shaungalanos.com/about/ [https://shaungalanos.com/about/] Buy me a coffee: https://buymeacoffee.com/thelovedrive [https://buymeacoffee.com/thelovedrive]