motherhood was never a dream

dear dani, how do I adult?!

This week’s episode is a dear dani special, where we relaunch my advice column! Three of our listeners share their growing pains about young adulthood, from trying to fit in at work both socially and professionally, to figuring out what to do now that college has ended. Submit an entry here: tinyurl.com/dearjusdani [tinyurl.com/dearjusdani] jusdani.substack.com [jusdani.substack.com] @deeperwithdani [instagram.com/deeperwithdani]

when care work and violence shape womanhood

Happy to have spent Women’s Month well, as I got to join many different events and activities where I learned from fellow women. On the pod, I share a certain theme that I have observed from these experiences: how care work and violence shape womanhood. I reflect on the anger that I feel as a woman, and share what we can possibly do about it. If you or someone you know is in need of support: Violence Against Women Helplines | Philippine Commission on Women [https://pcw.gov.ph/violence-against-women-helplines/] References: 2025 18-day Campaign to End Violence Against Women | Philippine Commission on Women [https://pcw.gov.ph/2025-18-day-campaign-to-end-violence-against-women/] Context in the Philippines - Association CAMELEON [https://cameleon-association.org/contexte-aux-philippines/?lang=en] Explained PH - CHILDHOOD STOLEN BY MEN In 2024, more than 3,600... | Facebook [https://www.facebook.com/ExplainedPH/posts/childhood-stolen-by-menin-2024-more-than-3600-girls-aged-15-and-below-gave-birth/1559557599164461/] FAQs: What is unpaid care work and how does it power the economy? | UN Women – Headquarters [https://www.unwomen.org/en/articles/faqs/faqs-what-is-unpaid-care-work-and-how-does-it-power-the-economy] 'Most pregnancies in girls under 15 likely linked to statutory rape' [https://cebudailynews.inquirer.net/712028/most-pregnancies-among-girls-under-15-likely-linked-to-statutory-rape] Racial & Sexual Violence Pyramid | PCAR [https://pcar.org/resource/racial-sexual-violence-pyramid]

motherhood was never a dream

I’ve heard it all: I shouldn’t speak so soon. Maybe I just haven’t found the right guy to have kids with. I can never be sure of my own future. There are so many other responses that resist the idea of a young woman being so certain about not wanting to have children of her own, as if admitting this makes her an anomaly, because isn’t this a role women are supposed to enact eventually?Here, I try to make sense of why motherhood holds no appeal for me and how, despite this personal choice, I still support women who dream of motherhood. ✦⁠⁠ [instagram.com/notjusdani] ⁠jusdani.substack.com⁠ [jusdani.substack.com] instagram.com/deeperwithdani [instagram.com/deeperwithdani] instagram.com/notjusdani [instagram.com/notjusdani] dearjusdani@gmail.com

does singlehood make me less of a woman?

Last semester, I attended a lecture in graduate school that explored the lived experiences of single Filipino women in their 30s. I came out of the lecture realizing that while these participants did not expect to be single at that age, I never seemed to have had that aspiration. With people my age moving in together and settling down, I can’t help but wonder if there is anything strange about not being partnered. And the answer is no, it’s not weird. I am glad to live in a time where it is embraced and encouraged. But being single does make me reassess what it means to be a woman, if I am not going to be anybody’s girlfriend or wife. instagram.com/deeperwithdani ✦ instagram.com/notjusdani jusdani.substack.com [jusdani.substack.com] dearjusdani@gmail.com

exploring r/MyBoyfriendIsAI: engineering romance or deception?

You look lonely… can AI fix that? On this episode, we explore the ever-contentious r/MyBoyfriendIsAI subreddit, where users share their motivations for pursuing romantic connections with bots that are nowhere close to human, but are able to mimic qualities that one would consider to be ideal in a partner. Users claim that such a unique relationship has its benefits that surpass human connection, but is that really the case? Instagram: @deeperwithdani [instagram.com/deeperwithdani] ✦ @notjusdani [instagram.com/notjusdani] TikTok: @jusdani [tiktok.com/@jusdani] jusdani.substack.com [jusdani.substack.com] dearjusdani@gmail.com