Why Accepting Compliments Feels Like a Trap

Why Accepting Compliments Feels Like a Trap

Text Jule comments or topic requests :) [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2512272/fan_mail/new] If you can’t accept a compliment without downplaying it, deflecting it, or chalking the whole thing up to luck, this episode is for you. I sometimes do the same thing, and for a long time I had no idea why owning my own accomplishments felt safer to dodge than to just sit in. I trace it all the way back to a report card and what  my dad said when he finally looked at it. This episode shows why accepting compliments can feel like a trap, where that programming actually comes from, and how I’ve slowly learned to take the recognition in instead of shoving it away. I’ll walk you through the project I couldn’t pin on luck, and the simple thing I started doing that’s changing how I see myself. Topics covered in this episode: * The Mean Girls scene that explains why saying “yes, thank you” can feel like a setup * The report card moment that taught me I wasn’t allowed to be proud of myself * Why being good at something can feel physically dangerous long after you’ve left home * How this showed up in my corporate career and in how I priced my own business * The one client project I couldn’t write off as beginner’s luck * One simple habit I started that’s helping me actually believe I’m good at what I do * How to figure out your “special sauce,” which is usually the thing you keep brushing off If you’ve got that one friend who rejects compliments like they’re allergic, this one’s for them too.   Support the show [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2512272/support] Interested in coaching with Jule? [https://adviceactually.com/contact/] LinkedIn: @julekim [https://www.linkedin.com/in/julekim/] / Instagram: @itsjulekim [https://instagram.com/itsjulekim] / TikTok: @itsjulekim [https://www.tiktok.com/@itsjulekim] Jule’s website: https://adviceactually.com/ [https://adviceactually.com/] Buy Jule’s Self-Love Affirmation Cards on Amazon [https://www.amazon.com/Self-Love-Affirmations-Reflections-Self-Worth-Self-Compassion/dp/0593690303/] Ways to Support This Podcast: 🌟 If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who needs it—and please leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Your support helps more people find the show.

How to Stay Calm When Everything Goes Wrong

Text Jule comments or topic requests :) [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2512272/fan_mail/new] Here's how I stopped overreacting when life falls apart, and why learning to stay calm under stress isn't a personality trait you're either born with or not.  I just spent three days trying to get home from Europe, and watching everyone melt down taught me a lot about how to stay calm when things go wrong. Flights got canceled, a plane got diverted, I caught food poisoning, and the whole time people were screaming at the staff. I used to be one of these people yelling at everyone, and somewhere this changed. If you know your reactions could be better, or you're walking on eggshells around someone who's always about to blow up, this one's for you. Topics in this episode: * How a brand new woman at the airport went from listening to the angry guy to sorting out her own flight  * The metaphor I gave a client about what to do when it feels like it's raining shit on you  * The $600 assessment that showed me my own victim energy and anger energy on paper in 2021  * Why most people land in either victim energy or anger when things go wrong, and why anger feels like the better option  * The one moment in three days of travel chaos that actually got me angry, and what set me off  * Why you change how you feel by changing how you react, not the other way around  * How to give your emotions enough room without wallowing in them  Mentioned at the end: David Hawkins Map of Consciousness [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0KGBLuFdas8] Support the show [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2512272/support] Interested in coaching with Jule? [https://adviceactually.com/contact/] LinkedIn: @julekim [https://www.linkedin.com/in/julekim/] / Instagram: @itsjulekim [https://instagram.com/itsjulekim] / TikTok: @itsjulekim [https://www.tiktok.com/@itsjulekim] Jule’s website: https://adviceactually.com/ [https://adviceactually.com/] Buy Jule’s Self-Love Affirmation Cards on Amazon [https://www.amazon.com/Self-Love-Affirmations-Reflections-Self-Worth-Self-Compassion/dp/0593690303/] Ways to Support This Podcast: 🌟 If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who needs it—and please leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Your support helps more people find the show.

Conflict Resolution: The Hidden Reason Someone Might Be Upset (Communication Skills 2)

Text Jule comments or topic requests :) [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2512272/fan_mail/new] If you’ve ever wondered how to de-escalate a conflict with someone who won’t let it go, or why your apology isn’t landing even when you mean it, this episode is going to give you a real answer. Most people try to fix the feeling, but the actual problem is almost always the thinking underneath it, and until you address the thought, nothing you say is going to move the needle. I walk through a real workshop scenario where the attendees roleplayed through a very common situation, and I show you which responses fell flat, which ones made things worse, and the one that finally worked. Then I get into the three approaches I use most often for conflict resolution at work and in relationships, including a technique I developed myself called coming to neutral. In this episode: * The workshop scenario where four different apologies got four very different reactions, and what that tells you about how people actually process conflict * The one sentence that told me exactly which thought I needed to address, and how to spot this in your own hard conversations * How to know whether to address someone’s emotions or their thinking first * The accusation audit from Chris Voss, and how I use it * The technique I use with my clients to stop the wild emotional swings between positive and negative interpretations * Why a reframe almost never works when emotions are still running high, and when it actually does * The easy test I use to spot when someone’s thinking is the real problem in a conflict This is part two of my communication mini series, so if you haven’t listened to part one yet, start there. Support the show [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2512272/support] Interested in coaching with Jule? [https://adviceactually.com/contact/] LinkedIn: @julekim [https://www.linkedin.com/in/julekim/] / Instagram: @itsjulekim [https://instagram.com/itsjulekim] / TikTok: @itsjulekim [https://www.tiktok.com/@itsjulekim] Jule’s website: https://adviceactually.com/ [https://adviceactually.com/] Buy Jule’s Self-Love Affirmation Cards on Amazon [https://www.amazon.com/Self-Love-Affirmations-Reflections-Self-Worth-Self-Compassion/dp/0593690303/] Ways to Support This Podcast: 🌟 If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who needs it—and please leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Your support helps more people find the show.

How to Talk to Someone Who’s Emotional Without Making It Worse (Communication Skills 1)

Text Jule comments or topic requests :) [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2512272/fan_mail/new] Most of us mess up difficult or emotional conversations because we try to fix the wrong thing. Someone’s upset, and we hand them a fact, a logical explanation, a different perspective, and then we wonder why they get more frustrated or just shut down. (I’m guilty of doing this too.) In this episode I’m sharing my STEW framework (See, Think, Emotion, Words) and a really simple tool for handling someone who’s stuck in their emotions. It’s something I learned the painfully hard way after pissing off a lot of people, and it’s the difference between a conversation that actually goes somewhere and one where you both walk away annoyed. In this episode: * The mom moment that made me realize I was treating emotional pain like it was a logic problem * My STEW framework and how to figure out where someone is actually stuck * The dead giveaway that tells you someone doesn’t need more information, they need something else * Why people prefer feeling angry over feeling sad, and what that means for how you respond * The one tool that calms people down faster than almost anything else * The mistake I see men make with women constantly that backfires every time This is Part 1 of 3 on how to handle someone stuck in their emotions. The next episode covers how to handle someone who’s stuck in their thinking. Support the show [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2512272/support] Interested in coaching with Jule? [https://adviceactually.com/contact/] LinkedIn: @julekim [https://www.linkedin.com/in/julekim/] / Instagram: @itsjulekim [https://instagram.com/itsjulekim] / TikTok: @itsjulekim [https://www.tiktok.com/@itsjulekim] Jule’s website: https://adviceactually.com/ [https://adviceactually.com/] Buy Jule’s Self-Love Affirmation Cards on Amazon [https://www.amazon.com/Self-Love-Affirmations-Reflections-Self-Worth-Self-Compassion/dp/0593690303/] Ways to Support This Podcast: 🌟 If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who needs it—and please leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Your support helps more people find the show.

The Video I Made in 10 Minutes Beat Everything I Overcomplicated

Text Jule comments or topic requests :) [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2512272/fan_mail/new] A video I made in ten minutes beat the ones I spent hours on. That forced me to face something I didn’t want to admit: a lot of what I called “hard work” and “progress” was just overcomplicating the real work. In this episode: * How I convinced myself that hours of production per video was "doing the work" * The TikTok I rushed in ten minutes that got more views than anything I'd ever made * Why my TikTok coach told me my setup was actually hurting my growth * The real reason I kept going back to the old way even after I had proof it wasn't working * What I call "the packaging" and why it felt so much safer than just hitting record * The one question I ask myself now whenever I catch myself overcomplicating something * What actually changed about how I feel on camera now, and what didn't Support the show [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2512272/support] Interested in coaching with Jule? [https://adviceactually.com/contact/] LinkedIn: @julekim [https://www.linkedin.com/in/julekim/] / Instagram: @itsjulekim [https://instagram.com/itsjulekim] / TikTok: @itsjulekim [https://www.tiktok.com/@itsjulekim] Jule’s website: https://adviceactually.com/ [https://adviceactually.com/] Buy Jule’s Self-Love Affirmation Cards on Amazon [https://www.amazon.com/Self-Love-Affirmations-Reflections-Self-Worth-Self-Compassion/dp/0593690303/] Ways to Support This Podcast: 🌟 If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who needs it—and please leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Your support helps more people find the show.