How to Talk to People You Disagree With (feat. Dr. Caroline Fleck)

The Psychology of Outrage: Dr. Kurt Gray on Finding Common Ground

In this episode, social psychologist Dr. Kurt Gray explains why outrage feels so constant in modern politics, and why it’s more real, more human, and more fear-based than we often assume. Author of the book "Outraged", Kurt breaks down the steps to quell outrage and find moral ground. He describes why our brains are wired to fixate on harm and the role of social media in creating stress levels that mirror PTSD. He brings in findings from his research to explore why outrage can push people away from productive action.  The episode ends with an improv game where Kurt playfully reimagines how how famous stories might had gone differently if people had actually tried to understand eachother.  In the season finale, Scott and Allison learn from Kurt how to expertly bridge our strongest divides. 00:00 We live in the age of outrage 05:10 Is outrage real or performative? 09:45 How social media amplifies fear 14:30 Why our brains fixate on harm 18:55 What we’re really protecting 23:40 Villains, victims, and false binaries 28:30 How to meet people where they are 34:10 Why stories change minds more than data 40:05 Using humor to lower the temperature 47:30 Improv game: Rewriting famous conflicts

Fighting Fascism with Humor: Lessons from Activist Loretta J. Ross

In this episode, MacArthur Fellow and lifelong human rights activist Loretta J. Ross shares why humor may be one of the smartest ways to fight fascism, and why outrage alone often falls short. Drawing on more than 50 years of activism, including her work deprogramming white supremacists, Loretta explains the philosophy of her new book “Calling In: How to Start Making Change with Those You'd Rather Cancel.”  The discussion explores authoritarian psychology, cancel culture, and what actually helps people change their minds. To finish the episode, Loretta plays an improv game to show how laughter, curiosity, and dignity can open conversations that anger shuts down. 03:45 Why fascists hate being laughed at 07:30 Calling in vs. calling out 12:10 Why outrage often backfires 16:20 Fighting extremism without losing empathy 21:40 Lessons from deprogramming white supremacists 28:05 How fear fuels authoritarianism 33:10 Calling in family, friends, and strangers 39:00 When to disengage—and why that matters 42:40 The improv game: "good advice / bad advice" 55:10 How to fight fascism without losing yourself

Why Admitting Our Errors Could Save Our Political Future with Aaron Dimmock

In this episode, former naval officer and Republican candidate Aaron Dimmock talks about what it really takes to stay honest; in politics, in community, and with ourselves. He reflects on polarization, party identity, and the cultural forces that make admitting mistakes feel risky. Through stories from military life, his congressional run, and everyday human moments, Aaron explores why transparency is so hard and why it matters. The conversation weaves through psychology themes like threat perception, group identity, and the silent-majority effect—ending with a hopeful look at how love, listening, and shared humanity can shift the tone of our national conversation. 00:00 — Calling out America’s “Bad Breath” 02:00 — Aaron’s journey: Navy officer to candidate 03:20 — The Ted Lasso metaphor for honesty 08:15 — Why politicians won’t admit mistakes 14:30 — The Stockdale Paradox & facing reality 19:30 — Aaron's take on how to mend the divide 23:40 — Losing friends for running Republican 34:00 — Fear, pain & why people get loud 55:50 — Improv game: the halftime speech to save America A production of The Second City and the Argosy Foundation

Exposing the Myth of Online Polarization with Aaron Parnas

Independent journalist Aaron Parnas shares how growing up in a partisan household shaped his early conservative political views, and how moving out helped him rethink what he believed. With Scott and Allison, they explore online polarization, identity, media ecosystems, and why social media makes the country feel more divided than it really is. Aaron explains why 80% of Americans actually agree on 80% of issues, how algorithms reward outrage, and why meeting your neighbors can do more for democracy than any online debate. 00:00 Meet Aaron Parnas 01:12 What is independent journalism? 02:45 Aaron's favorite comedy bit 04:30 Cancel culture and late night comedy 07:24 How Aaron went from supporting Trump to moderating Kamala Harris' book tour 08:40 Why Aaron rejected political polarization early 10:23 Why America feels divided -- but isn’t as divided as we think 11:09 Why 80% of Americans agree on 80% of issues 12:03 The responsibility of reaching millions with news 13:55 What social media actually rewards 17:44 Authenticity, cringe, and being yourself online 19:51 How social media is changing the news landscape

How to Talk to People You Disagree With (feat. Dr. Caroline Fleck)

Psychologist Caroline Fleck joins Allison and Scott to reveal the one tool that helps us connect with those with whom we may disagree. Caroline, a Stanford psychologist and author of the book "Validation", breaks down why we confuse validation with agreement, how fear shapes our political reactions, and why finding even a “kernel of truth” in someone’s perspective can transform conflict into conversation. Plus, she opens up about the personal story that reshaped her understanding of empathy and helps Allison run the most chaotic improv game we’ve played yet: That’s So Valid—featuring Nana, prune juice revenge, and an alarming amount of "air-sex energy." 01:53 — Meet Caroline Fleck 03:34 — Why Caroline wrote "Validation" 05:08 — The Portlandia bit that reveals everything 08:45 — Comedy, connection, and co-conspiracy 11:14 — What Caroline finds not funny 13:44 — What is validation? 16:45 — The "kernel of truth" rule 19:26 — The skillset behind emotional survival 25:38 — Validation in extreme situations 33:01 — Why we think in black-and-white 48:21 — The “that’s so valid” game