What If The Best Divorce Deal Is Not Half

Spotting The Narcissist Playbook

Send us Fan Mail [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2417507/fan_mail/new] Someone can be charming, competent, and impressive in public, then quietly run your home like a system built on power and control. That disconnect is why so many people struggle to name what’s happening until they’re already deep in the “spin cycle.”  We sit down with Jamie Davis of Spin Cycle Coaching to map the narcissist playbook in plain language: idealization and love bombing, the slow creep of control, devaluation that chips away at your confidence, and the moment you realize you cannot stay in the little box they built for you. We also get specific about gaslighting as psychological abuse, including the maddening experience of stating a clear fact and being told you’re wrong anyway, until you start asking yourself, “Is it me?”  Then we talk about what happens when you finally decide you’re done. Jamie explains discarding, why post-separation abuse can intensify during divorce, and how smear campaigns work to repaint the narcissist as the victim. If you’re trying to co-exist, self-preserve, or plan your exit, you’ll hear practical strategies that lower the temperature: regulating your own emotions, building a pause before reacting, using curiosity as a tool, and choosing words that protect your peace. We also unpack how coaching and therapy can work together as you rebuild boundaries and unlearn people pleasing.  If this conversation helps you put words to something you’ve lived, subscribe so you don’t miss what’s next, share it with someone who needs clarity, and leave a review to help more people find the show. To connect with Jamie Davis at Spin Cycle Coaching: https://www.stopthespincycle.com/coaching Hi and welcome to Thrive and Decide. I’m your host Sarah Thress. This podcast is intended to help women who are going through a divorce, continplating divorce or have lost a spouse feel seen, heard, understood and not alone. All the beautiful souls who share on here are coming from a place of vulnerability and a common belief that sharing your story will help others. You will also hear from industry experts on what to do and not do while going through a divorce. Sarah Thress 614-893-5885 Sarahthressrealtor@gmail.com Thrive and Decide Facebook https://www.instagram.com/thrive_and_decide/ https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61559936633799 https://www.facebook.com/SarahThressRealtor/ https://www.instagram.com/sarah_thress_realtor/ Real Estate Podcast Come To Find Out: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/come-to-find-out/id1704949604 Real Estate First Time Home Buyers course: https://sarahthress.graphy.com/

The Co-Parenting Conversation Code

Send us Fan Mail [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2417507/fan_mail/new] Co-parenting can turn normal life logistics into a constant stress test, especially when your ex’s voice alone puts you on defense. We sit down with repeat guest Teresa Luse to share a practical, repeatable way to start and steer co-parenting conversations so they have a real chance of going well. If you feel stuck in high-conflict co-parenting, dreading texts, or replaying arguments from the marriage, this is a calmer path forward that still protects your boundaries. Teresa walks us through her four-step method for launching a difficult conversation: get your mindset straight, acknowledge and empathize, state your desire, and ask for help. We talk about why “empathy” is not agreement, how a simple acknowledgment can lower someone’s guard, and why you should name the outcome you want instead of dictating the other parent’s process. You’ll hear concrete examples like turning “bedtime” battles into a shared goal such as “eight hours of sleep,” plus why specificity matters when you’re building a workable co-parenting plan. We also cover what to do when the other parent says no, how to keep the conversation moving with better questions, and how to exchange information without escalating. Teresa shares where to find her book Combative to Collaborative: The Co-Parenting Code, her newsletter, and her resources for parents who want a more collaborative approach or need parallel parenting structure. If this helps, subscribe, share it with someone navigating divorce and co-parenting, and leave a quick review so more parents can find it. To find out more, find all her resources and to connect with Teresa: https://teresaluse.com/ Hi and welcome to Thrive and Decide. I’m your host Sarah Thress. This podcast is intended to help women who are going through a divorce, continplating divorce or have lost a spouse feel seen, heard, understood and not alone. All the beautiful souls who share on here are coming from a place of vulnerability and a common belief that sharing your story will help others. You will also hear from industry experts on what to do and not do while going through a divorce. Sarah Thress 614-893-5885 Sarahthressrealtor@gmail.com Thrive and Decide Facebook https://www.instagram.com/thrive_and_decide/ https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61559936633799 https://www.facebook.com/SarahThressRealtor/ https://www.instagram.com/sarah_thress_realtor/ Real Estate Podcast Come To Find Out: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/come-to-find-out/id1704949604 Real Estate First Time Home Buyers course: https://sarahthress.graphy.com/

Five Quiet Signals A Marriage Is Failing

Send us Fan Mail [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2417507/fan_mail/new] The scariest part of a marriage ending is how quiet it can look from the outside. One day you realize the jokes have teeth, the warmth is gone, and you’re living side by side instead of together. We sit down with Dr. Becky Whetstone, marriage therapist and author of I Think I Want Out, to unpack her viral framework for the five invisible signs a marriage is dying and why so many couples miss them until divorce feels inevitable. We dig into what those warning signs actually look like in real life: sarcasm and snark replacing kindness, disrespect in front of other people, spending more time away from home, sudden changes in appearance that hint at a “backup plan,” and the most chilling one of all, emotional withdrawal and apathy. We also get blunt about verbal and emotional abuse, because “mean” and “cruel” still count even when there are no bruises. If you’ve been minimizing what’s happening, this conversation gives you language, clarity, and a stronger sense of what you should not tolerate. From there we zoom out to the practical choices: how to make time for your relationship when kids and stress take over, why dating your spouse still matters, and why marriage therapy can be the difference between a painful split and a real turnaround when both people are reasonable and willing. We also share divorce recovery guidance we wish everyone heard sooner, including learning to be alone, building financial independence, and creating a realistic Plan B so you never feel trapped. If you’re navigating a high-conflict split, we explain how a divorce doula can help connect you to the right attorney, financial planner, and real estate strategy. If this gave you a gut check, subscribe so you don’t miss what comes next, share it with a friend who’s quietly struggling, and leave a review to help more people find Thrive and Decide Guide to Divorce. What’s one “invisible sign” you’ve seen that people ignore too long? Dr. Becky Whetstone's Info: Link to the blog we discussed today: https://marriagecrisismanager.com/signs-marriage-is-dying/ Website | https://marriagecrisismanager.com/ [https://marriagecrisismanager.com/] Facebook | https://www.facebook.com/relationshipcrisismanager/ [https://www.facebook.com/relationshipcrisismanager/] X | https://x.com/DoctorBecky [https://x.com/DoctorBecky] Instagram | https://www.instagram.com/doctorbecky/ [https://www.instagram.com/doctorbecky/] LinkedIn | https://www.linkedin.com/in/becky-whetstone-ph-d-33866211/ [https://www.linkedin.com/in/becky-whetstone-ph-d-33866211/] Medium | https://medium.com/@doctorbecky [https://medium.com/@doctorbecky] Hi and welcome to Thrive and Decide. I’m your host Sarah Thress. This podcast is intended to help women who are going through a divorce, continplating divorce or have lost a spouse feel seen, heard, understood and not alone. All the beautiful souls who share on here are coming from a place of vulnerability and a common belief that sharing your story will help others. You will also hear from industry experts on what to do and not do while going through a divorce. Sarah Thress 614-893-5885 Sarahthressrealtor@gmail.com Thrive and Decide Facebook https://www.instagram.com/thrive_and_decide/ https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61559936633799 https://www.facebook.com/SarahThressRealtor/ https://www.instagram.com/sarah_thress_realtor/ Real Estate Podcast Come To Find Out: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/come-to-find-out/id1704949604 Real Estate First Time Home Buyers course: https://sarahthress.graphy.com/

What If The Best Divorce Deal Is Not Half

Send us Fan Mail [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2417507/fan_mail/new] The marital home can turn into the loudest argument in a divorce and not because of the numbers. It’s memory, stability, kids, fear, and that ultra-low interest rate you locked in years ago. We sit down with Genna Queen, a mortgage lender who specializes in divorce mortgage strategy, to cut through the noise and get practical about the decision: keep the house, sell it, or structure an equity buyout that doesn’t wreck your future cash flow. We talk about how real mortgage rules work during divorce, including the uncomfortable truth that a divorce decree doesn’t magically remove someone from a mortgage note. Genna explains common timelines courts allow for refinance after divorce, why “I can afford the current payment” is not the same as qualifying for a new loan with a buyout, and when a HELOC might help short term versus when it can create budget stress with variable rates. We also dig into negotiation strategy, like when it can make sense to trade assets by keeping more home equity instead of taking the same value from a 401(k). We go deep on one of the biggest questions we hear: can alimony and child support count as income for a mortgage? Genna lays out the documentation requirements, the six-month history lenders want to see, and why support structure (monthly vs lump sum) can change your options. If you want to make a calm, informed housing decision during divorce, this conversation gives you the framework. If this helped, subscribe, share it with a friend who’s navigating divorce, and leave a quick review so more people can find it. What’s the hardest part of deciding what to do with the house? To connect with Genna Queen, Ruoff Mortgage https://www.ruoff.com/gennaqueen Hi and welcome to Thrive and Decide. I’m your host Sarah Thress. This podcast is intended to help women who are going through a divorce, continplating divorce or have lost a spouse feel seen, heard, understood and not alone. All the beautiful souls who share on here are coming from a place of vulnerability and a common belief that sharing your story will help others. You will also hear from industry experts on what to do and not do while going through a divorce. Sarah Thress 614-893-5885 Sarahthressrealtor@gmail.com Thrive and Decide Facebook https://www.instagram.com/thrive_and_decide/ https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61559936633799 https://www.facebook.com/SarahThressRealtor/ https://www.instagram.com/sarah_thress_realtor/ Real Estate Podcast Come To Find Out: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/come-to-find-out/id1704949604 Real Estate First Time Home Buyers course: https://sarahthress.graphy.com/

What If Staying Is The Selfish Choice

Send us Fan Mail [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2417507/fan_mail/new] A single realization can rewrite an entire life. Lisa joined us to tell the truth about what happened when a 30-year marriage quietly ran out of love and the pandemic removed every distraction. She shares the moment the “switch” flipped, why she left fast, and the guilt that haunted her even when she knew the decision was right. We get into the messy middle of divorce recovery: emotional detachment, drinking as a coping tool, the strange peace of the first night alone, and the shock of watching an entire friend group go silent. Lisa is candid about serial dating and online dating after divorce, not as a highlight reel, but as a real attempt to feel alive again after decades of ignoring her own needs. I also share the opposite experience, hearing “I don’t love you anymore” in therapy, spiraling into the why, and eventually landing on radical acceptance. Together, we talk about divorce and kids (including adult children), the fear of “messing them up,” and why kids can be more resilient than we think when they see two happier parents. We end with what growth can look like on the other side: stronger boundaries, more intentional friendships, and a second marriage built on real conversation, support, and emotional connection. If you’re navigating midlife divorce, gray divorce, or the heavy question of whether to stay, hit play, subscribe, and share this with someone who needs it. After you listen, what part is hardest for you right now: fear, guilt, or starting over? Hi and welcome to Thrive and Decide. I’m your host Sarah Thress. This podcast is intended to help women who are going through a divorce, continplating divorce or have lost a spouse feel seen, heard, understood and not alone. All the beautiful souls who share on here are coming from a place of vulnerability and a common belief that sharing your story will help others. You will also hear from industry experts on what to do and not do while going through a divorce. Sarah Thress 614-893-5885 Sarahthressrealtor@gmail.com Thrive and Decide Facebook https://www.instagram.com/thrive_and_decide/ https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61559936633799 https://www.facebook.com/SarahThressRealtor/ https://www.instagram.com/sarah_thress_realtor/ Real Estate Podcast Come To Find Out: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/come-to-find-out/id1704949604 Real Estate First Time Home Buyers course: https://sarahthress.graphy.com/