Truth, Trauma, and Authenticity: Why We Hide and How We Heal

DTF Better with Sage and Sara: When Pleasure Feels Too Much | The Nervous System Conversation

You say you want pleasure. More connection. More intimacy. More ease in your body. But when it actually shows up… something tightens. You pull back. You overthink. You start bracing. This isn’t a mindset issue. It’s a safety issue. In this conversation, we get into what it really means to receive pleasure and why so many people struggle to stay in it. From nervous system responses to the stories we carry about intimacy, this episode breaks down why feeling good can feel unfamiliar, overwhelming, or even unsafe. We talk about the “should” patterns that pull you out of the moment, the fear that shows up when connection deepens, and the reality that pleasure is something your body has to learn how to hold. This is about noticing your patterns without shaming them and starting to build capacity for something you actually want. If you’ve ever felt like you can’t fully relax into love, intimacy, or even simple moments of joy… this one’s for you. Listen all the way through. Then take one thing from this episode and actually practice it in your real life. That’s where this work starts to land. Themes Explored in This Episode *  Why pleasure can feel unsafe even when you want it.  * Nervous system regulation and its role in intimacy  *  The connection between emotional safety and physical sensation  *  “Should” thinking and how it disrupts presence  *  Pleasure as a skill, not just a feeling  *  Fear of intimacy and pulling away from connection Key Takeaways * Wanting pleasure is not enough. Your body has to feel safe to receive it.  * Shame does not go away by force. It shifts through awareness and understanding.  * Your nervous system determines how long you can stay in pleasure.  * Overthinking and “should” patterns pull you out of the experience.  * Emotions are signals. Ignoring them disconnects you from your body.  * Intimacy can trigger fear, even when it’s something you want. Jump to the Part That Calls You 0:00 Intro 6:23 The Problem with “Should” Thinking and Losing Presence 11:03 Reactivity, Overstimulation, and Pulling Away 22:05 Belief Systems and Internal Narratives 36:23 Being Disruptive and Advocating for Yourself Connect with Sara: * IG: https://www.instagram.com/confidentpelvicrehab [https://www.instagram.com/confidentpelvicrehab] * Website: http://www.confidentpelvicrehab.com [http://www.confidentpelvicrehab.com/] Connect with me: Instagram desiretheforbidden [https://www.instagram.com/desiretheforbidden?igsh=NW9uMDlodm5pZG52] justasuccugirl [https://www.instagram.com/justasuccugirl?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet&igsh=N2VvMmJvMDV2ajli] Tiktok desiretheforbidden | pleasure professor 🍒 sage [https://www.tiktok.com/@desiretheforbidden] Website https://www.desiretheforbidden.com/ [https://www.desiretheforbidden.com/]

DTF Better with Sage and Sara: Planting Pleasure Seeds | How Intimacy and Connection Grow

Welcome back to Truth Meets Taboo and to another episode of DTF Better with Sage and Sara, the series where we explore how to become more connected, more expressed, and more turned on by life itself. In this conversation, Sara and I continue unpacking pleasure, but not in the way you’ve been taught to think about it. This isn’t about performance, perfection, or peak experiences. It’s about the small, intentional ways you build a life that actually feels good. We introduce the idea of “planting pleasure seeds"; tiny, everyday practices that expand your capacity for joy, creativity, and self-expression over time. Because pleasure isn’t something you stumble into. It’s something you cultivate. We move through everything from self-expression in your space, to creativity, to relationships, to the way you’ve been conditioned to prioritize others over yourself. And I share more about my own process of learning how to choose what I actually want—without filtering it through anyone else. This is not just about seggs.  It’s about becoming someone who is deeply available; for pleasure, for truth, and for life. This episode is an invitation to slow down, get present, and start building a relationship with yourself that actually feels good.  Themes Explored in This Episode *  Pleasure as something you cultivate, not chase  *  “Planting pleasure seeds” and building capacity over time  *  Why pleasure is often externalized instead of self-led  *  The difference between performing pleasure vs. experiencing it  *  Self-expression through space, creativity, and environment  *  How your environment reflects your internal world  *  Relearning joy through small, intentional practices  *  The role of curiosity in accessing pleasure  Jump to the Part That Calls You 0:00 Intro 7:34 Planting Pleasure Seeds in Our Lives 16:49 The Importance of Self-Pleasure and Self-Care 27:31 Embracing Self-Governance and Intimacy Skills 36:04 Exploring Personal Desires and Whimsy 46:40 The Importance of Presence in Experiencing Life 1:01:35 The Vulnerability of Sharing Personal Experiences 1:14:34 Seeking Community in Non-Monogamous Spaces Connect with Sara: * IG: https://www.instagram.com/confidentpelvicrehab [https://www.instagram.com/confidentpelvicrehab] * Website: http://www.confidentpelvicrehab.com [http://www.confidentpelvicrehab.com/] Connect with me: Instagram desiretheforbidden [https://www.instagram.com/desiretheforbidden?igsh=NW9uMDlodm5pZG52] justasuccugirl [https://www.instagram.com/justasuccugirl?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet&igsh=N2VvMmJvMDV2ajli] Tiktok desiretheforbidden | pleasure professor 🍒 sage [https://www.tiktok.com/@desiretheforbidden] Website https://www.desiretheforbidden.com/ [https://www.desiretheforbidden.com/]

DTF Better with Sage and Sara: Moving Beyond Pain Management in Sex, Intimacy, and Pelvic Health

I’m officially opening the first-ever Truth Meets Taboo series—a six-month conversation (two episodes per month) on pelvic floor physical therapy, sexual wellness, and healing painful sex without treating pain as the point of sex. For this series, I’m joined by my co-host Dr. Sara Sohn, a pelvic floor physical therapist, sex counselor, mentor, and professional belly-letting-outer. Sara helps people stop leaking, stop hurting, have better sex, and feel at home in bodies that have changed after weight loss, surgery, or big life shifts—and she talks about bodies and sex the way real people actually live in them. In this first episode, we talk about moving from pain-centered sex to pleasure-centered sex, pelvic health and pleasure, nervous system regulation, sexual counseling, kink and intimacy, intentional abstinence, watering the rose garden metaphor, choosing 2026 mantras, and staying authentic while identity and desire evolve. This series is where truth meets taboo—and where pleasure finally gets a seat at the table. 🌹 In This Episode We Explore: * The difference between moving away from pain vs. moving toward pleasure * Why our nervous systems often cling to suffering * How shame shapes our relationship to seggs, bodies, and worthiness * The connection between pelvic floor pain and emotional safety * Self-abandonment, resentment, and boundary collapse * Burlesque as body reclamation * Abstinence as self-authority and erotic agency * Ritual vs routine: cultivating pleasure intentionally * Rewriting body narratives after weight loss or surgery * Living “many lives in one lifetime” Listen & Connect * Follow the podcast for new episodes in this six-month Truth Meets Taboo series * Share this episode with someone navigating pleasure, pelvic health, and identity shifts Connect with Sara: * IG: https://www.instagram.com/confidentpelvicrehab [https://www.instagram.com/confidentpelvicrehab] * Website: http://www.confidentpelvicrehab.com [http://www.confidentpelvicrehab.com] Connect with me: Instagram desiretheforbidden [https://www.instagram.com/desiretheforbidden?igsh=NW9uMDlodm5pZG52] justasuccugirl [https://www.instagram.com/justasuccugirl?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet&igsh=N2VvMmJvMDV2ajli] Tiktok desiretheforbidden | pleasure professor 🍒 sage [https://www.tiktok.com/@desiretheforbidden] Website https://www.desiretheforbidden.com/ [https://www.desiretheforbidden.com/]

Reclaiming My Body: Intentional Abstinence, Discernment, and Self-Governance

After a year of grief, endings, and major life shifts, this episode opens a new chapter for the podcast. In this episode, I share why I began a vow of intentional abstinence as an act of self-authority rather than restriction. After everything that unfolded last year, I realized I needed to slow down, put clear boundaries around my body, and rebuild trust with my own discernment. Growing up in a highly structured military household taught me how to obey, but not how to choose for myself. Over time, that loss of agency showed up in my relationships, my boundaries, and my relationship with sex. Now 21 days into my abstinence journey, I reflect on reclaiming autonomy, ending cycles of self-betrayal, and coming back into relationship with my body from a place of choice. This episode marks a shift — into deeper self-authority, clearer boundaries, and a more intentional relationship with desire, agency, and self-trust. This conversation is for anyone navigating self-authority, sexual boundaries, and learning how to trust themselves again. Themes Explored in This Episode *  Choosing abstinence as a path to self-authority  *  Growing up with structure vs. developing personal discernment  *  How obedience disconnects you from your own decision-making  *  Losing and reclaiming agency over your body  *  The relationship between boundaries and self-trust  *  Sex as validation, coping, and emotional avoidance  *  Why removing a pattern creates space for awareness  *  Building new nervous system responses through abstinence  *  Self-governance and learning to make aligned decisions  Key Takeaways *  Abstinence can be a tool for self-awareness—not restriction  *  You can lose connection to your own authority through over-structure  *  Boundaries rebuild trust with yourself over time  *  Sex can become tied to worthiness and validation without awareness  *  Removing a pattern reveals what’s underneath it  *  Discipline creates self-trust and confidence  *  You don’t need to give your body to receive love  Reflection Questions *  Where in my life am I outsourcing my decisions?  *  Can I hold a boundary with myself consistently?  *  What would it look like to fully trust my own choices?  Closing Note Self-authority isn’t about control. It’s about trust. And sometimes the strongest thing you can do is choose yourself even when everything in you wants to reach outside. Jump to the Part That Calls You 0:00 Intro 4:51 The Journey of Abstinence: Reclaiming Self-Authority 11:30 Breaking the Link Between Sex and Validation 18:11 Why a Boundary Comes Before Discernment 25:09 When Intimacy Became Armor Connect with me: Instagram desiretheforbidden [https://www.instagram.com/desiretheforbidden?igsh=NW9uMDlodm5pZG52] justasuccugirl [https://www.instagram.com/justasuccugirl?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet&igsh=N2VvMmJvMDV2ajli] Tiktok desiretheforbidden | pleasure professor 🍒 sage [https://www.tiktok.com/@desiretheforbidden] Website https://www.desiretheforbidden.com/ [https://www.desiretheforbidden.com/]

Truth, Trauma, and Authenticity: Why We Hide and How We Heal

This episode is about the truth I kept dancing around. I talk about how hiding became second nature for me. How silence felt safer than honesty. How telling the truth was something my nervous system learned to associate with danger, conflict, and loss. As I reflect on this year, I share what grief, breakups, and major life transitions have taught me about authenticity. About emotional honesty. About the cost of not being real with myself. I explore how trauma shapes our relationship with truth, why environments need to feel safe for honesty to exist, and what it looks like to build relationships that can actually hold the truth without punishment. If you’ve ever felt afraid to name what you really want, this episode is for you. Themes Explored in This Episode *  How childhood shapes your relationship with truth and honesty  *  Why people learn to hide instead of express  *  The connection between truth, safety, and nervous system response  *  Lying as a protection mechanism rooted in trauma  *  How hiding from others leads to hiding from yourself  *  The “web of lies” and how patterns build over time  *  Truth as a pathway to authenticity and self-awareness  *  Why truth disrupts and creates change  *  Letting go of identities that no longer align  *  Fear of abandonment, over-giving, and emotional patterns  Key Takeaways *  Your relationship with truth is shaped early in life  *  Hiding becomes a learned strategy for safety  *  Avoiding truth creates disconnection from yourself  *  One lie often creates multiple layers of avoidance  *  Truth is disruptive—but necessary for growth  *  Being honest requires a safe and regulated environment  *  The only way out of avoidance is through it  Reflection Questions *  What truths have I been avoiding about myself?  *  When did I learn that telling the truth wasn’t safe?  Truth doesn’t just reveal who you are.  It changes what you’re willing to accept. And the more honest you are with yourself,  the harder it becomes to stay in what no longer fits. Jump to the Part That Calls You 0:00 Intro 6:09 Childhood Influences on Truth and Honesty 12:26 The Role of Environment in Truth-Telling 18:25 The Evolution of Identity and Truth 27:25 The “Web of Lies” Pattern Connect with me: Instagram desiretheforbidden [https://www.instagram.com/desiretheforbidden?igsh=NW9uMDlodm5pZG52] justasuccugirl [https://www.instagram.com/justasuccugirl?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet&igsh=N2VvMmJvMDV2ajli] Tiktok desiretheforbidden | pleasure professor 🍒 sage [https://www.tiktok.com/@desiretheforbidden] Website https://www.desiretheforbidden.com/ [https://www.desiretheforbidden.com/]