Why High-Performing Women Can Be Disasters in Relationships

Addicted to the Wrong One

Logic doesn’t stand a chance when love feels like a drug. In this episode, Dr. Stephen Paul Edwards shows how trauma, low self-worth, and intense chemistry can turn a relationship into a full-blown addiction and what it really takes to finally walk away. Welcome back to Uncoupled and Unfiltered — where we talk about the things your therapist hints at and your best friend avoids saying out loud. I’m your host, Ksenia Muench, and today we’re diving into the messy line between love, obsession, and self-destruction with author and speaker Stephen Paul Edwards. Together, we unpack toxic attraction, attachment wounds, and why so many smart, self-aware people mistake intensity for intimacy and keep returning to relationships that hurt them. This episode is raw, provocative, and might completely change the way you see your past relationships. Key Topics Covered: * Why we're drawn to toxic and chaotic relationships — the psychological and neurological forces pulling us toward people who are bad for us * Why leaving is so hard — what keeps smart, capable people stuck in relationships they know are destroying them * How trauma and attachment styles shape who we choose — the childhood wounds quietly running your love life * Can intense, passionate relationships become stable and healthy? — the honest answer * Warning signs you're in a Venus Fly Trap relationship — and what it feels like when you're the fly * What Stephen learned about love, boundaries, and self-awareness — the hard-won insights from living through it “Trauma bonding is very powerful, that people are not even aware when it's happening.” - Stephen Paul Edwards About Our Guest: Stephen Paul Edwards Stephen Paul Edwards is the author of The Venus Fly Trap: Sex, Lies, and Repercussions, a memoir that dives into obsession, betrayal, and destructive passion with sharp honesty, dark humor, and emotional depth. Often described as part Fifty Shades, part Gone Girl, and part therapy session with the devil, the book explores the psychology of erotic obsession, toxic attraction, and the painful process of reclaiming yourself from a relationship built to consume you. Who This Episode Is For You If: * You’ve stayed in a relationship you knew was wrong, but couldn’t leave * You’re repeatedly drawn to unavailable or chaotic partners * You’ve mistaken intensity for love and suffered because of it * You want to understand the psychology behind toxic attraction and trauma bonds * You’re ready for an honest conversation about the darker side of love and desire Connect with Dr. Stephen Paul Edwards: Website: https://vft23.com/ [https://vft23.com/]  TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@vft23_official [https://www.tiktok.com/@vft23_official?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc] LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/seemiracles/ [https://www.linkedin.com/in/seemiracles/]  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61575468609762 [https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61575468609762]  X: https://x.com/vftofficial23?s=21 [https://x.com/vftofficial23?s=21]  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/stephen_sapereaude/ [https://www.instagram.com/stephen_sapereaude/]   Free Resources From Dr. Stephen Paul Edwards:  First three chapters of his book, The Venus Fly Trap: https://bit.ly/4bsLZ7J [https://bit.ly/4bsLZ7J]  Exclusive coaching discount for listeners of the show: Coaching and Counseling https://vft23.com/coaching-and-counselling/?utm_source=Ksenia+Muench&utm_medium=Uncoupled+%26+Unfiltered&utm_campaign=Podcast+Interview+-++Ksenia+Muench [https://vft23.com/coaching-and-counselling/?utm_source=Ksenia+Muench&utm_medium=Uncoupled+%26+Unfiltered&utm_campaign=Podcast+Interview+-++Ksenia+Muench] Discount Code: VFT23! Connect with Ksenia Muench: Website: https://www.thriveagaindivorcecoaching.com/https://www.thriveagaindivorcecoaching.com/ [https://www.thriveagaindivorcecoaching.com/]  Website: https://www.highconflictplaybook.com/ [https://www.highconflictplaybook.com/]   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thriveagaindivorcecoaching/https://www.instagram.com/thriveagaindivorcecoaching/ [https://www.instagram.com/thriveagaindivorcecoaching/]  LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kvmuench/https://www.linkedin.com/in/kvmuench/ [https://www.linkedin.com/in/kvmuench/]  Substack: https://substack.com/@thriveagaindc [https://substack.com/@thriveagaindc]  Email: ksenia@thriveagaindivorcecoaching.com  🎧 Listen, Subscribe & Share Follow Uncoupled and Unfiltered on Spotify, Prime, and Apple Podcasts for weekly conversations about divorce, relationships, dating, and self-discovery. If this episode resonated, please rate, review, and share to help others find the show. Get more info and sign up for the June 1 cohort here- https://www.highconflictplaybook.com/ [https://www.highconflictplaybook.com/]

From Mom to Multi-Million Dollar CEO

When your marriage implodes, and the kids leave home, do you spiral or build something bigger than the life you just lost? In this episode, a multi‑exit CEO and mom of four breaks down how entrepreneurship can become your lifeline, your power move, and your path to seven‑figure freedom after divorce. In this episode, I sit down with Beth Mazza, co-founder of Female Mavericks, a powerhouse community dedicated to helping women launch and scale thriving businesses—without sacrificing their roles as parents, partners, and whole humans. We dive into what it truly takes to be a female entrepreneur today: navigating the realities of motherhood while building a business, redefining success on your own terms, and embracing the empowerment and healing that can come from starting over—especially after divorce. Beth shares practical insights and honest reflections on building a sustainable, scalable company while creating a life that feels aligned, fulfilling, and fully your own. Key Topics Covered: * Overcoming fear and self-doubt to confidently launch your own business * Why confident women entrepreneurs often outperform their male counterparts—and the mindset shift that makes the difference * How building a business can make you a stronger, more intentional mom—and the powerful life lessons your children learn by watching you lead * The real challenges of balancing entrepreneurship and motherhood (and how to navigate them) * How starting a business can become a powerful antidote to depression during and after divorce * The 9–5 corporate path vs. entrepreneurship—and the mental and emotional benefits of building your own venture during divorce recovery * The three biggest mistakes that keep women-owned businesses small—and what it takes to break into the multi-million-dollar range * Why separating personal and business finances is essential for growth, clarity, and long-term success * The one thing you absolutely must understand to build a thriving, sustainable business “You’re only able to become an entrepreneur if you have hope, if you have a dream. You're aspiring, you can do it." - Beth Mazza About Our Guest: Beth Mazza Beth Mazza is a seasoned entrepreneur, speaker, and co-founder of Female Mavericks, a community that helps women build scalable businesses while balancing motherhood and life. With over 30 years of experience, she has founded and exited multiple companies worth tens of millions and has helped women break the seven-figure ceiling. Beth has advised leading brands and has been featured in publications like Forbes and Crain’s 40 Under 40. Her work focuses on empowering women to embrace entrepreneurship, build confidence, and achieve financial freedom through business ownership. Who This Episode Is For: * Women who want to start or scale a business but feel held back by fear, self-doubt, or uncertainty * Moms and professionals seeking a way to build financial independence without sacrificing family life * Women navigating divorce or major life transitions who are ready to reclaim confidence and purpose * Female entrepreneurs who are ready to think bigger, break past revenue plateaus, and build lasting wealth Connect with Beth Mazza: Website: https://www.brauerlawcorp.com/ https://femalemavericks.com/ [https://femalemavericks.com/]  Connect with Ksenia Muench: Website: https://www.thriveagaindivorcecoaching.com/https://www.thriveagaindivorcecoaching.com/ [https://www.thriveagaindivorcecoaching.com/]  Website: https://www.highconflictplaybook.com/ [https://www.highconflictplaybook.com/]   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thriveagaindivorcecoaching/https://www.instagram.com/thriveagaindivorcecoaching/ [https://www.instagram.com/thriveagaindivorcecoaching/]  LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kvmuench/https://www.linkedin.com/in/kvmuench/ [https://www.linkedin.com/in/kvmuench/]  Substack: https://substack.com/@thriveagaindc [https://substack.com/@thriveagaindc]  Email: ksenia@thriveagaindivorcecoaching.com  🎧 Listen, Subscribe & Share Follow Uncoupled and Unfiltered on Spotify, Prime, and Apple Podcasts for weekly conversations about divorce, relationships, dating, and self-discovery. If this episode resonated, please rate, review, and share to help others find the show. Get more info and sign up for the June 1 cohort here- https://www.highconflictplaybook.com/ [https://www.highconflictplaybook.com/]

Why High-Performing Women Can Be Disasters in Relationships

When you’re a high-performing, hyper-independent woman, the same traits that drive success can quietly sabotage your relationships. In this episode, we unpack why strong women end up in unhealthy dynamics, ignore red flags, and struggle with trust and boundaries — and how to finally choose healthier love. On this episode of Uncoupled and Unfiltered, I’m joined by Dr. Abby Medcalf — psychologist, bestselling author, speaker, and podcast host known for helping people communicate honestly and stop avoiding hard conversations. We dive into why smart, successful women often struggle in relationships, including how they end up in toxic or third-party situations, what drives those patterns, and how to break them. We also discuss: * What men need vs. what women want * Red flags we mistake for green flags * Boundaries that actually work Honest, uncomfortable, and necessary — this episode is for anyone thriving in life but stuck in love. Key Topics Covered: * Why intelligent, beautiful, successful women can still struggle in relationships, is it biology, mindset, or both? * The paradox of the “strong, independent woman” who says she wants a partner but doesn’t need one. * Why high-achieving women end up in third-party situations and the patterns and rationalizations behind it. * The conscious and subconscious signals that attract the same type of partner over and over. * Boundaries vs. walls and why weak boundaries don’t work. * Red flags that initially look like green flags. * How to approach first dates with curiosity instead of resentment. * Why skipping drinks on a first date may actually help you connect better. * How to fix your “picker” and rebuild trust in yourself.  “Boundaries are meant to keep people in, and walls are meant to keep people out.” - Dr. Abby Medcalf About Our Guest: Dr. Abby Medcalf Dr. Abby Medcalf is a relationship psychologist, bestselling author, TEDx speaker, and podcast host with over 30 years of experience helping people build healthier relationships and communicate with confidence. Known for her research-backed insights, humor, and direct approach, she is the author of the #1 Amazon bestseller Be Happily Married, Even if Your Partner Won’t Do a Thing, and host of the top-rated Relationships Made Easy podcast, heard by millions across 180+ countries. Featured on CBS and ABC and trusted by companies like Google, Apple, and AT&T, Abby focuses on practical tools for communication, healthy boundaries, and lasting connections, starting with the relationship you have with yourself. Who This Episode Is For: * The woman who can run a boardroom or business but struggles in her love life. * The 10/10 who keeps asking, “How did I end up here again?” * The strong, independent woman who believes she doesn’t need a man. * The woman who keeps attracting emotionally unavailable men and calling it chemistry. * The one who says she has boundaries, but never enforces them. * The woman was tired of being the secret, the almost, or the maybe. * The high-achiever who succeeds everywhere except in choosing the right partner. Connect with Dr. Abby Medcalf: Website: https://www.brauerlawcorp.com/ https://abbymedcalf.com/ [https://abbymedcalf.com/]  Substack: https://substack.com/@abbymedcalfphd [https://substack.com/@abbymedcalfphd]  YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/AbbyMedcalfThriving [https://www.youtube.com/c/AbbyMedcalfThriving]  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/abbymedcalfthriving/ [https://www.instagram.com/abbymedcalfthriving/]  LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/abbymedcalfthriving/ [https://www.linkedin.com/in/abbymedcalfthriving/]  TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@abbymedcalfphd [https://www.tiktok.com/@abbymedcalfphd]  Connect with Ksenia Muench: Website: https://www.thriveagaindivorcecoaching.com/https://www.thriveagaindivorcecoaching.com/ [https://www.thriveagaindivorcecoaching.com/]  Website: https://www.highconflictplaybook.com/ [https://www.highconflictplaybook.com/]   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thriveagaindivorcecoaching/https://www.instagram.com/thriveagaindivorcecoaching/ [https://www.instagram.com/thriveagaindivorcecoaching/]  LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kvmuench/https://www.linkedin.com/in/kvmuench/ [https://www.linkedin.com/in/kvmuench/]  Substack: https://substack.com/@thriveagaindc [https://substack.com/@thriveagaindc]  Email: ksenia@thriveagaindivorcecoaching.com  🎧 Listen, Subscribe & Share Follow Uncoupled and Unfiltered on Spotify, Prime, and Apple Podcasts for weekly conversations about divorce, relationships, dating, and self-discovery. If this episode resonated, please rate, review, and share to help others find the show. Get more info and sign up for the June 1 cohort here- https://www.highconflictplaybook.com/ [https://www.highconflictplaybook.com/]

Redefining Success: Love, Sex, and Life After Divorce

When divorce blows up the life you were told to want, what comes next? In this episode, we dig into redefining success, navigating post-divorce dating, and rewriting the rules of what women owe to marriage, men, and themselves. On this episode of Uncoupled and Unfiltered, we explore what success really means for women—especially after divorce. Is it being a great partner, building a successful career, making good money, or something deeper? I’m joined by Cindy DiTiberio, New York Times bestselling ghostwriter, editor, writer, and creator of the bestselling Substack newsletter The Mother Lode, to redefine success beyond relationships and traditional career milestones. Together, we unpack the emotional ups and downs after divorce, navigating dating and sex, reclaiming identity, and deciding what’s truly worth prioritizing when moving on. This candid conversation challenges old narratives and offers a more honest definition of success for women choosing themselves. Key Topics Covered: * The Traditional Definition of Success: How society’s male-centered framework has shaped our ideas of achievement—and why it often fails women. * Redefining Success for Women: Moving beyond relationships, careers, and prescribed roles to create a more authentic, self-defined measure of fulfillment. * Success in Dating After Divorce: What “winning” actually looks like when dating in midlife—and how to date like the CEO rather than an intern. * Casual Sex After Divorce: Empowering choice or emotional landmine? An honest conversation about desire, boundaries, and self-awareness. * The Uncomfortable Truth About Life After Divorce: What many women aren’t told—and why facing it head-on can be the key to real growth and freedom. “We spend our most healthiest, like vibrant years, toiling away to compile these piles that, ultimately, sometimes we don't even need.” - Cindy DiTiberio About Our Guest: Cindy DiTiberio Cindy DiTiberio is a New York Times bestselling ghostwriter, editor, writer, and creator of the bestselling Substack newsletter The Mother Lode, where she dives into motherhood, marriage, divorce, and personal reinvention with real talk and feminist clarity.  Whether she’s championing stories that make us feel less alone or exploring what it really takes to reclaim joy and identity after major life shifts, Cindy brings sharp insight, vulnerability, and heart to every conversation.  Who This Episode Is For: * A woman navigating life after divorce and questioning what success really looks like now. * Dating again and trying to make sense of modern dating, sex, and emotional boundaries. * Feeling disconnected from traditional milestones like marriage, career status, or income—and ready to define success on your own terms. * Curious about reinventing identity, confidence, and fulfillment outside of relationships and societal expectations. Connect with Cindy DiTiberio: Website: https://www.brauerlawcorp.com/https://cindyditiberio.com/ [https://cindyditiberio.com/] Substack: https://cindyditiberio.substack.com/ [https://cindyditiberio.substack.com/]  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cindy.ditiberio/ [https://www.instagram.com/cindy.ditiberio/]  Connect with Ksenia Muench: Website: https://www.thriveagaindivorcecoaching.com/https://www.thriveagaindivorcecoaching.com/ [https://www.thriveagaindivorcecoaching.com/]  Website: https://www.highconflictplaybook.com/ [https://www.highconflictplaybook.com/]   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thriveagaindivorcecoaching/https://www.instagram.com/thriveagaindivorcecoaching/ [https://www.instagram.com/thriveagaindivorcecoaching/]  LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kvmuench/https://www.linkedin.com/in/kvmuench/ [https://www.linkedin.com/in/kvmuench/]  Substack: https://substack.com/@thriveagaindc [https://substack.com/@thriveagaindc]  Email: ksenia@thriveagaindivorcecoaching.com  🎧 Listen, Subscribe & Share Follow Uncoupled and Unfiltered on Spotify, Prime, and Apple Podcasts for weekly conversations about divorce, relationships, dating, and self-discovery. If this episode resonated, please rate, review, and share to help others find the show. Get more info and sign up for the June 1 cohort here- https://www.highconflictplaybook.com/ [https://www.highconflictplaybook.com/]

RomConned and Red Flags: How to Date Smart and Stay Safe

When betrayal shatters your trust in others and in yourself, how do you ever feel safe dating again? In this episode, we unpack romance cons, toxic relationships, and the subtle red flags your nervous system notices long before your mind does—so you can date smarter, not scared. Today on Uncoupled & Unfiltered, I’m honored to be joined by Laurel House — Dating, Relationship, and Behavioral Dynamics Expert, and the creator and co-host of RomConned, a YouTube and podcast series she hosts with criminologist Dr. Alex del Carmen that explores the psychology of romance scams, relational deception, and the path to recovery when trust has been broken. In this episode, we dive into relationships, divorces, dating, and the red flags we often miss — and why. Laurel also shares how to use your love life experiences as a form of data collection, teaching you to read your body’s signals so you can build healthier, more authentic relationships. Key Topics Covered: * What RomConned is and why romance scams are more common than most people realize * The differences between toxic relationships, abusive relationships, and romance cons * Why we often miss the “obvious” warning signs — and why it’s important not to judge yourself when you do * How your body sends signals to alert you when something feels off * Staying safe while dating * Four key criteria to recognize a healthy relationship * Why we end up in unhealthy dynamics — often following the heart and hormones instead of the head — and how to change that pattern * Dating and building relationships from a place of emotional health About Our Guest: Laurel House Laurel House is an internationally recognized dating, relationship, and behavioral dynamics expert with over 15 years of experience helping people build authentic, healthy connections. She is a relationship expert for eharmony and has appeared on major media outlets, including Good Morning America, The Today Show, Nightline, and E! News, as well as serving as a dating coach on E!’s Famously Single.  Laurel is the creator and co-host of RomConned, a series that explores romance scams, relational deception, and recovery, and she’s a 5× published author known for her practical, no‑games approach to dating and relationships. Her work focuses on helping people recognize unhealthy patterns, communicate with clarity, and cultivate connections grounded in mutual respect and self‑awareness. Who This Episode Is For: * Anyone navigating dating, breakups, or relationships, and wanting to recognize red flags early * People who want to understand the differences between toxic, abusive, and manipulative dynamics * Survivors of romance scams or relational deception looking to rebuild trust and confidence * Listeners are curious about how to read their body’s signals and make empowered relationship choices * Anyone who wants practical, expert strategies for building healthy, authentic, and mutually respectful connections * Those ready to break unhealthy patterns and date from a place of emotional clarity and strength “Attachment without emotional safety is where you're in danger. That is commitment without regulation. It's presence without psychological availability, and it can create major psychological harm.” - Laurel House Connect with Laurel House: Website: https://www.brauerlawcorp.com/ https://www.romconned.com/ [https://www.romconned.com/]  Connect with Ksenia Muench: Website: https://www.thriveagaindivorcecoaching.com/https://www.thriveagaindivorcecoaching.com/ [https://www.thriveagaindivorcecoaching.com/]  Website: https://www.highconflictplaybook.com/ [https://www.highconflictplaybook.com/]   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thriveagaindivorcecoaching/https://www.instagram.com/thriveagaindivorcecoaching/ [https://www.instagram.com/thriveagaindivorcecoaching/]  LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kvmuench/https://www.linkedin.com/in/kvmuench/ [https://www.linkedin.com/in/kvmuench/]  Substack: https://substack.com/@thriveagaindc [https://substack.com/@thriveagaindc]  Email: ksenia@thriveagaindivorcecoaching.com  🎧 Listen, Subscribe & Share Follow Uncoupled and Unfiltered on Spotify, Prime, and Apple Podcasts for weekly conversations about divorce, relationships, dating, and self-discovery. If this episode resonated, please rate, review, and share to help others find the show. Get more info and sign up for the June 1 cohort here- https://www.highconflictplaybook.com/ [https://www.highconflictplaybook.com/]