119 - Midlife: Crisis Point or Check Point?

119 - Midlife: Crisis Point or Check Point?

Annaliese and Alan talk about what it feels (and what it takes!) to approach the midlife experience. Midlife confronts us with the quality of the life we’ve been living and pursuing. You’ll hear about the stereotypes that can feel real, but there are bigger invitations and growth that hide underneath the changes that midlife brings with it. You’ll Hear About: -Midlife reveals the gaps. There are ways you’re used to being or acting or feeling that have just seemed normal, but when you begin to experience that midlife point you might be realizing “Oh wow, I can’t just skip or hack or ignore this anymore.” You’ll realize you need to establish a brand new set of skills or gain new tools. You might not feel as capable, and notice that you’ll probably need to practice acceptance more than you ever have before. -Midlife brings change with it. Both internally and externally, . It can feel like the ground is shifting under your feet, because life begins to feel less steady and certain, and you’ll either blame the changes on your circumstances or age or you’ll face and identify what you actually want to begin focusing on and valuing in your life. Your Free Coaching Call: -Have a coaching session with Annaliese for yourself! Visit www.linktree.com/coachannaliese to schedule your FREE, 1-hour Discovery Chat. Share your own story thoughts and Annaliese will help you gain useful tips and perspective to see what you already have in your hands to make real changes in your life.   Resources: CORE VALUES Wake Your Dream Podcast Episodes to Anchor You in Midlife: 41: Core Values Part 1: Bring Yourself More Joy https://wakeyourdream.podbean.com/e/41-core-values-part-1-bring-yourself-more-joy/ [https://wakeyourdream.podbean.com/e/41-core-values-part-1-bring-yourself-more-joy/] 42: Core Values Part 1: Bring Yourself More Direction https://wakeyourdream.podbean.com/e/42-core-values-part-2-bring-yourself-more-direction/ [https://wakeyourdream.podbean.com/e/42-core-values-part-2-bring-yourself-more-direction/] MIDLIFE REFLECTION QUESTIONS: Midlife brings unavoidable changes and a perspective change about reality. When we’re going through this time, we need to develop new awareness of ourselves and a better understanding of what we’re now needing to wrestle with in this season. When I feel the crisis in what I’m experiencing and noticing… will I give myself the chance to use it as a checkpoint to show me where I need to switch gears, learn a new perspective, or drop a “normal” routine that’s just not serving me? Let’s equip ourselves with curiosity, openness, and recognition of your core values, so you can find better and more supportive ways to handle our new struggles and discomfort and questions with empowerment and willingness to grow. Midlife points out gaps. It’s showing me what I’m used to relying on to bring me comfort or success in my routine or in my personality. And when our outer world changes in ways we can’t avoid or control, it’s important to have solid anchor points and understanding we’re building in our inner world that we can go to to give us the stability and consistency we need as we navigate life’s unavoidable changes.   Question 1: When you think about the routines, roles, or strengths you've leaned on most heavily — which ones are you clinging to out of habit or fear rather than because they're actually still working for you?   Question 2: If your inner world (emotions, beliefs, spirituality, identity, etc.) had to lead you right now — without the external structures of routines, relationships, or accomplishments that usually hold you up — what would you discover about what's genuinely solid for you versus what's been just masks or defenses or performance to meet expectations you don’t truly value?   Question 3: What's one thing your midlife experience seems to keep nudging you to accept about yourself that you've been quietly dismissing as "not really me" — and what might it mean that it keeps showing up anyway? Midlife brings change with it. Life’s changes will come to us, in this season, in a way that we can’t avoid. This can trigger fears and anger and a lot of discomfort inside us. Notice where you might be trying to distract yourself Midlife is an experiential reminder that life will continue to be out of your control and it will continue to be something you need to navigate. So this is a check point that you can still learn and expand into new and more supportive ways to do life.   Question 4: When discomfort, fear, or anger shows up around a change you didn't choose, what's your most instinctive go-to for escaping or handling it — and what might that default reaction be costing you in terms of real growth?   Question 5: If you were to treat this season of change as a curriculum designed specifically for you, what would the recurring themes suggest you most benefit from learning or finally facing and addressing or accepting?   Question 6: Where in your life right now are you spending the most energy trying to control or resist what's already shifting — and what might it feel like to get genuinely curious and more open-handed to engage with that change instead of fighting it?

118 - Surprising Evidence You Are Making Progress

Annaliese and Alan talk about how to look for surprising evidence that you're making progress when you're on the long road of growth. Staying encouraged on the road to your goals isn't always easy — especially when progress feels slow, repetitive, or just plain invisible. Listen in to learn how to recognize your real progress, even when it doesn't look or feel the way you'd expect. You'll Hear About: * Reframing what growth actually looks like — Personal growth and lasting change take time and consistent effort. The inputs you're putting into your journey matter just as much as the outcomes, and learning to count those choices is a game-changer for staying motivated. * Expanding what counts as evidence of progress — Your brain is wired to look for external results and feel-good wins. But real momentum toward a new goal often shows up in the mundane and repetitive — and learning to collect that kind of positive evidence will take you further than waiting for the big breakthrough. * Using your starting point as a tool — Reminding yourself where you came from is one of the most practical things you can do. You were already repeating patterns before — they just weren't getting you anywhere. Now your small, consistent steps are actually building something. Your Free Coaching Call: Ready to make real changes? Schedule your FREE one-hour Discovery Chat with Annaliese at www.linktree.com/coachannaliese [http://www.linktree.com/coachannaliese] — share your story and walk away with tools you can actually use. Practice: THE SURPRISING LITTLE WINS YOU GAIN BEFORE THE BIG WINS: Because growth takes time and doesn't happen overnight, it's important to start counting all the evidence that you're moving in the right direction. This evidence most often shows up as a deeper sense of alignment and peace inside you — stay tuned into that, because the difficulty along the way won't always feel like you're making progress, but it's exactly the proof you need. 1. Feeling uncomfortable, messy, or sometimes risky When you change things you'd normally do, it will be uncomfortable. Use that discomfort as information — notice when these feelings show up alongside the new, challenging steps you're taking toward your goal. That's not a red flag; that's a signal. 2. Repeating the same steps over and over without seeing much impact The willingness to take small steps, again and again, is what eventually gets you there. It's hard to remember in the middle of it, but that repetition is quietly building resilience, dedication, and discipline — possibly things you didn't know you had until now. Count that hard-won progress and name what you're gaining by staying the course. 3. Only being able to focus on one thing at a time This one can be tough, especially if you pride yourself on multitasking. But growth work requires focused, quality energy directed toward one challenge or step at a time. Committing to one thing actually increases your capacity and makes your effort stronger and more effective. 4. Having less energy This can be a sign that you're spending energy in ways you're not used to — on the emotional weight of the journey, on keeping your attention where you consciously choose, on the repetition of small steps. Less energy can actually show you your dedication level and remind you that you're moving, even when it doesn't feel that way. And you can do a lot more with a little energy than you might think.

117 - Becoming More Patient

Annaliese and Alan talk about a more approachable way to become more patient. Patience is necessary in life, but it can be difficult to build that skill because our “normal” or comfort zone is designed around avoiding discomfort and uncertainty around waiting. You'll learn that patience isn’t something overly virtuous that only certain people can do - it’s a muscle that everyone has, including you, and exercising it in small ways will expand your own confidence and your joy in life! You'll Hear About: * Patience is a muscle — not a personality trait only some people are born with. It's a skill you build by choosing, in real moments, to tolerate the discomfort of waiting and uncertainty. There's no perfect patience, just the small choices you keep making. * When we stop practicing patience, life starts to feel smaller — it gets harder to slow down, reflect, grow relationships, or show up the way we actually want to. * Building patience in the little everyday moments (traffic, hard conversations, long lines) creates real resilience, confidence, and joy over time. Your Free Coaching Call: Ready to work on this in your own life? Visit www.linktree.com/coachannaliese [http://www.linktree.com/coachannaliese] to schedule your FREE 1-hour Discovery Chat with Annaliese — and walk away with real, actionable steps for your life. Practices: Understanding How & Why to Practice Patience: 1. Patience is a muscle — strengthening it expands your capacity and your choices in life. 2. Patience builds confidence — because it grows your own resilience, resourcefulness, and discernment. 3. Patience builds discipline — because you begin to own that choosing the hard thing now leads to a better outcome later. 4. Patience builds desire — because the more you practice, the more you open yourself up to joy and possibility. Simple Patience Practices: * Any moment counts — help yourself take things slow and small by just noticing you can shift from autopilot to present, wherever you are (grocery store lines, traffic, hard conversations, etc!). * Surf the Urge — when you feel an urge, reaction, or craving rising, picture that energy as a wave forming inside you. Notice what you're experiencing — name the sensations in your body, and really see yourself in what you're going through. As the emotion moves through you, talk yourself through it: ride out the intensity while reminding yourself the crest is coming, and that you can get through it because you know there's a better way you want to show up. If it helps, trace the rise and fall of that wave on your arm or shirtsleeve as you feel it happening — letting the energy move through your body as you ride it out until it winds down.

116 - Are Selfishness Or Selflessness My Only Options?

Annaliese and Alan unpack how the fear of “being selfish” can quietly keep you stuck, overextended, or disconnected from your own needs. They'll talk you through rethinking what selfishness actually means so you can stop letting guilt or limiting beliefs drive your choices. Instead of living anxiously trying to avoid being selfish, you’ll learn how to grow a more grounded sense of selfhood (believing you matter too!), as you set yourself up with healthier decisions, stronger boundaries, and willingness to show up with mutual care for yourself and others. You’ll Hear About: * Rethinking selfishness: Worrying about becoming selfish can block growth and change you can tell you need. If your current way of living feels draining or limiting, ask yourself—where is your definition of selfishness possibly holding you back from choosing what you need? * Noticing imbalance: The way you view yourself is shaping how you live. Are you usually over-prioritizing others or only focusing on yourself? Growing your self-awareness helps you spot your default pattern, see how you're getting in your own way, and grow into the kind of person you truly want to be. * Choosing selfhood on purpose: If you don’t redefine selfishness intentionally, you'll probably default to minimizing your needs until you feel burned out on your own life. You can find a healthier way by practicing small, meaningful steps toward honoring and supporting yourself while letting go of guilt. What would it look like to build real selfhood instead of just avoiding being “selfish”? Your Free Coaching Call: Ready for personalized support? Visit www.linktree.com/coachannaliese [http://www.linktree.com/coachannaliese] to book your free 1-hour Discovery Chat and take your next step forward: SELFISH - SELFLESS - SELFHOOD Comparison Chart SELFISH SELFHOOD SELFLESS My wants and needs always come first. Stating my needs helps me forge healthy relationships. My wants and needs don't matter. I pursue what I want - no matter who gets hurt. Develop my God-given talents in a mindful way is one of my most important responsibilities. I bury my talents - even when it hurts me. I only advocate for my own needs. I don't defer to others.  I consider my own needs and the needs of others, even when it's challenging. I never state my needs. I pretty much always defer to others. In my relationship with God and others, I'm mainly thinking, "How can I get what I want here?" I practice giving and receiving with God, others, and myself.  I work hard for God and others - I don't know how to receive. QUIZ: AM I AVOIDING SELFISHNESS OR BUILDING SELFHOOD? Selfhood, not selflessness, is the antidote when you don’t want to end up becoming selfish. It’s the practice of beginning to view and treat yourself and others as mutually worth prioritizing and supporting. Answer each of the following questions honestly about how you tend to show up in relationships or situations in your life right now. Your goal isn’t judgement, it’s to build awareness first, then be able to build a healthier perspective, one small experiment at a time. (A’s are in the Selfish category - B’s are in the Selfhood category - C’s are in the Selflessness category)  1. When a decision affects both you and someone else, what happens first? A. I decide based on what I want, and factor them in (or not) afterward. B. I notice what I want, then what they might need, and make a choice weighing both. C. I immediately default to what they’d prefer, before I check in with myself (if I even do). 2. When someone offers you care, support, or a compliment, what do you do? A. I accept it with some feelings of entitlement. I expect people to show up when I need it. B. I receive it with gratitude. I both appreciate that others gave to me, and feel worthy of receiving kindness or help. C. I deflect, minimize, or immediately try to return the favor - receiving feels very uncomfortable. 3. When you have a need or preference in a relationship, what usually happens? A. I state it and expect it to be met. It’s not really a question. B. I name it - knowing it might not be met in the way I picture - and stay open to the response. C. I either don’t say it, or apologize for even having it before I finish saying my thought. 4. After tension or a hard moment, where does your attention go first? A. To defending myself, pushing my point, or dismissing the other person and moving on. B. To understanding better what happened - for both of us. C. To wondering what I did wrong and trying to fix it for them.

115 - Building A Mentality Of Self-Care

Annaliese and Alan talk about how self-care isn't just healthy practices — it's about building a holistic attitude of actually caring about yourself and how you feel and act in your life. If you shifted your attitude toward yourself, how might that open up your world? Self-care transforms who you think you are, what you think you're capable of, and what options you're able to see for yourself. YOU'LL HEAR ABOUT: * Self-care isn't just about gathering ideas for joy or ways to feel better when you're stressed, sad, or overwhelmed — it's meant to help you become more authentically yourself through any of life's highs and lows, deeply shifting your attitude toward yourself along the way. * Finding and naming your current attitude about yourself is a powerful starting point. How do you treat yourself in your day-to-day moments? Are you dismissive or harsh when you're struggling? Notice the thoughts blocking you from caring about your own experience — like "Other people need to come first" or "I should just suck it up." * Things that can shift when you build a self-care mentality: other people's moods don't have to become yours, paying attention to yourself throughout the day grows your sense of worth, and taking care of yourself in the moment builds real proof that you matter. YOUR FREE COACHING SESSION: Have your own coaching session with Annaliese! Visit www.linktree.com/coachannaliese [http://www.linktree.com/coachannaliese] to schedule your FREE 1-hour Discovery Chat. Share your story and get real, actionable tips to make meaningful changes in your life. RESOURCES & PRACTICES Here are some previous episodes on Self-Care that you can use to go even further with this topic... -Episode 51: Is Self-Care Selfish?: https://wakeyourdream.podbean.com/e/51-is-self-care-selfish/ [https://wakeyourdream.podbean.com/e/51-is-self-care-selfish/] -Episode 49: Your Own Version Of Self-Care: https://wakeyourdream.podbean.com/e/49-your-own-version-of-self-care/ [https://wakeyourdream.podbean.com/e/49-your-own-version-of-self-care/] -Episode 12: Emotional Self-Care To Take Control Of Your Day: https://wakeyourdream.podbean.com/e/12-emotional-self-care-to-take-control-of-your-day/ [https://wakeyourdream.podbean.com/e/12-emotional-self-care-to-take-control-of-your-day/]   Questions To Build A Relationship With Yourself: * How am I treating myself right now? * How am I doing right now? * What do I need more of right now? * How can I help myself right now? * What would I tell a close friend about this right now? Practicing An Attitude of Self-Care: 1. Give yourself permission — Notice where you're ruling yourself out. No one else gives you permission to care for and support yourself — only you can do that. You get to factor into your own decisions, and you deserve the freedom to choose what you need. 2. Ask yourself each day: "Have I looked my way today?" — When you practice being generous and compassionate with yourself, it becomes easier to offer that to others too. Checking in with yourself throughout the day is a key building block of feeling more connected and stable inside.