Why She Stayed

Ep. 82: Facing Pain Head-On: The Only Way Is Through

In this powerful episode, I sit down with Kia Lee, author and survivor, as she shares her journey through domestic abuse and cancer—and what it means to keep creating hope while still living in the unknown. Kia opens up about the loneliness of clarity: that isolating moment when you see the truth of your situation before anyone else does. We talk about how life doesn’t pause for your pain- how the world keeps moving even when your own world feels like it has come to a complete stop. Together, we explore the power of discernment—learning to trust your inner knowing when circumstances, people, or even professionals cause you to doubt yourself. Kia speaks candidly about the necessity of facing pain head-on rather than avoiding it, and how doing so became a turning point in her healing. In this episode, we discuss: * Living with clarity that others may not understand * The grief of watching the world move on while you’re standing still * Developing discernment and trusting your inner voice * Why facing pain directly is essential to healing * Domestic abuse, survival, and reclaiming your sense of self * Medical gaslighting and the importance of advocating for yourself * Creating hope while still in the unknown Sponsor Links: Aimee Says: an AI Support That Understands Abuse - and Helps You Prove It. https://www.aimeesays.com/en/home Get a free month's subscription with the code: WhySheStayed Guest Links: IG Handle @LighthouseSurvivor IG Handle 2: @namastenyc8 https://kia-lee.com/ Kia's part 1 episode: https://open.spotify.com/episode/2JwLe9pb9v3iU9gGGIvpjM?si=nraSVP5sQ5WicSq8sejilw ---------------------------------------- Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy [https://acast.com/privacy] for more information.

Ep. 81: When They Make You the Villain: Controlling the Narrative

In this episode, we talk about how control can show up through image-management and blame. We discuss how the abuser consistently positioned his wife as “the problem,” convincing others that she was the one who needed mental health help, while he would show himself as seeming reasonable, and concerned. We explore how he accused her of being unfaithful despite a lack of truth behind those claims, and how this accusation became part of a larger pattern of control. He frequently used statements like “this isn’t what a wife does” whenever she spent money, went out with friends, or did anything that didn’t center him- using shame and rigid expectations to limit her independence. The episode also covers how he insisted she change her last name right away and start a family as soon as possible. We discuss how these demands functioned as “tests” of loyalty and commitment, rather than mutual decisions. Finally, we talk about how, when the relationship ended, he attempted to control the narrative by claiming he was the one leaving and framing her as unfaithful. We unpack how this was less about the truth and more about protecting his image and avoiding accountability. This episode highlights how abuse is rooted in manipulation, narrative control, and the slow erosion of someone’s sense of self. Guest details private for now. ---------------------------------------- Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy [https://acast.com/privacy] for more information.

Ep. 80: When The Unknown Feels Scarier & The Courage To Leave What You Know | with Stephanie Strickland

In this deeply honest episode, I sit down with abuse survivor and author Stephanie Strickland, whose new book Finding Peace Within shares her journey of survival, self-discovery, and healing. Stephanie opens up about how her abuser convinced her that she was the cause of the abuse—leading her to believe that if she could just be more perfect, more careful, or do everything “right,” the conflict would stop. She describes the exhausting cycle of walking on eggshells, constantly trying to manage another person’s emotions in order to stay safe. We talk about the painful pattern so many survivors recognize: periods that felt like a fairytale—full of hope, love, and promises—followed by moments when the darkness slowly crept back in. Not all at once, but subtly enough to make her question her own reality and hold onto hope that things would change again. One of the most profound parts of our conversation centers on fear of the unknown. Stephanie shares how there was a time when the unknown felt so terrifying that she believed she would rather die than leave. Staying in the abuse felt familiar—even if it was devastating—while stepping into uncertainty felt unbearable. Stephanie's Links: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/iamsdstrickland?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet&igsh=ZDNlZDc0MzIxNw== Website: https://www.stephaniedstrickland.com/ Book: https://www.stephaniedstrickland.com/my-books ---------------------------------------- Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy [https://acast.com/privacy] for more information.

Ep. 79: "He Gaslit Me So Sweetly"

In this survivor story, Tiffany opens up about the hidden layers of abuse she endured in her marriage- abuse she didn’t initially recognize. Growing up with a father who was a “standard yeller,” Tiffany assumed that abuse had to look loud and obvious. But her husband’s tactics were quieter, calculated, and far more confusing. Through gaslighting, and emotionally charged setups that left her yelling, he was able to make Tiffany feel unbalanced and “crazy,” all while maintaining a calm exterior. Tiffany shares how focusing on her husband’s drinking became a smokescreen that kept her from seeing the deeper issue: his abusive behavior and personality. We discuss how the messaging in Al-Anon (encouraging partners to examine their “control issues” and “character defects”) often reinforces an abuser’s narrative and shift responsibility onto the survivor. We also dive into how church counsel commonly misses the mark when addressing abuse. Tiffany explains how recommendations like “temporary separation” can actually aid the abusive partner by giving them a checklist to complete in order to regain access to the marriage, while the victim is framed as the one dismantling the family. This episode sheds light on the subtle, often invisible dynamics of emotional and psychological abuse- and the systems that unintentionally enable it. Tiffany’s story is a testament to the strength it takes to recognize abuse, break through confusion, and reclaim one’s reality. Guest details are private for now. ---------------------------------------- Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy [https://acast.com/privacy] for more information.

Ep. 78: Help, I Can't Define My Experience!

In this solo episode, we dive into one of the most overlooked reasons people remain stuck in abusive cycles: the inability to name what they’re experiencing. I explore how the lack of clear language- not just individually, but across society- keeps people confused, doubting themselves, and trapped far longer than they should be. We unpack the cultural habit of mislabeling harmful behavior, and how this reluctance to “call it what it is” creates conditions where abuse can thrive in plain sight. I break down why accurate terminology isn’t just semantics- but a lifeline. Together, we reframe abuse not as a spectrum where people try to measure what “counts,” but as an umbrella of behaviors rooted in the same belief system of entitlement, control, and disregard. By understanding abuse as a unified framework rather than a sliding scale, we remove the ambiguity that keeps so many people questioning their reality. Articles and writings mentioned: Maine Case: https://cbn.com/news/us/judge-orders-maine-mom-not-take-her-daughter-church-or-read-her-bible Alyssa Wiest Article: https://www.nbcphiladelphia.com/news/local/michael-dutkiewicz-guilty-of-first-degree-murder-death-girlfirend/4287021/ Ohio Article: https://nypost.com/2025/11/21/us-news/deranged-husband-kills-baby-wifes-7-year-old-and-the-boys-father-before-turning-gun-on-himself/ Black Blouse Coercive Control: https://x.com/shadows_control/status/1805945219344486824?lang=en ---------------------------------------- Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy [https://acast.com/privacy] for more information.