Making Friends: Trials, Tribulations, & Triumphs

Making Friends: Trials, Tribulations, & Triumphs

Welcome to Wilderness Edge, a podcast for people who are curious about communities on the edge of the Boundary Waters Canoe Area Wilderness. The conversations on this podcast cultivate critical thinking about a broad range of topics relevant to our region and beyond.  In this episode we discuss the trials, tribulations, and triumphs of making friends as adults – particularly as people who recently relocated to a new community.  Join me, Lacey Squier, in conversation with my friends Jess Kulik, Kelsey Lee, and Lucy Soderstrom as we talk about the experiences and resources we drew upon to host an Ely Folk School class on how to make friends.  Boundary Waters Connect -- Hello Neighbor [https://www.boundarywatersconnect.org/]  The Wilderness Edge Podcast is sponsored by Boundary Waters Connect, the economic and community development program of Northeastern Minnesotans for Wilderness. We offer programs and services for new, established, seasonal, and prospective residents to the Ely area.  Boundary Waters Connect – Making Friends [https://www.boundarywatersconnect.org/making-friends]  Check out some additional resources on the topic of making friends, particularly as adults.  Ely Folk School [https://www.elyfolkschool.org/]  Boundary Waters Connect is proud to sponsor and frequently collaborate with the Ely Folk School, which builds community by offering learning experiences that celebrate the wilderness heritage, art, history, culture, and craft of the people of northern Minnesota.  Potluck Kitchenware [https://potluckkitchenware.com/]  Potluck Kitchenware is a cooking and baking retail store, as well as the presenting sponsor of the Hello Neighbor programs and services facilitated by Boundary Waters Connect. Check out Potluck Kitchenware on the corner of Chapman Street and First Avenue in downtown Ely.  Platonic: The Science of Attachment Can Help You Make – and Keep – Friends [https://drmarisagfranco.com/platonic-the-book/] This book, written by Dr. Marissa G. Franco, was one of our favorite resources in the process of learning about and teaching a class on how to make friends.  Chapters & Timestamps:  1:39 | Introducing our guests: Kelsey Lee, Lucy Soderstrom, and Jess Kulik. 5:40 | Finding and forging bonus families. 9:31 | Why host a class on how to make friends? 10:08 | To profess the profound importance of unapologetic initiative. 13:11 | We can't do it for you. We offer tools & empowerment to be your own agent of social connection. 17:26 | We wanted to offer clarity to the process and social norms in our community. 20:47 | How do we talk more openly about what's difficult about making friends? 22:00 | What does your attachment style have to do with making friends? 25:00 | Dread is part of the process (and transitions are hard). 30:20 | It's a wonderful life -- seeing and being seen helps! 31:50 | Check out The Art of the Gathering by Priya Parker. 34:13 | Distinguish between your "work" self and your "personal" self. 39:52 | Give yourself permission to be cared for by community. 43:00 | Consider the power of propinquity & the mere exposure effect. 48:23 | Develop rejection tolerance & be friends with yourself first. 51:33 | You can only succeed if you define your friendship goals. 52:17 | Remember: this process takes time. 54:23 | Share your interests widely; our communities are full of inquisitive, eager people. 55:41 | You can have anything, but you might have to make it yourself. 57:34 | On the pros and cons of being known (and wearing your grimiest pajamas at the grocery store). 59:30 | Mind the liking gap -- you're more well liked than you think! Send us a voice message! [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2614219/fan_mail/new]

Dancing on the Edge

Let's explore the similarities and differences between the Grand Marais and Ely communities, as well as the wisdom of moving our bodies with M Baxley. M Baxley is the creative genius Bear Witness Media based out of Grand Marais. They also do media work for Paddle & Portage. Show notes:  Boundary Waters Connect [https://www.boundarywatersconnect.org/] sponsors the Wilderness Edge Podcast.  The Story of Us [https://www.boundarywatersconnect.org/bwcfilm] is a short film about about the joys and challenges of relocating and building community on the edge of the Boundary Waters. M moved from Minneapolis to Grand Marais, and Lacey moved from Saint Paul to Ely. This film explores the convergence of their stories. It is a collaboration between Boundary Waters Connect and Bear Witness Media.   Why We Live Here video series [https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLa_YZaOeEPkLo87ibbdpRBKrmcxP8cvkY&si=2nfOMOTVqzcBXx4r] is the original project that introduced Lacey and M to each other. These 4-minute videos each tell the story of an individual or couple who relocated to a town on the edge of the BWCAW -- what compelled them to move and how things are going now that they've relocated.  Bizhiki in Cook County: A Short Film [https://youtu.be/5s-Ua_5VA6E?si=1j67MT4zECOYUwsI] that captures Bizhiki’s residency in Cook County, presented by the North Shore Music Association. Bizhiki is an acclaimed contemporary Ojibwe music and storytelling ensemble that brought their multidisciplinary performance to Cook County in November 2025. The film offers an inside look at the musical artistry, cultural teachings, and the meaningful connections Bizhiki formed with local students and community members. Bear Witness Media on Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/bear_witness_media/] Cook County YMCA [https://www.ymca.org/locations/cook-county-family-ymca] Paddle & Portage [https://paddleandportage.com/2024/01/01/paddle-and-portage-a-voice-for-the-boundary-waters/] offers a unique perspective on the intersection of news, adventure, and storytelling from the Boundary Waters, as well as other paddling destinations across North America. Paddle & Portage offers online content as well as a podcast.  Send us a voice message! [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2614219/fan_mail/new]

Love of Gear & Fishing in the Boundary Waters

In this episode we’ll explore the joys and challenges of backcountry fishing, canoe camping, and hunting in the Boundary Waters Canoe Area Wilderness with Eric Glasson. Eric is an avid sportsman who is “obsessed with all things Boundary Waters, Quetico and backcountry fishing and canoe camping.” He loves to share what he has learned and teach others the glory of backcountry canoe travel, camping and fishing via his YouTube channel FarWater.   Show notes:  Boundary Waters Connect [https://www.boundarywatersconnect.org/] sponsors the Wilderness Edge Podcast. Learn more about our guest Eric Glasson by checking out FarWater [https://www.youtube.com/@therealfarwater] on YouTube, or following him on Instagram @eric_in_ely [https://www.instagram.com/eric_in_ely/].  Read more of what Eric has to say regarding awe, angling, and the boundary waters via Quetico Fishing Trip Becomes Something Much Deeper [https://paddleandportage.com/2024/08/19/quetico-fishing-trip-becomes-something-much-deeper/], published by Paddle & Portage. He also wrote The Challenges (and Joy) of Hunting Whitetail Deer in the BWCA Wilderness. [https://paddleandportage.com/2025/11/26/the-challenge-and-joy-of-hunting-whitetail-deer-in-the-bwca-wilderness/]  Ely enthusiasts may recall hearing from Eric when he was in conversation with Lacey and Taylor Ham, talking about the joys of the fishing opener holiday in Ely  when they were guests on the What's Up Ely Podcast, a project that was produced by Visit Ely. You can find that here: What's Up Ely Podcast: Open Water Fishing [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2088401/episodes/12830872?t=2979].  Chapters & Timestamps:  2:36 | What does the word 'sportsman' mean? 4:50 | "I found myself returning to the world of selling things in the outdoors." 6:29 | "As your loving wife I remember those days. We were living in Saint Paul, and..." 8:37 | "It really simplified our life to move up north." 9:57 | "You kind of live vicariously through the gear that you buy." 13:10 | Bioengineered synthetics versus natural fibers 15:42 | What does it look like to prep for a BWCA trip? 17:55 | Factors are always changing (but some things remain constant) 20:10 | Novice, not advanced? Well that's alright! 24:28 | "To shorten the learning curve that was so difficult for me." 29:25 | To keep the memories forever 32:13 | Leveling up the magnitude of challenge in the Boundary Waters 35:30 | Fishing, Foraging, Hunting: You can't shut that off 37:12 | The common thread in my life? Wilderness 40:43 | Pay attention to when you feel alive 43:21 | To go from beginner to intermediate, from intermediate to advanced 44:48 | Ely brought me to Ely 46:38 | Into the woods on a whim 50:28 | What's tough 56:34 | Keeping in shape in the Wilderness 58:06 | Boundary Waters Grand Slam: Bass, Pike, Walleye, Trout 59:30 | Fun facts about Lake Trout (or Armchair biologist) 1:04:42 | Deep dive on Pike & Walleye 1:06:36 | Landing a fish from a canoe 1:09:56 | The radiant joy and pleasure of angling Send us a voice message! [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2614219/fan_mail/new]

The Genius of Juicy Conversation

In this episode we’ll explore what makes for juicy conversation with Abby Dare and Johannah Scarlet – two exceptionally talented conversationalists. Abby is a water colorist, community facilitator, and comedian who co-owns The Meadows Gallery & Studios. Johannah (also known as Joh) works in the commercial and film industry, and moonlights as an esoteric leader and tarot reader. You’re going to want to hear what this unique triad has to say about life on the edge [of the Wilderness]!  Show notes:  Boundary Waters Connect [https://www.boundarywatersconnect.org/] sponsors the Wilderness Edge Podcast.   You can join the conversation, too! Consider enrollling in Let's Talk About Talking: Tools for Everyday Communication [https://elyfolkschool.app.neoncrm.com/nx/portal/neonevents/events?path=%2Fportal%2Fevents%2F42378], an Ely Folk School class taught by Abby Dare.   Learn more about our guest Abby Dare by visiting her personal website, Abby-Dare.com [https://www.abby-dare.com/], or the website for the art gallerty and studios she co-owns in downtown Ely, The Meadows Gallery & Studios [https://www.themeadowsely.com/]  Learn more about our guest Johannah Scarlet by visiting her personal website, Sacred Saturdaze Outpost [https://www.sacredsaturdaze.com/], or her film & commercial production website, johannahscarlet.com [https://www.johannahscarlet.com/].  Ely enthusiasts may recall hearing from Abby and Joh when they were guests on the What's Up Ely Podcast, a project that was produced by Visit Ely. You can find those epidoes here: What’s Up Ely Podcast: Facilitator, Community Builder, Comedian Abby Dare [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2088401/episodes/16143027] and What’s Up Ely Podcast: Modern Mysticism in Ely with Johannah Scarlet [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2088401/episodes/18259999].  Chapters & Timestamps:  2:33 | Introducing Abby 7:14 | Introducing Joh 12:13 | Introducing Lacey, Wilderness Edge Podcast Host 17:03 | What makes for a quality conversation? 22:58 | Start from a quiet place (and more tips for great conversation) 32:20 | Life on the edge as a philosophical experience 36:33 | "Genius" excerpt from David Whyte (abridged) 39:14 | Joh's Northstar Framework Workshop 41:28 | Living a place-based life 43:48 | Discussing our edges 49:56 | Keeping bridges open, finding common ground 55:16 | The positive power of bearing witness 59:45 | Internal edges versus external edges; going forward versus going backward 1:02:44 | The Fool -- It's ok to be a beginner! 1:05:36 | Curiosity is the core of juicy conversation Send us a voice message! [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2614219/fan_mail/new]

Trailer

Welcome to the Wilderness Edge Podcast, from Ely, Minnesota! Send us a voice message! [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2614219/fan_mail/new]