How to Build Self-Confidence as a Singer

Performance Anxiety for Singers

Last week we talked about what performance anxiety actually is — the neuroscience, the evolutionary wiring, and why nothing has gone wrong if you’re nervous. This week we get practical. If you’ve ever stood backstage running worst-case scenarios, lost access to your breath right when you needed it most, or heard that inner voice tell you you’re not ready— this episode is for you. We go tool by tool through eight specific things that actually help, why they work at the physiological level, and how to build a pre-performance plan that your nervous system can actually use when the nerves hit. These are not generic relaxation tips. They’re real tools drawn from years of performing, coaching, and learning and they’re offered here as a starting point for building a toolkit that is genuinely personal to you. In this episode, you’ll learn: * Why stopping fighting your anxiety is the foundation every other tool rests on * How to recognize the three inner voices of performance anxiety * Why “name it to tame it” is more than a catchy phrase * How to talk directly to the feeling — and why calling the voices by name changes your relationship with them * How box breathing works, why it can backfire when your heart rate is already elevated, and how to adapt it to meet your nervous system where it actually is * The physical breath technique — what it is, why it works, and why it has a specific bonus for singers * Why your pre-performance plan needs to be built before the anxiety arrives — and what to actually put in it * How acting tools and character work can help you with your performance anxiety ✨ Coming next: Season 2 of the YPP Podcast will start summer 2026 📣 Resources & Mentions * Episode 15: Performance Anxiety for Singers, Part 1: Nothing Has Gone Wrong * Episode 3: The Dreaded “F” Word (Feelings) — the backpack concept * Arneson, Christopher. “Performance Anxiety: A Twenty-First Century Perspective.” Journal of Singing 66, no. 5 (May/June 2010): 537–546. * Ruiz, Don Miguel. The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom. San Rafael, CA: Amber-Allen Publishing, 1997. * Siegel, Daniel J. Mindsight: The New Science of Personal Transformation. New York: Bantam Books, 2010. * Michelle Grosser — High Capacity Podcast (formerly Calm Mom) — highcapacitypodcast.com [http://highcapacitypodcast.com] 🔔 Subscribe & Review If this episode gave you something concrete to bring into your next performance, please share it with a singer who needs it. And if you’re enjoying the podcast, leaving a rating and review helps more singers find this work. 📲 Connect with Sarah * Instagram: @Your_Passaggi_Professor * Newsletter: sarah-neely.kit.com/d7d3234f95 [http://sarah-neely.kit.com/d7d3234f95] 🎵 Music Credit “Carpe Diem” by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com [http://incompetech.com]) Licensed under Creative Commons: Attribution 4.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/ [http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/] This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit yourpassaggiprofessor.substack.com [https://yourpassaggiprofessor.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_1]

Performance Anxiety for Singers

If you’ve ever stood in the wings with your heart pounding, hands shaking, or mind suddenly blank — and then told yourself something must be wrong with you — this episode is for you. Performance anxiety is one of the most universal experiences in a singer’s life, and one of the least openly talked about. In this first episode of a two-part series, we go back to basics: what performance anxiety actually is, what’s happening in your brain and body when it shows up, and why understanding it might be the most important first step toward managing it. This isn’t a quick-fix episode. It’s a reframe — one that I hope genuinely changes your relationship with the feeling. I share two personal stories from my own performing life (vulnerable moment), including one that quietly shaped the entire direction of my artistic path. We talk about the neuroscience of fight-or-flight, what the amygdala and prefrontal cortex are actually doing when the alarm fires, and why singers are particularly vulnerable to the physical effects of anxiety. And we end with an invitation to stop treating your nervous system like the enemy. In this episode, you’ll learn: * Why performance anxiety is not a personal flaw, a sign of unreadiness, or evidence that something has gone wrong * What the fight-or-flight response is actually doing in your body — and why your brain can’t tell the difference between a stage and a survival threat * Why performance anxiety is especially disruptive for singers * How the amygdala and prefrontal cortex work together — and what happens when the alarm system takes over * Why avoidance feels like relief but quietly reinforces the anxiety pattern over time * What the inner judge, doubter, and timid soul are — and how to recognize them in yourself * Why being impeccable with your word starts with the language you use about yourself * Why the goal is not to eliminate performance anxiety — but to stop fighting it ✨ Coming next: Performance Anxiety for Singers, Part 2: Tools for Your Nervous System — practical, specific techniques for working with your nervous system before and during performance. 📣 Resources & Mentions * Episode 14: When Everything Hits at Once (And You’re Still Standing) * Arneson, Christopher. “Performance Anxiety: A Twenty-First Century Perspective.” Journal of Singing 66, no. 5 (May/June 2010): 537–546. * Ruiz, Don Miguel. The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom. San Rafael, CA: Amber-Allen Publishing, 1997. 🔔 Subscribe & Review If this episode resonated with you, please share it with a singer in your life who needs to hear it. And if you’re enjoying the podcast, leaving a rating and review helps more singers find this work. 📲 Connect with Sarah * Instagram: @Your_Passaggi_Professor * Newsletter: sarah-neely.kit.com/d7d3234f95 [http://sarah-neely.kit.com/d7d3234f95] 🎵 Music Credit “Carpe Diem” by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com [http://incompetech.com]) Licensed under Creative Commons: Attribution 4.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/ [http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/] This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit yourpassaggiprofessor.substack.com [https://yourpassaggiprofessor.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_1]

When Everything Hits at Once:

This episode wasn’t planned. I recorded it in the middle of one of the most overwhelming stretches I’ve had in a long time — tech week for a musical, a new puppy, a concert on the horizon, and a business I’m trying not to let slip. I almost didn’t record it at all. But I think there’s something valuable about showing you what it looks like to use these tools from inside the mess, not looking back on it. I hope it resonates. What happens when everything hits at once — and your brain starts making it worse? In this episode, I’m pulling back the curtain on a genuinely hard season in my own life and walking you through how I’m using the coaching tools I teach on this podcast to get through it. Not perfectly. Not gracefully. But forward. In this episode, you’ll learn: * The difference between the actual difficulty of a hard season and the unnecessary suffering your brain adds on top of it * How to use the model in real time when guilt, shame, and resentment start showing up (with a real example from my week) * Why the thought in a model doesn’t have to be positive — it just has to be intentional * How to keep making progress when your plans fall apart, even in 10-minute increments * Why recognizing a hard season as a season changes how you move through it * The difference between coaching tools making things easy vs. making things manageable P.S. Sorry for the Sonny barks in the background. I’m in the messiness of life right now and choosing the thought that B- level podcast posted is better than waiting for the perfect conditions to record and not creating the episode. That is honestly a game changing mindset! 📲 Connect with Sarah I’d genuinely love to hear from you on this one — is this kind of episode (teaching from inside the experience) something you find valuable? Send me a DM on Instagram @your_passaggi_professor [https://www.instagram.com/yourpassaggiprofessor] or leave a comment and let me know. Download your free copy of The Singer’s Survival Guide: 5 Mindset Shifts for Life, Auditions, and Everything In Between at the link in my bio or at https://sarah-neely.kit.com/d7d3234f95https://sarah-neely.kit.com/4e1c5a7382 [https://sarah-neely.kit.com/4e1c5a7382]. 🔔 Subscribe & Review If this episode helped you, please share it with a fellow singer or creative who needs a dose of healthy self-confidence. And if you’re enjoying the podcast, leaving a rating and review is one of the best ways to help more singers find this work. 🎵 Music Credit “Carpe Diem” by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com [http://incompetech.com]) Licensed under Creative Commons: Attribution 4.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/ [http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/] This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit yourpassaggiprofessor.substack.com [https://yourpassaggiprofessor.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_1]

How to Build Self-Confidence as a Singer Pt. 2

Last week we talked about what self-confidence actually is. This week we bring it into the practice room — where confidence is either built or quietly broken every single day. If you’ve ever wondered why your technique holds up alone but falls apart under pressure, this episode is for you. Knowing what self-confidence is and actually building it are two different things. In this second episode of the series, we get practical — walking through the mindset tools that make the difference between practicing from fear and practicing from intention. From the thoughts you’re thinking before you attempt the hard thing, to the difference between technical brain, performance brain, and audience brain, to why recording yourself and reviewing it promptly might be the most underrated confidence-building habit you can develop. In this episode, you’ll learn: * Why “don’t crack the high note” is often the thought that causes the crack — and what to think instead * How your thoughts create physical sensations in your body that directly affect your singing * The difference between technical brain, performance brain, and audience brain — and why all three matter * Why practicing performance brain with the same intentionality as technique is non-negotiable * How a structured song learning process builds the kind of trust that holds up under pressure * Why reviewing a setback quickly is a confidence-building practice, not just a practice technique * Why comfort and confidence are not the same thing — and what immersion actually looks like * How to separate your sense of worth from casting decisions, and why that changes everything about how you show up ✨ Coming next: Mindset tools for performance anxiety 📣Resources & Mentions * Episode 12: How to Build Self-Confidence as a Singer (Part 1: The Foundation) * Brené Brown — The Messy Middle is messy, but it’s also where the magic happens * James Clear — Atomic Habits — atomichabits.com [https://jamesclear.com/atomic-habits] * Sarah’s Song Learning Process (resource coming soon — stay tuned!) 🔔 Subscribe & Review If this episode helped you, please share it with a fellow singer or creative who needs a dose of healthy self-confidence. And if you’re enjoying the podcast, leaving a rating and review is one of the best ways to help more singers find this work. 📲 Connect with Sarah * Instagram: @Your_Passaggi_Professor * Newsletter: sarah-neely.kit.com/d7d3234f95 [https://sarah-neely.kit.com/d7d3234f95] 🎵 Music Credit “Carpe Diem” by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com [http://incompetech.com]) Licensed under Creative Commons: Attribution 4.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/ [http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/] This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit yourpassaggiprofessor.substack.com [https://yourpassaggiprofessor.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_1]

How to Build Self-Confidence as a Singer

A note from Sarah: Early in my career, a mentor told me I didn’t have the right foundation of confidence — and I believed him for years. This episode is the one I wish I’d had back then. If you’ve ever felt like confidence was something other people were born with and you just... weren’t, this one is for you. Self-confidence isn’t a personality trait. It’s a skill — and that changes everything. In this first episode of a two-part series, Sarah breaks down what self-confidence actually is, why it’s so hard to cultivate, and what’s really going on beneath the surface when we feel like we don’t have enough of it. The practical, singer-specific tools come in Episode 13 — but this is the foundation everything else is built on. In this episode, you’ll learn: * The difference between self-esteem, self-efficacy, and self-confidence — and why the distinctions matter * Why your brain is working against your confidence (and why that’s not a character flaw) * How perfectionism and self-confidence are fundamentally incompatible * The real difference between confidence and arrogance — and why confusing the two might be keeping you stuck * Why most confidence problems are actually belief problems * How avoiding painful emotions quietly shrinks your world over time * Why your opinion of yourself doesn’t have to be earned or proven — and how to start changing it ✨ Coming next: Next week we’re deep diving into how to apply these concepts to more singer specific situations. 📣 Resources & Mentions * The Life Coach School: thelifecoachschool.com [https://thelifecoachschool.com] 🔔 Subscribe & Review If this episode helped you, please share it with a fellow singer or creative who needs a dose of healthy self-confidence. And if you’re enjoying the podcast, leaving a rating and review is one of the best ways to help more singers find this work. 📲 Connect with Sarah * Instagram: @Your_Passaggi_Professor * Newsletter: sarah-neely.kit.com/d7d3234f95 [https://sarah-neely.kit.com/d7d3234f95] 🎵 Music Credit “Carpe Diem” by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com [http://incompetech.com]) Licensed under Creative Commons: Attribution 4.0 Licensehttp://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/ [http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/] This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit yourpassaggiprofessor.substack.com [https://yourpassaggiprofessor.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_1]