Become your Future Self with the BE-DO-HAVE Model | 43

The Fear of Not Knowing: Take the Next Step in Faith

It was the last session of the semester inside the Faith Based Coaching Academy. My student Mighty was sharing her journey, where she had started, how far she had come, and all the possibilities that had opened up to her that she could not have imagined when she first arrived. And then she said this phrase, which I am convinced she borrowed from someone extraordinary, because it stopped me completely in my tracks. As I walk forward, the path appears. I asked her to say it again. And she did. And I knew immediately that it was the theme of this episode. Because most of us are not stuck because we are lazy. We are stuck because we are waiting. Waiting for certainty. Waiting for the full map. Waiting to know all the steps before we take the first one. And in the meantime, God is standing at the trailhead with his hand extended, saying, just take this step. I will show you the rest. THIS EPISODE IS FOR YOU IF: You are in the middle of something and you have no idea how it is going to end. A marriage, a diagnosis, a legal case, a business, a calling you know is yours but do not know how to step into. A child going off to college. A season of your life where the road has run out and you are waiting for more to appear. It will. I promise. But only as you walk. WHAT I AM TEACHING IN THIS EPISODE: Why uncertainty is not a problem to be solved but a blessing to be welcomed. If you knew everything from the beginning, you would be limited to the wisdom and capacity you have right now. And if there is one thing I know for certain, it is that we are lifelong learners. The wisdom you have in your forties and fifties could not have lived in you at age five. You earned it by walking the path. You cannot know it before you walk it. Why not knowing everything is actually a protection. My first business coach ever, Luli, taught me that sometimes you build the plane while it is flying. The information you need is not always available yet because God is still working on it. If you plan all your steps from where you stand today, you will miss the college counselor you were going to meet at a basketball game three months from now. You will make decisions based on what you know instead of what God is still preparing. Why uncertainty equals limitless possibilities, not lack of power. If you know everything, nothing can surprise you. And if nothing can surprise you, you are closed to graces, growth, miracles, and the peace that surpasses all understanding. A person of faith must believe in mystery. God is mysterious. His ways are mysterious. And when you leave room for that mystery, you leave room for him. Why God only lives in the present moment. Wayne Dyer said that the only thing that is real is that which never changes. And I want to say it this way: the only thing that is permanent, significant, and eternal is that which never changes. Your body changes. Your emotions change. Your thoughts change. Your circumstances change. None of it is permanent. But the soul God created to his image and likeness, that center within you that is one with the indwelling Holy Spirit, that never changes. That is what matters. That is what is real. And God lives there, in you, right now, in this present moment. Not in the worry about tomorrow. Not in the regret about yesterday. Right here. Right now. Resources & Links:Ready to step into your purpose and answer God’s calling to do more? Learn about my programs at FaithAndGrowth.comIf you’re ready to take action, book a call at TalkToBetsy.comGrab my book, Hurt 2 Hope: Heal the Pain of Grief, Loss, and Adversity: https://a.co/d/awwbAgcDownload the Better with Betsy App and gain 24/7 access to Betsy through her Betsy Bot!Free Purpose Workshop! Go to https://faithbasedcoachingacademy.com/FW to secure your spot

How to Stop Looking for Evidence That You'll Fail | 49

My mom used to say, especially to the men in our family who could never find anything when you asked them to look for it, el que lo busca, lo encuentra. In English: the person who looks for it will find it.   There is a lifetime of wisdom in that little phrase. And today I want to give it to you.   Because here is the truth that psychology and Scripture both confirm. You will always find evidence for whatever you are looking for. If you look for proof that life is falling apart, that the universe is working against you, that you are not capable, not enough, not going to make it, you will find it. Every single time.   But if you look for evidence that miracles exist, that success is inevitable for you, that God is working on your behalf even when you cannot see it, you will find that too.   The question is not whether the evidence is out there. The question is what you are choosing to look for.   In May, I set the intention of magic. I called it Magic May. And I want to tell you what happened, because I believe that when you see the proof in real stories, the concept stops being a nice idea and becomes a practice you cannot wait to start.   This week, become a loving observer of your own mind. Notice the questions you are asking yourself. Notice what you are looking for evidence of. And then make a decision, a true decision, to shift your focus toward seeking proof that your success is inevitable, that miracles surround you, that God is rigging the universe in your favor.   Because seek and you shall find. That is not a motivational quote. That is a promise.   And you are amazing just the way you are.  Resources & Links: * Ready to step into your purpose and answer God’s calling to do more? Learn about my programs at FaithAndGrowth.com * If you’re ready to take action, book a call at TalkToBetsy.com * Grab my book, Hurt 2 Hope: Heal the Pain of Grief, Loss, and Adversity: https://a.co/d/awwbAgc [https://a.co/d/awwbAgc] * Download the Better with Betsy App and gain 24/7 access to Betsy through her Betsy Bot! * Free Purpose Workshop! Go to https://faithbasedcoachingacademy.com/purpose/https://faithbasedcoachingacademy.com/FW [https://faithbasedcoachingacademy.com/FW] to secure your spot

How Do I Heal My Relationship With Money? | 48

We need to talk about money. Not in a financial planning kind of way. Not in a hustle harder kind of way. In a psycho-spiritual kind of way, because that is the only conversation about money that I believe actually gets to the root. Today I am going to help you diagnose your money problem, understand exactly why you have the relationship with abundance that you have, and then give you three practical tools to begin expanding your capacity to receive everything God created you to experience. Because John 10:10 says it clearly. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it abundantly. Not just enough. Not playing catch up. Not barely getting by. Abundantly. And if that is not your reality right now, I want to help you figure out why. THE THREE TOOLS TO EXPAND YOUR ABUNDANCE: Tool One, Reframe Your Mindset. All those sentences you grew up hearing, mo money mo problems, filthy rich, money does not grow on trees, we cannot afford that, we are going to reframe them all. Abundance is not a number. It is a state of being. And you start by watching your words. Replace I want with I desire. Replace I need with I am creating. Replace I wish with I will. Replace I can't with I have not learned how to yet. Language shapes the subconscious mind. Every word is a vote for your reality. Tool Two, Build the Gratitude Muscle. Gratitude is one of the highest frequency emotions there is. When you live in gratitude, you become attractive to abundance because like vibration attracts like vibration. Start viewing every payment you make as an expression of appreciation. Pay your electricity bill and say, thank you for keeping my home cool and my family comfortable. Pay your mortgage and say, thank you for the home where my family has built its most sacred memories. When a payment comes in, no matter how small, stop and receive it fully. Say thank you out loud. Feel it in your body. When you are grateful for the little, more is entrusted to you. That is not just a mindset concept. That is Scripture. Tool Three, Raise the Thermostat. Visualize yourself having already arrived. Use all of your senses. What does it feel like? What are you wearing? Who is with you? What do you smell? What do you hear? Then live with your hands open. Literally open the palms of your hands upward right now. That posture is the posture of a receiver. Many of us are asking God for more while living with our arms crossed and our fists clenched. Open up. Practice saying yes when people offer to help you. Practice receiving the small things so that you train yourself to receive the big ones. There is arrogance in only being a giver. Humility means being willing to receive too. I did my internship in New York. I was broke but abundant, as I like to say. I used to go to New York-style pizza places often because they were cheap and delicious. Every time I was in line and there was one slice of cheese pizza left and someone ordered it before me, instead of dreading the wait, I rejoiced. Because I knew that when the last slice was taken, a whole fresh new pie was coming. I wanted the fresh one. I wanted the replenished one. That is how God works. Every time a slice of abundance, of love, of opportunity, of peace, is given away, it replenishes back to 100 percent. Abundance minus two equals abundance. Always.Resources & Links:Ready to step into your purpose and answer God’s calling to do more? Learn about my programs at FaithAndGrowth.comIf you’re ready to take action, book a call at TalkToBetsy.comGrab my book, Hurt 2 Hope: Heal the Pain of Grief, Loss, and Adversity: https://a.co/d/awwbAgcDownload the Better with Betsy App and gain 24/7 access to Betsy through her Betsy Bot!Free Purpose Workshop! Go to https://faithbasedcoachingacademy.com/FW to secure your spot

The Power of Acceptance: How to Welcome What You Never Would Have Chosen | 47

The night after Fofi passed, I found myself on the bathroom floor in fetal position, rocking back and forth, wanting to rip my own head off. Wanting to disappear. Wanting to lose contact with reality because reality was too hard to bear. I want to be honest with you about that because you need to know that I know what it feels like to be in the pit. And I also need you to know that experiencing pain does not have to include that sensation permanently. I learned that within a month. And in this episode I want to teach you what I learned. One morning not long after losing Fofi, I was at Mass asking God, what do I do now? All I could hear from the scriptures being read was one single word. Accept. And I knew. I knew that was the answer to my prayer. Every day this week, or for as long as you need it, I invite you to pray the Welcoming Prayer of Thomas Keating. It goes like this. Welcome, welcome, welcome. I welcome everything that comes to me today because I know it is for my healing. I welcome all thoughts, feelings, emotions, persons, situations, and conditions. I let go of my desire for power and control. I let go of my desire for affection, esteem, approval, and pleasure. I let go of my desire for survival and security. I let go of my desire to change any situation, condition, person, or myself. I open to the love and presence of God and God's action within. Amen. The moment you welcome what is as is is the very moment you will begin to manifest the peace and the joy that surpasses all understanding. I promise you that. I love you like crazy.Resources & Links:Ready to step into your purpose and answer God’s calling to do more? Learn about my programs at FaithAndGrowth.comIf you’re ready to take action, book a call at TalkToBetsy.comGrab my book, Hurt 2 Hope: Heal the Pain of Grief, Loss, and Adversity: https://a.co/d/awwbAgcDownload the Better with Betsy App and gain 24/7 access to Betsy through her Betsy Bot!Free Purpose Workshop! Go to https://faithbasedcoachingacademy.com/FW to secure your spot

The Blueprint to Becoming the Best Mom: 5 Lessons from Mother Mary | 46

Today is my daughter Mia's birthday. May 19. My rainbow baby. And I went into my computer to find the story of how I found out she was coming, because I wanted to share it with you. What I found instead brought me to tears. Searching for the word rainbow in my manuscript took me back to the very beginning of the story. To the last Sunday I took Fofi to Mass before she passed. To the moment our family friend carried her up to kiss the image of our Blessed Mother outside the church. To the reflection of a rainbow on the wall made of sunlight and colored glass. I had forgotten I wrote it that way. And it broke me open all over again. So today I am going to tell you the story of how Mia came to be, because it is one of the most extraordinary miracles of my life. And then I am going to give you something I have been wanting to give you for a long time. The blueprint to becoming the best mother in the world, modeled after the most extraordinary mother who ever lived. THE SAINT BLUEPRINT FOR MOTHERS: In the spirit of the month of May, I want to give you the framework that Mary modeled for all of us. I call it the SAINT acronym, because ultimately that is what we are all called to be. S stands for Surrender. Mary was young, a virgin, and could have been killed for what God asked of her. Her answer was, let it be done according to your will. I am the handmaid of the Lord. My name is Betsy and I am a recovering control freak. I put Fofi in swim lessons. I practiced with her in the pool. I was standing right next to her when she drowned. Control is an illusion. Surrender is releasing the illusion and letting the one who truly has the power drive. Your child belongs to God first. Surrender them to him. A stands for Acceptance. Mary was a yes woman. Not passive. Powerful. She welcomed what is as is without resistance. In the New Testament, when Jesus calls her woman, it is because she is the New Eve. Eve said no. Mary said yes. That is the whole story. I have been working intentionally and diligently on becoming more of a yes woman myself. Submission is not weakness. It is the most powerful thing I know how to do. I stands for Intention. Mary moved with intention. When she found out her cousin Elizabeth was pregnant, she rushed to her. There was no car. She had a destination and she moved toward it without drifting. Setting an intention means making a decision, connecting to divine power, and giving meaning to everything you do. You are not doing the dishes. You are loving your family. N stands for Noble. Mary was humble, graceful, obedient, and powerful all at the same time. When Jesus was lost for three days and came back saying he was simply in his Father's house, she did not scream. She pondered all these things in her heart. That is what nobility looks like. You can be deeply powerful and deeply noble at the same time. T stands for Trust. Mary trusted God with everything she had. Her reputation. Her safety. Her son. She trusted him even to the cross. If you truly trusted that what your child is going through right now is preparing them for their mission, what would change in you? Build that identity. Step into that trust. Glorify God in advance for what you have not yet seen. Be a saint. You are already the chosen mother of a child who belongs to God first. He is not going to leave them alone. And neither are you.