You say yes. Your partner hears no. What happened?

6 Kinds of Fun for Your Relationship

What kills a fun time faster than anything else? Someone who doesn’t want to be there. Not everyone has fun in the same way. When you understand what’s fun for you, it’s easier to ask your partner if they want to join you in having your kind of fun. Today we’ll talk about 6 types of fun (but there are plenty of others). * Fall into Flow * Bolt of Joy * Contentment * Fidgeting * Something Messy * Something Clean Habit for Your Happily Ever After This week’s habit for your happily ever after is to create or refine one flavor of fun that is fun for you. Do you want to borrow from my 6 types of fun? Or do you have an entirely different flavor of fun that I have missed? Date Night Discussion This week I invite you to tell your partner about a specific sort of fun you want to put into your life. My invitation is to either: * Invite your partner to share some fun with you, or * To describe the sort of fun you want to have on your own or with a friend. Consider this date night discussion a chance to either issue a clear invitation to your partner or to announce that you want to go have fun alone, but you promise to return and bring a whole bunch of happiness home with you. Want more? * Review my number one rule for relationship happiness: Stay in your own business [https://rebeccamullencoaching.com/122-the-single-most-important-habit-for-your-marriage/] Connect to Improve Your Relationship Communication Visit the show notes. [https://rebeccamullencoaching.com/168-6-kinds-of-fun-for-your-relationship/] Buy my book. [https://rebeccamullencoaching.com/six-steps-to-better-marriage-communication-book/] Listen to my book. [https://open.spotify.com/show/3dV9xj1Ana93QBHq6MZduc?si=6f7e63e3e7294356] Please subscribe to my newsletter here. [https://rebeccamullencoaching.com/mailing-list/] This unlocks personal invitations from me only available to my subscribers. Follow me on Tik Tok. [https://www.tiktok.com/@rebeccamullencoaching] Follow me on Instagram. [https://www.instagram.com/rebeccamullencoaching/] Reach me at 970-210-4480

49 Years Later, They're Still Each Other's Favorite Date

What does it look like to build a marriage where kindness becomes second nature? I spend a lot of time helping couples figure out how to make their relationship work. Today, you'll hear a conversation with Jamee and Doug Simons, a couple who have spent nearly 50 years creating the marriage many people hope to build. * You’ll hear what it was like for Jamee and Doug to take of a family business and balance their partnership at work with cultivating a loving marriage at home * And you’ll hear how the kindness and generosity they foster in their community is ever-present in their relationship. Jamee and Doug are third-generation owners of Enstrom Candies [https://enstrom.com/]. They bought the business from Jamee's parents, Emil and Mary, in 1993. It's not easy to work side by side all day, then go home to raise children. They did it for decades. While Doug and Jamee were quick to admit there have been bumps along the way, I was struck by the generosity they bring to their relationship, their commitment to supporting each other, and their refusal to keep score. I hope their story inspires you as much as it inspired me. Connect with my guest Read their story: enstrom.com/pages/our-story [https://enstrom.com/pages/our-story/] Website: enstrom.com [https://enstrom.com/] Instagram: instagram.com/enstromcandies [https://www.instagram.com/enstromcandies/] Connect to Improve Your Relationship Communication Visit the show notes. [https://rebeccamullencoaching.com/167-49-years-later-theyre-still-each-others-favorite-date/] Buy my book. [https://rebeccamullencoaching.com/six-steps-to-better-marriage-communication-book/] Listen to my book. [https://open.spotify.com/show/3dV9xj1Ana93QBHq6MZduc?si=6f7e63e3e7294356] Please subscribe to my newsletter here. [https://rebeccamullencoaching.com/mailing-list/] This unlocks personal invitations from me only available to my subscribers. Follow me on Tik Tok. [https://www.tiktok.com/@rebeccamullencoaching] Follow me on Instagram. [https://www.instagram.com/rebeccamullencoaching/] Reach me at 970-210-4480

Better Communication Begins with You

Today, I bring you an interview when I was a guest on the podcast, Stronger in the Difficult Places [https://drzoeshaw.com/podcast/], with psychotherapist, author, speaker, and media contributor Dr. Zoe Shaw [https://drzoeshaw.com/]. On her podcast, Stronger in the Difficult Places, her guiding premise is: “We’re not fixing them, we’re fixing you, and that changes everything.” Dr. Shaw has been a guest on this podcast before to discuss the impact of shame on your relationship. In this episode, you’ll hear me talk about my book, 6 Steps to Better Marriage Communication [https://rebeccamullencoaching.com/six-steps-to-better-marriage-communication-book/]. Discover more from Dr. Zoe Shaw * Read Dr. Zoe Shaw’s book [https://drzoeshaw.com/book/], or listen to her podcast, Stronger in the Difficult Places [https://drzoeshaw.com/podcast/] * Listen to episode 54: Let Go of Shame. Own Your Story to Improve Your Relationship [https://rebeccamullencoaching.com/54-let-go-of-shame-own-your-story-to-improve-your-relationship/] with Dr. Zoe Shaw * Listen to episode 55: More Dr. Zoe: Expectations, Shame + A Magic Question [https://rebeccamullencoaching.com/55-more-dr-zoe-expectations-shame-a-magic-question/] * Listen to episode 125: Shame Stops the Love You Feel with Dr. Zoe Shaw [https://rebeccamullencoaching.com/125-shame-stops-the-love-you-feel-with-dr-zoe-shaw/] Connect to Improve Your Relationship Communication Visit the show notes. [https://rebeccamullencoaching.com/166-better-communication-begins-with-you/] Buy my book. [https://rebeccamullencoaching.com/six-steps-to-better-marriage-communication-book/] Listen to my book. [https://open.spotify.com/show/3dV9xj1Ana93QBHq6MZduc?si=6f7e63e3e7294356] Please subscribe to my newsletter here. [https://rebeccamullencoaching.com/mailing-list/] This unlocks personal invitations from me only available to my subscribers. Follow me on Tik Tok. [https://www.tiktok.com/@rebeccamullencoaching] Follow me on Instagram. [https://www.instagram.com/rebeccamullencoaching/] Reach me at 970-210-4480

What if They Don't Need You to Fix it? with Dr. David Marcus

You hate seeing your partner suffer. So, you jump to solutions. When someone we love is hurting, our instinct is often to fix it. But rarely do any of us want a solution. We need a soothing presence—someone who can sit with the discomfort long enough for the pressure to ease and your words to emerge. Today, I’m joined by Dr. David Marcus [https://parentrx.org/]. We discuss how you can become a soothing presence in the lives of the people you love most and why that is key to emotional regulation. 1. You’ll understand why you’re more likely to blame, jump to anger, or generally decompensate when you’re so full of emotion you can’t see straight 2. And why it helps so much to have someone else be a soothing presence who will let you empty your emotions by simply talking and processing 3. Mostly, though, you’ll learn how to become that soothing presence so that you can calm the ones you love. Want more? * Listen to my podcast episode about the pressure relief value [https://rebeccamullencoaching.com/create-a-pressure-relief-valve-for-your-relationship/] Connect with my guest Dr. David Marcus [https://parentrx.org/]'s extensive expertise and commitment to improving the lives of individuals and families have made him a highly respected figure in the field of Clinical Psychology. His 40 years of experience in treating families under stress have made him a sought after clinical and legal resource in the Cincinnati area on the topics of parent-child communication and child advocacy. Connect to Improve Your Relationship Communication Visit the show notes. [https://rebeccamullencoaching.com/165-what-if-they-dont-need-you-to-fix-it-with-dr-david-marcus/] Buy my book. [https://rebeccamullencoaching.com/six-steps-to-better-marriage-communication-book/] Listen to my book. [https://open.spotify.com/show/3dV9xj1Ana93QBHq6MZduc?si=6f7e63e3e7294356] Please subscribe to my newsletter here. [https://rebeccamullencoaching.com/mailing-list/] This unlocks personal invitations from me only available to my subscribers. Follow me on Tik Tok. [https://www.tiktok.com/@rebeccamullencoaching] Follow me on Instagram. [https://www.instagram.com/rebeccamullencoaching/] Reach me at 970-210-4480

Protective Defensive Maneuvers vs “Presenting the Deeper Me”

“Why don’t you ever initiate sex?!” vs cuddling up and kissing your sweetheart’s back. Which do you typically choose? Do you hide your heart in the precise moment you want to be loved? Or are you willing to disclose that super tender underbelly? Today we look at why it’s tempting to hide behind Protective Defensive Maneuvers (PDM’s) because when you start with compassion, change is easier. 1. You’ll understand why you resort to PDM’s and understanding helps you forgive yourself and begin again differently. 2. We’ll find some fun PDM turn-arounds like Presenting the Deeper Me. 3. And we’ll reach into the archives for a very sly PDM (the protective kind) that might be part of your everyday language. Want more? * Read my blog post [https://rebeccamullencoaching.com/should-the-relationship-killer/] about the word "should" * Listen to episode #1 [https://rebeccamullencoaching.com/episode-1-what-sean-heather-dont-know-about-their-sex-life/]about how misunderstandings grow from disinformation in your relationship. Connect to Improve Your Relationship Communication Visit the show notes. [https://rebeccamullencoaching.com/164-protective-defensive-maneuvers-vs-presenting-the-deeper-me/] Buy my book. [https://rebeccamullencoaching.com/six-steps-to-better-marriage-communication-book/] Listen to my book. [https://open.spotify.com/show/3dV9xj1Ana93QBHq6MZduc?si=6f7e63e3e7294356] Please subscribe to my newsletter here. [https://rebeccamullencoaching.com/mailing-list/] This unlocks personal invitations from me only available to my subscribers. Follow me on Tik Tok. [https://www.tiktok.com/@rebeccamullencoaching] Follow me on Instagram. [https://www.instagram.com/rebeccamullencoaching/] Reach me at 970-210-4480