Book Review: Cultivating Love

Why Men Struggle to Heal from Betrayal—and How They Can

Send us Fan Mail [https://www.buzzsprout.com/1849448/fan_mail/new] When infidelity and betrayal are discussed, the experiences of men are often overlooked. In this episode, Adam Nisenson sheds light on the unique challenges faced by men who have been betrayed by a partner, exploring the stigma, shame, and societal expectations that often keep them silent and unsupported. Adam introduces the concept of Masculine Betrayal Trauma (MBT) and walks listeners through the 7 Stages of recovery, helping men better understand their emotional journey and the obstacles that can arise along the way. Through practical insights and a real-world case example, we explore how men process betrayal differently and why healing requires courage, vulnerability, and connection. Adam also discusses the hidden costs of carrying pain for years through unhealthy defense mechanisms. He explains the critical distinction between building "walls" that isolate us and developing "shields" that protect us while still allowing meaningful relationships. Listeners will gain valuable tools for establishing healthy boundaries, finding supportive community, and moving beyond survival mode. Most importantly, this conversation offers hope, illustrating how betrayal can become a catalyst for personal growth, renewed identity, and a powerful new beginning. Whether you have experienced betrayal yourself or support someone who has, this episode provides a roadmap toward healing, resilience, and transformation. To learn more about  Adam's work: adam@betrayalshrink.com https://www.betrayalshrink.com/

The Empathetic Warrior: Helping Men Show Up After Betrayal

Send us Fan Mail [https://www.buzzsprout.com/1849448/fan_mail/new] In this powerful conversation, recovery coach Tryan Stutes unpacks what he calls the “gap” in betrayal recovery—the often overlooked space between a man’s personal recovery and his partner’s healing process. While many men have access to structured resources like SAA, sponsors, and intensives, their partners are often left navigating deep emotional pain with fewer supports. Tryan shares how his work focuses on helping men develop true empathy, step out of defensiveness, and begin to feel the impact of their actions in a way that creates real connection. With both directness and care, he challenges men to move beyond surface-level recovery and into meaningful relational repair. Tryan adds clarification to the term "True Warrior Inside.”  He defines a warrior as an integrated man living out healthy masculinity as identity and values one who can lead, provide, and protect, including emotionally through nervous-system regulation, rigorous honesty, clean motives, accountability, and the ability to hold space without defensiveness so trust can be rebuilt after betrayal.  The episode walks through the stages of recovery—from early sobriety and disclosure to deeper work around underlying drivers, trauma, and long-term transformation. Tryan emphasizes that sobriety alone is not enough; lasting change comes from becoming a different kind of man—one who can engage in the work required to what he calls “Marriage 2.0.” Listeners will gain insight into why defensiveness blocks healing, how empathy can be developed, and what it takes to rebuild trust over time. This episode is a roadmap for moving from survival to true connection, grounded in honesty, responsibility, and the steady work of becoming a warrior with empathy.

April Fools Takeover: Lisa Eliason takes over the Mic

Send us Fan Mail [https://www.buzzsprout.com/1849448/fan_mail/new] In this special April Fools episode, the script gets flipped as Lisa Eliason takes over the mic and puts Shane in the hot seat. What starts as a lighthearted role reversal quickly turns into a meaningful and honest conversation about the heart of Shane’s work—helping couples navigate betrayal, rebuild trust, and create deeper emotional connection. From the realities of working with sexual addiction and relationship trauma to what really happens in those first raw sessions after trust is broken, this episode pulls back the curtain on the work many couples never see. Lisa guides the conversation into real talk about relationships, emotional safety, and the patterns that keep couples stuck, while also exploring the role of faith, healing, and Shane’s approach through Emotionally Focused Therapy. Whether you're a couple, an individual navigating trust and intimacy, or a therapist looking to grow, this episode offers practical insights, hope for repair, and a few unexpected laughs along the way.

Anatomy of Emotional Intimacy

Send us Fan Mail [https://www.buzzsprout.com/1849448/fan_mail/new] In this episode, Shane shares how emotional intimacy grows through the attachment lens of accessibility, reliability, and emotional engagement, inspired by Sue Johnson’s ARE model. He explores the powerful idea that intimacy means “In-To-Me-I-See,” inviting couples, friends, and family members to move beyond surface conversations and courageously share their inner emotional world. Listeners will learn practical ways to deepen connection through slowing down conversations, speaking from personal experience, regulating emotions before engaging, and practicing small moments of turning toward one another. Shane also offers thoughtful guidance on when vulnerability builds closeness — and when emotional safety may be lacking — helping listeners pursue deeper relationships with wisdom, courage, and compassion.

Anatomy of Sexual Intimacy

Send us Fan Mail [https://www.buzzsprout.com/1849448/fan_mail/new] In this episode, I sit down with sex therapist Dr. Lisa Elieson to explore how sexuality is far more than a physical act — it’s an expression of self and a creative language of love within marriage. Dr. Elieson shares how she integrates art into therapy to help couples better understand their sexual identity, emotional connection, and the deeper meaning behind intimacy. Together, we discuss how anxiety impacts sexual arousal, the different ways it tends to manifest for men and women, and how mindfulness practices can help calm the nervous system and create space for more authentic connection. We also dive into one of the most common struggles couples face: sexual desire discrepancy — when one partner has higher desire and the other lower desire. I bring real-life challenges from my counseling practice into the conversation, inviting Dr. Elieson’s perspective on how couples can navigate these moments with empathy and curiosity rather than shame or pressure. The episode closes with a look at Dr. Elieson’s current projects and practical ways listeners can learn more about her work and connect with her. Lisa is excited about two newly released books:  3 Core Communication skills, as well as, the 12 Types of Intimacy.    You can reach Dr. Eliason at  www.HiddenLakesCounseling.comhttp://www.hiddenlakescounseling.com/