Nope! We're Not Monogamous

The Taboo Side of Non-Monogamy: Pleasure, Healing, and Desire with Sharon Marie Scott

What if the desires you’re most afraid to admit are actually the key to your freedom? What if the parts of you you’ve labeled as “too much,” “too weird,” or “too taboo” are the exact places your healing has been waiting for you to look? In this intimate conversation, I sit down with Sharon Marie Scott, Erotic Mystic, author of Forbidden Alchemy, and longtime educator in kink, conscious relating, and ethical non-monogamy. Sharon’s work bridges mysticism, sensual embodiment, psychology, and the sacred-erotic arts… and this episode goes deep in the best possible ways. We explore the intersections of taboo, desire, jealousy, sovereignty, trauma healing, and erotic awakening, especially within the context of non-monogamy. Sharon shares her journey from early monogamy to swinging, polyamory, kink, and ultimately a full spiritual and sensual awakening. She brings a level of clarity, honesty, and grounded erotic wisdom that you can feel in your body while listening. If you’ve ever wrestled with jealousy, judged your own desires, struggled with people-pleasing, or felt confused about what pleasure even looks like when you’ve lived most of your life in survival mode… this episode is going to be a revelation.  Find Sharon’s work, writing, and upcoming events at:  sharonmariescott.com [https://www.sharonmariescott.com]  or https://substack.com/@sharonmariescott [https://substack.com/@sharonmariescott] Send us a text [https://www.buzzsprout.com/twilio/text_messages/1774508/open_sms] FLOW Nitric Oxide Booster [https://www.elleciapaine.com/flow] FLOW brings blood where you want it to go — your brain, your heart, and your pleasure zones. Try your first bottle of FLOW FREE — just pay shipping. Experience the results yourself and cancel anytime. We’re confident FLOW will reignite your spark!  Support the show [https://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous] 📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter [https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter] to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter [https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter] ❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! [http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous] http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous [http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous] 👀 Find Us Online 🌍 Website: https://www.elleciapaine.com [https://www.elleciapaine.com] 📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine [%20https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine%20] 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/ [https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/] Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar Lindstein STIM IPI: 572 393 237

The Relationship Skills That Actually Matter in Non-Monogamy with Dr. Dan Sneider Ep. 136

If you’ve ever wondered which relationship skills actually make non-monogamy easier, healthier, and less chaotic, this episode is your new favorite deep dive. Today I’m talking with couples therapist Dr. Dan Sneider, who works with both monogamous and non-monogamous partners and brings a grounded, compassionate, very human approach to communication, trust, and emotional safety. We get into the skills that truly make the biggest difference, including: • How to communicate without spiraling • How to know when you’re going too fast • How to tell old baggage from a real relationship issue • The 5 to 1 positivity ratio and why it matters • What emotional safety feels like in your body • How to navigate the sex and feelings part of non-monogamy without gaslighting each other • Why “go slow to go fast” works every single time Whether you’re opening up, rebuilding trust, or trying to deepen connection, this episode gives you practical, usable tools you can apply right away. 📍 Work with Dr. Dan: intimacyshift.com [http://intimacyshift.com] Send us a text [https://www.buzzsprout.com/twilio/text_messages/1774508/open_sms] FLOW Nitric Oxide Booster [https://www.elleciapaine.com/flow] FLOW brings blood where you want it to go — your brain, your heart, and your pleasure zones. Try your first bottle of FLOW FREE — just pay shipping. Experience the results yourself and cancel anytime. We’re confident FLOW will reignite your spark!  Support the show [https://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous] 📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter [https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter] to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter [https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter] ❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! [http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous] http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous [http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous] 👀 Find Us Online 🌍 Website: https://www.elleciapaine.com [https://www.elleciapaine.com] 📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine [%20https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine%20] 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/ [https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/] Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar Lindstein STIM IPI: 572 393 237

You Can’t Logic Your Way Out of Jealousy (But You’ll Definitely Try) Ep. 135

Ever tried to think your way out of a feeling? You read the books, have the talks, highlight every chapter on jealousy and self-regulation… and your nervous system just shrugs and says, “That’s cute, I’m still panicking.” This week on Nope! We’re Not Monogamous, I’m getting real about the hilarious (and exhausting) ways we try to outsmart our emotions, and why logic doesn’t work when your body doesn’t feel safe. In this solo episode, I share my own “self-help fails,” the moment I realized you can’t out-think a trauma response, and what actually does help when jealousy, anxiety, or insecurity hit hard in non-monogamous relationships. We’ll talk about what it means to stop fixing and start feeling, to breathe, laugh, and build emotional safety in real time, one micro-moment at a time. What You’ll Learn * Why jealousy in polyamory is a nervous system response, not a logic problem. * How overthinking and self-help spirals fuel relationship anxiety in non-monogamy. * The mind-body disconnect that happens during triggers in open relationships. * Simple nervous system regulation tools that actually help with jealousy and insecurity. * How laughter and self-compassion reduce emotional overwhelm in polyamorous dynamics. * How to use body-based honesty to communicate needs and build trust with partners. Send us a text [https://www.buzzsprout.com/twilio/text_messages/1774508/open_sms] Support the show [https://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous] 📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter [https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter] to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter [https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter] ❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! [http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous] http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous [http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous] 👀 Find Us Online 🌍 Website: https://www.elleciapaine.com [https://www.elleciapaine.com] 📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine [%20https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine%20] 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/ [https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/] Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar Lindstein STIM IPI: 572 393 237

Rethinking “Success” in Polyamory with Jessica Morgenthaler Ep. 134

Ever been told that a relationship only “counts” if you stay in it forever? Yeah… hard pass. In this episode of Nope! We’re Not Monogamous, I sit down with therapist, coach, and relationship anarchist Jessica Morgenthaler to talk about what it actually means to do relationships on purpose, not just by default. Jessica’s been practicing and teaching ethical non-monogamy for over a decade, and the way she talks about relationship design will blow your mind a little (and soothe your inner overthinker a lot). We dig into: → What it means to be a solo polyamorous relationship anarchist with a nesting partner (and how to deconstruct couple’s privilege without losing connection) → Why assumptions, not agreements, are usually what trip us up → How a “relationship user manual” can transform communication, accountability, and self-awareness → And why success in love isn’t about forever, it’s about authenticity, gratitude, and the courage to keep showing up → We also talk about aging, community care, and how to stop outsourcing all your emotional needs to one person (spoiler: your friends deserve a spot on your living will). This conversation is funny, honest, and deeply human, the kind that leaves you breathing a little deeper and feeling less alone in how messy and beautiful relationships can be. Connect with Jessica Morgenthaler, LICSWA, CCTP-I → ICU Transformative Consulting LLC [https://www.icutransform.org] www.icutransform.org Send us a text [https://www.buzzsprout.com/twilio/text_messages/1774508/open_sms] FLOW Nitric Oxide Booster [https://www.elleciapaine.com/flow] FLOW brings blood where you want it to go — your brain, your heart, and your pleasure zones. Try your first bottle of FLOW FREE — just pay shipping. Experience the results yourself and cancel anytime. We’re confident FLOW will reignite your spark!  Support the show [https://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous] 📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter [https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter] to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter [https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter] ❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! [http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous] http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous [http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous] 👀 Find Us Online 🌍 Website: https://www.elleciapaine.com [https://www.elleciapaine.com] 📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine [%20https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine%20] 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/ [https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/] Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar Lindstein STIM IPI: 572 393 237

Pelvic Floors, Orgasms, and Why We Don’t Discriminate Against the Monogamous with Jana Danielson

What if the secret to better sex, stronger orgasms, and more confidence isn’t another relationship hack—but your pelvic floor? This week, I’m joined by Jana Danielson, sensual health and pelvic floor wellness expert, Pilates master instructor, and creator of the Cooch Ball (yes, that’s really what it’s called). Jana and I met in a group for sex-positive professionals, and even though she’s delightfully monogamous—we don’t discriminate against the monogamous here—her work is pure gold for every body. We talk about the 14 muscles that literally make or break pleasure, why so many people struggle with tension or numbness “down there,” and how breathwork, movement, and curiosity can completely transform your sensual life. Whether you’re poly, monogamous, or somewhere beautifully in-between, this conversation will help you reconnect with your body, your desire, and your pleasure—because honestly, you deserve to feel amazing in your skin. 💎 In this episode: • The science of the pelvic floor and why it matters for everyone • How stress and tension affect orgasm and desire • What the Cooch Ball actually does (and why you’ll love it) • Simple daily practices to boost blood flow, confidence, and turn-on 💖 Learn more about Jana or get the Cooch Ball at  https://bloombetter.life/ellecia [https://bloombetter.life/ellecia] 🌀 Support the show for just $3/month at patreon.com/notmonogamous [https://patreon.com/notmonogamous] — it makes a huge difference and keeps these real, open-hearted conversations flowing. Send us a text [https://www.buzzsprout.com/twilio/text_messages/1774508/open_sms] FLOW Nitric Oxide Booster [https://www.elleciapaine.com/flow] FLOW brings blood where you want it to go — your brain, your heart, and your pleasure zones. Try your first bottle of FLOW FREE — just pay shipping. Experience the results yourself and cancel anytime. We’re confident FLOW will reignite your spark!  Support the show [https://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous] 📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter [https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter] to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter [https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter] ❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! [http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous] http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous [http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous] 👀 Find Us Online 🌍 Website: https://www.elleciapaine.com [https://www.elleciapaine.com] 📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine [%20https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine%20] 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/ [https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/] Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar Lindstein STIM IPI: 572 393 237