When Grief Feels Unreal

When the Accuser gets loud

This episode is different. Today, I'm not teaching from the mountaintop. I'm inviting you into one of the darkest valleys I've walked through since Samantha left us. In this honest and raw conversation, I share how Satan has been accusing me with lies like, "You couldn't even keep your daughter alive," "Nobody needs you anymore," and "Your purpose is over." I talk about the loneliness that followed, the weight of carrying the grief of so many moms, missing this year's Costa Rica mission trip, and the simple truth God used through my Sunday school teacher, Jordan, to remind me that my purpose has never been found in being a perfect wife, mom, or ministry leader. We were created to worship. If you've been struggling with guilt, loneliness, spiritual warfare, or wondering if your life still has purpose after the loss of your child, I pray this episode reminds you that the accuser does not get the final word. You are not alone. ⚠️ Sensitive Topic Notice This episode contains an honest discussion about depression, loneliness, and not wanting to be alive. My prayer is that this conversation helps remove shame and reminds you that even strong Christians can face dark seasons while still clinging to Christ. If you are struggling with thoughts of suicide or feel that you may be in immediate danger, please tell someone you trust right away—a family member, pastor, trusted friend, counselor, or healthcare provider. If you are in the United States or Canada, you can call or text 988 to reach the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. If you are in immediate danger, call 911 or your local emergency services. There is hope, and you do not have to walk this road alone. Scripture: Romans 8:1 • John 8:44 • Hebrews 12:2 Resources: If this episode encouraged you, visit Testimony Through Tears for additional podcast episodes, devotionals, and biblical resources created specifically for Christian moms grieving the loss of a child to suicide.

The anger no one talks about after suicide loss

In this episode of Testimony Through Tears, Janet talks honestly about the anger that often comes with deep grief after losing a child to suicide. Anger at the situation, at people, at yourself, and sometimes even at God can feel frightening and isolating—but God is not afraid of your honest emotions. Through scripture and gentle encouragement, this episode reminds grieving moms that they can bring every part of their pain to the Lord without shame.

When the waves come

When grief comes in waves, it can feel overwhelming and unpredictable. In this episode, we talk about how to navigate those moments when emotions rise suddenly and feel too heavy to carry. Grounded in Isaiah 43:2, this episode gently reminds you that you are not alone in the waves—God is with you, holding you steady through every rise and fall.

Supporter Edition: When the grocery store feels impossible

When a mom loses her child, even the simplest tasks can feel overwhelming. Something like going to the grocery store—once routine—can become unbearable. The questions, the small talk, the people who don’t know… it’s more than she can carry. In this episode, we gently walk through what that experience is really like for her—and how you, as someone who loves and supports her, can step in with practical care that truly helps. This isn’t just about bringing a meal. It’s about understanding that she may not be able to think clearly, plan ahead, or even recognize what her household needs. From groceries to everyday essentials like toilet paper and tissues, this episode will guide you in meeting the real, unspoken needs of a grieving mom and her family. Rooted in scripture and compassion, you’ll be encouraged to move from “let me know if you need anything” to simply showing up—with intention, with care, and with love. Because sometimes the most meaningful support isn’t complicated… it’s practical.

Supporter Edition: What she actually needs right now

When someone you love is grieving the loss of a child, especially to suicide, it can feel overwhelming to know what to do or say. You want to help… but you’re afraid of getting it wrong. In this episode, Janet gently walks you through what a grieving mom actually needs right now. Not perfect words. Not explanations. Not solutions. Just presence. With honest insight and heartfelt encouragement, you’ll learn how to: • Show up in a way that truly comforts • Offer support without overwhelming her • Create a safe space for her grief • Continue caring for her long after others have stepped away If you’ve ever thought, “I don’t know what to say,” this episode will remind you that your presence matters more than anything you could say. You don’t have to do this perfectly. You just have to be there. Take one small step today—reach out, show up, and remind her she is not alone. Visit my website: https://testimonythroughtears.com [https://testimonythroughtears.com]