From Chaos to Clarity: A Lifetime Battle with Addiction and the Road to Recovery

Former Advertising Executive Launches Campaign to Restore Respect in New Zealand

A former advertising executive and recovering alcoholic is leading a nationwide effort to tackle what he describes as a growing crisis of disrespect and aggression in New Zealand society. Matt Zwartz, founder of the Respect NZ Charitable Trust, shared his story outlining his journey from a successful career in journalism, public relations and advertising to sobriety and social advocacy. Raised in Wellington and later becoming an advertising agency owner, Matt said the culture of excess that surrounded the industry contributed to a long struggle with alcohol addiction. After reaching what he described as an unmanageable point in his life, he sought help through Alcoholics Anonymous, spending five years in the programme before developing his own approach to long-term recovery. Now sober, Matt has turned his attention to what he believes is a wider societal problem: a decline in everyday courtesy and respect. Through Respect NZ, he is campaigning to encourage positive behaviour and reduce the growing levels of abuse directed at frontline workers, including retail staff, call centre operators, emergency responders and service workers. Matt said incidents of aggression have become increasingly common across society and are no longer confined to isolated sectors. He pointed to research showing high levels of abuse experienced by frontline employees and argued that the consequences extend beyond individual workers. "The impact on mental health is significant," he said, noting that repeated exposure to hostility can contribute to anxiety, depression, absenteeism and staff turnover. Nutters Club co-host and psychotherapist Kyle MacDonald said the issue is likely driven by a combination of stress, social isolation and changing communication habits. He highlighted the role of social media and online interactions in normalising disrespectful behaviour, while also suggesting that post-pandemic lifestyles have reduced opportunities for positive face-to-face social contact. Listeners contributed their own experiences, with many describing examples of kindness from strangers, while others recounted incidents of rudeness, road rage and verbal abuse. Several callers argued that respect begins at home and must be modelled by parents, teachers and community leaders. Rather than focusing on punishment, Matt believes lasting change will come through recognising and rewarding positive behaviour. "We're not the manners police," he said. "We want to encourage the kind of behaviour that makes people's lives better." Respect NZ is currently building partnerships with major organisations, including One New Zealand and AA Insurance, as it works to create a nationwide movement promoting courtesy, kindness and social connection. See omnystudio.com/listener [https://omnystudio.com/listener] for privacy information.

Survivor Advocate Says New Zealand Must Do More for Male Victims of Sexual Abuse

One of New Zealand’s leading survivor advocates says the country has made significant progress in supporting victims of childhood sexual abuse, but major gaps remain in access to services and the justice system. Christchurch-based advocate Ken Clearwater reflected on a journey that began more than three decades ago when he sought help after reaching a crisis point. Clearwater revealed that at age 38 he found himself contemplating suicide after years of anger, violence and emotional turmoil stemming from sexual abuse he experienced as a 12-year-old boy. Despite desperately seeking help, he was repeatedly turned away before eventually finding support through a psychologist who helped him connect his struggles to his childhood trauma. What followed was a lifelong commitment to supporting male survivors of sexual abuse, a field that was largely unrecognised at the time. Clearwater became involved in peer-support groups and later helped establish and lead initiatives supporting male survivors across New Zealand. He said one of the most powerful discoveries was the value of peer support, allowing survivors to connect with others who had experienced similar trauma. At the time, few services anywhere in the world were specifically designed for male survivors, and there was little research or professional training available. Clearwater’s work eventually connected him with advocates, researchers and clinicians from around the world. Through international conferences and collaborations, he helped raise awareness of the prevalence of abuse against boys and men, a topic often overlooked in discussions about sexual violence. He said New Zealand became an international leader in peer-support models for male survivors, attracting interest from overseas organisations seeking to understand how community-led support could complement clinical services. However, Clearwater believes significant challenges remain. He argues that many survivors still face barriers when seeking help and says the justice system often fails to adequately support victims through the reporting and prosecution process. Despite decades of advocacy, he says more work is needed to ensure survivors can access effective support and be treated with dignity throughout their recovery. Reflecting on his career, Clearwater said he is proud of how far New Zealand has come but remains determined to continue pushing for change. “We’ve come a bloody long way,” he said, “but we’ve still got a long way to go.” See omnystudio.com/listener [https://omnystudio.com/listener] for privacy information.

Gloria Masters: Survivor Calls Child Sexual Abuse New Zealand's 'Silent Epidemic'

Internationally recognised survivor advocate Gloria Masters has highlighted what she describes as New Zealand's "silent epidemic" of child sexual abuse, while sharing her own decades-long journey of recovery and healing. Masters, who grew up in West Auckland, revealed she experienced sexual abuse and trafficking throughout her childhood, beginning in infancy and continuing until the age of 16. She said the abuse left lasting psychological impacts that took decades to fully understand and address. Masters said recovery from prolonged childhood trauma was far from straightforward. "I thought I would be fine once it was over," she said. "Instead, everything fell apart." Masters described dissociation as one of the most significant consequences of her trauma, explaining it as a survival mechanism in which "the mind leaves because the body can't." Now an author, speaker and advocate, Masters has dedicated much of her later life to supporting survivors and challenging systems that allow abuse to continue unchecked. She said she was not able to openly discuss her experiences until she was nearly 60 years old, when writing her memoir helped her process what had happened. Masters cited research indicating that one in three girls and one in five boys in New Zealand will experience sexual abuse before adulthood. She argued that the scale of the issue is not reflected in public discussion or policy attention. "The outcry is invisible," she said, describing child sexual abuse as a problem that remains largely hidden despite its prevalence. Masters also spoke about the role of grooming, secrecy and shame in preventing victims from disclosing abuse. She said perpetrators often manipulate not only children but also families and communities, making it difficult for survivors to be believed when they eventually speak out. A particularly damaging experience, she said, can occur when survivors are dismissed after disclosing abuse. Masters referred to this as a "second wound", a further trauma caused by disbelief, denial or minimisation. Despite the challenges, she emphasised that recovery and healing are possible. Through her advocacy work, Masters now hears regularly from survivors around New Zealand and overseas who are finding the confidence to share their own stories. Her message, she said, is simple but powerful: survivors are not alone, they deserve to be believed, and hope remains possible even after profound trauma. See omnystudio.com/listener [https://omnystudio.com/listener] for privacy information.

Filmmaker Shares Story of Grief, Survival and the Power of Storytelling

Award-winning filmmaker Paula opened up about a lifetime of hardship, resilience and devastating loss, offering listeners a candid insight into the realities of grief and recovery. Growing up in Hastings during the 1970s and 1980s, Paula described a childhood marked by freedom, responsibility and family challenges. Leaving school at 15, becoming a mother at 17, and later returning to education as an adult, she eventually found her calling in filmmaking after attending film school in her mid-twenties. Paula shared that storytelling became a turning point in her life following a period of alcohol and drug misuse that followed a traumatic event in her early adulthood. “I realised the power of storytelling,” she said. “I could tell the stories of people who weren’t often heard.” Her work has focused on marginalised communities, including women in gangs and those affected by social inequality. Through documentary filmmaking, she found a way to process her own experiences while amplifying the voices of others. The conversation centred on the profound impact of losing her son 12 years ago. Paula spoke openly about the guilt, grief and unanswered questions that followed his death, describing how work became both a refuge and a distraction. “Grief is the same as eating and sleeping,” she said. “You have to feel it.” Kyle MacDonald noted that the loss of a child is one of the most difficult forms of grief a parent can experience and emphasised that grief has no fixed timeline. Listeners responded with messages of support, praising Paula’s honesty and courage in sharing her story. The discussion also explored intergenerational trauma, family relationships and the challenges many people face in expressing emotions. Paula reflected on how her own upbringing influenced her parenting and acknowledged the ongoing work required to rebuild connections with her daughters. Now working on several new projects, including a television comedy series and feature films tackling difficult social issues, Paula remains committed to telling stories that challenge audiences and encourage conversations many families struggle to have. See omnystudio.com/listener [https://omnystudio.com/listener] for privacy information.

From Survival to Service: Lyndal Midgley’s Journey Through Trauma, Foster Care and Mental Health Advocacy

Guest Lyndal Midgley spoke about growing up first on a remote Northland farm before moving to Auckland’s North Shore as a child. While her early years were idyllic, she described her teenage years as deeply turbulent, shaped by family conflict, emotional isolation and a growing mental health struggle. At just 15 years old, she overdosed at a Blue Light disco, an event she says became a turning point in her life. “I remember the feeling of shame,” she recalled, describing how the incident became widely known at school and church, yet little emotional support followed. Despite the trauma, Midgley completed high school and later studied business and tourism, persevering through academic setbacks to earn two diplomas. The conversation explored how those early experiences eventually led Midgley toward helping others. After years working in accounting and IT, she unexpectedly became a foster parent after a teenage neighbour asked to live with her and her then-husband. That experience introduced her to the realities of neurodiversity, youth trauma and the complexities of New Zealand’s mental health and care systems. Over time, Midgley became heavily involved in mental health advocacy and education, eventually teaching Mental Health First Aid courses across New Zealand. She explained the training focuses on helping everyday people recognise distress, respond empathetically and safely support someone experiencing a mental health crisis. “A lot of it is learning how to listen to understand, rather than listening to respond,” she said during the programme. Midgley also discussed the importance of directly asking someone if they are suicidal when warning signs are present, a conversation many people fear having. She stressed that empathy, calmness and genuine presence can make an enormous difference during moments of crisis. Alongside her mental health work, Midgley now volunteers as a first responder with ambulance services, motivated in part by gratitude toward the paramedics who saved her life after her teenage overdose. See omnystudio.com/listener [https://omnystudio.com/listener] for privacy information.