The Default Parent

Love Them Anyway: You Don't Have to Change People to Love Them

You love them. You also find them exhausting. As a first responder wife, you're already pouring from every direction — the last thing you need is to spend what's left trying to change someone who didn't ask to be changed. In this episode, Judy unpacks why we pour so much energy into fixing the people we love, why it never actually works, and how to fully accept someone as they are without letting them drain you dry. Love and limits were always meant to coexist — this episode shows you how.

Feeling your feelings

You've heard "feel your feelings" — but nobody tells you how. This episode walks you through the actual step-by-step process your brain needs to move through emotion and finally let it go.

Part 2: Interview with Julie Sanchez

Part 2 of the interview with my sister Julie Sanchez. She asks the questions I don't always get asked. We talk about raising kids in a firefighter family, losing yourself in the life, and the mindset shift that changed everything for me. Real, honest, and a little bit funny — because that's just us.

Tables Turned: An Interview with Julie Sanchez

This week I'm joined by my sister Julie Sanchez for a candid conversation about what it actually looks like to be married to a firefighter. We cover staying connected across shift schedules, the transition when he comes home, being seen for the work you do at home, and learning to stop outsourcing your sense of connection. Plus some sister banter you didn't ask for but are getting anyway.

The Adult Tantrum

Ever go from zero to a hundred over shoes not being picked up-and then wonder what just happened to you? In this episode, we're talking about the adult tantrum: why it happens, what your brain is actually doing in those moments, and why it has nothing to do with being a bad mom or a bad wife.