When Your Marriage Feels More Like a Roommate Situation

How Echoes of Your Childhood Affect Your Marriage

What do your earliest childhood experiences of attachment have to do with the way you interact with and relate to your spouse?  A whole lot, turns out.  In this episode we'll cover the 3 different types of attachment styles and how yours affects your marriage, as well as 3 common types of parental dynamics I've observed in my practice that can have an outsized impact on the way kids relate to their future spouses, communicate, and cope with relational tension. If anything in this episode strikes a chord for you and you're interested in finding an EMDR therapist who can help you work through past trauma, so you can show up more as the person you want to be in your current marriage, you can learn more about what EMDR therapy is or find a certified EMDR therapist in your area at emdria.org.

Being Goofballs Together & The Art of Using Humor in Marriage

Maintaining a sense of playfulness in marriage is so important, and the skillful use of humor can be a superpower that helps keep your relationship healthy and vibrant.  In this episode, Rachel talks about three kinds of humor that can pop up in marriage, what function they each have, and how to incorporate more of the the right kinds of humor that bring you closer and keep your friendship going strong.

A Couple's Guide to Surviving the World Cup

The World Cup is coming — and if one of you is a die-hard fan and the other is just trying to get through the month, this episode is for you. Rachel brought in her husband Stephen (a former college soccer coach and certified soccer obsessive) to talk through what it actually looks like to navigate a big sports season — or any major time commitment — without resentment building up on either side. Whether you're the one counting down the days until kickoff or the one quietly wondering how long this whole thing lasts, you'll walk away with practical tools, honest conversation starters, and a game plan you can both feel good about. In this episode: * Why the World Cup is genuinely different from other sports events — and why that matters to your spouse * What the sports-loving partner actually needs (hint: it's not just permission to watch) * How to renegotiate household rhythms so one person isn't carrying the full load * The role of symbolic reciprocity — and why it matters more than perfect division of labor * How to handle the emotional fallout when your spouse's team loses

I Just Caught My Husband Using Porn. Now What? (with Cori L. Page, IMFT, CSAT)

You didn't expect to find it. And now you can't stop thinking about it. If you've just discovered your husband is using porn, you're probably feeling betrayed, confused, and unsure what to do next. In this episode, I sit down with Cori Page, licensed Independent Marriage and Family Therapist (IMFT) and Certified Sex Addiction Therapist (CSAT), to bring you the clarity and compassion you need right now. We talk about why this hits so hard, how to tell the difference between occasional use and something compulsive or addictive, what you actually need to know, and the next steps for rebuilding trust. We also cover something important: this is not your fault — and his porn use may not even be about what you think it's about. If you're trying to find your footing after a painful discovery, this episode is for you.

The 5 Situations that a Couples Therapist Can’t Really Help

Some marriage problems aren't fixed by better communication skills or a good therapist — they require something else entirely first. In this episode, Rachel gets honest about the five situations where couples therapy either won't work or isn't the right first step: domestic violence, unresolved infidelity, active addiction, personality disorders, and complex trauma. You'll learn why jumping straight into couples work in these situations can actually make things worse — and what needs to happen instead. Whether you're in the thick of one of these situations yourself or watching someone you love struggle, this episode will help you name what you're dealing with and find the right kind of help. Resources and hotlines mentioned in this episode are listed at vibrantmarriage.co/podcast - look for Episode 18.