Why We Constantly Feel Torn: The Science Behind Competing Values in Motherhood

Too Much Advice, Too Many Decisions, and the Quiet Loss of Self Trust

Motherhood often feels overwhelming, not just because it is hard, but because of how many voices are constantly telling mothers what to do, how to do it, and what is at stake if they get it wrong. In this episode, I explore why every mother feels behind, why decision making feels so heavy, and how too much advice slowly erodes a mother’s ability to trust her own voice. From pregnancy through early motherhood and beyond, mothers are surrounded by opinions, expectations, research backed recommendations, and cultural pressure, all layered on top of exhaustion, uncertainty, and deep love. This conversation is not about fixing anything or offering parenting advice. It is about naming the experience many mothers are living inside. Decision fatigue, overwhelm, and the quiet loss of self trust that happens when we are trained to look outward instead of inward. If motherhood has ever felt loud, confusing, or like you are constantly second guessing yourself, this episode offers space to pause, reflect, and feel less alone. In this episode, we talk about: • Why motherhood feels overwhelming even when things are going well • How too much advice creates decision fatigue • The role uncertainty plays in maternal overwhelm • Why hearing everyone else’s voice makes it harder to hear your own • How self trust erodes when decisions are driven externally • The connection between overwhelm, people pleasing, and regret • What it means to stand behind your decisions as a mother If this episode resonates with you and you want to share your story anonymously, you can do so on our website. Your experience matters and you are not alone. Visit: www.bemomyourway.com

She Thought Time Away From the Kids Would Feel Freeing... It Didn’t

What happens when you finally get space from the people you love most, and instead of feeling rested, you feel off? In this episode of Be Mom Your Way, I unpack a story from a twin mom who spent ten days away from her toddlers and was surprised by how deeply unmotivated, flat, and unsettled she felt. Through a relatable behavioral science lens, we explore how distance can change the value of what matters to us and how motivated and connected we feel. We talk about satiation and deprivation, why motivation can drop when structure disappears, and how not avoiding but allowing for discomfort can lead to powerful clarity about connection, purpose, and identity in motherhood. If you’ve ever wondered why some rest doesn’t always feel restorative, or why being away from your kids can bring up unexpected emotions, this episode offers language and insight without guilt or fixing. Want to share something you’re sitting with? You can submit a story, experience, or question completely anonymously at BeMomYourWay.com, and I may explore it in a future episode.

How I Stopped Caring What People Might Think (+ The Twins’ First Birthday Story)

In this episode, Jess shares the story behind her twins’ first birthday party — the moment she almost shrunk herself to avoid “what people might think,” and the breakthrough that changed everything. If you’ve ever toned yourself down, worried you were “too much,” or replayed imaginary conversations in your mind before you even walked into a room, this episode will hit home. Jess breaks down the mom-mind spiral of predicting other people’s reactions, the pressure to perform for an audience that isn’t even real, and the resentment that builds when we dim our joy for the sake of others’ imagined opinions. This is a conversation about self-trust, mom identity, emotional freedom, and learning to show up fully — especially in the moments that matter most. You’ll walk away with perspective shifts you can use immediately the next time you feel that familiar “What will people think?” voice creeping in. ✨ Want more content like this? Visit BeMomYourWay.com Connect on Instagram: @bemomyourway Keywords: mom guilt, people pleasing moms, stop caring what people think, mom identity, motherhood confidence, self-trust, being “too much,” aligning with your values, mom podcast, motherhood mindset

Why We Constantly Feel Torn: The Science Behind Competing Values in Motherhood

Competing values are one of the hardest internal experiences in motherhood. It’s the moment when two things you care deeply about pull you in opposite directions — and there’s no option that feels fully “right.” These moments don’t happen because you’re doing something wrong. They happen because multiple parts of your identity matter at the exact same time. In this episode, you will learn • what competing values actually are • why your nervous system reacts so strongly in these moments • how values conflict affects identity, decision-making, and emotional regulation • why guilt increases when both options matter • how values collisions show up in everyday motherhood • what to do when you feel torn between your needs and your child’s • how to move through these moments with clarity instead of self-blame If you want to see this mapped out visually and begin practicing the Inner Work tools you hear about on the podcast, download the free Inner Work Starter Pack at bemomyourway.com.

Repair: The Fourth Phase of the Inner Work of Motherhood

Repair is the fourth and most complex phase of the Notice, Regulate, Align, Repair protocol. This step is where your inner work becomes visible in your behavior. Repair is not about fixing everything, apologizing constantly, or pretending the moment never happened. It is the next values aligned action you choose after a moment that did not reflect the mother or the person you want to be. In this episode, you will learn • what Repair actually means in motherhood • why this step is harder than the others • the two forms of Repair, with others and with yourself • how Repair supports identity and self trust • how Repair fits inside the larger Inner Work of Motherhood Framework • how to move from internal awareness to intentional behavior • what Repair looks like in real life during real stress If you want to see this protocol mapped out visually and practice it in real moments, download the free Inner Work Starter Pack at bemomyourway.com.