Feeling shameful about sexual experiences, ft. my first college hookup story

Feeling shameful about sexual experiences, ft. my first college hookup story

Guys, what an experience that was! My first college hookup and it was....definitely not perfect, but that's exactly what it needed to be. I'm so proud of myself for kissing someone after two years! In the past, I would have felt shameful, guilty and disgusted after a sexual experience with someone, but now, I can walk away with a greater sense of understanding for myself & what I'm into. For years, my eating disorder & my sexual abuse dictated how I viewed and felt in my body, and consequently, they impacted my ability to be intimate with others. Now, at 20 years old, I have done so much work on myself (ie. healed my relationship with food & processed my sexual abuse) that a kiss can just be....a kiss! This episode isn't about consent (though, that's of the utmost importance!), but instead it's about the aftermath of the consent. Why do we feel guilty for being intimate with someone? Why do we feel dirty in our body? Intimacy is a wonderful thing, and that skin to skin connection with someone is so important, but unfortunately we can associate negative emotions with it due to our past trauma and general views on our bodies and sex. As always, I can't give you a step-by-step video on how to overcome these feelings of guilt - it's unique to everyone and their history. However, I can tell you my story and it's overarching theme, which is that it get's better and it won't stay the same. You won't feel like this forever; your body will heal, your mind will heal, even if it feels like it never will. I hope you enjoyed today's episode, I hope that you are safe, and if you're not, know that one day you will be. Look after yourself - all my love and appreciation, XXX Lydia ‘Children of Divorce’ is available wherever you get your podcasts, including Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and YouTube Find me on TikTok & Instagram under @childrenofdivorcepod and @lydianathenson

Do it scared, do it alone, but do it.

Oh my goodness guys, wtf is life!!! Why is it so hard sometimes? Why is it so scary? Why do I not know what to do? It's hard out here, and the last thing I'm going to do is pretend I have my shit together - my shit is so far off the porch that it is flying. This episode isn't GOGOGO and do stuff - that's never my goal or intention. I don't think we are going to get anywhere in life with tough love, let's try regular love, no? Instead, I tell you about my experiences the past couple days, and how being open and receptive has allowed me to discover new things about myself/find more clarity in my life. We can be scared, we can feel alone, we can feel tired and drained, but we mustn't let that stop us ever! I'm proud of all of you who keep on keeping on, may you find your peace XXX Lydia ‘Children of Divorce’ is available wherever you get your podcasts, including Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and YouTube Find me on TikTok & Instagram under @childrenofdivorcepod and @lydianathenson

My issue with Ozempic - why the ‘Wicked’ cast disappointed me

Let's talk about the Big O, Ozempic. I am not here to minimize Ozempic's usefulness to people who ACTUALLY need it, but I am here to talk about my frustrations when it comes to promoting weight loss to everybody. Why is this world crazy? Why are so many people brainwashed? Why are we all getting so obsessed with thinness? Speaking as someone who had an eating disorder for ten years, I feel I can both sympathise with those who feel the urge to lose weight, but I also can recognise the need for healthy female role models in the media & perhaps a rebellion against ozempic and thinness? It's like this miracle drug, right? You don't have to do anything and you get to lose weight, and you are now super thin, thinner than you could have imagined, and you get to live your best, thin life? Right? Ok, well I would argue that taking a drug to suppress your appetite so that you lose weight is eating disorder behaviour. That's a LEGALISED drug that is aiding and abetting unhealthy relationships with food and body image. As someone who struggled at the hands of an eating disorder for years, it is so frustrating to see more and more people falling into this very thin body type; if they have to take a drug to be in this body, it's not as glamorous as it really seems. We have to stop glamorising underweight women! I now have food freedom & a healthy relationship with food and my body, and that has brought me more joy and fulfilment in my life than any amount of weight loss ever could. I don't care that I'm considered less beautiful to some people, I don't care that I'm not as thin as I used to be - I know that I am now the role model I wished younger me had had. Be your own role model my guys. And as for the 'Wicked' cast and crew, I am just disappointed that no statement was ever made; I think if you put two allegedly anorexic women on the screen in front of a huge audience and market it so glamorously, you have the due diligence of stating the reality behind their body types, even if it's just for safety reasons!Thank you all for listening to this episode, and if you made it through my rant, congratulations! You all get an extra beijos (that's Portuguese for kiss, I'm trying to learn) Take care!! All my love, Lydia XXX ‘Children of Divorce’ is available wherever you get your podcasts, including Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and YouTube Find me on TikTok & Instagram under @childrenofdivorcepod and @lydianathenson

How I overcame all my addictions

Let’s just say that I have had my fair share of addictions over the years - from weed to toxic relationship dynamics, I am not one to decline that statement.  Today’s episode is not tough love, it is not me yelling at you to just stop - I know that’s not how we quit. Instead, I talk through my individual experiences with addiction and how I (sometimes on purpose) overcame them. I’m not saying that we don’t have control, or that our addiction will just heal itself, but I am saying that you are riding your own individual wave, and you might need to be in the right time and place in order to get off it. Your journey is not going to look exactly like mine, and I can’t tell you exactly how to overcome your specific addiction. This I can tell you though: be kind to yourself, you are trying your best; you will overcome this.  Never admit defeat against your addictions guys - as long as you are thinking about recovery, even if you are not immediately acting on it, you are going in the right direction. I’m proud of you all, and remember, you always have a sober sponsor with me!! All the love, XXX Lydia  ‘Children of Divorce’ is available wherever you get your podcasts, including Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and YouTube Find me on TikTok & Instagram under @childrenofdivorcepod and @lydianathenson

How to get over a boy ft. my Kiss List

I'm not kidding when I said it took me two years to get over a boy I dated for 2 months. It doesn't matter who broke up with who, it doesn't matter how intimate you got, or how much you knew about each other. Sometimes it's just fucking hard to get over a boy, any boy! In today's episode I go over my Kiss List (everyone I've ever kissed) and speak honestly about my experiences with intimacy + all the tips and advice I've learnt from my experiences. You will be able to get over them, I promise, and even if it's just passing time for a while, I'll be here weekly :) Appreciate you all so much, thanks for the love and support! Xxx Lydia ‘Children of Divorce’ is available wherever you get your podcasts, including Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and YouTube Find me on TikTok & Instagram under @childrenofdivorcepod and @lydianathenson