Dating After Divorce: 9 Green Flags to Help You Find a Healthier Partner

Dating After Divorce: 9 Green Flags to Help You Find a Healthier Partner

What if the anxiety you feel about dating again isn't a sign you weren't meant to date, but an invitation to understand yourself more deeply? Like many women over 50, you've built a successful career or raised and launched your children, done the therapy, read the self-help books, and created a meaningful life after divorce — and you still question your intuition when someone new shows up. You don't want to be alone, but you keep attracting the wrong guys and repeating the same relationship patterns. Dating after divorce isn't just about finding someone you're attracted to. It's about learning to recognize relationship compatibility, understanding the difference between chemistry and emotional safety, and knowing whether your body is responding to a real red flag or an old attachment wound asking for attention. That's why nervous system regulation and self-awareness matter just as much as finding the right partner. As a certified somatic experiencing practitioner and coach, and someone who's spent the last eight years navigating dating relationships myself, I'm sharing the lessons that changed what I look for in a partner — the qualities that helped me move beyond chemistry toward a relationship built on honesty, growth, and genuine connection. In this episode, I’ll share: * The 9 green flags not everyone is talking about * What a healthy relationship is actually built on outside of attraction and chemistry * How to tell the difference between a warning sign and an attachment wound that needs healing * Why financial alignment, shared values, and emotional maturity matter more in midlife than most people realize * What relationship green flags look like once early-dating excitement settles * Why secure attachment isn't about finding the perfect partner — it's learning to create safety within yourself and with someone else * Why conflict repair is the #1 predictor of long-term compatibility * How laughter, generosity, and accountability build deeper intimacy * How honest conversations about your past, fears, and intimacy strengthen connection instead of creating distance Finding love in midlife isn't about getting lucky. It's about getting clear on what truly matters, trusting yourself enough to wait for it, and choosing someone who makes you feel loved. Much love and freedom, Laurie Click here [https://www.laurieejames.com/nsregulation-starter-kit] to purchase my “Nervous System Regulation Starter Kit” it’s $29.99 Click here [https://amzn.to/3Y1kX0X] to purchase my book: Sandwiched: A Memoir of Holding On and Letting Go Free Resources Click here [https://bit.ly/LaurieInquiryCall] to schedule a FREE inquiry call with me. Click here [https://notable-apricot-657.myflodesk.com/lfbtylt92w] for my FREE “Beginner’s Guide to Somatic Healing” Click here [https://laurieejames.myflodesk.com/gfgtold] for my FREE “Girlfriends Guide to Online Dating” Click here [https://laurieejames.myflodesk.com/corevalues] for my FREE Core Values Exercise Resources Mentioned in this episode: * Click here [https://insighttimer.com/laurieejames] to join me on Insight Timer for somatic healing practices and guided meditations.  * Somatic Touch Sessions - Click here [https://ljschedule.as.me/schedule/3eab8cf1/appointment/51486809/calendar/8802705]to book an inquiry call if you’re in Los Angeles. * OKCupid Article [https://medium.com/okcupid/why-financial-compatibility-is-the-new-love-language-e893c74c93db]  Connect with me: Website [https://www.laurieejames.com/] Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/laurie.james/] Episodes Mentioned * Dating in Midlife Series -  * 8 Signs You’re Ready to Date and Fall in Love Again in Midlife [https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/confessions-of-a-freebird-midlife-divorce-heal/id1694026063?i=1000643799914] * Overcome Your Midlife Dating Fears: 8 Tips You Can’t Miss [https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/confessions-of-a-freebird-midlife-divorce-heal/id1694026063?i=1000644630906] * 5 Tips to Make Dating Over 50 Fun Again with Carolyn Lee Arnold [https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/confessions-of-a-freebird-midlife-divorce-heal/id1694026063?i=1000644630906] * Why Self-Love And Setting Boundaries Are Important for Succesfully Dating in Midlife [https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/confessions-of-a-freebird-midlife-divorce-heal/id1694026063?i=1000646395599] * Other Dating Podcasts * Overcome Common Dating Challenges and Achieve Emotional Connection with Bernardo Mendez [https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/confessions-of-a-freebird-midlife-divorce-heal/id1694026063?i=1000723858556] * How to Feel Confident and Find a Healthy Relationship Dating in Midlife [https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/confessions-of-a-freebird-midlife-divorce-heal/id1694026063?i=1000728373830] * Financial Alignment - How to Build Financial Security and Confidence with Jennifer Lee [https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/confessions-of-a-freebird-midlife-divorce-heal/id1694026063?i=1000776113416] * Intimacy in Midlife - How Safe Hormone Therapy and Vaginal Health Can Close The Bedroom Gap with Dr. Maria Sophocles [https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/confessions-of-a-freebird-midlife-divorce-heal/id1694026063?i=1000749413636] Please leave me feedback. I cannot respond so if you'd like me to respond, please leave your email [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2182667/fan_mail/new] *********************** DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL, MEDICAL OR PROFESSIONAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT A LICENSED THERAPIST IF YOU ARE EXPERIENCING SUICIDAL THOUGHTS. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN LEGAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT A LICENSED MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL WITH RESPECT TO ANY MEDICAL ISSUE OR PROBLEM.

Divorce Financial Planning: How to Build Financial Security & Confidence with Jennifer Lee

What if your relationship with money started long before you ever had a bank account? Money can be more intimate than sex — yet so many of us fear it, avoid it, or feel a desperate need to control it. That relationship often traces back further than we realize: your first interaction with money, how your parents managed theirs, or whether you were ever trusted to make financial decisions of your own. If you're in midlife and find yourself as the non-moneyed spouse, or wondering whether you'll truly be okay on your own — this episode is for you. In this episode, I sit down with Jennifer Lee, financial advisor and founder of Modern Wealth, for a grounded, honest conversation about men and women in transition, money, identity, divorce, loss, and what it actually takes to understand what you have and build a life within your means. We talk about the deeper story behind your relationship with money — the patterns, roles, and unspoken fears that surface the moment finances enter the conversation. This episode is designed to help you create enough clarity to stop avoiding the numbers and start making financial decisions rooted in your values and what you actually want. In this episode, you'll learn: * How to identify your money story — and the patterns it may have quietly created * Why your earliest money memories still shape your financial choices today * How divorce financial planning brings clarity to one of life's hardest transitions * The most important factors to understand before and during a divorce * What to ask before choosing a financial advisor * Why the non-moneyed spouse needs a seat at the financial table * How to divide marital assets and retirement accounts — and what a QDRO (Qualified Domestic Relations Order) is and when to start that process * What it looks like when money becomes a form of control in relationships * How financial literacy builds lasting confidence with money * What wealth building can look like after a major life transition * Why money conversations matter when dating, partnering, or starting over Whether you're preparing for divorce, rebuilding your financial independence, or learning to trust yourself with money again — this conversation is a reminder that you don't have to know everything to begin making more empowered choices. Much love and freedom, Laurie Click here [https://www.laurieejames.com/nsregulation-starter-kit] to purchase my “Nervous System Regulation Starter Kit” it’s $29.99 Click here [https://amzn.to/3Y1kX0X] to purchase my book: Sandwiched: A Memoir of Holding On and Letting Go Free Resources Previous Episode with Jennifer Lee - Understanding Divorce and How to Prepare for A Strong Financial Future [https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/confessions-of-a-freebird-midlife-divorce-heal/id1694026063?i=1000673418725] Click here [https://bit.ly/LaurieInquiryCall] to schedule a FREE inquiry call with me. Click here [https://notable-apricot-657.myflodesk.com/lfbtylt92w] for my FREE “Beginner’s Guide to Somatic Healing” Click here [https://laurieejames.myflodesk.com/corevalues] for my FREE Core Values Exercise Connect with me: Website [https://www.laurieejames.com/] Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/laurie.james/] Connect with Jennifer: Website [https://modern-wealth.com/] Linkedin [https://www.linkedin.com/in/jennifer-lee-awma%C2%AE-aif%C2%AE-1b5aa56] Discussions  in this show should not be construed as specific recommendations or investment advice. Always consult with your investment professional before making important investment decisions. Securities offered through Registered Representatives of Cambridge Investment  Research, Inc., a broker-dealer, member FINRA/SIPC. Advisory services offered through Cambridge Investment Research Advisors, Inc., a Registered Investment Advisor. Modern-Wealth, LLC and Cambridge are not affiliated. Please leave me feedback. I cannot respond so if you'd like me to respond, please leave your email [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2182667/fan_mail/new] *********************** DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL, MEDICAL OR PROFESSIONAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT A LICENSED THERAPIST IF YOU ARE EXPERIENCING SUICIDAL THOUGHTS. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN LEGAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT A LICENSED MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL WITH RESPECT TO ANY MEDICAL ISSUE OR PROBLEM.

Your Midlife Makeover: How to Wake Up, Stop Abandoning Yourself, and Find More Freedom with Wendy Valentine

What if hitting rock bottom in midlife was actually the beginning? When life falls apart at once — a relationship ending, a health crisis, financial debt, or waking up one day completely disconnected from yourself — it's hard to imagine that anything good could come from it. But sometimes the hardest chapters hold the seeds of the most profound transformation. In this episode, I'm joined by Wendy Valentine, host of The Midlife Makeover Show and author of “Women Waking Up: The Midlife Manifesto for Passion, Purpose, and Play.” Wendy opens up about hitting rock bottom in midlife — navigating divorce, debt, health issues, and grief all at once — and what she discovered on the other side. This is a conversation about waking up, choosing yourself, and rebuilding your life from the inside out. With honesty, warmth, and hard-won wisdom, Wendy shares how a midlife crisis can become a midlife invitation — to become more free, more honest, and more fully yourself. In this episode: * Why hitting rock bottom can be the beginning of real and lasting change * Wendy's lotus metaphor and what it teaches us about growth and resilience * How to move from fear and familiar misery toward more freedom * Why self-abandonment is so common in midlife — and how to stop * How negative self-talk shapes the way you see yourself and what to do about it * Why "acting as if" helps you step into the woman you're becoming * How grief, anxiety, and old patterns resurface during major life transitions * The power of giving yourself permission to feel * A simple journaling practice to connect with your next chapter If you've ever felt stuck, overwhelmed, or unsure of who you're becoming — this conversation is your reminder that your story is not over. This may be exactly the part where you begin to wake-up. Much love and freedom, Laurie Click here [https://www.laurieejames.com/nsregulation-starter-kit] to purchase my “Nervous System Regulation Starter Kit” it’s $29.99 Click here [https://amzn.to/3Y1kX0X] to purchase my book: Sandwiched: A Memoir of Holding On and Letting Go Free Resources Click here [https://bit.ly/LaurieInquiryCall] to schedule a FREE inquiry call with me. Click here [https://notable-apricot-657.myflodesk.com/lfbtylt92w] for my FREE “Beginner’s Guide to Somatic Healing” Click here [https://laurieejames.myflodesk.com/corevalues] for my FREE Core Values Exercise Connect with me: Website [https://www.laurieejames.com/] Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/laurie.james/] Connect with Wendy: Website [https://wendyvalentine.com/] Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/hellowendyvalentine/] Please leave me feedback. I cannot respond so if you'd like me to respond, please leave your email [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2182667/fan_mail/new] *********************** DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL, MEDICAL OR PROFESSIONAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT A LICENSED THERAPIST IF YOU ARE EXPERIENCING SUICIDAL THOUGHTS. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN LEGAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT A LICENSED MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL WITH RESPECT TO ANY MEDICAL ISSUE OR PROBLEM.

When a Good Life Feels Heavy: A Somatic Mid-Year Reset for Burnout You Can't Explain

What if the exhaustion you've been carrying isn't a sign that you need to do more — but your body's way of telling you something needs to shift? You can be a founder, a mother, a partner, a caregiver for aging parents, or a woman in midlife building something meaningful — and still find yourself running on fumes. The women I work with love their lives and the people in them. And they still feel their bodies quietly asking for something they haven't been giving themselves. Burnout signs in midlife don’t always announce themselves loudly.. You're still showing up. Still dependable. And underneath that, you feel flat, disconnected, and unsure why a life that looks full on the outside feels so heavy from the inside. For those navigating caregiver burnout — years of holding everyone else together — that heaviness can be especially hard to name. This isn't weakness or a lack of gratitude. A nervous system that has been overriding its own signals for years is doing exactly what it was designed to do. The exhaustion makes sense. And there's a deeper pattern underneath it worth understanding. As a somatic experiencing practitioner, life coach, author, this solo mid-year episode offers a body-based reset through the lens of somatic experiencing and nervous system regulation. I share a piece of my own burnout story, explain what's happening biologically when meaningful work quietly becomes depleting, I walk you through simple somatic practices you can use today, and offer journal prompts to help you listen to your nervous system before it forces you to stop. In this episode, I’ll share: * Why burnout takes hold even when your life is full of things you genuinely love — and what's happening in your nervous system when it does. * How your body communicates through chronic tension, fatigue, emotional flatness, and low-grade dread long before it shouts. * Why pushing through disconnects you from your purpose, your values, and your own clarity. * What somatic experiencing is, why it works, and how it's different from every other approach to stress and burnout you've tried. * Three simple somatic practices to bring you back to the present moment through the felt sense. * Three journal prompts to help you honor your first half and set a soulful intention for the next six months. Burnout recovery doesn't begin with doing more. It begins with slowing down, coming home to your body, and choosing the second half of this year from a more grounded and stable place. Much love and freedom, Laurie Connect with me: Click here [https://laurieejames.myflodesk.com/midyearckin26] to download your FREE Mid-Year Check-in Click here [https://www.laurieejames.com/nsregulation-starter-kit] to purchase my “Nervous System Regulation Starter Kit” it’s $29.99 Click here [https://amzn.to/3Y1kX0X] to purchase my book: Sandwiched: A Memoir of Holding On and Letting Go Free Resources Click here [https://bit.ly/LaurieInquiryCall] to schedule a FREE inquiry call with me. Click here [https://notable-apricot-657.myflodesk.com/lfbtylt92w] for my FREE “Beginner’s Guide to Somatic Healing” Click here [https://laurieejames.myflodesk.com/corevalues] for my FREE Core Values Exercise Website [https://www.laurieejames.com/] Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/laurie.james/] RESOURCES MENTIONED: Midyear Reflection Journal Prompts [https://laurieejames.myflodesk.com/midyearckin26]: A set of questions to honor what you’ve carried in the first half of the year, name what feels out of alignment, and choose one soulful intention for the months ahead. Beginner's Guide to Somatic Healing [https://laurieejames.myflodesk.com/bgtsh]: A body-based approach to working with the nervous system, developed by Dr. Peter Levine, that supports releasing stored stress so you can move through life with more regulation, presence, and ease.  Please leave me feedback. I cannot respond so if you'd like me to respond, please leave your email [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2182667/fan_mail/new] *********************** DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL, MEDICAL OR PROFESSIONAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT A LICENSED THERAPIST IF YOU ARE EXPERIENCING SUICIDAL THOUGHTS. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN LEGAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT A LICENSED MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL WITH RESPECT TO ANY MEDICAL ISSUE OR PROBLEM.

How Micro Breaks Can Help Women Manage Stress and Digital Overload with Dr. Mary Donohue

Have you ever noticed how hard it is to step away from your phone… even when your  mind and body is asking for a break? The texts, notifications, social media scrolling, and constant pressure to respond to that email can leave you  feeling wired, distracted, and disconnected from yourself. Your mind may say, “Just one more thing,” while your body is quietly tightening, bracing, or whispering that it needs space. And if you’ve been pushing through for years — caring for everyone else, managing work, family, caregiving, and the invisible weight of modern life — you are not broken. Your body may simply be responding to a world that rarely rewards you how to pause. In this episode, I sit down with Dr. Mary Donohue, founder and CEO of the Digital Wellness Center, whose work blends neuroscience, behavior, and technology. After living with chronic leukemia, caregiving stress, and surviving a heart attack, Mary began looking more closely at digital wellness and how constant connection affects the brain, body, and our ability to pause. Together, we talk about digital overload, micro breaks, nervous system regulation, social media anxiety, and stress-related illness. Mary shares why even a small pause can help your body settle and give you more space before you respond. In this episode, you’ll learn: * Why midlife women may be especially vulnerable to chronic stress  * How women over 50 can begin noticing the subtle body cues they’ve learned to override * What micro breaks can offer when your mind and body feel overstimulated * How social media anxiety can quietly shape your mood, focus, and sense of calm * How a simple 3 minute micro break can help you regulate you emotional well-being. * The connection between technology and mental health in our everyday choices * How your nervous system staying in a low-grade activation (fight or flight response) can show up without you even knowing it. I * Why giving back, connecting with others, and creating more joy can help you feel more grounded * How technology can become part of the solution when it is designed with human well-being in mind This conversation is a gentle reminder that the pace of your life may be asking more of your body than it was ever meant to hold. You don’t have to wait until you’re exhausted, anxious, or completely overwhelmed to give yourself a pause. Sometimes one small moment of space is enough to help you start hearing what your body and brain have been trying to tell you all along. With love and freedom,   Laurie Click here [https://www.laurieejames.com/nsregulation-starter-kit] to purchase my “Nervous System Regulation Starter Kit” it’s $29.99 Click here [https://amzn.to/3Y1kX0X] to purchase my book: Sandwiched: A Memoir of Holding On and Letting Go Click here [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CBqlDWHkdHk] to watch the Barbie clip referenced in this podcast Free Resources Click here [https://bit.ly/LaurieInquiryCall] to schedule a FREE inquiry call with me. Click here [https://notable-apricot-657.myflodesk.com/lfbtylt92w] for my FREE “Beginner’s Guide to Somatic Healing” Click here [https://laurieejames.myflodesk.com/corevalues] for my FREE Core Values Exercise Website [https://www.laurieejames.com/] Connect with Dr. Mary Donohue:  Victoria on LinkedIn: Dr. Mary Donohue Victoria's email: drmaryedonahue@gmail.com  RESOURCES MENTIONED: Digital Wellness Center: Founded by Dr. Mary Donohue, this science-backed platform helps people manage digital stress, take healthier microbreaks, and build more balanced technology habits.  Message Received: A book written by Dr. Mary E. Donohue, offering a practical seven-step framework for breaking down communication barriers at work, especially across email, digital tools, video calls, remote teams, and generational communication styles.  The Happiness Lab: A podcast hosted by Yale professor Dr. Laurie Santos that shares science-backed insights for improving well-being.  How to Win Friends and Influence People:  A classic book by Dale Carnegie that shares practical principles for building stronger relationships, improving communication, and positively influencing others.  How to Stop Worrying and Start Living: A book by Dale Carnegie that shares practical lessons and real-life stories for managing worry, finding purpose, and living with more peace.  Please leave me feedback. I cannot respond so if you'd like me to respond, please leave your email [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2182667/fan_mail/new] *********************** DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL, MEDICAL OR PROFESSIONAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT A LICENSED THERAPIST IF YOU ARE EXPERIENCING SUICIDAL THOUGHTS. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN LEGAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT A LICENSED MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL WITH RESPECT TO ANY MEDICAL ISSUE OR PROBLEM.