118. What Does it Mean to be a Protector?

119. HYPERFOCUS BONUS: There is crying in both baseball and Regency era England

Is there crying in baseball? As it turns out, yes. And Marcus tells the tale of how he learned you absolutely cannot weaponize a legendary player’s emotional farewell against a rival team’s fan base, no matter how much they might deserve it.  Also, Esme reveals the two key lessons at the heart of the Other Bennet Sister: 1) Mary Bennet doesn’t need to be featured in a rapid-fire montage in which she tries on multiple dresses – she’s fine the way she is; and 2) everybody can use a little bit of Indira Varma in their lives. Visit our website: crazytogetherpod.com [http://crazytogetherpod.com] Support us on Ko-fi: https://ko-fi.com/C0C216B887 [https://ko-fi.com/C0C216B887]  Contact us: https://www.crazytogetherpod.com/contact [https://www.crazytogetherpod.com/contact] Our theme music * Midnight—Declan DP [Audio Library Release] Music provided by Audio Library Plus Watch:    • Midnight — Declan DP | Free Backgroun... [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eM4k2HNgnDo&t=0s]  Free Download / Stream: https://alplus.io/midnight-declan-dp [https://www.youtube.com/redirect?event=video_description&redir_token=QUFFLUhqbGZ0T2g0LVBjZkxERXFYbElNNDFSUktIdFJzUXxBQ3Jtc0tuT08zVW90bVJuYW1VcWJlUlZlRlVESkpCNGhrellrbEwyeEFrbUZVbUJ3Z2hFUkFTdEFVci1uMjdPbXhCcUVXV2RXalRwYzRtTnBCdWtKUnY2T0YtVkpndnB4TlJLWU5sUTRudkU3TWZDckdyX2NzZw&q=https%3A%2F%2Falplus.io%2Fmidnight-declan-dp&v=eM4k2HNgnDo]

118. What Does it Mean to be a Protector?

“Do you really think you’re tougher than Hall of Famer Mike Schmidt or Lord of Winterfell, Ned Stark?” This is the seemingly nonsensical question Marcus and Esme pose to their male listeners in this week’s episode (Please note: This question will make sense once you listen to the episode). One of the central tenets of traditional masculinity is that men must be protectors and providers for their families. This is not a bad impulse in-and-of itself. Men should want to take care of the people they care about. However, manosphere grifters like to use the concept of being a protector to justify aggressive, domineering, and violent behaviors and attitudes towards women. The problem with this framing is that men – specifically husbands, boyfriends, and fathers - are the leading perpetrators of violent crime and homicide against women and children globally. In other words, these traditional beliefs might lead men to become the antithesis of protectors. But, Marcus and Esme still think that being a protector is a good impulse; and they identify two things men can do to help them become the kind of protectors who partner with their loved ones to ensure their families’ physical and emotional safety. Now, some men won’t like it when they hear what this two-step process entails. But this is when those same men must ask themselves the very peculiar question from the top of the description (which, again, will make sense once you listen to the episode . . . promise).  Visit our website: crazytogetherpod.com [http://crazytogetherpod.com] Contact us: https://www.crazytogetherpod.com/contact [https://www.crazytogetherpod.com/contact] Sources for this episode include: * World Health Organization. Child Maltreatment. 8 May 2026, https://www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/child-maltreatment [https://www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/child-maltreatment].  * United Nations Office on Drugs and Crime, and UN Women. Gender‑Related Killings of Women and Girls (Femicide/Feminicide): Global Estimates of Female Intimate Partner/Family‑Related Homicides in 2022. UNODC & UN Women, 2023, https://www.unwomen.org/sites/default/files/2023-11/gender-related-killings-of-women-and-girls-femicide-feminicide-global-estimates-2022-en.pdf [https://www.unwomen.org/sites/default/files/2023-11/gender-related-killings-of-women-and-girls-femicide-feminicide-global-estimates-2022-en.pdf].  * Gračanin, Asmir, et al. “Is Crying a Self-Soothing Behavior?” Frontiers in Psychology, vol. 5, 2014, p. 502, doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2014.00502. PubMed Central, PMCID: PMC4035568, https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC4035568/ [https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC4035568/].  * Millings, Abigail, et al. “Holding Back the Tears: Individual Differences in Adult Crying Proneness Reflect Attachment Orientation and Attitudes to Crying.” Frontiers in Psychology, vol. 7, 2016, p. 1003, doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2016.01003. PubMed Central, PMCID: PMC4934120, https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC4934120/ [https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC4934120/].  * Murube, Juan. “Hypotheses on the Development of Psychoemotional Tearing.” The Ocular Surface, vol. 7, no. 4, Oct. 2009, pp. 171–75. Elsevier, doi:10.1016/S1542-0124(12)70184-2.  * Burgess, Lana. “8 Benefits of Crying: Why Do We Cry, and When to Seek Support.” Medical News Today, updated 19 May 2026, https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/319631 [https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/319631].  * Grabmeier, Jeff. “Domestic Violence Often Comes From Men Who Repress Emotions, Feel Threatened, Study Finds.” Ohio State News, 8 Dec. 2002, https://news.osu.edu/domestic-violence-often-comes-from-men-who-repress-emotions-feel-threatened-study-finds [https://news.osu.edu/domestic-violence-often-comes-from-men-who-repress-emotions-feel-threatened-study-finds].  * Petts, Richard J., Chris Knoester, and Jane Waldfogel. “Fathers’ Paternity Leave‑Taking and Children’s Perceptions of Father‑Child Relationships in the United States.” Sex Roles, vol. 82, nos. 3–4, 2019, pp. 173–188, doi:10.1007/s11199-019-01050-y. PubMed Central, PMCID: PMC7030161.  * Noori, Rebecca. “Paternity Leave Benefits: Important But Often Overlooked.” Benepass Blog, 30 May 2024, https://getbenepass.com/blog/paternity-leave-benefits [https://getbenepass.com/blog/paternity-leave-benefits].  Our theme music * Midnight—Declan DP [Audio Library Release] Music provided by Audio Library Plus Watch:    • Midnight — Declan DP | Free Backgroun... [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eM4k2HNgnDo&t=0s]  Free Download / Stream: https://www.youtube.com/redirect?event=video_description&redir_token=QUFFLUhqbGZ0T2g0LVBjZkxERXFYbElNNDFSUktIdFJzUXxBQ3Jtc0tuT08zVW90bVJuYW1VcWJlUlZlRlVESkpCNGhrellrbEwyeEFrbUZVbUJ3Z2hFUkFTdEFVci1uMjdPbXhCcUVXV2RXalRwYzRtTnBCdWtKUnY2T0YtVkpndnB4TlJLWU5sUTRudkU3TWZDckdyX2NzZw&q=https%3A%2F%2Falplus.io%2Fmidnight-declan-dp&v=eM4k2HNgnDohttps://alplus.io/midnight-declan-dp [https://alplus.io/midnight-declan-dp]

117. HYPERFOCUS BONUS: The Joys and the Horrors of Family Game Night

Is the nighttime truly the right time for boardgame-based family fun? For the average person with ADHD, whose attention span is largely dependent on medications they take during the daytime, the answer might be “no.” That’s the conclusion Marcus and Esme have come to after a recent family game night, wherein the O’Kayvious clan attempted to play a new (and surprisingly complex) boardgame for the very first time. Marcus and Esme share their family’s story of perseverance and joy in the face of their dopamine-starved attention spans.  Plus, Marcus recalls a family game night from his childhood when his much, much older siblings roped him into a friendly game of global domination. Would an undiagnosed, unmedicated, and far too trusting Marcus fare well against his brothers, some of whom were old enough at the time to rent cars in foreign countries? And would the outcome of that experience instill in Marcus a lifelong love of board games with sophisticated and context-heavy instructions? (Spoiler alert: No). Visit our website: crazytogetherpod.com [http://crazytogetherpod.com] Support us on Ko-fi: https://ko-fi.com/C0C216B887 [https://ko-fi.com/C0C216B887]  Contact us: https://www.crazytogetherpod.com/contact [https://www.crazytogetherpod.com/contact] Our theme music * Midnight—Declan DP [Audio Library Release] Music provided by Audio Library Plus Watch:    • Midnight — Declan DP | Free Backgroun... [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eM4k2HNgnDo&t=0s]  Free Download / Stream: https://alplus.io/midnight-declan-dp [https://www.youtube.com/redirect?event=video_description&redir_token=QUFFLUhqbGZ0T2g0LVBjZkxERXFYbElNNDFSUktIdFJzUXxBQ3Jtc0tuT08zVW90bVJuYW1VcWJlUlZlRlVESkpCNGhrellrbEwyeEFrbUZVbUJ3Z2hFUkFTdEFVci1uMjdPbXhCcUVXV2RXalRwYzRtTnBCdWtKUnY2T0YtVkpndnB4TlJLWU5sUTRudkU3TWZDckdyX2NzZw&q=https%3A%2F%2Falplus.io%2Fmidnight-declan-dp&v=eM4k2HNgnDo]

116. Don’t Walk Away: An Unlikely and Refreshingly Positive Story About Life with Dementia

What if our assumptions about the inner lives of loved ones who are living with Alzheimer’s and dementia are wrong? What if the people we love are still very much there?  These are the questions raised by today’s guest, Marilyn Raichle. Marilyn is author of Don’t Walk Away: A Care Partner’s Journey, a powerful and uplifting memoir about her experience as her mother’s care partner while she was living with dementia. She is also one of the most genuine and lovely people you’d ever want to talk to. While the idea of caring for a loved one with dementia or Alzheimer’s can feel daunting or even heartbreaking, Marilyn’s story is one of hope, love, and understanding. It’s also a story about the power of creative expression. Marilyn describes how her mother, June, took up painting later in life, and how June’s creations helped Marilyn get to know her mother better, and remember that the woman she had always known and loved was still there. Marilyn Raichle is the founder of The Art of Alzheimer’s, an organization that celebrates the creativity of people living with dementia and the power of the creative arts to enrich and empower their lives. She is also the Executive Director of Maude’s Awards for Innovation in Alzheimer’s Care.  To learn more about Marilyn – or to purchase her beautiful book – please visit her website: https://dontwalkaway.net/ [https://dontwalkaway.net/]  You can, as always, visit our website: crazytogetherpod.com [http://crazytogetherpod.com] Contact us: https://www.crazytogetherpod.com/contact [https://www.crazytogetherpod.com/contact] Our theme music * Midnight—Declan DP [Audio Library Release] Music provided by Audio Library Plus Watch:    • Midnight — Declan DP | Free Backgroun... [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eM4k2HNgnDo&t=0s]  Free Download / Stream: https://www.youtube.com/redirect?event=video_description&redir_token=QUFFLUhqbGZ0T2g0LVBjZkxERXFYbElNNDFSUktIdFJzUXxBQ3Jtc0tuT08zVW90bVJuYW1VcWJlUlZlRlVESkpCNGhrellrbEwyeEFrbUZVbUJ3Z2hFUkFTdEFVci1uMjdPbXhCcUVXV2RXalRwYzRtTnBCdWtKUnY2T0YtVkpndnB4TlJLWU5sUTRudkU3TWZDckdyX2NzZw&q=https%3A%2F%2Falplus.io%2Fmidnight-declan-dp&v=eM4k2HNgnDohttps://alplus.io/midnight-declan-dp [https://alplus.io/midnight-declan-dp]

115. HYPERFOCUS BONUS: Esme goes Full Hepburn and Marcus takes on Bloodsport

Esme battles an old foe en route to restoring the O’Kayvious household’s gardens to their former glory: the sun. Will cosplaying as an ultra-refined Bryn Mawr graduate give her the tactical edge she needs? Also, Marcus courts controversy by revealing the one thing Donald Trump does right – if you’re going to re-watch the 1988 martial arts masterpiece Bloodsport, you really should fast forward through all the unnecessary dialogue. Visit our website: crazytogetherpod.com [http://crazytogetherpod.com] Support us on Ko-fi: https://ko-fi.com/C0C216B887 [https://ko-fi.com/C0C216B887]  Contact us: https://www.crazytogetherpod.com/contact [https://www.crazytogetherpod.com/contact] Our theme music * Midnight—Declan DP [Audio Library Release] Music provided by Audio Library Plus Watch:    • Midnight — Declan DP | Free Backgroun... [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eM4k2HNgnDo&t=0s]  Free Download / Stream: https://alplus.io/midnight-declan-dp [https://www.youtube.com/redirect?event=video_description&redir_token=QUFFLUhqbGZ0T2g0LVBjZkxERXFYbElNNDFSUktIdFJzUXxBQ3Jtc0tuT08zVW90bVJuYW1VcWJlUlZlRlVESkpCNGhrellrbEwyeEFrbUZVbUJ3Z2hFUkFTdEFVci1uMjdPbXhCcUVXV2RXalRwYzRtTnBCdWtKUnY2T0YtVkpndnB4TlJLWU5sUTRudkU3TWZDckdyX2NzZw&q=https%3A%2F%2Falplus.io%2Fmidnight-declan-dp&v=eM4k2HNgnDo]