What the Dying Can Teach Us About How to Live with Alua Arthur

When Grief and Menopause Collide with Zanne Hollingshead

There are seasons in life when everything seems to shift at once. You lose someone you love. Your body begins changing in ways you don't fully understand. Your emotions feel bigger, your energy disappears, your patience thins, and the strategies that used to carry you through life suddenly stop working. Many women blame themselves. They wonder why they can't keep up. Why they feel anxious, overwhelmed, forgetful, exhausted, or unlike themselves. What they often don't realize is that they may be navigating two profound transitions simultaneously: grief and menopause. In this episode of Crying Out Loud, I sit down with Zanne Hollingshead, trauma-informed wellbeing advocate, certified life coach, and founder of Midlife Magic, for a conversation about an intersection that affects countless women yet is rarely discussed. For Zanne, this topic is deeply personal. After losing her mother at age ten and later losing her sister, who had become a second mother to her, she found herself searching for answers about grief, hormones, and the profound ways both shape our emotional and physical well-being. What began as a personal journey became a mission to help other women understand what is happening in their minds, bodies, and hearts during midlife. Together, we explore what happens when grief and hormonal change arrive at the same time. We talk about the sudden waves of rage, the exhaustion that rest doesn't seem to touch, the brain fog, anxiety, overwhelm, and the feeling that you've somehow lost access to the person you used to be. We also discuss why so many women have been left uninformed about perimenopause, how outdated medical messaging has contributed to unnecessary suffering, and what women can do to advocate for themselves and get the support they deserve. Most importantly, this conversation offers a different way of understanding what you're experiencing. Rather than viewing these symptoms as evidence that something is wrong with you, what if they are signals that your body is asking for care, attention, and a new way of living? This is a conversation about loss, hormones, identity, resilience, and self-compassion. It is a reminder that you are not failing. You may simply be carrying more than anyone can see. In This Episode, We Explore: • Why grief and menopause can intensify one another in surprising ways • The symptoms of perimenopause many women overlook or dismiss • How hormonal changes can affect mood, memory, sleep, and emotional regulation • The hidden burden of being "the strong one" • How grief impacts the nervous system and why that matters in midlife • Why so many women feel like they've lost themselves during this season of life • What women need to know about hormone therapy and other forms of support • How to stop fighting your body and start listening to what it may be trying to tell you To learn more about Zanne Hollingshead and her work, visit her website [https://www.growingthroughit.life/?utm_source=ig&utm_medium=social&utm_content=link_in_bio&fbclid=PAZXh0bgNhZW0CMTEAc3J0YwZhcHBfaWQPOTM2NjE5NzQzMzkyNDU5AAGnkegrXQDTLWENRNa3fg1B_2dBdOzWwPXMBiR4e2VLzHxTIxLzzfV2ocYBxVU_aem_as4TxGeLpfK_G3v1s2NP6Q] and/or her menopause community, Midlife Magic [http://www.midlifemagic.community], where she offers education, resources, and community to women navigating midlife.  And if you're moving through grief, heartbreak, or a season of profound change, know that you don't have to do it alone. The Grief Healing Collective [http://drlauraberman.com/griefhealing]offers support, connection, and a community that understands the unique challenges of rebuilding life after loss. If this conversation resonated with you, we'd love to hear from you. Share your thoughts, questions, or story at cryingoutloudpod@gmail.com. Because healing happens in connection. And no one should have to carry life's hardest seasons alone.

The Myth of Normal: What Gabor Maté Wants Us to Understand About Suffering

There are ways we learn to disappear long before we realize we're doing it. Some of us become caretakers. Some become achievers. Some become peacemakers. We learn how to earn love, avoid conflict, meet expectations, and survive the environments that shaped us. Over time, those adaptations can become so familiar that we mistake them for our personalities. But what happens when the cost of staying disconnected from ourselves becomes too high to ignore? In this episode of Crying Out Loud, I sit down with renowned physician, bestselling author, and trauma expert Dr. Gabor Maté for a powerful conversation about trauma, grief, illness, addiction, and the lifelong journey back to ourselves. For more than five decades, Dr. Mate has explored the ways our emotional lives shape our physical health. Through his work in family medicine, palliative care, and addiction treatment, he has witnessed a truth that challenges much of what our culture believes about suffering: many of the struggles we experience as adults are not signs that something is wrong with us. They are adaptations to experiences that once helped us survive. Together, we explore the hidden costs of self-abandonment and the ways unresolved trauma can quietly shape our relationships, our health, our parenting, and our sense of identity. We discuss why so many people carry guilt that does not belong to them, why sensitive children are often misunderstood, and how the pressure to be strong, agreeable, or selfless can disconnect us from our own needs. This conversation also became unexpectedly personal. Just over a year after the death of my son Sammy, I found myself sharing parts of my own story with Gabor. We talked about grief, parenting, guilt, and the questions that haunt so many bereaved parents. What emerged was not a conversation about blame. It was a conversation about understanding. About seeing ourselves through a lens of compassion rather than judgment. What I appreciate most about Gabor's work is that he never asks us to fix ourselves. Instead, he invites us to become curious about the stories we've been living, the wounds we've been carrying, and the parts of ourselves we've learned to leave behind. This episode is an invitation to do exactly that. In This Episode, We Explore: • How childhood adaptations become adult patterns • Why self-abandonment is often mistaken for being "good" • The connection between trauma, stress, and physical illness • Why women disproportionately carry emotional burdens in their bodies • A new way of understanding addiction that moves beyond blame and willpower • The hidden roots of guilt and shame • What highly sensitive children actually need from the adults who love them • How grief can reactivate old wounds and unresolved pain • The difference between healing and simply coping • What it means to reconnect with your authentic self To learn more about Dr. Gabor Maté and his work, visit his website and explore his books, including The Myth of Normal [https://drgabormate.com/book/the-myth-of-normal/], When the Body Says No [https://drgabormate.com/book/when-the-body-says-no/], and In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts [https://drgabormate.com/book/in-the-realm-of-hungry-ghosts/]. His groundbreaking work has helped millions better understand the connections between trauma, health, relationships, and healing.  And if you're navigating grief, loss, or a season of profound change, know that you don't have to do it alone. The Grief Healing Collective [http://drlauraberman.com/griefhealing] offers support, connection, and a community that understands the challenges of rebuilding life after loss. If this conversation resonated with you, we'd love to hear from you. Share your thoughts, questions, or story at cryingoutloudpod@gmail.com. Because healing begins when we stop running from our pain and start listening to what it has been trying to tell us all along.

Past Lives, Soul Contracts & the Afterlife: What Grievers Need to Know with Ainslie MacLeod

What if the people we love don't disappear when they die? What if the bond continues, even after death? And what if some of the people who have shaped our lives most deeply, including our children, were connected to us long before this lifetime began? In this episode of Crying Out Loud, I sit down with psychic, spiritual teacher, and bestselling author Ainslie MacLeod for a conversation that challenged the way I think about grief, loss, and the soul's journey. For more than 25 years, Ainslie has helped people understand the deeper purpose behind their struggles, relationships, fears, and life experiences through the lens of past lives and soul evolution. But this conversation is not just theoretical. Two years ago, Ainslie and his wife Christine experienced every parent's worst nightmare when their daughter India died by suicide. Together, we talk about what helped them survive the unimaginable, why grief affects each of us so differently, and what Ainslie's work has taught him about what happens after we die. We explore the possibility that our souls travel together across lifetimes, that our deepest fears may have roots beyond this life, and that the people we miss most may still be far closer than we realize. Ainslie also shares why he believes the universe holds no judgment for those who die by suicide, how he and Christine stayed connected through their grief, and what he has learned from thousands of readings about the enduring nature of love. Along the way, I share a story about Sammy that still takes my breath away and reminds me why I believe our loved ones continue to find ways to reach us. Whether you are curious about past lives or simply longing for reassurance that your connection to your loved one has not ended, this conversation offers hope, perspective, and a different way of understanding loss. In this episode, you'll discover: • Why two people can experience the same loss and grieve in completely different ways • What Ainslie believes happens to us after death • Why the universe holds no judgment for those who die by suicide • How he and his wife survived the loss of their daughter without losing each other • The surprising stories children sometimes tell about choosing their parents before birth • How soul agreements may shape our closest relationships • Why certain fears, phobias, and emotional wounds may not begin in this lifetime • What karma really is and why it has nothing to do with punishment • Why talking to your loved one after they die may be more healing than you realize • What thousands of readings have taught Ainslie about the connection between souls • How meaning can emerge from devastating loss without minimizing the pain • Why love may be the one thing death cannot touch If you've ever found yourself wondering where your loved one is, whether they can still hear you, or whether you'll see them again, this episode is for you.

I’m Not a Mourning Person: The Long Goodbye No One Talks About

Kris Carr has spent more than two decades helping millions of people navigate illness, fear, healing, and uncertainty. As a bestselling author and one of the most recognizable voices in wellness, she has inspired people around the world while living with Stage 4 cancer herself. But when her father was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, Kris found herself facing something entirely different: the long, slow heartbreak of anticipatory grief. In this deeply honest episode of Crying Out Loud, Kris opens up about the years between diagnosis and goodbye, the emotional exhaustion of loving someone while knowing you are losing them, and the conversations so many families are terrified to have until it’s too late. Together, we talk about what happens when grief begins long before death, why caregiving can stir up old wounds and unexpected rage, and how loss changes not only your heart, but your body, memory, identity, and nervous system too. Kris shares the moment she realized that real love sometimes means being willing to sit beside someone and talk openly about dying. We also explore the loneliness many dying people quietly carry, even when surrounded by people who love them deeply. I also share my own experience after losing Sammy, including the moment on the beach that shifted how I understood presence, grief, and continued connection forever. This conversation is ultimately about what it means to truly show up for the people we love, how grief reshapes us long before and long after death, and why love does not disappear when someone leaves this physical world. In this episode, we explore:• What anticipatory grief really feels like when you are living beside illness every day• Why caregiving and grief can awaken old trauma, rage, and emotional exhaustion• The conversations about death most families avoid and why they matter so much• How grief impacts the nervous system, memory, body, and sense of identity• What it means to continue a relationship with someone after they die• Why grief changes form over time, but love never truly leaves If this episode moves you, check out Kris's book I'm Not a Mourning Person [https://www.amazon.com/Im-Not-Mourning-Person-Emotions/dp/1401970060]. You can find her on Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/crazysexykris/] and listen to her speaking online. As always, I'd love to hear from you. Share your story or send your questions to cryingoutloudpod@gmail.com [cryingoutloudpod@gmail.com]. And if you're looking for a place to connect with people who truly understand, the Grief Healing Collective [https://drlauraberman.com/griefhealing] is there for you. None of us were meant to carry this alone. Let's cry out loud together.

When Falling Apart Leads to True Healing

Why does it feel like the more healing work you do, the harder life hits back? You've done the therapy. You've meditated. You've read the books. You've "done the work." And then life hits you with a pandemic, a friend's suicide, a divorce, and a toddler, all in the same week. So now what? In this episode of Crying Out Loud, I sit down with Devi Brown, a meditation teacher, podcaster, author of Living in Wisdom, and a self described wounded healer. Devi has spent over a decade studying healing traditions from around the world, but nothing could fully prepare her for the cascade of loss she experienced during the pandemic. What she discovered, in her own words, is that when you stop trying to tape the pieces back together and instead let yourself shatter completely, something miraculous happens: you meet God in the rubble. Devi is warm, radically honest, and refreshingly un precious about pain. She doesn't promise that meditation will make it all go away. Instead, she offers a guide for staying present, feeling the feelings society tells you to hide, and finding tiny, daily moments of joy even when your heart is at the bottom of the ocean. In this episode, I also share my own journey of losing my son Sammy and then navigating my eldest child's suicidal crisis, and how that "assignment" forced me to finally build a relationship with God. Devi and I explore why the original wound is always the root, why awareness is only the first step, and how mudras  can unlock energetic channels you didn't even know were closed. In this episode, we explore: * What it's like to lose a friend to suicide and a marriage in the same week while parenting a toddler during a pandemic * Why the more healing work you do, the harder life sometimes seems to hit back * The difference between self esteem and self worth, and why worth cannot be earned * How to outsource your emotional safety from people to God even if you weren't raised with faith * The tiny joys practice and how a leaf, a copper dish, and sunlight through smoke can save your life * Why your original wound is the queen bee and how healing it dissolves everything else * The trap of intellectualizing your feelings instead of actually feeling them in your body * What mudras are and how simple hand positions open energetic channels you didn't know were closed * Why meditation often makes you angry or restless at first and why that's actually a good sign * The difference between chasing happiness and recognizing enoughness * How bearing witness to deep sorrow creates more capacity for real joy * What it means to be a wounded healer and why God sometimes commands you to be on your knees * The guilt and surrender of watching a child struggle with suicidal thoughts after already losing another child * Why you don't need to know what God looks like to start a real relationship with the divine * What it feels like when advanced meditation becomes deeply pleasurable and even euphoric Devi Brown is someone who has done the work  not the performative kind, but the real, on-your-knees, let-it-all-shatter kind. You can find Devi Brown on Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/devibrown/], tune into her Deeply Well Podcast [https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/deeply-well-with-devi-brown/id1458578448], or join the Presence app for her daily meditations. Her new book, Living in Wisdom [https://www.amazon.com/Living-Wisdom-Embodying-Developing-Self-Mastery/dp/1538768224], is available on Amazon [https://www.amazon.com/Living-Wisdom-Embodying-Developing-Self-Mastery/dp/1538768224]. If you are seeking community, don’t forget the Grief Healing Collective [https://drlauraberman.com/griefhealing] is there for support, connection, and hope. If this episode moves you, share your story or send your questions to cryingoutloudpod@gmail.com [cryingoutloudpod@gmail.com]. None of us are meant to walk these roads alone—let’s feel, heal, and awaken together.