My Grief Does Not Always Look Like Sadness | Dead Dads Podcast | Grief Support for Men

The Raw Reality of Watching My Father Choose MAID | Dead Dads Podcast | Grief Support for Men

In this episode of Dead Dads, Matty Woods talks about losing his dad to prostate cancer, medical assistance in dying, anticipatory grief, and the celebration of life that followed. Hi Dad, Nigel had just died when Matty came to the Dead Dads studio. This is one of the most powerful real life stories we’ve had on Dead Dads. Matty is still in the rawest part of grief: fresh, early, and still finding the words. For men who are losing your dad, dealing with loss, watching a parent die from cancer, or trying to understand grief that does not follow any rulebook, this episode is for you. Nigel Woods spent nine years living with prostate cancer, which he renamed “MDS,” because apparently even cancer needed a nickname. He wrote letters to his grandkids. He recorded videos for his friends. And when he chose MAID, medical assistance in dying, he gave his family one final impossible gift: a goodbye on his terms. In Canada, MAID can be a loaded, emotional, deeply personal choice. For Nigel and his family, medical aid in dying meant a deliberate goodbye. Dying with dignity. A final day shaped by family, humor, love, and one very respectable glass of scotch. A real goodbye. The kind most of us do not get. Matty came into the studio fresh from emceeing a 1,200-person celebration of life for his dad. He talks about Nigel’s two rules for the event: no sadness, and a shot of scotch before you walk in. He talks about anticipatory grief, the long goodbye, and the strange feeling of being “lucky it hurts this much.” This is a conversation about losing a parent to cancer, medical assistance in dying, MAID Canada, grief and loss, grief support for men, father loss, mental health, family legacy, and the father son relationship that keeps shaping you after your dad dies. If your dad died recently, years ago, or you are walking through this with him right now, you are not alone. Welcome to the club no one wants to join. 🎧 In this episode, you’ll hear about: Why losing your dad can feel painful and strangely lucky What anticipatory grief feels like after years of illness How one family handled MAID and medical assistance in dying What dying with dignity looked like for Nigel’s family Why Matty’s dad wanted scotch, not sadness, at his celebration of life How grief shows up when the goodbye is planned but still impossible What losing a parent to cancer teaches you about love, legacy, and mental health How the father son relationship shapes you after your dad dies Why “What would Nig do?” became a way to keep his dad close 👨‍👦 About Matty and his dad, Nigel Matty Woods lost his dad, Nigel, after a nine-year experience with prostate cancer. Nigel was funny, proud, stubborn, generous, and deeply loved. He wanted his final days to reflect how he lived: with family, humor, dignity, and a decent glass of scotch. In this episode, Matty talks about what it was like to say goodbye, host a huge celebration of life, and start figuring out who he is without his dad physically here. It is a conversation about father loss, cancer, MAID, grief, pride, family, and the weird little moments that show up after someone dies. Also, yes, there are laughs. Because grief is weird like that. Rude, honestly. ⏱️ Episode chapters 0:00 – “1,200 People, One Shot of Scotch” 3:00 – Nigel’s Rules for His Celebration of Life 6:30 – “I’m Lucky It Hurts This Much” 7:30 – Prostate Cancer and Dark Humor 12:00 – Anticipatory Grief and the Long Goodbye 13:00 – Choosing MAID on His Own Terms 15:00 – The Bluebird Day, the Bridge, and the Scotch 17:30 – Being With His Dad at the End 18:45 – The Plane, the Comet, and “There He Is” 23:30 – Emceeing in Front of 1,200 People 30:00 – “What Would Nig Do?” 32:30 – Why Matty Feels Infinitely Proud 🖤 About Dead Dads Dead Dads is a podcast for men figuring out life after losing their dad. Hosted by Roger Nairn and Scott Cunningham, the show features honest conversations about father loss, grief, identity, family, memory, masculinity, and all the strange stuff that happens after your dad dies. No grief brochure voice. No tidy healing arc. Just real conversations for guys who are grieving, remembering, avoiding, laughing, carrying on, or trying to understand what losing a father did to them. You’re not alone. ☕ If Dead Dads has helped you feel a little less alone, consider buying us a coffee: https://buymeacoffee.com/deaddadspodcast Follow Dead Dads: Website: https://www.deaddadspodcast.com/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@deaddadspodcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/deaddadspodcast/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@dead.dads.podcast Substack: https://substack.com/@deaddadspodcast And listen to us here, or wherever you enjoy podcasts: Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/4WWlXBPzgj151SFYRUZeSB?si=fe005fdf079249b8 Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/dead-dads-podcast-grief-support-for-men/id1867632438 New episodes every week. Dead Dads Podcast is produced with the support of JAR Podcast Solutions, the branded podcast agency that helps organizations build shows people actually want to spend time with. Learn more at https://jarpodcasts.com/

I Lost My Dad 13 Years Ago — Here’s How I Finally Dealt With Father Grief | Dave Genn of 54-40 | Dead Dads Podcast | Grief Support for Men

When does grief get easier after losing your dad? In this episode of Dead Dads Podcast, Dave Genn of 54-40 talks about grief, mental health, father loss, music, creativity, and what actually happens years after your dad dies. Dave got the honest answer from guys who had already been through grief and loss: the hurt does not really dull. It does not become less painful. But it stops being all day, every day. Dave talks about losing his father, Robert Genn, one of Canada’s most beloved painters and creator of The Painter’s Keys. He shares what it was like to watch his dad face pancreatic cancer, mourn the end of his creative life, and leave behind work that still feels alive. This is a raw, honest, and funny conversation about men and grief, dealing with loss, grief support, the healing journey, music and grief, creativity, legacy, and finding out how much your dad is still with you. 🎧 In this episode, you’ll hear about: Why Dave says “when you see your father pass, you’re next” What grief feels like after losing your dad How losing a parent changes your view of mortality How Robert Genn faced pancreatic cancer and the end of his creative life How Dave turned grief into music and creativity Why he rewrote “Crossing a Canyon” after his dad died How La Difference came out of grief and loss The dream where his dad said “everything’s gonna be okay” Why grief does not get less painful, but stops being all day, every day What happened when Dave lost his mom four years later How mental health, atheism, and grief support show up after loss Why mortality is the great leveler 👨‍👦 About Dave and his dad, Robert Dave Genn is the lead guitarist of 54-40, a Canadian rock band that has been together for more than 40 years. His father, Robert Genn, was a painter, writer, teacher, and creative force. Through The Painter’s Keys, Robert reached artists around the world with reflections on art, work, discipline, and the creative life. In this episode, Dave talks about losing his dad, carrying his influence, and turning grief into art without pretending it fixes anything. It is a conversation about father loss, pancreatic cancer, creativity, music, legacy, grief support for men, and what remains after your dad is gone. Also, yes, there are laughs. Because grief is weird like that. Rude, honestly. ⏱️ Episode chapters 0:00 – When Dad Passes, You’re Next 1:37 – Meet Dave Genn 2:02 – Who Robert Genn Was 3:44 – Advice, Dreams, and Songs 5:25 – Pancreatic Cancer Diagnosis 6:37 – Final Months at Home 9:23 – Turning Grief Into Art 11:27 – Aftermath, Work, and Logistics 13:09 – Legacy, Paintings, and Mortality 15:47 – Counting the Years 16:37 – Bandmates and Loss 18:08 – Work as Coping 19:25 – Crossing a Canyon and La Difference 22:33 – Collaboration and Support 24:13 – Grief Over Time 27:56 – Advice for the Moment 28:34 – Nihilism and Apathy 30:14 – The Great Leveler 32:03 – Atheism and the Afterlife 33:19 – Closing and Resources 🖤 About Dead Dads Dead Dads is a podcast for men figuring out life after losing their dad. Hosted by Roger Nairn and Scott Cunningham, the show features honest conversations about father loss, grief, identity, family, memory, masculinity, and all the strange stuff that happens after your dad dies. No grief brochure voice. No tidy healing arc. Just real conversations for guys who are grieving, remembering, avoiding, laughing, carrying on, or trying to understand what losing a father did to them. You’re not alone. ☕ If Dead Dads has helped you feel a little less alone, consider buying us a coffee: https://buymeacoffee.com/deaddadspodcast Follow Dead Dads: Website: https://www.deaddadspodcast.com/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@deaddadspodcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/deaddadspodcast/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@dead.dads.podcast Substack: https://substack.com/@deaddadspodcast And listen to us here, or wherever you enjoy podcasts: Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/4WWlXBPzgj151SFYRUZeSB?si=fe005fdf079249b8 Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/dead-dads-podcast-grief-support-for-men/id1867632438 New episodes every week. Dead Dads Podcast is produced with the support of JAR Podcast Solutions, the branded podcast agency that helps organizations build shows people actually want to spend time with. Learn more at https://jarpodcasts.com/

How I’m Dealing With Grief 20 Years After My Father Died | Dead Dads Podcast | Grief Support for Men

How do you deal with grief 20 years after losing your dad? In this episode of Dead Dads Podcast, Mike Wasko talks about grief and loss, father loss, caregiving, therapy, bereavement, and what long-term grieving actually looks like. Mike’s dad, Bob, died 20 years ago. He is still figuring out what that means. At 29, Mike became his father’s primary caregiver after a cancer diagnosis. Then he walked out of a doctor’s appointment knowing something his dad did not, and had to decide what to do with that information. That moment changed everything. Mike talks about losing his dad, what grief looks like two decades later, and why the raw edges may dull, but the loss does not disappear. It shifts. It becomes part of the room. Annoying. But accurate. He also talks about anger, therapy, reconciliation, becoming a dad himself, and the strange way our parents show up in our kids. This is a real conversation about how to deal with grief, coping with grief and loss, grief support, dealing with death, men’s grief, family, caregiving, and why grief is not something you get over. It is something you learn to live around. If you are years out from losing your dad and still feel it, this episode is for you. If you are just starting, this is what 20 years of living with father loss can look like. It gets different. Maybe even better. 🎧 In this episode, you’ll hear about: What long-term grief can look like 20 years after your dad dies How losing your dad changes over time What it feels like to become your father’s caregiver at 29 Why Mike had to carry information his dad did not know How therapy helped him deal with grief and reframe the loss Why grief can be understood as the cost of loving someone What happens when you become a dad after losing yours How your father can show up in your children Why grief is not something you get over Mike’s crater analogy for coping with grief and loss 👨‍👦 About Mike and his dad, Bob Mike Wasko lost his dad, Bob, after a cancer diagnosis when Mike was 29. Bob was larger than life. Intimidating. Funny. Tough. Unconventional. The kind of dad who left a mark, whether you were ready for it or not. In this episode, Mike talks about becoming his father’s caregiver, repairing their relationship before Bob died, and carrying his dad’s influence into his own life as a husband and father. It is a conversation about father loss, cancer, caregiving, therapy, grief support for men, parenting after loss, and the strange ways our dads stay with us. Also, yes, there are laughs. Because grief is weird like that. Rude, honestly. ⏱️ Episode chapters 0:00 – Who Is Mike Wasko? 1:21 – Mike Joins the Pod: 20 Years of Grief 2:34 – Why He’s Talking About It Now 4:23 – Meet Bob Wasko: “Larger Than Life” 6:23 – Tough Love and Unconventional Fun 7:25 – The Diagnosis and a Secret to Keep 13:34 – Moving In With His Dying Dad 15:12 – The Falling Out and Reconciliation 18:16 – Anger, Therapy, and “The Cost of Loving Someone” 24:50 – Becoming a Dad and Finding His Father in Himself 29:10 – His Kids Ask Why Grandpa Died 31:37 – Approaching the Age His Dad Died 32:28 – The Crater That Never Fills 35:35 – Final Thoughts and Where to Follow 🖤 About Dead Dads Dead Dads is a podcast for men figuring out life after losing their dad. Hosted by Roger Nairn and Scott Cunningham, the show features honest conversations about father loss, grief, identity, family, memory, masculinity, and all the strange stuff that happens after your dad dies. No grief brochure voice. No tidy healing arc. Just real conversations for guys who are grieving, remembering, avoiding, laughing, carrying on, or trying to understand what losing a father did to them. You’re not alone. ☕ If Dead Dads has helped you feel a little less alone, consider buying us a coffee: https://buymeacoffee.com/deaddadspodcast Follow Dead Dads: Website: https://www.deaddadspodcast.com/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@deaddadspodcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/deaddadspodcast/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@dead.dads.podcast Substack: https://substack.com/@deaddadspodcast And listen to us here, or wherever you enjoy podcasts: Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/4WWlXBPzgj151SFYRUZeSB?si=fe005fdf079249b8 Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/dead-dads-podcast-grief-support-for-men/id1867632438 New episodes every week. Dead Dads Podcast is produced with the support of JAR Podcast Solutions, the branded podcast agency that helps organizations build shows people actually want to spend time with. Learn more at https://jarpodcasts.com/

My Grief Does Not Always Look Like Sadness | Dead Dads Podcast | Grief Support for Men

What does grief actually look like after losing your dad? In this Dead Dads Check-In, we talk about the parts of father loss that don’t always get said out loud. The family vacation that feels off without him. The anniversary rituals that keep him close. The question of whether to keep his stuff or get rid of it. Crying in front of your kids. Dad jokes. Garage clutter. Random sayings. All of it. This episode is for men dealing with grief, father loss, and the strange mix of sadness, guilt, humor, memory, and love that comes after your dad dies. If your grief has felt messy, uneven, or unexpectedly funny at times, this one will feel familiar. Dead Dads is hosted by Roger Nairn and Scott Cunningham. If Dead Dads has helped you feel a little less alone, consider buying us a coffee to help cover the studio and marketing costs that keep the show going and get it in front of more men who need it: https://buymeacoffee.com/deaddadspodcast [https://buymeacoffee.com/deaddadspodcast] What you’ll get out of this episode * A more honest picture of what grief can look like after losing a father * A reminder that grief is not just sadness. It can also be guilt, laughter, rituals, and random memories * A way to think about what to keep, and what to let go * Reassurance that grief moves around. It does not show up the same way every day * Permission to cry in front of your kids without feeling weak * A reminder that remembering your dad can happen through small family traditions, not just big emotional moments * The feeling that you’re not the only one whose grief looks messy, uneven, or unexpectedly funny Chapter list 00:00 When your son sees you cry 00:32 Where grief sits right now 01:09 The first family vacation without dad 01:51 How we mark our dad’s anniversary 02:29 Helping your kids remember their grandpa 03:10 Dollar store memories and dad clutter 04:09 The appliances dads absolutely did not need 04:57 First concerts and dads waiting in the car 05:17 Should you keep your dad’s stuff after he dies? 06:37 Is it okay for men to cry? 07:06 Crying in front of your kids after father loss 09:20 Are dad jokes actually funny? 10:25 The expressions every dad repeated to death 10:49 Garage junk, batteries, and classic dad behavior Follow + Connect Website [https://www.deaddadspodcast.com/] YouTube [https://www.youtube.com/@deaddadspodcast] Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/deaddadspodcast/] TikTok [https://www.tiktok.com/@dead.dads.podcast] Substack [https://substack.com/@deaddadspodcast/notes] New episodes every week. Dead Dads Podcast is produced with the support of JAR Podcast Solutions, the branded podcast agency that helps organizations build shows people actually want to spend time with. Learn more at https://jarpodcasts.com/ [https://jarpodcasts.com/]

I Got the Call… and Had to Tell My Family My Dad Died Suddenly | Dead Dads Podcast | Grief Support for Men

John Abreu’s dad died suddenly. There was no will. No clear plan. No neat folder marked “open this when I’m gone,” which would have been nice. Instead, John had to tell his family, make decisions, deal with logistics, and process the fact that his dad was dead at the same time. In this episode of Dead Dads, John shares what it is like to lose a father when nothing is prepared. We talk about the call, the shock, the first few days, and what happens when funeral planning, paperwork, estate questions, and family responsibility show up before your brain has caught up. John also talks about the pressure to be “the strong one.” The guy who stays calm. The guy who tells everyone else. The guy who handles it. That role can land fast. And it can get heavy. This is also a practical conversation about father loss, estate planning mistakes, what happens when there is no will, and why the unfinished conversations with your dad can stay with you longer than you expect. If you are dealing with the loss of a father, supporting someone who is, or trying to prepare your own family so they are not left guessing one day, this episode is for you. 🎧 In this episode, you’ll hear about: * What it is like to get the call that your dad died * How to tell your family someone has died * What the first few days after losing your dad can actually look like * What happens when there is no will or estate plan * How to make decisions when nothing feels clear * Why men often feel pressure to be “the strong one” after loss * How unfinished conversations with your dad can stay with you * Why grief can show up later in parenting * What you can do now so your family is not left guessing * How to think about grief, responsibility, and legacy after your dad dies 👨‍👦 About John and his dad John Abreu grew up between Venezuela and Canada. His father, John Abreu Sr., was a mathematician who believed in discipline, hard work, and being there for his family. He pushed John to think more deeply and expect more from himself, even when John did not fully understand it at the time. In 2022, John’s dad died suddenly with no plan and no will. John had to tell his family and handle what came next. Now he is focused on carrying forward what mattered, while being more open and proactive so the people around him are not left guessing. It is a conversation about father loss, sudden death, grief support for men, estate planning, family responsibility, parenting, and the pressure many men feel to hold everything together after their dad dies. Also, yes, there are laughs. Because grief is weird like that. Rude, honestly. ⏱️ Episode chapters 0:00 – Why Small Moments Hit Hardest 0:23 – What This Podcast Is 1:02 – Why Talking About Losing Your Dad Matters 2:42 – What You Carry From Your Dad 6:01 – The One Sentence That Sticks 7:24 – What You Might Do Differently 8:53 – What It’s Like to Get the Call 12:09 – How to Tell Your Family Someone Died 13:47 – When Responsibility Lands on You 16:27 – What the First Few Days Look Like 17:38 – What Happens Without a Will 19:17 – How to Make Decisions Without Clear Answers 20:14 – What “Doing It Right” Means 21:58 – How to Honor Someone So It Lasts 23:59 – How Grief Changes Over Time 25:45 – How Losing Your Dad Shows Up in Parenting 28:24 – The Questions You’ll Wish You Asked 31:50 – What You Can Do Now to Prepare 33:21 – What Grief Sounds Like Years Later 🖤 About Dead Dads Dead Dads is a podcast for men figuring out life after losing their dad. Hosted by Roger Nairn and Scott Cunningham, the show features honest conversations about father loss, grief, identity, family, memory, masculinity, and all the strange stuff that happens after your dad dies. No grief brochure voice. No tidy healing arc. Just real conversations for guys who are grieving, remembering, avoiding, laughing, carrying on, or trying to understand what losing a father did to them. You’re not alone. ☕ If Dead Dads has helped you feel a little less alone, consider buying us a coffee: https://buymeacoffee.com/deaddadspodcast [https://buymeacoffee.com/deaddadspodcast] Follow Dead Dads: Website: https://www.deaddadspodcast.com/ [https://www.deaddadspodcast.com/] YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@deaddadspodcast [https://www.youtube.com/@deaddadspodcast] Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/deaddadspodcast/ [https://www.instagram.com/deaddadspodcast/] TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@dead.dads.podcast [https://www.tiktok.com/@dead.dads.podcast] Substack: https://substack.com/@deaddadspodcast [https://substack.com/@deaddadspodcast] And listen to us here, or wherever you enjoy podcasts: Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/4WWlXBPzgj151SFYRUZeSB?si=fe005fdf079249b8 [https://open.spotify.com/show/4WWlXBPzgj151SFYRUZeSB?si=fe005fdf079249b8] Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/dead-dads-podcast-grief-support-for-men/id1867632438 [https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/dead-dads-podcast-grief-support-for-men/id1867632438] New episodes every week. Dead Dads Podcast is produced with the support of JAR Podcast Solutions, the branded podcast agency that helps organizations build shows people actually want to spend time with. Learn more at https://jarpodcasts.com/ [https://jarpodcasts.com/]