You’re Not Chasing Sex or Relationships — You’re Chasing Being Chosen

Why Inconsiderate People Hit Such a Nerve

Why do other people feel so exhausting sometimes? This episode uses Buddhist psychology to break down the aversive temperament: the part of the mind that sees flaws quickly, gets irritated by disorder, and can confuse clear perception with contempt. Using examples from beach crowds, Walmart, airports, AA, and public life, Brian explores why some people experience inconsiderate behavior as almost physically intolerable. The episode also looks at why “that’s my alcoholism” can become too small of an explanation after years of sobriety. The deeper work involves understanding temperament, noticing aversion before it becomes disgust, keeping discernment without feeding contempt, and learning how to stop making peace dependent on everyone else acting right.   Check out the website for articles published weekly: www.naplesintegratedrecovery.com [http://www.naplesintegratedrecovery.com] Want to work together? I see psychotherapy clients in Florida: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/brian-granneman-naples-fl/1153470 [https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/brian-granneman-naples-fl/1153470] I also offer accountability, coaching, and sober companion services. Send an email: brian@naplesintegratedrecovery.com [brian@naplesintegratedrecovery.com]

You Knew You’d Regret It. You Did It Anyway.

Why do people keep repeating behaviors they already decided to stop? This episode breaks down the neuroscience behind addictive loops, impulsive behavior, craving, dopamine, the orbitofrontal cortex, salience, tolerance, withdrawal, and why insight alone often does not change behavior. Using a simple cereal aisle example, Brian explains how the brain assigns value before conscious reasoning catches up. The episode also explains why recovery has to begin earlier in the sequence: before access, before negotiation, before the craving peaks, and before the old behavior becomes automatic. The real work involves changing the environment, interrupting the loop, tolerating discomfort, and giving the brain repeated evidence that the old behavior is no longer required. Check out the website for articles published weekly: www.naplesintegratedrecovery.com [http://www.naplesintegratedrecovery.com] Want to work together? I see psychotherapy clients in Florida: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/brian-granneman-naples-fl/1153470 [https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/brian-granneman-naples-fl/1153470] I also offer accountability, coaching, and sober companion services. Send an email: brian@naplesintegratedrecovery.com [brian@naplesintegratedrecovery.com]

How Your Phone Has Rewired Your Nervous System

Phones have become more than tools. They sit on the dinner table, beside the bed, in the bathroom, in the car, in the waiting room, and in the hand before most people even realize they reached for them. This episode looks at how phones became pocket-sized dopamine dispensers, training both kids and adults to escape boredom, silence, discomfort, loneliness, and ordinary waiting. The conversation moves through childhood development, addiction, parenting, recovery, relationships, and attention. Kids are losing real-world practice with play, conflict, boredom, repair, and face-to-face connection. Adults are living in the same loop, checking for relief, stimulation, outrage, reassurance, or escape. The deeper work is learning how to stay present in actual life instead of constantly leaving through a screen. Check out the website for articles published weekly: www.naplesintegratedrecovery.com [http://www.naplesintegratedrecovery.com] Want to work together? I see psychotherapy clients in Florida: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/brian-granneman-naples-fl/1153470 [https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/brian-granneman-naples-fl/1153470] I also offer accountability, coaching, and sober companion services. Send an email: brian@naplesintegratedrecovery.com [brian@naplesintegratedrecovery.com]

Can You Be Honest With a Therapist Who Secretly Judges You?

When therapy becomes filtered through politics, ideology, and online moral performance, clinical curiosity can disappear. This episode looks at how therapists can become too quick to sort clients into moral categories instead of understanding the biography, fear, attachment patterns, trauma, identity, and lived experience beneath their beliefs. The conversation challenges the trend of therapists publicly framing certain political identities as uniquely suspicious or “challenge-worthy.” Therapy requires values, ethics, and accountability, but it also requires restraint, curiosity, and the ability to stay with human complexity without turning the client into a symbol of everything the therapist hates. Check out the website for articles published weekly: www.naplesintegratedrecovery.com [http://www.naplesintegratedrecovery.com] Want to work together? I see psychotherapy clients in Florida: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/brian-granneman-naples-fl/1153470 [https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/brian-granneman-naples-fl/1153470] I also offer accountability, coaching, and sober companion services. Send an email: brian@naplesintegratedrecovery.com

You Don’t Keep Picking the Wrong People. You Keep Working Around the Wrong Things

Most people ask why they keep picking the same kind of person after the pattern has already taken over. The deeper problem usually shows up earlier: what gets minimized, explained away, tolerated, and slowly built around because the chemistry feels strong enough to override judgment. Dating patterns often repeat when attraction, familiarity, and the need to be chosen start replacing clear evaluation of fit, consistency, emotional maturity, and real-life compatibility. This episode looks at why people keep working around red flags, unstable behavior, addiction patterns, emotional inconsistency, and relationships that cost more than they give back. It breaks down the corrective experience trap, the difference between chemistry and fit, why values collapse under pressure, and how people slowly adjust to situations they would immediately recognize as unhealthy if someone else described them. The work is learning to stop negotiating with what you already see. Check out the website for articles published weekly: www.naplesintegratedrecovery.com [http://www.naplesintegratedrecovery.com] Want to work together? I see psychotherapy clients in Florida: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/brian-granneman-naples-fl/1153470 [https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/brian-granneman-naples-fl/1153470] I also offer accountability, coaching, and sober companion services. Send an email: brian@naplesintegratedrecovery.com [brian@naplesintegratedrecovery.com]