Turning Pain into Purpose: A Conversation with Alphonso James

Turning Pain into Purpose: A Conversation with Alphonso James

In this episode of Family Troubles, I sit down with Alphonso James, a speaker, advocate, author, and exoneree who spent 32 years incarcerated for a crime he did not commit. At 17 years old, Alphonso was wrongfully convicted of murder and sentenced to life in prison, but his story is not only about injustice. It is also about resilience, forgiveness, faith, and the difficult inner work of becoming free long before he was physically released. Alphonso shares what it was like to enter prison as a teenager, how he survived solitary confinement, and the moment that began to change the course of his life. We talk about the power of being believed, the role of forgiveness, and how pain, trauma, and rage can either imprison us further or become part of a larger path toward healing. We also discuss what Alphonso’s experience can teach families about estrangement, bitterness, listening, and the possibility of reconciliation. His perspective is deeply moving, especially when he talks about forgiving the people who wrongfully imprisoned him, the cost of holding onto anger, and why sometimes the most healing thing we can offer another person is simply to listen. Listen for more on: • What it was like for Alphonso to be wrongfully convicted at 17 years old • How he survived 32 years in prison while maintaining his innocence • The moment someone finally said, “I believe you,” and why those words changed his life • How Alphonso taught himself to read and began his journey of self-discovery • Why forgiveness does not mean saying that what happened was okay • How bitterness can keep both ourselves and others emotionally imprisoned • What estranged families can learn from Alphonso’s approach to forgiveness • Why listening can be more powerful than advice • How trauma continues even after freedom, healing, and public success • Why true freedom is not only about leaving a physical prison, but breaking the prisons we carry inside ourselves Tune into this episode of Family Troubles for a powerful conversation about wrongful conviction, forgiveness, family, trauma, and what it means to turn pain into purpose. Guest links: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thealphonsojames/ [https://www.instagram.com/thealphonsojames/] LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/the-alphonso-james/ [https://www.linkedin.com/in/the-alphonso-james/] Dr. Joshua Coleman’s Links: Website: http://www.drjoshuacoleman.com [http://www.drjoshuacoleman.com]Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr.josh.coleman [https://www.instagram.com/dr.josh.coleman]Substack: https://substack.com/@joshuacolemanphd [https://substack.com/@joshuacolemanphd]Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrJoshColeman/ [https://www.facebook.com/DrJoshColeman/]LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/drjoshuacoleman/?trk=opento_sprofile_topcard [https://www.linkedin.com/in/drjoshuacoleman/?trk=opento_sprofile_topcard]Twitter X: https://x.com/drjcoleman [https://x.com/drjcoleman] Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCc-olRqS_o2xJlkpxWEEErg [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCc-olRqS_o2xJlkpxWEEErg]

Gender Identity, Therapists and Culture as Paths to Estrangement with Sasha Ayad

In this episode of Family Troubles, I sit down with Sasha Ayad, M.Ed., LPC, a Licensed Professional Counselor who has worked with adolescents for over 19 years and focuses on teens and young adults struggling with gender dysphoria and gender identity. Sasha and I discuss the complicated intersection of gender identity, therapy, adolescence, culture, and family estrangement. We explore why some parents feel shut out of conversations around their child’s identity, how therapists and cultural messages can shape family dynamics, and why curiosity, caution, and emotional nuance matter when families are navigating deeply personal and often polarizing issues. Sasha shares what she has observed through her clinical work with gender-questioning adolescents, as well as her consultations with families and parents. We talk about the importance of psychological exploration, the influence of online communities and cultural narratives, and how families can become divided when disagreement is treated as rejection or harm. Listen for more on: • Why adolescence can be such a complex time for identity development • How gender dysphoria and gender identity questions can affect family relationships • Why some parents feel excluded, blamed, or misunderstood in the therapeutic process • Why disagreement does not always mean rejection • How parents can stay connected when they are scared, confused, or uncertain • How gender identity conversations can become a path to estrangement when families lose the ability to talk openly Tune into this episode of Family Troubles for a thoughtful conversation about gender identity, therapy, culture, and the challenges families face when love, fear, disagreement, and identity collide. Guest links: Podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/1vAnk7bth6WuDDrW48Atce?si=597816e10e514b89 [https://open.spotify.com/show/1vAnk7bth6WuDDrW48Atce?si=597816e10e514b89]Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/widerlenspod/ [https://www.instagram.com/widerlenspod/]YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@SashaLPC [https://www.youtube.com/@SashaLPC] Dr. Joshua Coleman’s Links: Website: http://www.drjoshuacoleman.com [http://www.drjoshuacoleman.com]Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr.josh.coleman [https://www.instagram.com/dr.josh.coleman]Substack: https://substack.com/@joshuacolemanphd [https://substack.com/@joshuacolemanphd]Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrJoshColeman/ [https://www.facebook.com/DrJoshColeman/]LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/drjoshuacoleman/?trk=opento_sprofile_topcard [https://www.linkedin.com/in/drjoshuacoleman/?trk=opento_sprofile_topcard]Twitter X: https://x.com/drjcoleman [https://x.com/drjcoleman] Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCc-olRqS_o2xJlkpxWEEErg [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCc-olRqS_o2xJlkpxWEEErg]

Lindsey and Leslie Glass: How an Estranged Mother and Daughter Reconciled

In this episode of Family Troubles, I sit down with Lindsey and Leslie Glass, a mother-daughter author and advocacy duo, co-founders of Reach Out Recovery, and authors of The Mother-Daughter Relationship Makeover, to talk about addiction, recovery, estrangement, and what it can take for mothers and daughters to find their way back to one another. Lindsey and Leslie bring both personal experience and professional advocacy to this conversation. Through their own story of addiction, separation, repair, and reconciliation, they offer a deeply honest look at how family relationships can go off track, and how healing can still be possible even after years of pain, conflict, or distance. We talk about the complicated emotional terrain between mothers and daughters, the impact of addiction and recovery on family life, and why reconciliation often requires more than love alone. It also takes accountability, boundaries, honesty, and a willingness to see the other person in a new way. Listen for more on: • How addiction and recovery can shape mother-daughter relationships • Why estrangement does not always mean the relationship is over forever • What Lindsey and Leslie learned through their own experience of conflict and reconciliation • Why accountability matters on both sides of family repair • How shame, blame, and old family patterns can keep people stuck • What families can do when love is still there, but the relationship feels broken Tune into this episode of Family Troubles for a moving conversation about addiction, estrangement, recovery, and the possibility of finding your way back to friendship, understanding, and love. Guest links: Website: https://reachoutrecovery.com/ [https://reachoutrecovery.com/]Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/reachoutrecovery/ [https://www.instagram.com/reachoutrecovery/]Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ReachoutRecovery/ [https://www.facebook.com/ReachoutRecovery/] Dr. Joshua Coleman’s Links: Website: http://www.drjoshuacoleman.com [http://www.drjoshuacoleman.com]Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr.josh.coleman [https://www.instagram.com/dr.josh.coleman]Substack: https://substack.com/@joshuacolemanphd [https://substack.com/@joshuacolemanphd]Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrJoshColeman/ [https://www.facebook.com/DrJoshColeman/]LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/drjoshuacoleman/?trk=opento_sprofile_topcard [https://www.linkedin.com/in/drjoshuacoleman/?trk=opento_sprofile_topcard]Twitter X: https://x.com/drjcoleman [https://x.com/drjcoleman] Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCc-olRqS_o2xJlkpxWEEErg [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCc-olRqS_o2xJlkpxWEEErg]

Dating While Estranged: Revealing Personal Details in Early Romantic Involvement with E! Relationship Expert Dr. Darcy Sterling

In this episode of Family Troubles, I sit down with Dr. Darcy Sterling, a NYC-based Licensed Clinical Social Worker, relationship expert, and host of E! Network’s Famously Single, to talk about what it means to date while estranged from a parent, adult child, sibling, or other family member. Estrangement can be painful enough on its own. But when you’re beginning a new romantic relationship, it can raise a whole new set of questions: When do you share it? How much do you say? Will the other person judge you? And how do you talk about something deeply personal without making it the whole story? Dr. Darcy and I discuss the challenges of revealing personal details early in dating, especially when those details involve family conflict, shame, grief, or unresolved relationships. We also talk about vulnerability, emotional pacing, and how to build intimacy without feeling pressured to disclose everything at once. Listen for more on: * When to share family estrangement in a new romantic relationship * Why estrangement can bring up shame, fear, or anxiety in dating * How much personal history to reveal early on * The difference between being honest and oversharing * Why timing matters when discussing painful family experiences * How to protect yourself emotionally while still building trust * What a partner’s response can tell you about their emotional maturity * How estrangement can shape intimacy, vulnerability, and connection Tune into this episode of Family Troubles for a thoughtful conversation about dating, disclosure, and how to navigate new relationships when part of your family story feels difficult to explain. Guest links: Website: https://www.askdrdarcy.com/ Podcast: https://www.askdrdarcy.com/podcast/ [https://www.askdrdarcy.com/podcast/] Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drdarcysterling/ Dr. Joshua Coleman’s Links: Website: http://www.drjoshuacoleman.com [http://www.drjoshuacoleman.com]Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr.josh.coleman [https://www.instagram.com/dr.josh.coleman]Substack: https://substack.com/@joshuacolemanphd [https://substack.com/@joshuacolemanphd]Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrJoshColeman/ [https://www.facebook.com/DrJoshColeman/]LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/drjoshuacoleman/?trk=opento_sprofile_topcard [https://www.linkedin.com/in/drjoshuacoleman/?trk=opento_sprofile_topcard]Twitter X: https://x.com/drjcoleman [https://x.com/drjcoleman] Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCc-olRqS_o2xJlkpxWEEErg [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCc-olRqS_o2xJlkpxWEEErg]

What Does Research Tell Us About Estranged Parents, Siblings and More with Lucy Blake

In this episode of Family Troubles, I sit down with developmental psychologist and family relationship researcher Professor Lucy Blake, whose work has helped shape our understanding of family estrangement, sibling relationships, and family dynamics across the lifespan. We explore why family relationships are often more complicated than the idealized versions we see in culture and social media, and how those expectations can impact both parents and adult children. Lucy shares insights from her groundbreaking research on estrangement, reconciliation, therapy, and sibling relationships. We discuss the importance of context, compassion, and understanding the many factors that shape family experiences over time. Listen for more on: • Why unrealistic family expectations can create pressure and disappointment • What research reveals about the cycles of estrangement and reconciliation • The impact of loneliness, friendship, and community on family relationships • How therapy can help people navigate estrangement without judgment • What sibling estrangement teaches us about family dynamics and perceived favoritism • Why family conflict is rarely as simple as right versus wrong Tune into this episode of Family Troubles for an empowering conversation about family relationships, resilience, and finding a more compassionate way to understand ourselves and the people we love. Guest links: Website: https://www.drlucyblake.com/ [https://www.drlucyblake.com/]Google Scholar: https://scholar.google.com/citations?user=cUEiQNYAAAAJ&hl=en [https://scholar.google.com/citations?user=cUEiQNYAAAAJ&hl=en] Dr. Joshua Coleman’s Links: Website: http://www.drjoshuacoleman.com [http://www.drjoshuacoleman.com]Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr.josh.coleman [https://www.instagram.com/dr.josh.coleman]Substack: https://substack.com/@joshuacolemanphd [https://substack.com/@joshuacolemanphd]Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrJoshColeman/ [https://www.facebook.com/DrJoshColeman/]LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/drjoshuacoleman/?trk=opento_sprofile_topcard [https://www.linkedin.com/in/drjoshuacoleman/?trk=opento_sprofile_topcard]Twitter X: https://x.com/drjcoleman [https://x.com/drjcoleman] Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCc-olRqS_o2xJlkpxWEEErg [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCc-olRqS_o2xJlkpxWEEErg]