FiveStack with Dean Blundell & Zev Shalev
Skeleton With a Wig
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1️⃣ THE CABINET MEETING THAT WASN’T On Tuesday the White House posted that Donald Trump’s six-month physical had “checked out PERFECTLY.” On Wednesday at 11:56 AM the president sat down at his own Cabinet table and proved otherwise. Within the hour he threatened to bomb a US security partner — “Oman will behave just like everybody else or we’ll have to blow them up” — confused Oman with Iran, then confused Venezuela with Iran in the same answer, then claimed America produces double the oil that Russia and Saudi Arabia produce combined, a number that is not real. He looked gaunt. Dean called him a skeleton with a wig. The shoulders sunken, the cadence slow, the pauses long enough that the room had time to wonder whether the sentence was coming. Cardiologist Jonathan Reiner is on the record about “extreme somnolence.” Rick Wilson said it plain on television this morning — the president is dying. Marco Rubio looked at the wall. Pete Hegseth looked at the floor. The Secretary of State responsible for the Iran negotiation and the Secretary of Defense responsible for the war it followed sat shooting darts with their eyes trying to get the president to stop talking. He kept going. Trump told the country that allowing the cameras in was the most transparent thing any administration had ever done. He may well be right. Every American who turned on a television at noon today saw exactly what his staffers have seen for months: the president who leads the free world cannot lead a meeting. 5️⃣ KENNEDY CATCHES SNAKES, BLAMES CIRCUMCISION While the Cabinet meeting unfolded, the US Secretary of Health and Human Services uploaded a video of himself catching two snakes barehanded on Dr. Mehmet Oz’s Palm Beach patio. His wife, Cheryl Hines, can be heard begging him to stop — Bobby, please. Bobby told the camera the snakes were water moccasins, venomous; they were Black Racers, non-venomous; he did not know what he was holding. They were mating, which is why they bit him. Forty-eight hours later the same Bobby Kennedy sat at the Cabinet table and told the country circumcision causes autism, citing two studies whose lead reviewer called their methods “truly appalling.” This is the same Bobby Kennedy who cut the head off a whale and drove it home on his Jeep, who staged a dead bear in Central Park as a bike-accident victim, whose Vice President admitted yesterday he is on the “RFK nutrient diet” but will not say what is in it because “I’ll get in trouble for it.” The pseudoscience used to be a podcast bit. Now it is federal health policy. And the man delivering it does not know a Black Racer from a water moccasin. 4️⃣ TEHRAN TURNS THE INTERNET ON Eighty-seven days after Iran cut its national internet — the longest national shutdown ever recorded — Tehran flipped the switch back on Wednesday. Vice President Mohammad Reza Aref called it “the first step toward free and regulated access,” the word regulated doing the work. A regime does not reopen its country when it has lost. Iran has been letting only 25 ships through the Strait of Hormuz in a 24-hour window against a pre-war average of more than 100 — Tehran controls the tap. Their people will see the videos the regime wants them to see: the 42 US military aircraft downed, the USS Gerald Ford in dry dock for two years, more than two-thirds of US munitions and interceptors in the region depleted. Trump told his Cabinet “we don’t need oil, we don’t need the straits, we don’t need anything.” His allies in Europe and Asia need the straits. Inflation needs the straits. If Trump thinks he forced regime change in Tehran, he is delusional. The new leaders of Iran are the same — if not worse — than the ones before. 3️⃣ ALFONSI WALKS, CBS BURNS Sharyn Alfonsi’s last day at 60 Minutes was Saturday. She left after nearly twenty years at CBS and published a statement today naming editor-in-chief Bari Weiss as the executive who killed her CECOT segment on migrants vanished into El Salvador’s prison system. CBS leadership’s behavior, Alfonsi wrote, was “a deliberate choice to penalize a journalist for refusing to sanitize factually accurate reporting” — “a chilling message to the entire newsroom.” She said she has learned exactly what it costs to hold the line; hold it anyway. Weiss was installed in October by Larry Ellison, Benjamin Netanyahu’s biggest American backer. Ellison’s son David runs Paramount-Skydance, one regulatory approval from buying Warner Bros Discovery and putting CBS News and CNN under one roof with Weiss above both. The Netanyahu interview that aired on CBS a few weeks ago was handpicked by Netanyahu’s office, edited with the prime minister signing off on every syllable. CBS News is no longer CBS News. It is a lobby group for Donald Trump and his friends and a news service for Benjamin Netanyahu. Sharyn Alfonsi went scorched earth on her way out because there was no one left inside the building to fight beside her. 2️⃣ TRUMP HANDS TALARICO A GIFT Within minutes of being declared the Republican Senate nominee in Texas, Ken Paxton — twice indicted on securities fraud, impeached by his own Texas House in 2023, accused of using his office to help a donor who employed his mistress, friend of the pedophile Adam Hoffman whom he helped cut a sweetheart deal, twice unfaithful to his pro-life Christian wife — was met by James Talarico’s first general-election video. “Ken Paxton is the most corrupt politician in America. He embodies the broken political system we’re running against. It’s puppet politicians who serve themselves and their billionaire mega donors instead of serving us. It’s time to come together: the People vs. Ken Paxton.” Talarico is 37, a Presbyterian seminarian, a Texas state representative, and the best Democratic fundraising story in the country — $27 million in the first quarter, more than every Republican Senate candidate in any state combined. He launched the People vs. Paxton Tour tonight at Rich’s Houston, timed to the third anniversary of Paxton’s impeachment. Cook Political Report moved Texas from Likely Republican to Lean Republican within the hour. The Senate Leadership Fund’s $342 million in fall ad reservations did not include Texas at this scale; they planned for Cornyn. Trump may have forced Cornyn off the board, but in doing so he handed Talarico exactly the foe Democrats prayed for. The rescue money for Paxton comes out of Alaska, North Carolina, Maine, and Ohio — the four seats Democrats actually need to take the chamber. Trump handed his party a Texas problem and his opponent a national platform on the same Tuesday night. THE PATTERN Trump is losing his grip. The Cabinet meeting showed a president no longer sharp, no longer coherent, no longer able to recall the names of countries his own military is at war with. He told the room he doesn’t care about November, claiming Paxton’s win shows how much support he really has. He did not see the gift he had just handed Democrats. It is the same shoot-before-you-think instinct he used to start the Iran war he is now losing, the same instinct his acolytes used to pull Sharyn Alfonsi’s CECOT story and run her contract out, the same instinct Bobby Kennedy uses to grab snakes he cannot identify and federal health policy he cannot defend. Every political move has consequences. A president who cannot tell Oman from Iran is not thinking clearly about the consequences of his next one. Day 493. That’s why you need to know sooner. Follow Dean: deanblundell.substack.com [https://deanblundell.substack.com/] Thank you Ellie Leonard [https://substack.com/profile/39376636-ellie-leonard], Leah Anderson [https://substack.com/profile/9962200-leah-anderson], Micheal Scott [https://substack.com/profile/313863550-micheal-scott], Ms.Yuse [https://substack.com/profile/322112054-msyuse], Rachel-We are Renee and Keith [https://substack.com/profile/305439072-rachel-we-are-renee-and-keith], and many others for tuning into my live video! Join me for my next live video in the app. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.narativ.org/subscribe [https://www.narativ.org/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_2]
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