Are You Leading or Losing Yourself? The Truth About Sacrifice and Purpose

Are You Leading or Losing Yourself? The Truth About Sacrifice and Purpose

What happens when sacrifice stops being something you do and becomes who you are? In this powerful solo episode of Got Your SiX, Dr. Traci shares an unexpected story involving her granddaughter, a playground misunderstanding, and a word that sparked an important leadership lesson: sacrifice. What began as a routine parent-teacher conference quickly revealed something much deeper about communication, assumptions, leadership, and the stories we tell ourselves about responsibility. Drawing from her experiences as a military leader, business owner, mother, and grandmother, Dr. Traci explores how sacrifice can serve a meaningful purpose, but also become dangerous when it turns into an identity. Many leaders pride themselves on being the dependable one, the fixer, the person everyone can count on. But what happens when constantly serving others causes you to lose sight of yourself? This episode challenges leaders to examine the difference between purposeful sacrifice and self-erasure. It explores why communication matters more than assumptions, how leaders often treat symptoms instead of causes, and why understanding the "why" behind behavior can transform the way we lead. If you've ever felt the pressure to carry everything, solve every problem, or put yourself last in the name of leadership, this conversation offers a powerful reminder that leadership is not about disappearing for others. It is about serving with purpose while still protecting who you are. In this episode, you’ll discover: * Why sacrifice is one of the most misunderstood concepts in leadership * The leadership lesson hidden inside a simple playground conversation * How assumptions create misunderstandings in teams, families, and organizations * Why communication should always come before reaction * The difference between sacrifice as a choice and sacrifice as an identity * How leaders unknowingly lose themselves through constant responsibility * The hidden dangers of becoming the fixer, helper, or dependable one * Why many high performers tie their worth to what they give away * How military leadership shaped Dr. Traci's perspective on service and purpose * The difference between sacrifice, stewardship, and self-erasure * How to recognize when leadership has become unhealthy * Why purpose-driven sacrifice builds character while purposeless sacrifice creates burnout * Questions every leader should ask themselves about identity and fulfillment * How to lead others without losing yourself in the process We talk about: 00:00 Why leadership begins with responsibility and purpose 01:00 The word that inspired this unexpected episode: sacrifice 02:00 A surprising parent-teacher conference during COVID 03:00 The playground comment that alarmed school administrators 04:00 Why no one asked the most important question 05:00 Military service, deployment, and teaching children about sacrifice 07:00 What leaders can learn from this misunderstanding 08:00 Why communication must come before assumptions 09:00 The many faces of sacrifice in leadership 10:00 When sacrifice quietly becomes your identity 11:00 The danger of always being the dependable one 12:00 Removing titles and roles to rediscover who you are 13:00 Purpose-driven sacrifice versus self-erasure 14:00 The leadership questions every high performer should ask themselves 15:00 Why sacrifice should serve your purpose, not define your identity Resources: * Traci is offering one free month inside one of her three membership communities for listeners of this episode. To claim it, schedule a free 20-minute call using the link in the show notes and include one takeaway from this conversation when you book. This is not a sales call. It is simply to make sure you land in the right group for where you are right now: https://drtraci.erbusinessconsulting.com/book-a-discovery-call [https://drtraci.erbusinessconsulting.com/book-a-discovery-call]    * Battle-Tested Leadership Action Plan: https://drtraci.erbusinessconsulting.com/battle-tested-leadership-action-plan [https://drtraci.erbusinessconsulting.com/battle-tested-leadership-action-plan] Connect with me * Leadership Call: https://www.erbusinessconsulting.com/coaching/ [https://www.erbusinessconsulting.com/coaching/] * LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/dr-traci-55410868/ [https://www.linkedin.com/in/dr-traci-55410868/] * Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrTraciER/ [https://www.facebook.com/DrTraciER/] * Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drtraci_battletested/ [https://www.instagram.com/drtraci_battletested/] * Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/gotyoursixpodcast/ [https://www.instagram.com/gotyoursixpodcast/]   * YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@erbusinessconsulting [https://www.youtube.com/@erbusinessconsulting] * Website: https://www.erbusinessconsulting.com/ [https://www.erbusinessconsulting.com/] * https://drtraci.erbusinessconsulting.com/battle-tested-leadership-action-plan [https://drtraci.erbusinessconsulting.com/battle-tested-leadership-action-plan] #SelfLeadership #WomenInLeadership #EmotionalIntelligence

Why High-Achieving Women Feel Burned Out (And How to Get Out of Survival Mode) | Jenna Wahl

Before you can lead a team, a business, or a family, you have to learn how to lead yourself. In this episode of Got Your SiX, Dr. Traci sits down with entrepreneur, wife, mother, and self leadership coach Jenna Wahl to explore one of the most overlooked leadership skills of all: learning how to reconnect with yourself before burnout, overwhelm, and survival mode take over. Jenna works with career-driven women who appear successful on the outside but often feel disconnected from themselves on the inside. Together, she and Dr. Traci unpack the hidden pressure of balancing entrepreneurship, motherhood, marriage, personal growth, and identity in a world filled with endless expectations and constant noise. This conversation dives into the realities many women silently carry. The pressure to do it all. The guilt that comes from slowing down. The endless stream of advice telling you who you should be and how you should live. Jenna shares how she learned to stop chasing everyone else's expectations, quiet the noise, regulate her nervous system, prioritize what truly matters, and build a life that feels aligned instead of exhausting. If you've ever felt burned out, overwhelmed, overstimulated, or unsure of who you are beneath all the roles you carry, this conversation will remind you that leadership begins with the relationship you have with yourself. In this episode, you’ll discover: * Why self leadership is the foundation of effective leadership * How high-achieving women unknowingly live in survival mode * The hidden connection between burnout, resentment, and overwhelm * Why entrepreneurship and motherhood don't have to compete with each other * How identity shapes the way we lead, parent, and show up in life * Why consuming more information isn't always the answer * The difference between learning and implementation * How social media noise contributes to burnout and self-doubt * The importance of creating space for self-care without guilt * Practical ways to regulate your nervous system and create more harmony at home * Why clarity and prioritization matter more than productivity hacks * How small daily habits create lasting transformation We talk about: 00:00 Leadership begins with how you lead yourself 03:00 Meet Jenna Wahl and her mission to help women reconnect with themselves 04:30 Motherhood, entrepreneurship, and navigating competing identities 06:00 What "having it all" actually means 08:00 Why so many women stop taking care of themselves 09:30 Survival mode, burnout, and resentment at home 11:00 The identities and personas we create to fit expectations 14:00 Why authenticity matters more than perfection 16:00 Rebuilding routines that support your goals and your family 18:00 Self-care, nervous system regulation, and releasing guilt 20:00 The danger of information overload and constant consumption 24:00 Why consuming more can keep you stuck 25:00 The surprising sourdough lesson about confidence and growth 28:00 How to remove noise and trust yourself again 30:00 Burnout, overwhelm, and the power of slowing down 33:00 Jenna's new program for helping women leave survival mode behind 35:00 Presence, gratitude, and noticing the small things 37:00 Why expectations often keep us from growing 41:00 The clarity framework that changed Jenna's life 44:00 Leadership starts with your habits, thoughts, and daily choices Resources: * Traci is offering one free month inside one of her three membership communities for listeners of this episode. To claim it, schedule a free 20-minute call using the link in the show notes and include one takeaway from this conversation when you book. This is not a sales call. It is simply to make sure you land in the right group for where you are right now: https://drtraci.erbusinessconsulting.com/book-a-discovery-call [https://drtraci.erbusinessconsulting.com/book-a-discovery-call] Connect with Jenna  * Website: https://jennawahl.com/ [https://jennawahl.com/] * TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@iamjennawahl [https://www.tiktok.com/@iamjennawahl] * Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/iamjennawahl/ [https://www.instagram.com/iamjennawahl/] * YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@theregulatedmom [https://www.youtube.com/@theregulatedmom] * Jenna’s programs [https://stan.store/iamjennawahl?fbclid=IwRlRTSASUIsJleHRuA2FlbQIxMABzcnRjBmFwcF9pZAo2NjI4NTY4Mzc5AAEekFC_QRWCA53gePXObWbpe2qsuoZbe3xnKIiipmLUlryi0fmjqs26vHzOIik_aem_XunSZSD9gCXyxRU0XXvEYA] Connect with me * Leadership Call: https://www.erbusinessconsulting.com/coaching/ [https://www.erbusinessconsulting.com/coaching/] * LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/dr-traci-55410868/ [https://www.linkedin.com/in/dr-traci-55410868/] * Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrTraciER/ [https://www.facebook.com/DrTraciER/] * Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drtraci_battletested/ [https://www.instagram.com/drtraci_battletested/] * Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/gotyoursixpodcast/ [https://www.instagram.com/gotyoursixpodcast/]   * YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@erbusinessconsulting [https://www.youtube.com/@erbusinessconsulting] * Website: https://www.erbusinessconsulting.com/ [https://www.erbusinessconsulting.com/] * https://drtraci.erbusinessconsulting.com/battle-tested-leadership-action-plan [https://drtraci.erbusinessconsulting.com/battle-tested-leadership-action-plan] #SelfLeadership #WomenInLeadership #BurnoutRecovery

Strength Is Not Silence: Navy Chaplain Steve Mills on Leading Through Grief and Fear, and The Conversations Leaders Avoid

Vulnerability in leadership is the conversation almost no one wants to have out loud. We praise the people who push through, stay strong, and never complain. We hand them the promotion and the pat on the back. And we rarely ask what it is costing them when they finally get home. In this episode of Got Your Six, Dr. Traci sits down with Captain Steve Mills, a retired US Navy chaplain who has spent more than three decades walking beside people through combat, crisis, grief, and now hospice care. Steve has done the death notifications. He has sat in silence with a sailor who just needed someone to be there. He has buried two siblings and built a fort in his backyard to honor his brother. He knows what real strength looks like, and it is not silence. Together they take apart one of the biggest misconceptions in leadership: that strength and suffering always look different. Sometimes the strongest person in the room is simply the one who has learned to hide the pain the best. Steve and Dr. Traci talk about the conversations leaders avoid, starting with the ones they refuse to have with themselves. They get honest about fear, rejection, grief, burnout, and the rising rate of suicide among veterans and the people we lead every single day. This one is raw, real, and no fluff. If you are leading while exhausted, carrying more than people can see, or quietly wondering how much longer you can hold it together, this conversation is for you. In this episode, you’ll discover: * What vulnerability in leadership actually looks like, and why it is a strength and not a weakness  * The conversations leaders avoid most, starting with the ones they will not have with themselves  * Why strength is not the absence of struggle How servant leadership builds trust faster than authority ever will  * What a "ministry of presence" teaches us about showing up for the people we lead  * Why silence feels safe, and how it quietly isolates the people everyone depends on  * How to create emotional safety so honesty is not punished at work or at home  * What grief does when we ignore it, and why Steve says to embrace it instead of avoid it  * The link between leader burnout, mental health, and veteran suicide Simple, science-backed ways to release the pressure: humor, movement, mirror work, and real connection We talk about: 00:00 The conversation most leaders are afraid to have out loud  02:30 Meet Captain Steve Mills: Navy chaplain, firefighter, and hospice chaplain  04:00 "You can't do it alone": the helicopter crash that changed everything  06:30 From a wheelchair to six marathons: Steve's story  08:30 Becoming a Navy chaplain and the leaders who made or broke the mission  11:00 Life in thirds: firefighting, chaplaincy, and hospice  12:30 "Keep walking": the tagline behind the man  15:30 The conversations leaders avoid, and why they start with yourself  17:30 Servant leadership and the fear of being rejected  20:00 Vulnerability in leadership: why we hide it and what it costs  22:00 Silence, processing, and how strong people isolate themselves  25:00 The ministry of presence: being embedded with your people  28:00 The coldest baptism and leading from the front  29:30 Why humor heals and how laughter releases the pressure  31:00 Mirror work: the self work most leaders skip  35:30 Ten minutes of silence: the counseling session Steve never forgot  40:30 What people misunderstand about strength  42:30 Creating environments where honesty is not punished  43:30 "Now is not your time": grief, focus, and the time and place for everything  44:30 When crying is your body releasing the emotion  47:00 Burnout, mental health, and the suicide conversation we keep avoiding  49:00 Anger, faith, and the outlets that keep you whole  53:00 Grief as a gift: sunflowers, Fort Keith, and honoring the people we lose  58:00 Strength is not the absence of struggle: the takeaway  59:00 An invitation to lead with clarity, resilience, and support Resources: * Traci is offering one free month inside one of her three membership communities for listeners of this episode. To claim it, schedule a free 20-minute call using the link in the show notes and include one takeaway from this conversation when you book. This is not a sales call. It is simply to make sure you land in the right group for where you are right now: https://drtraci.erbusinessconsulting.com/book-a-discovery-call [https://drtraci.erbusinessconsulting.com/book-a-discovery-call] Connect with Steve  * Website: https://www.etiw.org/ [https://www.etiw.org/] * Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sdmills [https://www.facebook.com/sdmills] Connect with me * Leadership Call: https://www.erbusinessconsulting.com/coaching/ [https://www.erbusinessconsulting.com/coaching/] * LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/dr-traci-55410868/ [https://www.linkedin.com/in/dr-traci-55410868/] * Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrTraciER/ [https://www.facebook.com/DrTraciER/] * Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drtraci_battletested/ [https://www.instagram.com/drtraci_battletested/] * Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/gotyoursixpodcast/ [https://www.instagram.com/gotyoursixpodcast/]   * YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@erbusinessconsulting [https://www.youtube.com/@erbusinessconsulting] * Website: https://www.erbusinessconsulting.com/ [https://www.erbusinessconsulting.com/] * https://drtraci.erbusinessconsulting.com/battle-tested-leadership-action-plan  #VulnerabilityInLeadership #LeadershipAndMentalHealth #StrengthIsNotSilence

Memorial Day, Mental Health, and the Silent Battles Veterans Fight Every Day

Memorial Day is more than barbecues and long weekends. For veterans, military families, and children raised in homes shaped by war, it carries a weight most people never see. In this deeply personal episode, Dr. Traci opens up about what Memorial Day truly means, sharing stories that go far beyond the battlefield. She reflects on two extraordinary leaders, Desmond Doss and Michael Murphy, whose courage redefined what it means to lead, sacrifice, and serve. She also shares her own family's story, including her father's untreated trauma after the Korean War and how it shaped her understanding of leadership, pain, and generational cycles. This episode is for every veteran still fighting invisible battles. It is for every military family trying to understand the person sitting across from them at the dinner table. It is for every leader who has ever confused resilience with not feeling. You'll walk away with a deeper understanding of what resilience actually is, why veterans struggle to transition out of service, and how redefining leadership after the uniform comes off might be the most important thing we can do to protect the people we've already asked to sacrifice so much. In this episode, you’ll discover: * What Memorial Day actually means for veterans and military families * The story of Desmond Doss and the Hacksaw Ridge battle that redefined courage * How Michael Murphy's sacrifice in Operation Red Wings showed us what real leadership costs * Why resilience is not fearlessness and what it actually looks like in practice * The invisible wounds veterans carry long after deployment ends * Her father's story after the Korean War, and what unresolved trauma does to families * What veterans miss most after leaving service (and it's not what most people think) * How to redefine leadership after military service ends * Why Memorial Day should also honor the veterans we are losing every single day We talk about: 00:00 Welcome and why today's episode is personal 01:00 What Memorial Day really means for veterans and military families 02:00 The invisible battles that come home from war 02:30 Desmond Doss: Leadership, faith, and the courage to keep going back 04:30 What resilience actually is (and what it is not) 05:30 Michael Murphy and the story behind Lone Survivor 07:30 Why real leadership requires sacrifice and what Dr. Traci joined the military 09:00 Her father's story: The Korean War, survival mode, and unresolved trauma 11:00 Veterans losing their lives in silence, and what we can do about it 12:00 What veterans miss most after leaving service 13:30 Redefining leadership after the uniform comes off 15:00 A message directly to veterans: you are not weak and you are not alone 16:00 The community Dr. Traci built and an open invitation to connect 17:30 Closing thoughts: The greatest way to honor sacrifice Resources: * Traci is offering one free month inside one of her three membership communities for listeners of this episode. To claim it, schedule a free 20-minute call using the link in the show notes and include one takeaway from this conversation when you book. This is not a sales call. It is simply to make sure you land in the right group for where you are right now: https://drtraci.erbusinessconsulting.com/book-a-discovery-call [https://drtraci.erbusinessconsulting.com/book-a-discovery-call] Connect with me * Leadership Call: https://www.erbusinessconsulting.com/coaching/ [https://www.erbusinessconsulting.com/coaching/] * LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/dr-traci-55410868/ [https://www.linkedin.com/in/dr-traci-55410868/] * Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrTraciER/ [https://www.facebook.com/DrTraciER/] * Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drtraci_battletested/ [https://www.instagram.com/drtraci_battletested/] * Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/gotyoursixpodcast/ [https://www.instagram.com/gotyoursixpodcast/]   * YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@erbusinessconsulting [https://www.youtube.com/@erbusinessconsulting] * Website: https://www.erbusinessconsulting.com/ [https://www.erbusinessconsulting.com/] #VeteranLeadership #MemorialDayMeaning #LeadershipForgedInFire

Who's Holding You Together When You're Holding Everything Else? Real Talk on Motherhood, Mental Load & Resilience

What does resilience actually look like when life does not slow down for you? In this special Mother's Day episode of Got Your Six, Dr. Traci brings two real women into the conversation for the first time in the show's history. AshLeigh, an IT leader and single mom raising an 11-year-old, and Kristina, an entrepreneur and mother navigating balancing, work, motherhood with her kindergartener and baby son was still in the hospital, sit down together to talk about what it actually means to keep showing up when everything is heavy. This is not a polished conversation about work-life balance. It is an honest one about what women carry quietly, what it costs to be the strong one in every room, and what it feels like to finally stop performing strength and start practicing it. They talk about depression, ADHD, medication, advocating for yourself in a healthcare system that does not always listen, the identity shift of becoming a mother, the pressure of single parenting, what real friendship looks like under pressure, and why finding joy in ordinary moments is not a small thing. It is everything. Because resilience is not built in one big dramatic moment. It is built in the repetition of waking up exhausted and choosing to care anyway. In this episode, you’ll discover: * Why women feel they have to appear strong even when they are completely overwhelmed * What the mental and emotional load of single motherhood actually looks like from the inside * How to advocate for yourself in a healthcare system that does not always hear you * Why being vulnerable with your kids builds trust instead of undermining your authority * The identity shift that happens the moment you become a mother and realize you are now the one who is supposed to know everything * How Kristina's mindset of controlling only what you can control keeps her grounded through uncertainty * Why AshLeigh's journey to finding the right medication for depression and ADHD is a story more women need to hear * What reciprocal energy in friendship actually means and why it does not have to be perfectly equal * How to raise financially responsible kids even when money is genuinely tight * Why the things that cost nothing often create the most meaningful memories for your children * What it looks like to redefine "rich" outside of money and material things * The one takeaway both guests want every listener to walk away with We talk about: * 00:00 Introducing AshLeigh and Kristina and why this conversation matters * 02:00 The pressure women feel to always appear strong and where it comes from * 04:00 The identity shift of becoming a mother and suddenly being the one with all the answers * 07:00 Being honest at work about what you are carrying and why it creates more freedom not less * 09:00 Traci on being a soldier and a mom and never being allowed to show weakness * 12:00 What vulnerability with your kids actually builds in them * 15:00 Single parenting, real conversations with kids, and why shielding them does not serve them * 18:00 Teaching financial responsibility when resources are limited * 20:00 Redefining rich: why happiness and love are the real measure * 22:00 AshLeigh on depression, ADHD, and the long road to finding the right support * 25:00 Why you are allowed to interview your doctor and say no * 27:00 Kristina's mindset: control what you can control and wake up like it is a gift * 28:00 What real best friendship looks like when life gets hard * 30:00 Reciprocal energy and why it does not have to be perfectly even * 32:00 What Traci wants every listener to walk away carrying Resources: * Traci is offering one free month inside one of her three membership communities for listeners of this episode. To claim it, schedule a free 20-minute call using the link in the show notes and include one takeaway from this conversation when you book. This is not a sales call. It is simply to make sure you land in the right group for where you are right now: https://drtraci.erbusinessconsulting.com/book-a-discovery-call [https://drtraci.erbusinessconsulting.com/book-a-discovery-call] Connect with me * Leadership Call: https://www.erbusinessconsulting.com/coaching/ [https://www.erbusinessconsulting.com/coaching/] * LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/dr-traci-55410868/ [https://www.linkedin.com/in/dr-traci-55410868/] * Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrTraciER/ [https://www.facebook.com/DrTraciER/] * Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drtraci_battletested/ [https://www.instagram.com/drtraci_battletested/] * Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/gotyoursixpodcast/ [https://www.instagram.com/gotyoursixpodcast/] * YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@erbusinessconsulting [https://www.youtube.com/@erbusinessconsulting] * Website: https://www.erbusinessconsulting.com/ [https://www.erbusinessconsulting.com/] #MomLife #MentalHealth #WomenLeadership