49 | The Way Out of the Emotional Rollercoaster After Infidelity or Betrayal in Your Marriage And Why It Is Not Another Strategy

49 | The Way Out of the Emotional Rollercoaster After Infidelity or Betrayal in Your Marriage And Why It Is Not Another Strategy

Do you find yourself replaying conversations with your husband trying to figure out what you could have said differently to finally get the response your heart was longing for? Does his bad day become your bad day, his silence your panic, his healing your project and no matter how hard you try to stop this pattern it just keeps showing up? Have you tried every strategy and every technique to get back to peace after a hard moment and found that nothing seems to produce the lasting transformation you are actually longing for? This episode is for the woman who is exhausted from the emotional roller coaster and ready for something more than just another strategy to manage it. In this episode I am naming a very human and very predictable pattern that shows up in every marriage touched by betrayal. When your sense of okayness becomes dependent on another person's choices, behavior, healing, or response, your inner world feels out of control and you find yourself scrambling to gain back control.  The good news is there is a way out. The answer is not to try harder or apply better strategies. The greatest trap in the healing journey is trying to fix yourself or your spouse leaning on self help instead of asking for God's grace to be activated in you. Drawing on Colossians 3:15 "the peace of God as the umpire of your inner world”, this episode offers one simple question followed by a prayer that is the real and lasting way out of this pattern. This episode is practical encouragement to stop seeking more information but instead find true transformation which starts in your own heart first.  RESOURCES AND LINKS MENTIONED * 📖 Colossians 3:15 "Let the peace of God rule in your hearts" * 🎙️ Episode 48 Monday Heart Check [https://theheartwork.podbean.com/e/48-disappointed-by-your-husbands-response-heres-what-to-do-next-as-you-navigate-betrayal/] * 💌 Subscribe to receive a weekly Heart Work Love Letter from Julia [https://patient-field-98518.myflodesk.com/i1a3o0798i] * 🔜 Join the Heart Work Healing Circle Waitlist [https://patient-field-98518.myflodesk.com/heartworkhealingcircle] — A private healing community for women doing the hard holy work of rebuilding after betrayal * ❓ Have a question or topic idea? Ask Julia here [https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1nntyFkbmuSdesIGkibegjGGiU5kKnHkgJF00S36BrG0/edit] CONNECT WITH JULIA AND NEXT STEPS Contact → hello@juliacarlton.com [hello@juliacarlton.com] Podcast → Heart Work After Betrayal on Apple Podcasts [https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/heart-work-after-betrayal-infidelity-marriage-forgiveness/id1868235071] Next Steps: Step 1: Sign up to receive weekly encouragement and practical tools straight to your inbox → Subscribe to my weekly Heart Work Love Letter [https://patient-field-98518.myflodesk.com/i1a3o0798i] Step 2: Have a question or topic idea? → Ask me a question [https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1nntyFkbmuSdesIGkibegjGGiU5kKnHkgJF00S36BrG0/edit] Step 3: Want more personal support? → HEART WORK HEALING CIRCLE ***COMING SOON*** A private healing community for women doing the hard holy work of rebuilding after betrayal in their marriage. Get your name on the waitlist, you will be the first to know when the doors open. → Join the Heart Work Healing Circle Waitlist [https://patient-field-98518.myflodesk.com/heartworkhealingcircle]   DISCLAIMER: This podcast is for informational and encouragement purposes only and is not a substitute for professional therapy or counseling. If you are in crisis please reach out to a licensed mental health professional.

48 | Disappointed by Your Husband's Response? Here's What to Do Next as You Navigate Betrayal

Are you replaying conversations with your husband, wondering what you should have said differently? Do you feel disappointed when his response leaves you feeling unseen, unheard, or misunderstood? Are you exhausted from trying to find the "right" words, hoping they'll finally change his response? After betrayal, one of the hardest moments isn't always the conversation itself but it mostly is what happens afterward when your husband's response isn't what you hoped for. In this Monday Heart Check, we will practice how to help you * stop replaying the conversation * release the urge to control someone else's response * bring your attention back to the one heart God has entrusted it to your care If you've been carrying disappointment, longing to be understood, or feeling stuck in the cycle of striving, this short episode will help you pause, reconnect with God, and begin guarding your heart with wisdom and peace. Connect with Julia Contact → hello@juliacarlton.com [hello@juliacarlton.com] Podcast → Heart Work After Betrayal on Apple Podcasts [https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/heart-work-after-betrayal-infidelity-marriage-forgiveness/id1868235071] Next Steps * 💌 Subscribe to receive a weekly love note from Julia [https://patient-field-98518.myflodesk.com/i1a3o0798i] * 🔜 Join the Heart Work Healing Circle [https://patient-field-98518.myflodesk.com/heartworkhealingcircle] * ❓ Have a question or topic idea? Ask Julia here [https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1nntyFkbmuSdesIGkibegjGGiU5kKnHkgJF00S36BrG0/edit]

47 | 5 Practical Ways to Rebuild Trust After Marriage Betrayal and Infidelity Without Letting Fear Hold You Back

Are you struggling with rebuilding trust after betrayal in your marriage? Do you wish you felt confident again in your own voice? Do you wonder how to reconnect with others again even if you feel like retreating or isolating because of the pain? In this episode I am building on last Thursday's story of the four false beliefs and turning it toward you. Because the renewal of the mind is not the destination. It is the beginning. And what grows from a renewed mind is what I call Leading from the Heart. I am sharing what Leading from the Heart actually is: a heart anchored in God, honest with itself, and clear about its values and needs and five practical everyday ways to begin building it after betrayal: - getting curious instead of judgmental with yourself - saying no to small things - tuning into your body - bringing it all to God - letting yourself be known by safe people This is Part 2 of our rebuilding trust series and it connects directly to Episode 45. If you have not listened to that one yet go back and start there first. RESOURCES AND LINKS MENTIONED * 📖 Romans 12:2 "Be transformed by the renewing of your mind" the foundation of Leading from the Heart * 📖 Renovation of the Heart by Dallas Willard  * 📖 Marshall Rosenberg Basic List of Feelings and Needs [https://nonviolentcommunication.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/07/feelings_needs.pdf] * 🎙️ Episode 44 Monday Heart Check  [https://theheartwork.podbean.com/e/46-sick-of-second-guessing-yourself-after-betrayal-try-this-one-simple-practice-to-start-rebuilding-self-trust-this-week/] * 🎙️ Episode 45 Ready to FInallly Stop Feeling Stuck in Healing From Marriage Betrayal? [https://theheartwork.podbean.com/e/45-ready-to-finally-stop-feeling-stuck-in-healing-from-marriage-betrayal-4-shifts-i-made-that-can-get-you-there/]  -listen to this first! * 💌 Subscribe to receive a weekly love note from Julia [https://patient-field-98518.myflodesk.com/i1a3o0798i] * 🔜 Join the Heart Work Healing Circle [https://patient-field-98518.myflodesk.com/heartworkhealingcircle] Waitlist ❓ Have a question or topic idea? Ask Julia her [https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1nntyFkbmuSdesIGkibegjGGiU5kKnHkgJF00S36BrG0/edit]   CONNECT WITH JULIA AND NEXT STEPS Contact → hello@juliacarlton.com [hello@juliacarlton.com] Podcast → Heart Work After Betrayal on Apple Podcasts [https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/heart-work-after-betrayal-infidelity-marriage-forgiveness/id1868235071] Next Steps: Step 1: Sign up to receive weekly encouragement and practical support → Subscribe to receive a weekly love note from me [https://patient-field-98518.myflodesk.com/i1a3o0798i] Step 2: Have a question or topic idea? → Ask me a question [https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1nntyFkbmuSdesIGkibegjGGiU5kKnHkgJF00S36BrG0/edit] Step 3: Want more personal support? →  HEART WORK HEALING CIRCLE ***COMING SOON*** A private healing community for women doing the hard holy work of rebuilding after betrayal. Come find us → Join the Heart Work Healing Circle [https://patient-field-98518.myflodesk.com/heartworkhealingcircle]

46 | Sick of Second Guessing Yourself After Betrayal? Try This One Simple Practice to Start Rebuilding Trust This Week

Have you been second guessing yourself constantly after the betrayal doubting what you feel, doubting what you sense, wondering whether your perception of reality can even be trusted anymore? Do you find yourself dismissing your own instincts telling yourself you are being paranoid or oversensitive or dramatic even when something deep inside you knows what it knows? Have you been waiting for one big dramatic moment of clarity that tells you it is okay to trust yourself again and wondering why it has not come? In this Monday Heart Check we are continuing our July series on rebuilding trust and today I want to give you the most important truth about self trust that I wish someone had told me sooner. It does not come back all at once. It comes back in small moments. One small honest step at a time. In this episode I am sharing a simple three step practice called One Small Act of Self Trust so you can begin making deposits into your own self trust account this week. Because rebuilding trust in yourself after betrayal is really just the accumulation of evidence that your heart can be trusted. And you start building that evidence one small moment at a time. RESOURCES AND LINKS MENTIONED * 🎙️ Episode 45 | Ready to Finally Stop Feeling Stuck in Healing From Marriage Betrayal? 4 Shifts I Made That Can Get You There [?%204%20Shifts%20I%20Made%20That%20Can%20Get%20You%20There%5D(https://theheartwork.podbean.com/e/45-ready-to-finally-stop-feeling-stuck-in-healing-from-marriage-betrayal-4-shifts-i-made-that-can-get-you-there/)] * 💌 Subscribe to receive a weekly love note from Julia [https://patient-field-98518.myflodesk.com/i1a3o0798i] * 🔜 Join the Heart Work Healing Circle [https://patient-field-98518.myflodesk.com/heartworkhealingcircle] * ❓ Have a question or topic idea? Ask Julia here [https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1nntyFkbmuSdesIGkibegjGGiU5kKnHkgJF00S36BrG0/edit] : CONNECT WITH JULIA AND NEXT STEPS Contact → hello@juliacarlton.com [hello@juliacarlton.com] Podcast → Heart Work After Betrayal on Apple Podcasts [https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/heart-work-after-betrayal-infidelity-magazine-forgiveness/id1868235071] Next Steps: Step 1: Sign up to receive weekly encouragement and practical support → Subscribe to receive a weekly love note from me [https://patient-field-98518.myflodesk.com/i1a3o0798i] Step 2: Have a question or topic idea? → Ask me a question [https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1nntyFkbmuSdesIGkibegjGGiU5kKnHkgJF00S36BrG0/edit] Step 3: HEART WORK HEALING CIRCLE ***COMING SOON*** Join the Waitlist for our private healing community for women doing the hard holy work of rebuilding after betrayal.  → Join the Heart Work Healing Circle [https://patient-field-98518.myflodesk.com/heartworkhealingcircle]

45 | Ready to Finally Stop Feeling Stuck In Healing From Marriage Betrayal? 4 Shifts I Made That Can Get You There

Have you been exhausted from trying to fix your marriage doing everything you can to hold it together and quietly wondering why nothing seems to be working no matter how hard you try? Are you battling the shame of being another Christian couple with infidelity in the story telling yourself this was not supposed to be your testimony and desperately trying to fix it before anyone finds out how broken it actually is? Have you been so focused on him getting fixed, his healing, his recovery, his progress, that you have completely lost sight of what God might be trying to do inside you? This month I am celebrating 25 years of marriage and 5000 podcast downloads and as I reflect on this Sabbath season of rest and gratitude I want to share the moment that changed everything for me. Not when the marriage got fixed. But when I finally stopped trying to fix it and let God renew my mind instead. In this episode I am sharing 4 false beliefs that were keeping me completely stuck after my husband's betrayal and what the renewal of my mind actually looked like for each one. Drawing on Romans 12:2, Dallas Willard's concept of the renovation of the heart, and my own turning point in a support group where I finally saw the pattern I had been living in, this episode is for the woman who is exhausted from fixing outward and ready to let God do something real on the inside. RESOURCES AND LINKS MENTIONED * 📖 Romans 12:2 "Do not conform to the pattern of this world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind”  * 📖 Psalm 51:6 "You desire truth in the inward parts" * 📖 Renovation of the Heart by Dallas Willard : the renovation and reordering of the heart🎙️ Episode 43 —  * 💌 Subscribe to receive a weekly love note from Julia [https://patient-field-98518.myflodesk.com/i1a3o0798i] * 📞 Apply for a 1:1 HEART Reset Coaching Call with Julia [https://calendly.com/juliacarlton-book/60min] * 🔜 Join the Heart Work Healing Circle [https://patient-field-98518.myflodesk.com/heartworkhealingcircle] A private healing community for women doing the hard holy work of rebuilding after betrayal * ❓ Have a question or topic idea? Ask Julia here [https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1nntyFkbmuSdesIGkibegjGGiU5kKnHkgJF00S36BrG0/edit] CONNECT WITH JULIA AND NEXT STEPS Contact → hello@juliacarlton.com [hello@juliacarlton.com] Podcast → Heart Work After Betrayal on Apple Podcasts [https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/heart-work-after-betrayal-infidelity-marriage-forgiveness/id1868235071] Next Steps: Step 1: Sign up to receive weekly encouragement and practical support and be the first to know what's coming! → Subscribe to receive a weekly love note from me [https://patient-field-98518.myflodesk.com/i1a3o0798i] Step 2: Have a question for me or a topic you'd love for me to cover on the podcast? → Ask me a question [https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1nntyFkbmuSdesIGkibegjGGiU5kKnHkgJF00S36BrG0/edit] HEART WORK HEALING CIRCLE ***COMING SOON””" A private healing community for women doing the hard holy work of rebuilding after betrayal in their marriage. Come find us, the link is above.