Are you a mother, or is motherhood your entire identity?

Are you a mother, or is motherhood your entire identity?

We’ve all heard the ultimate South Asian compliment: “She handles everything so effortlessly.” We see women in our families carry entire households, corporate careers, or businesses without a single hair out of place. But behind closed doors, what is that badge of honor actually costing us? In this week’s episode of How Round Is Your Roti?, I sat down with Rakhee Joshi, founder of Maternal Matriarch, a maternal wellbeing platform and app. Rakhee shared her raw, textbook-to-chaotic journey through parenting three kids, navigating postnatal depression, and building a business in the cracks of her life. We dived deep into a concept every ambitious South Asian woman needs to hear: High-Functioning Motherhood. “High-functioning motherhood is when you look like you’re capable. You look like you’ve got everything together... but behind the scenes, you’ve spread yourself really thin.” — Rakhee Joshi Key Takeaways From the Episode: * The “Coping” Front: Why we inflict unnecessary pressure on ourselves just to look like the mom (and business owner) who has it all under control. * The Modern Village Disconnect: Our parents and grandparents raised us in a world with different community dynamics. Trying to mimic their “village” in today’s isolated society is a recipe for silent suffering. * Motherhood is a Role, Not an Identity: When you confuse a temporary role (mother, wife, business owner) with your fundamental identity, you lose your autonomy. * Living in “Windows”: How to build a slow-growing, highly intentional business around your family without running your nervous system into the ground. Rakhee reminds us of a beautiful truth: your children don’t care if your house is pristine or your life looks perfect. They care if you are present. And you cannot be present if you are running on empty. More information see Maternal Matriarch [https://www.maternalmatriarch.com/] Want to build a business that honours your boundaries instead of stealing your sanity? I help South Asian women break free from cultural people-pleasing and build profitable, sustainable businesses. * 👑 Ready for 1:1 Coaching? Book a free Strategy Call here [https://calendly.com/coach-priyamohal/121call] * 👯 Want the community? Join Beyond The Circle Collective Membership here [https://priyamohal.com/btcc/] This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit priyamohalcoaching.substack.com [https://priyamohalcoaching.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_1]

Blending Cultures in Marriage: A Journey of Identity and Growth

I wish I listened to a talk like this before I got married! My guest today Harri Dhokia has had her ups and downs in life, but what is clear from this episode is that she grew stronger and now has a very different outlook on life. In today’s multicultural world, South Asian women often face the challenge of blending cultures in cross-cultural marriages. Harri Dhokia, founder of Unleash the Wolf Within, shares her journey of merging her Gujarati roots with her Punjabi in-laws. Her story offers practical advice for maintaining authenticity while fostering harmony, something that can be very tricky to do. Harri’s marriage in 2020, just before the pandemic, brought unique challenges. The sudden loss of her mother-in-law and the lockdown tested her resilience. Moving to a new environment and navigating language differences added complexity. Harri emphasises the importance of staying true to oneself. She celebrates her Gujarati traditions while respecting her in-laws’ practices. Her advice: set boundaries that honour your beliefs and communicate openly. Maintaining personal identity is crucial. Harri’s decision to keep her maiden name underscores her self-empowerment. She encourages women to prioritise self-care and challenge traditional gender roles. Just because we are married, it shouldn’t wipe away the identity we have built up for ourselves. Times have shifted and by embracing authenticity, women can transform potential conflicts into growth opportunities. I hope you enjoy this episode as much as I did. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit priyamohalcoaching.substack.com [https://priyamohalcoaching.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_1]

Understanding PMDD, A Severe Menstrual Condition

Are you aware of PMDD? As a menstruating person, this was unfortunately not a topic I knew much about, but after seeing Dimple, a mental health pharamcist share some posts online about her lived experience, I wanted to speak with her about this condition to raise awareness. In this candid conversation, we both agree that periods and anything to do with them were not widely shared in South Asian households, so what happens when someone is experiencing symptoms such as fatigue, brain fog, irritability and suicidal ideation every month? Dimple explains what PMDD is, how it differs from PMS, and what steps you can take to get a diagnosis. We also discuss the impact it has on her daily life, including adjustments that support her at work and how she has to plan around her PMDD with her husband. I’m grateful to Dimple for sharing her experience, as we know periods and women’s suffering in general are not always taken seriously by the South Asian community or even doctors, as Dimple experienced. By understanding PMDD and raising awareness, we can break stigma, support each other, and promote better health for women. If you’re experiencing symptoms, don’t hesitate to seek help—you deserve understanding and relief. Below are some resources you may wish to look into, as mentioned on the episode. Resources International Association for Premenstrual Disorders (IAPMD [https://iapmd.org/] Hope: A Guide to PMDD for Partners & Caregivers [https://www.amazon.com/Hope-Guide-PMDD-Partners-Caregivers/dp/B0DC124GZW/ref=sr_1_1?crid=2R1K3WOS143DC&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.o0SeH7HE1AI8u4EAOg_Vvb8g-fQhPkyL7A9A8mjBL32rLVXwy3r8mjEaOUAsuhlf.o9nLk3qZ76X5ONDdXgSrZ4Oyj48BanpPrZYYSxJOGBA&dib_tag=se&keywords=hope+a+book+for+PMDD&qid=1776779350&sprefix=hope+a+book+for+pmd%2Caps%2C713&sr=8-1] Follow Dimple Khatiri on Socials LinkedIN [https://www.linkedin.com/in/dimple-khatiri-94a35731a/] Instagram - thepmddpharmacist [https://www.instagram.com/thepmddpharmacist/] Chapters 00:00 Understanding PMDD: A Deep Dive 04:08 Personal Journey: From Dismissal to Diagnosis 06:43 Life After Diagnosis: Acceptance and Empowerment 08:54 Building Community: Finding Support 12:03 Navigating Relationships: Family and Work Dynamics 14:50 Breaking Stigmas: Cultural Conversations 19:10 Myths and Misconceptions: PMDD vs PMS 22:07 Next Steps: Seeking Help and Support This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit priyamohalcoaching.substack.com [https://priyamohalcoaching.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_1]

The Journey to Divorce: Sonia’s Story

This candid chat with Sonia Gupta highlights the pressure and guilt women face to stay in unhappy marriages, plus the financial implications of leaving, which we don’t often think about at the start of marriages. It may be unromantic, but perhaps we should? Sonia saw her divorce as a new beginning for herself and something to celebrate, which then went viral when the papers called it a divorce party! However, the journey to Sonia’s divorce was not easy or simple; she spent years advocating for it, wanting the support of her parents and working to ensure she could support herself and her two sons. During this time, Sonia felt immense pressure from her family to maintain her marriage: “My mom said, ‘Maybe you should stay home and make roti,’” Sonia shared, echoing the common expectation that women prioritise their roles as wives and mothers over their own happiness, but Sonia chose divorce and put her happiness first, something many women have been discouraged from doing. She now hears regularly from women going through divorce and supports them through the process, because she knows how lonely and isolating it can be, but her advice is not always to go through with it. Listen to the full story to hear about Sonia’s journey. Chapters 00:00 Introduction to Sonia’s Journey 01:48 Cultural Expectations and Personal Struggles 05:26 The Battle for Independence 08:44 Celebrating Freedom: The Divorce Party 12:04 Navigating Parental Expectations 13:28 The Impact of the Divorce Party 18:09 Empowering Women Through Shared Stories 21:37 Cultural Pressures and Financial Independence 24:16 Supporting Women in Transition 28:56 The Importance of Open Conversations 33:50 Looking Ahead: The Upcoming Book Launch About Sonia Relationship and Divorce Mentor and Coach... Redefining Self-Worth in South Asian Relationships. Find out more here: www.itsasoniathing.com [http://www.itsasoniathing.com/] https://www.instagram.com/_itsasoniathing_?igsh=c2xha3RsbDhjcG5w [https://www.instagram.com/_itsasoniathing_?igsh=c2xha3RsbDhjcG5w] https://www.facebook.com/share/1Avue15JdP/ [https://www.facebook.com/share/1Avue15JdP/] This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit priyamohalcoaching.substack.com [https://priyamohalcoaching.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_1]

Overcoming Blocks: A Journey to Self-Discovery

At some point in life, some people may step back from their everyday routines and wonder why things haven’t gone as they planned or why they still aren’t happy. In this episode, I speak to Sarita Babber, who shares her story of self-discovery and how she uses mindset techniques to break through barriers that she never knew were there for most of her life, caught in patterns shaped by childhood conditioning and cultural expectations. As the eldest daughter in her family, she saw and experienced situations differently from her siblings, and this impacted her throughout life. Sarita’s journey from unconscious living to conscious alignment highlights a common challenge: “Your inner world shapes your outer world, and if there’s misalignment between your thoughts, emotions, and energy, life can feel like a constant struggle.” This awakening prompted her to learn more and become an Alignment coach, knowing that more people can benefit from these techniques, just as she has. Sarita discusses the importance of aligning one’s mind, body, and energy to overcome blocks and achieve personal growth. She emphasises the significance of self-reflection, journaling, and various techniques such as Ho’oponopono and affirmations in fostering emotional healing. The conversation also touches on the challenges faced by South Asian women and the need for self-care and community support. Sarita offers practical advice for those feeling stuck and highlights the transformative power of mindset and energy alignment. A useful and interesting conversation, I hope you enjoy it too! Chapters 00:00 Introduction to Alignment Coaching 02:57 Identifying and Overcoming Blocks 05:44 The Journey of Self-Reflection 08:56 Techniques for Healing and Alignment 11:41 Daily Practices for Self-Care 14:25 Transforming Mindset and Energy 17:18 The Importance of Self-Care for Women 20:10 Creating a Supportive Environment 23:07 The Role of Affirmations and Visualisation 26:02 Building a Community for Growth 29:21 Empowering Future Generations 32:12 Conclusion and Final Thoughts About Sarita She is a certified NLP and Transformational Life Coach and brings her life experience to help people realise that it’s not all mindset, but also energy and emotions that we don’t know how to process. These get stuck in our physical body and cause problems, keeping us stuck in various parts of life. Sarita focuses on healing through ho’oponopono, EFT and meditation, NLP to help align with your best version so you are able to manage your energy, emotions and mindset and manifest the life you want to live. https://www.youtube.com/@awakenyourselftoday [https://www.youtube.com/@awakenyourselftoday] The Alignment Blueprint Optin Page [https://awakenyourself.newzenler.com/fp/alignment-blueprint-1] https://www.instagram.com/awakenyourselftoday/ [https://www.instagram.com/awakenyourselftoday/] This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit priyamohalcoaching.substack.com [https://priyamohalcoaching.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_1]