THE CONFIDENCE TRAP THAT STARTS AT 16 AND FOLLOWS YOU ALL THE WAY TO THE TOP - With Rachel Kelly

The CEO who quit to become an intern at 40 - With Alisha Fernandez Miranda

She had the CEO title, the Harvard education, the house in the city of her dreams, the husband, even the French Bulldog with the face for Instagram. So why was she asking: Is that all there is? Alisha Fernandez Miranda is the award-winning author of the USA Today bestselling novel Someone’s Gotta Giv [https://bookshop.org/p/books/someone-s-gotta-give-alisha-fernandez-miranda/e05c8bf39ebb7749]e [https://bookshop.org/p/books/someone-s-gotta-give/d586e7a4370ee1bf] and the memoir My What If [https://www.alishafmiranda.com/my-what-if-year]Year [https://www.alishafmiranda.com/my-what-if-year]. At the age of 40, she made a list of everything she'd always wanted to try, and set out to become… A-40-Year-Old-intern. Believe it or not, this was not easy. Throw in a global pandemic, some well-meaning but tricky-to-impress parents, and logistics of a working mum and you’ve got a near-impossible feat to achieve. Alisha says The scariest bit was starting down this path and not knowing where it was going to end up, and not knowing how I was going to be at the end... I still had to get up every day and go. I was looking for my next internship, emailing people without any clue whatsoever of what the final outcome was going to be, and that was terrifying to me. We also discuss: * How to deal with the guilt of wanting more * The non-refundable ticket approach to confidence * The importance of knowing who to call to boost your confidence For any musical theatre fans, we also bond over Stephen Sondheim. If you’re a fan of the movie Sliding Doors, this one is for you. Listen on the video above or come and find us on apple, spotify [https://open.spotify.com/show/1nsufmZMkAgqstkIBYKeSe?si=88581601f0414e05] and youtube [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCNymJxssxprNgZMhl0mq2_g] Liking, following, re-stacking, sharing, rating, reviewing etc makes a huge difference to this podcast. We’re on apple, spotify [https://open.spotify.com/show/1nsufmZMkAgqstkIBYKeSe?si=88581601f0414e05] and youtube [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCNymJxssxprNgZMhl0mq2_g]. You can also share this episode easily using the button below. To hear more from Alisha, you can visit her website, here [https://www.alishafmiranda.com/]. Or find her on instagram here [https://www.instagram.com/alishafmiranda?igsh=Z29hMDk2eWR4azNw&utm_source=qr]. This episode was produced by my amazing husband. It’s a job he never knew he wanted! If you’d like to support the making of future episodes, you can buy him a coffee: https://buymeacoffee.com/rosiedalling [https://buymeacoffee.com/rosiedalling] By the way, I help C-suite leaders and founders build confident, robust teams. If you want help with that, drop me a line here [https://substack.com/redirect/dd16f955-6166-4bd9-aa56-628d687bdc38?j=eyJ1IjoiMnExdDZxIn0.vXdIPenVfg7r58DcZl3lXktX-A5SE29ltiuU7u5GAbQ]. Enjoy the episode - and tell me in the comments what you think. Rosie Get full access to In Confidence at inconfidencepod.substack.com/subscribe [https://inconfidencepod.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_4]

THE CONFIDENCE TRAP THAT STARTS AT 16 AND FOLLOWS YOU ALL THE WAY TO THE TOP - With Rachel Kelly

How do you know when you’ve collected enough evidence to truly feel confident enough? Rachel Kelly is a bestselling writer, public speaker and mental health advocate. She is an ambassador for several mental health charities, including SANE and Rethink Mental Illness. In her book The Gift of Teenagers, Rachel shares how bringing up her five children in an anxious age, and her work for five years with young people in schools and universities has led to her own psychological growth. In this conversation, we explore how the need for approval that starts in our teenage years can follow us all the way to the top, and why (despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary) even the most successful people often still don't feel like enough.. She says: “You need praise, you need job success, you need a string of A stars, you need an outward series of people to say you're okay — and the work is finding ways to be good enough that don't need outward stuff.” In our conversation, we explore: * Why high expectations (not protection) are the biggest predictor of how confident the people around you become. * How to recognise your confidence ‘shark music’. * Why compassion for the sixteen year old you were, and the adult you’ve become might be the key to confidence. You don’t need to be a parent of teenagers to love this! It’s about nurturing your inner teenager to find your true, inner confidence. Listen on the video above or come and find us on apple, spotify [https://open.spotify.com/show/1nsufmZMkAgqstkIBYKeSe?si=88581601f0414e05] and youtube [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCNymJxssxprNgZMhl0mq2_g] Liking, following, re-stacking, sharing, rating, reviewing etc makes a huge difference to this podcast. We’re on apple, spotify [https://open.spotify.com/show/1nsufmZMkAgqstkIBYKeSe?si=88581601f0414e05] and youtube [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCNymJxssxprNgZMhl0mq2_g]. You can also share this episode easily using the button below. To hear more from Rachel, you can visit her website, here [https://rachel-kelly.net/]. Or find her on instagram here [https://www.instagram.com/rachelkellywellbeing/]. This episode was produced by my amazing husband. It’s a job he never knew he wanted! If you’d like to support the making of future episodes, you can buy him a coffee: https://buymeacoffee.com/rosiedalling [https://buymeacoffee.com/rosiedalling] By the way, I help C-suite leaders and founders build confident, robust teams. If you want help with that, drop me a line here [https://substack.com/redirect/dd16f955-6166-4bd9-aa56-628d687bdc38?j=eyJ1IjoiMnExdDZxIn0.vXdIPenVfg7r58DcZl3lXktX-A5SE29ltiuU7u5GAbQ]. Enjoy the episode - and tell me in the comments what you think. Rosie Get full access to In Confidence at inconfidencepod.substack.com/subscribe [https://inconfidencepod.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_4]

Your brain is lying to you and it's killing your confidence with David Robson

What if the secret to confidence was as simple as believing that most people really really like you? David Robson is an award-winning science writer specialising in the extremes of the human brain, body and behaviour - and he thinks it is. In his book The Laws of Connection, he explains how social connection is as essential for our health and happiness as a balanced diet and regular exercise. And how by learning thirteen social strategies that help us fulfil our social potential, we can improve our creativity, increase our life span and crucially - boost our confidence. One of those laws is ‘the liking gap’, which shows we massively underestimate how much people like us, and that false belief is eroding our confidence every day “We can all afford to be a little bit more confident, and we would benefit from that, because it would help us to foster connection if we just had more faith in the fact that we were liked.” In our conversation, we explore: * Why fake it till you make it is wrong: real confidence comes from showing your full self, including the bits you’re ashamed of, not projecting someone you’re not * Asking for help: most people avoid it because they think it makes them look weak; actually it makes people like you more * Sharing your success is a confidence builder, thanks to a fabulous word ‘confelicity’: means the people who love you want to celebrate with you * Honesty is better than niceness: being honest, even when it’s awkward, builds deeper connection than being endlessly kind, and that depth is what really grows confidence You’re going to love this one! Listen on the video above or come and find us on apple, spotify [https://open.spotify.com/show/1nsufmZMkAgqstkIBYKeSe?si=88581601f0414e05] and youtube [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCNymJxssxprNgZMhl0mq2_g] Liking, following, re-stacking, sharing, rating, reviewing etc makes a huge difference to this podcast. We’re on apple, spotify [https://open.spotify.com/show/1nsufmZMkAgqstkIBYKeSe?si=88581601f0414e05] and youtube [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCNymJxssxprNgZMhl0mq2_g]. You can also share this episode easily using the button below. To hear more from David, you can visit his website, here [https://davidrobson.me/]. This episode was produced by my amazing husband. It’s a job he never knew he wanted! If you’d like to support the making of future episodes, you can buy him a coffee: https://buymeacoffee.com/rosiedalling [https://buymeacoffee.com/rosiedalling] By the way, I help C-suite leaders and founders build confident, robust teams. If you want help with that, drop me a line here [https://substack.com/redirect/dd16f955-6166-4bd9-aa56-628d687bdc38?j=eyJ1IjoiMnExdDZxIn0.vXdIPenVfg7r58DcZl3lXktX-A5SE29ltiuU7u5GAbQ]. Enjoy the episode - and tell me in the comments what you think. Rosie Get full access to In Confidence at inconfidencepod.substack.com/subscribe [https://inconfidencepod.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_4]

Your wardrobe might be killing your confidence — here's what works instead (and it's free) with Alexandra Fullerton

So you've been invited to something that matters — an interview, a party, you're giving a talk. I'm going to bet one of your first thoughts is: what the hell do I wear? Alexandra Fullerton is a stylist and writer. Formerly Fashion Director-at-large of Glamour UK for five years, she was previously Fashion Director at Stylist magazine. She’s worked with everyone who’s anyone in fashion - from David Bailey to Kylie Minogue and is the author of seven books including the best selling How To Dress. Alexandra's work centres on the idea that how you dress directly shapes how you feel — and that with the right tools, anyone can use clothes as a confidence strategy. Her signature method is the three word styling technique: choose three words that define your style, and let them guide every wardrobe decision. She says: “You can totally be your inner self on the outside — or you can let your outer self and the clothes you choose lead how you feel.” In our conversation, we explore: * How to dress for the job, the room, or the life you want — even when you’re not feeling it on the inside. * The three word styling method that will save you time, money, and the 8am wardrobe spiral. * The small tweaks you can make right now — before you walk into the room — that will make you look and feel like you’ve got it together. Liking, following, re-stacking, sharing, rating, reviewing etc makes a huge difference to this podcast. We’re on apple, spotify [https://open.spotify.com/show/1nsufmZMkAgqstkIBYKeSe?si=88581601f0414e05] and youtube [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCNymJxssxprNgZMhl0mq2_g]. You can also share this episode easily using the button below. To hear more from Alex, you can find her on instagram here [https://www.instagram.com/alexandrafullerton/] This episode was produced by my amazing husband. It’s a job he never knew he wanted! If you’d like to support the making of future episodes, you can buy him a coffee: https://buymeacoffee.com/rosiedalling [https://buymeacoffee.com/rosiedalling] By the way, I help C-suite leaders and founders build confident, robust teams. If you want help with that, drop me a line here [https://substack.com/redirect/dd16f955-6166-4bd9-aa56-628d687bdc38?j=eyJ1IjoiMnExdDZxIn0.vXdIPenVfg7r58DcZl3lXktX-A5SE29ltiuU7u5GAbQ]. Enjoy the episode - and tell me in the comments what you think. Rosie Get full access to In Confidence at inconfidencepod.substack.com/subscribe [https://inconfidencepod.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_4]

I've Built My Life Around Other People — Now I Don’t Know Who I Am (Problem Page)

Write to me with your confidence problem or dilemma at askrosie.inconfidence@gmail.com [http://askrosie.inconfidence@gmail.com/] or send me a voicenote: 07377 231 025 Please read my Terms and Conditions [https://inconfidencepod.substack.com//p/terms-of-service] This week’s letter is from a woman in her 40s in the entertainment business. Dear Rosie, I have a problem, which is that I’m not really sure who I am. I’ve started to notice that I adapt myself to whoever I’m with. I pick up the tone of the room, become interested in whatever the other person is interested in, and generally make people feel comfortable. People seem to like me, but I’m not sure they really know me. The strange thing is that I’m no longer sure I know myself either. When someone asks me what I think about something, or what I care about, I often go blank. Life has been busy and complicated for a long time, and I think I got used to just getting on with things rather than stopping to work out what I actually think or feel. Now that I’m noticing it, I realise I’ve spent years adapting to situations and people without ever really asking who I am underneath it all. So my question is this: how do you build confidence in yourself if you’re not even sure who that “self” is? I give my advice in the podcast episode above. Been through similar? Give this person your tips in the comments? The confidence boosting course I mention is linked here [https://theboostglobal.com/workshops-and-downloads/p/online-course-the-confidence-boost-6-simple-ways-to-get-unstuck]. And guess what, it’s currently 50% until our next episode comes out. If this episode has inspired you to develop your confidence and communication techniques, join us for our Confidence Through Storytelling workshop [https://theboostglobal.com/] on Wednesday 15 April in Soho. I’ll be joined by: • West End director Abbey Wright (National Theatre, Donmar, protégé of Alan Rickman and Danny Boyle)• Award-winning playwright Nina Segal (Royal Court Associate, writer on The Crown and Hanna) Together we’ll show you how actors and performers: • hold a room• tell powerful stories• stay calm and compelling under pressure And I’ll help you translate these techniques into your world — so you can win pitches, bring your team on side, and be seen as a confident leader. Tickets available here: https://theboostglobal.com/workshops-and-downloads/p/the-boost-confidence-through-storytelling-workshop Corporate: £550Individual: £300 with the code IND at check out I’ve saved a couple of spots for anyone who can’t make the fee - get in touch - no questions asked. (See podcast ep RE learning) Liking, following, re-stacking, sharing, rating, reviewing etc makes a huge difference to this podcast. We’re on apple, spotify [https://open.spotify.com/show/1nsufmZMkAgqstkIBYKeSe?si=88581601f0414e05] and youtube [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCNymJxssxprNgZMhl0mq2_g]. You can also share this episode easily using the button below. This episode was produced by my amazing husband. It’s a job he never knew he wanted! If you’d like to support the making of future episodes, you can buy him a coffee: https://buymeacoffee.com/rosiedalling [https://buymeacoffee.com/rosiedalling] By the way, I help C-suite leaders and founders build confident, robust teams. If you want help with that, drop me a line here [https://substack.com/redirect/dd16f955-6166-4bd9-aa56-628d687bdc38?j=eyJ1IjoiMnExdDZxIn0.vXdIPenVfg7r58DcZl3lXktX-A5SE29ltiuU7u5GAbQ]. Enjoy the episode - and tell me in the comments what you think. Rosie Get full access to In Confidence at inconfidencepod.substack.com/subscribe [https://inconfidencepod.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_4]