Kendra Arsenaux

I recently ran across an article in the journal Psychological Science called “The False-Hope Syndrome: Unfulfilled Expectations of Self-Change.” In it, Janet Polivy and C. Peter Herman describe the cycle of failure when we give ourselves unrealistic expectations, faulty self-assessments, and inadequate tools for self-change. It says, “Why do people persist in attempting to change themselves, despite repeated failure? Self-change is often perceived as unrealistically easy to achieve, in an unreasonably short period of time…embarking on self-change attempts induces feelings of control and optimism that supersede the lessons of prior experience…Some sorts of self-change are feasible, but we must learn to distinguish between realistic and unrealistic self-change goals, between confidence and overconfidence. Overconfidence breeds false hope.” Every person sitting here in this room is here because they believe that they can change.  Either presently or at some point in the past, we have been unhappy with some defect in our character, some prior action that we are ashamed of that we want forgiveness for, maybe some present habit that we want freedom from. The gospel call has come to us with the great hope of transformation. For some, it was the words, “believe and you shall be saved.” For others, it was “keep the law and you shall be saved.” But fast change often doesn’t last very long, and I’ve been left with the lingering question, do we have a realistic understanding of how rare lasting change can be? While statistics vary, one study shows that 85% of addicts in recovery relapse in the first year. Some of the reasons they discovered were 1. Withdrawal. Withdrawal symptoms include cold sweats, restlessness, vomiting, insomnia, and a general feeling of unwellness that can last from 6 to 18 months depending on their frequency of prior use.  2. Mental health. Often, the addictions themselves are not the problem, but the underlying problems are anxiety, depression, and post-traumatic stress. 3. People. Whatever your choice of addiction, you will likely surround yourself with like-minded people who enjoy the same things and keep you in this cycle, making it difficult to be sober. 4. Places. A person’s habitat is based on their habit. A person struggling with addiction has to change the places they frequent that will likely cause them to be triggered. 5. Things. This could be items like wine glasses clinking, a show, or a game that reminds us of a past life. 6. Poor self-care. Poor self-care sends the message that your well-being is not important, and consequently, you are not important. This includes things like diet that can affect mood and this can trigger a relapse. Others include 7. Getting into relationships and intimacy too soon in ways that mask the real issues that need to be dealt with, . 8. Pride and Overconfidence, 9. Boredom and Isolation, and finally 10. Uncomfortable Emotions. So what distinguishes the gospel from another self-help message? This is a question I’ve been asking myself since the pandemic. This introverted and reflective period of time has allowed me to watch myself in ways I haven’t previously. Patterns of myself, cycles of my being. Sometimes the problems we seek to solve are unable to be solved because we’ve misdiagnosed the problem. “Thus says the Lord concerning Shemaiah the Nehelemite… Shemaiah has prophesied unto you, and I have not sent him, and caused you to trust in a lie.” This is how Jeremiah 29 ends, with God having to correct the words of a prophet who gave a false diagnosis to Judah. This false prophet, along with another false prophet in the previous chapter Hananiah, were prophesying to Judah that their time in captivity would be relatively short. Hananiah boldly proclaimed, “Thus says the Lord of hosts, the God of Israel, saying, I have broken the yoke of the king of Babylon. Within two full years will I bring again into this place all the vessels of the Lord’s house, that Nebuchadnezzar king of Babylon took away from this place.” (Jeremiah 28:2-3). Five months later, this prophet died. In the following chapter Jeremiah sends these words to Babylon, letting the exiles know that their time in Babylon shall indeed be very long, seventy years to be exact. It came with this warning, “let not your prophets and your diviners…deceive you….for they prophesy falsely in my name...after seventy years have come to pass at Babylon, I will visit you, and perform my good word towards you.” (Jeremiah 29:8-10). Their time in Babylon was not going to be 2 years, but 70, an entire lifetime. The false prophets predicted fast change, and they were sorely mistaken. The first step in any addiction recovery is to admit the truth. Now many of you sitting here might not struggle with alcohol dependency, so I hope we can take these principles and draw from them what applies in our own life. In the twelve step program for Alcoholics Anonymous this truth is “1. We admit we were powerless over alcohol–that our lives had become unmanageable.” When the disciples questioned Jesus saying, “Lord, we do not know where you are going. How can we know the way?” Jesus replied, “I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life.” (John 14:5-6). If we’re looking to follow the Master, if we’re looking to find Jesus, we know where to find Him, we find Him wherever truth is allowed to shine.  We follow Him when we follow after the truth. When reading passages like Jeremiah 29, there is a temptation to read prophecy and focus on the numbers and the correlation to time. The seventy years might have to do with seventy weeks in Daniel 9 beginning at the building and restoration of Jerusalem, etc. One key experience that can get lost in this pure approach of numbers, is what the sentence of 70 years actually meant for the people who were living through the experience of an exile that would last a lifetime. Some events in life are life-changing. They alter the course of our reality for the rest of our lives. There are traumas in life of which there is no bouncing back. There are parents who have lost children, children who have lost parents, and those who have endured physical and emotional injuries that are lifelong. There are diseases and cancers that erode an individual, and rob them of strength until their dying breath. There are some captivities that we do not recover from. Some losses, which we experience, no amount of time can assuage the grief. It is a sadness we carry with us to the grave, like the loss of a child. Captivities of this nature are essentially permanent. This life will pass and we will die in our captivity. So what do we do? What do we do with the permanent grief we carry with us? With the life long injuries that forever affect and change the course of our futures? The first step, like any step to recovery, is to admit the truth. As Jeremiah 29:28 says, “your exile will be long.” Yahweh does not offer false hope to the exiles. They will spend the rest of their lives in exile. They will die in a foreign land. This kind of truth telling is also something that is also important for our transformation. While, I often seek to avoid labels, I’ve started to doubt whether or not I’m doing myself a service when I use language that disconnects me from the former versions of myself. Phrases like, “I’m a new person,” or “I’m no longer that person” or “I’ve been made new.” While yes, it is important to celebrate our victories, and acknowledge our progress and successes, I don’t want to lie to myself by creating a narrative that doesn’t keep me accountable to all the versions of myself that I have been, and the challenges that I will have to continually acknowledge as I embark upon this journey of self-transformation. For example, I have to acknowledge that for one I have a morphed image of my own body, hence I may not have the best judgment when it comes to the amount of weight I need to lose. I have an unhealthy relationship with my body image and with the scale. Two: I am a survivor of domestic violence, I do have PTSD and this PTSD may be triggered in certain settings that are more benign. My family has mental health and addiction issues. How has this affected my family systems growing up? What are my predispositions to mental health issues and addictions because of this? These are my realities that I will live with for the rest of my life. I can run from these issues for a while and delude myself into thinking I’m a new person, and then once the adrenaline runs out, I find myself again. I have to live with the me that is me. The first portion of Jeremiah 29 is God speaking to the new reality that these exiles are going through and says essentially, get comfortable with this new reality. “Build houses and dwell in them; plant vineyards and eat their produce.” Jeremiah 29 is a fascinating insight on how to survive life-altering traumas. Regardless of the reasons why we might end up in captivity, Yahweh sends the exiles a new Ten Commandments. Just like Moses gave the Ten Commandments for how they were to conduct their new life with integrity and self-restraint in the land flowing with milk and honey, Yahweh yet again provides Ten Commandments for how to thrive in the land of their captivity saying, “Build houses and live in them; plant gardens and eat their produce”. So how exactly do we do this? For one, we must give up narratives that paint the story we want to tell about ourselves, rather than tell the story that actually happened. This is the one single difference between the myths of Greek gods and the Bible. Between Instagram and sacred history. The narratives are true to the person. There is no mythologizing of David. He was who he was in all his glory and all his shame. We have to have an honest conversation with ourselves if we want to see real change. In the article by Polivy and Herman they note, “In order to replace false hopes with real hope, we must learn to determine accurately the difficulty of self change, establish realistic goals, to keep our expectations reasonable, and to develop coping skills to help us contend with the setbacks that are normal with efforts to change.” The first command God gives is to build. Build houses and dwell in them. Find stability. When trauma happens, when we discover our faults, our lives get overturned. The stories we have told ourselves about ourselves, is challenged. Thus the first step is to find acceptance with your new normal. This usually doesn’t happen on our own. We need therapists, support groups and networks that can help us process grief and find a livable amount of comfort in our new normal. Building houses, includes making time for self-care. When care for ourselves, we give ourselves the message that our life is still worth living and that we are uniquely valuable in what we have to share. Next Yahweh invites us to plant vineyards and eat the fruit. In other words, begin upturning the soil in the land of your new normal. Understand the land. Understand your emotions, process your trauma and enjoy the fruits of your labor. Enjoy the insights you gain and the wisdom you learn about yourself and the world around you. Invest in your new land and enjoy the fruits of your labor. “Take wives and have sons and daughters.” Be prolific. Don’t be afraid to make covenants and join yourself to the community. Pass along the wisdom of your experience to others. Gain knowledge of yourself, your trauma and how it has affected your life and pass this knowledge on to the next generation. “Take wives for your sons, and give your daughters in marriage.” In other words, think, intergenerational. There may come days when all you wish to do is lay down and die, but God has a future and a hope for you. So do not let your story end with you. Contemplate a future for yourself and the generations after you. Next, “Seek the welfare of the city where I have sent you into exile.” In other words, integrate yourself into the community, be part of something larger than yourself. Invest in the schools, the city councils, the non-profit organizations. Get to know your neighbors and offer your unique contribution to the public. “Pray to the Lord on its behalf.” Once you have invested in yourself, in the people, in your community, you will learn to love the community and pray for them and their flaws. We are not called to be isolated from, but to be integrated into. We are not Lot fleeing from the wrath of the Lord on the day of judgment, we are Joseph praying for God’s mercy and transformation in the midst of the city we have learned to love. Trauma and shame can dim the light we shine into the world. In answer to the life-altering events of a lifelong captivity, God provides a survival guide to being whole again, steps we can take toward healing and allow the lessons of our life to be of service to the communities in which we abide. As the holiday season approaches it can be a difficult time of year for many. For some, this is their first holiday without someone they love. This year might mark many firsts, their first year after a loss of a parent, a loss of a relationship, or the loss of a friend or family member. Years of memories they have built celebrating holidays together now hold a bittersweet cloud of darkness in the absence of their loved ones. Yet God says,  “I know the thoughts that I think toward you says Yahweh, thoughts of peace and not evil, to give you a hope and a future.” ( Jeremiah 29:11). The absence of your loved one and the grief that you bear might feel so overwhelming that you just want to give up and die. The trauma might feel like more than you can bear. Yet for a brief moment the Master behind the veil is speaking to us, revealing His mind, providing an assurance that there is hope. My appeal to you today is not to give up. One of my favorite quotes is from a man I never knew, who has since passed, the father of a dear friend of mine. She recounts the story of how he would tell her, “Life is a solitary journey, lived out in solidarity.” I want to encourage you today to find that solidarity with those who share the same lived traumas that you have. True transformation cannot happen without a true understanding of the problem. Some resources out there for those of you who would like to live out your life in solidarity, I want to encourage you to try BetterHelp.com, it provides therapy online from licensed experienced professionals for half the cost. Being a Christian is not about being invulnerable, invincible, relentlessly optimistic. It is about being honest about our life long struggles, realistic in our assessments, cautious in our optimism for change, and surrounded by the support we need to grow. Life is a solitary journey, let’s live it out together today.

The Mark of Cain By Kendra Arsenault “16 He causes all, both small and great, rich and poor, free and slave, to receive a mark on their right hand or on their foreheads, 17 and that no one may buy or sell except one who has the mark or the name of the beast, or the number of his name.” (Revelation 13:15-17). I recently moved to a city that still has “Blue Laws” in place. This is particularly interesting to me because Blue laws show the history of a city and the history of its values. It’s also something I’ve often heard talked about in sermons regarding future Sunday laws. For those of you who might be unfamiliar with what a “Blue Law” is it’s a law that was created back in colonial times and still stands today, but is not enforced. The fear surrounding “Blue Laws” is that the laws that prohibited work on Sunday back in the early 1900s will be reinforced at the end of time since they’re still technically a law. While on a city tour a few weeks ago, the tour guide shared with us some of the more unknown blue laws that are still on the books today. Some of these would be quite interesting if they were brought back. 1. Duels can be carried out to the death on Sunday as long as the governor is present. 2. It is illegal to take a lion to the movies. (This particular law was created due to this eccentric and wildly wealthy woman who apparently, before the days of wild animal regulations, would bring her pet lion to the movies.) 3. It’s illegal to play the fiddle (this may have been an attempt to systematically remove the homeless and other beggars and poor from the city). 4. It is illegal to bathe unless your doctor gives you a prescription. BUT, it’s also illegal not to bathe before going to bed. 5. Roosters may not go into bakeries. 6. It is illegal to eat peanuts in church. Aside from some of these quirky laws, we learned about the history of how the city treated convicted criminals. During Revolutionary times when America was struggling for independence from England, there was a particular pardon called, the “Benefit of Clergy,” which allowed members of the church to be tried by their parish rather than by the state and thus escape the death penalty. In exchange, they would receive a branding on their thumbs. This branding included a T for theft, an F for felony, and M for murder. This was a one-time branding. If they were convicted again, they would receive the full penalty for their crime. This branding often made them unemployable tho and turned them into homeless wanderers, often dependent upon the kindness of family and friends for food and shelter, or working laborious jobs that no one else wanted. To be branded with this mark ensured that you would live a hard life. This branding for the criminals of old, reminded me of a similar story in the Bible, where God branded a murderer rather than give him the death penalty. This branding sentenced this murderer to a life of wandering and reflection. This branding is the Mark of Cain. The mark of the beast is often spoken of as a terrifying branding that will be forced upon the faithful if they’re not so very careful. Maybe it’s an implanted chip or a change made to our DNA through a vaccine, but whatever it is, it’s always this external force that we must be vigilant to guard against. It’s a principle in exegesis to return to first mentions in order to gather more insight on how a mysterious term might be used in different parts of Scripture. The first mention of a mark, is the mark given to Cain.  And it was not a mark forced upon him in his innocence. It was not a mark that he received because he lacked discernment or did not watch carefully what was happening in the world around him. It was a revelatory mark, a mark that revealed a hidden secret, his very real guilt, the guilt of bloodshed. When I think about the Mark of Cain, I see it as the mark of violence. October is Domestic Violence Awareness month and I thought it would be appropriate for us to discuss how violence shows up in prophecy. The mark of the beast is not something external that is placed upon the innocent thus turning them evil. It is a mark that reveals what is already in the heart. And as wide as the gap between Cain and Abel, there is a crying contrast between those who earn the Mark of Cain, and the Lamb slain from the foundation of the world. In contrast to those who bear the mark, Revelation goes on to describe another kind of people saying,  “Then I saw the Lamb standing on Mount Zion, and with him were 144,000 who had His name and his Father's name written on their foreheads.” (Revelation 14:1). Jesus is spoken of in contrast to the beast, as a Lamb. His followers, bear His mark. The mark of Abel. The mark of being slain, the mark of those victimized by the Cains of this world. Jesus in so many ways, is our example, a model after whom we pattern our lives. But Jesus is more than that, He is savior, a Savior from ourselves. “David Buss, professor of psychology at the University of Texas-Austin, surveyed 5,000 people [https://www.wnycstudios.org/shows/radiolab] for his book, The Murderer Next Door: Why the Mind is Designed to Kill [https://www.amazon.com/The-Murderer-Next-Door-Designed/dp/0143037056?tag=bisafetynet2-20], and found that 91% of men and 84% of women had thought about killing someone, often with very specific hypothetical victims and methods in mind. Though we may like to think that murderers are either pathological misfits or hardened criminals, as author David Buss highlights, the vast majority of murders are committed by people who, until the day they kill, seem perfectly normal.” Now this book goes on to highlight the ways our brains have been wired to deal with perceived danger and that at times, our brains misfire. The rage we experience in a traffic jam or when someone says something cruel and injurious to our ego and we go red with rage, all of this a misfire since there is no real existential threat of danger, no, kill or be killed scenario happening. And yet violence is incredibly accessible for us. October is Domestic violence awareness month, and Domestic violence statistics since the pandemic have risen. Families have been under incredible amounts of stress since the pandemic, financial stress, the loss of family members, where one or both financial providers have been fired from work. There have been lots to be angry about. Mallory Littlejohn, Legal Director, Chicago Alliance Against Sexual Exploitation paints this picture.  "It's a really horrible situation. Imagine needing to wake up in the morning, go to work, take care of your kids, because they're homeschooling, [but] you're working from home and so was your abuser." Data obtained from the Illinois Domestic Violence Hotline received 28,749 calls for help in 2020. That's a 16% increase from the previous year and at its busiest, the hotline received almost 150 calls in one day.” This is a single hotline number, in a single state. 30,000 calls that year. Multiply that by 10 states, by 50. Violence is its own epidemic and it is rising. But there is a beacon of hope in it all. Jesus is called “Immanuel” God with us. The book of Revelation ends with the declaration, “Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God.” (Revelation 21:3). Jesus is the ultimate pattern of what it means to dwell well with other people. He has lived with contentious, judgmental, even violent domestic partners. This is not a sermon about remaining in violent and dangerous situations. This is about, how do we not become the monster we seek to destroy. As a survivor of domestic violence, I know all too well the difficulties of leaving, the barriers to making it to safety, the religious beliefs and impediments that keep a person in a dangerous relationship along with the rage that is present in the aftermath of violation. Looking to Jesus as my model, I see how an all-powerful God, chooses to lay down all of the ways that He could overpower us, and force us to conform. The omniscient One, who knows our every thought and our every misdeed never took the opportunity to humiliate another person by revealing intimate secrets about their life. The omnipotent one never used His potency and power to dominate those who opposed him. He was wise as a serpent, gentle as a dove. The lamb slain from the foundation of the world. Now, some of you do not have domestic partners or roommates, and so there are certain challenges that are inherent in “dwelling with” someone that you may not be faced with in everyday life. The ebbs and flows of human behavior. The morose and dark moods that your domestic partner might experience. Mental illness and physical health challenges. Frustration from work, seeping into the home life. Dysfunctional styles of communication and family systems that they have carried over from both of your families of origin. A triggering statement of judgment said from an unmindful spouse. All of these can all make for volatile eruptions, that no matter how much you have prepared in the past, will catch you off guard and often trigger a trauma response. Regardless of how you may have vowed to yourself to never raise your voice again, never let that curse word slip out of your mouth, never ignore that call, people have a funny way of testing our limits in ways we did not expect. Not all violence is physical. When we feel powerless and hurt, the temptation is to hit people. We hit them with any object we can get our hands-on. We use our words. You… xyz. We withhold affection, hitting them with a loss of love. We even use the Bible...God said. The Mark of the Beast is not a mystical branding from the enemy that sneaks up on us unaware. The Mark of the Beast is the work of a lifetime. A lifetime of not restraining unkind words. Not restraining ourselves from the opportunity to use excessive force. Whether that’s physical force, the force of our words, or the force of our Biblical knowledge. Some say the Mark of the Beast is the Sunday Law. But the mark is the abuse of power. It is bending the will of those less powerful than you through coercion. It is the employer bending the will of their employee because of their economic vulnerability. It is the spouse who uses their tone, and words, and lack of affection, to bend the will of the one they call beloved. It is even a denominational President using their power of influence to target and abuse those who are already marginalized among us. The Mark of the Beast is the antithesis to the gentleness of the Lamb. Jesus... wise as a serpent, gentle as a dove. The lamb slain from the foundation of the world. The classic Disney tale, Beauty and the Beast, provides commentary on what makes us truly human and what makes us a monster. The handsome alpha male Gaston, vs. the pained introverted beast. One looks like a human but acts like an animal. One looks an animal but acts humanely. We see beasts like creatures depicted in Revelation and in Daniel. These are people and institutions that have lost their humanity. Revelation 13, for example, provides some description. “And I saw a beast rising out of the sea, with ten horns and seven heads...it was like a leopard; its feet were like a bear's, and its mouth was like a lion's mouth...Then I saw another beast rising out of the earth. It had two horns like a lamb and it spoke like a dragon...it causes all, both small and great, both rich and poor, both free and slave, to be marked on the right hand or the forehead, so that no one can buy or sell unless he has the mark, that is, the name of the beast or the number of its name.” (Rev 13:1-2, 11-12, 16-17 ESV) An interesting descriptor of this beast, this institution, this system that has lost its humanity, says it causes ALL, the rich and the poor, the slave and the free to be marked and that no one can buy or sell unless he has this mark. I pose to you a controversial question, do we already bear this mark? We often think of receiving that mark of the beast as some future event to avoid. But what about our accountability to non-violence in the here and now? What about our collective culpability not just to individual acts of violence but our participation in systematic acts of violence. A few years back when I was studying my undergraduate degree in International Development, I spent a lot of time examining carbon footprints, the cost of sustaining human life, how food subsidies affect and cripple foreign markets, how big companies like Nike are essentially run on slave labor, how oil is a motivator for war, how our fuel industries are raping the earth and destroying natural habitats, how the computer chips and silicon made for our iPhones and computers are mined by children in poverty-stricken providence of Africa. And the thought dawned on me one day, that there is no place I can go to escape the guilt of our current technological and industrial age. The clothes I buy, the computers I use, my phone, my food. I would have to completely live off of the grid and set myself back to the 1800s to really be free of the blood guilt I have on my hands, by participating in the purchases in this economy. I’m not trying to be an alarmist but I am trying to be aware. There is a movement to more sustainable, fair trade economies, but that is not by and large the bulk of our industry.  The computers on which we are having this conversation, the gas we put in our cars, the clothes we buy from cheap overseas labor, is not something we often question. Was the person who made this shirt given a livable wage? These are questions that I am challenging myself to ask, because I am not only responsible to make a personal individual commitment to non-violence, but I am also culpable for the systematic violence that I participate in. So, I ask again, whose hands among us are clean? To buy or sell, to participate in our current economy, in many ways is a must. Who then can cleanse us from this guilt? Will our good deeds save us? Proverbs says, “Who can say, ‘I have made my heart pure; I am clean from my sin’?” and “There are those who are clean in their own eyes but are not washed of their filth.” (Proverbs 20:9; 30:12). As Paul implores upon his hearers, “As it is written: ‘None is righteous, no, not one.’” (Romans 3:10). The collective guilt that we all bear, means we are all on equal footing, all equally sinners, all cleansed by one agent--the blood of Jesus. Nothing but the blood of Jesus. Wise as a serpent, gentle as a dove, the Lamb slain from the foundation of the world. I want to invite you, to pause for a moment. To think about the comparisons we make between our lives and the “other”. The divides we have created between “the sinner” and ourselves. The caricatures we have made of what the Mark of the Beast looks like. We have a commitment to non-violence, not only in our personal lives and on an individual level, but also on a communal level. When it comes to our communal culpability and guilt, we can do what we can and educate ourselves in how to participate in a more just economy. To buy fair trade. To inquire about the companies that we invest in and the establishments where we buy at. There is only so much within our power to do, but if every person does a little, and sees the value of their contribution, then a little can turn into much. Like the widow’s mite, it can inspire many small offerings to God from many people that eventually make up great wealth in His storehouse. As far as our personal commitment to non-violence, we must seek the help we need to keep our hands to ourselves. The temptation to hit others with our words, with our righteousness, with our “Thus saith the Lords”, and learn what it is to walk with mercy and to love justice. In honor of this Domestic Violence month, I am going to speak of a mark that is particularly accessible to the community sitting in this room and also something not often talked about, and that is the mark of religious abuse. “God said,” is the ultimate source of religious power. The phrase, “the Bible says,” can be used just as bluntly as a fist. It is the ultimate trump card and a coercive way to impress upon vulnerable minds your particular points. “God said,” when God hath not said, or God did not mean it to be used in that way, is the ultimate meaning of “using the Lord’s name in vain.” So who are the vulnerable among, those we are most often tempted to abuse using religious language? Maybe it’s those who wear their brokenness more openly. These are the ones we can easily label as living “immoral lives” and we can easily pick them from the herd and display them as unworthy wearers of Christ’s name. Maybe it’s those darn feminists who keep asking for equality when the Bible “so clearly states” that the subordination of women in religious offices and in the home is pleasing to God. I can tell you, as one who has experienced religious abuse, from both a community and from individuals, this kind of Bible-thumping, while you might feel you are on a warpath for Jesus, it is the most damaging behavior and I doubt not, that those who use the Bible in this way, are those of whom Jesus spoke saying, “There will come a time when They will put you out of the synagogue; in fact, the time is coming when anyone who kills you will think they are offering a service to God.” (John 16:2). Or maybe it’s LGBTQ community, they’re an easy target. The people who make up 7% of the population but are 40% of the homeless youth. The ones who are already four times more likely to commit suicide, those are the ones we should target and beat up with our theology. Right? The mark of the beast is wholly within our power to refrain from receiving. We must keep the commitment to keep our hands unstained from blood, abuse, and violence. We must watch our words and do our part to restrain the unkindness that comes o too naturally for us. To follow the pattern of Jesus, and to by God, be saved by Him from ourselves that we too might become wise as serpents, gentle as doves like the Lamb slain from the foundation of the world.

Every since I was a young girl, I have often had dreams that predict something in the future. It’s never a significant something. Sometime’s it’s an old friend that I haven’t connected to in a while, who calls me the next day out of the blue. Other times it’s an odd piece of clothing that I recognize from a dream I had the night before. Once I dreamed of a friend in tears, who I found out the next day her grandmother had just passed away. At this point, I think it’s a pretty universal experience to have one of those moments where a person calls or texts you and you say to yourself, “I was just thinking about that person!” I don’t believe my dreams are prophetic in the way that we see prophecy working in the Bible. But I do think there is something mysterious about the fabric that connects us all. Like the gravitational mesh that holds the earth in the middle of space, a mesh that is affected by the presence of earth and changes shape because of it, there seems to be a mesh of spiritual gravity that connects all of us. Maybe it’s the thing we call “intuition” or a “sixth sense.” So many of us, due to the busyness of life, become numb to our bodies, and the inner voice of truth that speaks in the silence of stillness. It is the still small voice that tells us uncomfortable truths. Recently I had a dream, which is sometimes my body’s way of telling me things that I do not want to hear. In this dream, I was in a rainy marsh in the middle of no distinct place. There were various animals around in the greenery, many taking shelter because of the rain. A family of finches sheltered in a bush; a mom and several babies puffing their bodies and fluffing their feathers to keep the rain from soaking into their coats. Suddenly, I see a lost little duckling, soaking wet and dragging its little feet on the muddy ground. It was all alone. Tired, hungry, and lost. The little duckling was trying to drink from the muddy waters beneath his feet, and began to get sicker the more he drank from the contaminated streams. My compassion went out to this little duckling and I gathered his little body into my arms and brought him to a nearby pool. The water was cleaner. Immediately he took a drink and life began to be restored to his weary little body. He began swimming after the tiny crawfish that darted beneath him. Suddenly he got stuck in the sand below and soon would drown without my help. I quickly dug him out of the sand and brought him back to the surface. But now I was worried. How would this little duckling be able to survive on his own? I turned my back for just a moment and death was close at his heels. I gathered him into my arms once again, and this time as I did so, something strange happened, as in dreams they often do. I could see him trying to contort his little body into the shape of a finch. Like the family of finches we had seen earlier--he was trying to be like one of the little ones. He not only wanted, but needed to be accepted into this family of finches in order to survive. Afterall he was all alone. But in order to survive, he had to make changes that were painful to him and deceitful to himself. He had to become something he was not, in order for others to love him. My heart grew deeply sad as I watched this duckling change his shape. Something about him deeply resonated with myself and how I operated in the world. We are not a species that can survive in isolation. We must have community. As someone who was born of an afro-latina immigrant mother, I come from a long history of women, people groups, who often have to contort themselves in ways that are painful and destructive in order to find acceptance in the struggle for survival. I began to ask myself, “What ways have you molded yourself and contorted your identity for the sake of survival? What Bible characters can you think of that needed to do the same?” For starters, I’d venture to say, most of all the women. Living in a patriarchal society, women lived and still do live at a disadvantage. This disadvantage forces them to accept norms, and double standards, that they would not have to accept, if they were truly equal. I was recently scrolling through my Twitter feed, and read this quote from @_bryana_joy, another woman who is tired of the gendered discrimination that women often face at the hands of religious leaders. She wrote, “I want @garyLthomas [https://twitter.com/garyLthomas] (& @Zondervan [https://twitter.com/Zondervan]!) to know that for an untold number of women, his words in Married Sex are triggering trauma responses & great anguish this week. We. are. tired. We are so, SO tired of being told that men desperately need sex & we don't. We are SO tired of being told that our bodies have an almost-mystical power over men & that we need to use our sexuality strategically to retain our husbands' affection. We are so tired of being treated like a separate species primarily defined by our sex appeal. I want @garyLthomas [https://twitter.com/garyLthomas] to know what it's like to be a woman suffering with vaginismus/dyspareunia & forcing herself through agonizing pain & hours of dilator therapy every week in sheer terror that the man she loves will leave her if she can't fulfill his sexual expectations...I want @garyLthomas [https://twitter.com/garyLthomas] to recognize that scaring women into performing sexually by threatening them with the collapse of their marriages leads to serious trauma, insecurity, & an inability to trust their husbands—even when their husbands *aren't* raging sex machines.” Women. Are. Tired. Tired of the contortions that are unnatural to themselves, that are forced upon them by institutions claiming to know God. As a woman, I can concur, we are tired. All throughout the Bible we have seen the effects of inequality, but have normalized as some idealized form of “the way the world should work.” In the story of Abraham and Sarah, if inequality were not at works, she would not have to accept being taken to the house of Pharaoh. Hagar would not have to accept being treated like cattle serving no greater function than to bear a child. Leah would not be forced to remain in a marriage where she was unloved and unwanted. Jochebed would not have to settle for being merely a wet nurse to her own child. Ruth would not have to beg for the hand of an older man, nor Esther contend for the affection of the king among his many wives. These stories that make up our sacred history, do not reflect the ideals of God, but rather the effects of sin. The ideals of God can be found however, in day He had created to set aside as a tool to cut through the systems of men, and create an ideal of equality. This day was a foretaste of the New Earth, a moment where the chains of gender inequality, racial inequality, and the nationalism that fueled bigotry against the immigrants would be broken. A day where the covenant of marriage and the equity of one’s wealth was not shared merely between spousal parties. It is a day where all humanity is tied together in a common marriage, the Sabbath. The Sabbath, which has often been the marker of what makes an Adventist an Adventist, was the first piece of scripture that I had ever memorized. Little did I realize how much wisdom was packed into this little passage of sacred text. Coming from an agostic home, but joining a community of Adventists when I was twelve the first verse I ever learned to memorize was Exodus 20:8-11 in the KJV.  “Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy. Six days thou shalt labor and do all thy work. But the seventh day is the Sabbath of the Lord thy God. In it thou shalt not do any work. Thou nor thy son, nor thy daughter, nor thy manservant, nor thy maidservant, nor thy cattle, nor thy stranger that is within thy gates. For in six days the Lord made heaven and earth, the sea and all that in them is and rested the seventh day wherefore the Lord blessed the Sabbath day and hallowed it.” Week after week, I recited this verse sitting side by side with my fellow worshipper. We all breathed a sigh of relief knowing that we had stepped into the obedience God had commanded. It had been instilled into my head and into my heart that entering into the boundaries of the Sabbath day, was like entering into Noah’s Ark. It was the vessel that would keep me safe from the storm of destruction, and the end of the world. As I continued to grow in my education and experience, interacting with people from all sorts of faith traditions, living life in an unjust world, the Sabbath became not merely an inactive force, a passive institution we stepped into, but an active force capable of making positive change in the world. For the economically vulnerable among us, the Sabbath is given as an explicit command to those in power. It was instructions given to landowners, on how to treat the male and female servants, the cattle, and the stranger within their gates. The Sabbath is a social protection for the economically and societally vulnerable. It is spoken to those in power and demands equality across gender and socio-economic status. The Sabbath is more than just a command to rest, it is an affirmation of human dignity, and the command of Sabbath given to landowners is an act of social justice. To the poor, it is an assurance that you have a right to the rest God created, a rest that is as an affirmation of your humanity and a restoration to your soul. The Sabbath command is a reminder that whatever modicum of power we might hold, we are accountable to God for those who come under our care. It is a protection against greedy business owners and middle managers who fail to provide a living wage to the undocumented worker. The Sabbath has eyes. It watches the landowner in their his or her actions towards those who have to power to complain against the hand of abuse. It observes those who have been silenced through political and social disadvantages and takes up their cause. Sabbath reaches its hands into the bank account of the wealthy claiming back the land, the employees, the servants, and even the animals as first belonging to God. The meat industry that callously cages up the chicken, the cow, the pig, intelligent creatures made wise by their Creator, and keeps them cruelly pinned in a stall where they are unable to move, defecating upon themselves and living in their own filth, 7 days a week, they are accountable to God. To these abused victims, born for slaughter for the sake of man’s own appetite, the Sabbath is taking account and watching. To the farmer, who hires immigrant labor, and does not allow him to take a sick day for fear of replacement, compelling the undocumented to work beyond that which he is physically able, the Sabbath is watching. To those victims of human trafficking and forced slave labor, the Sabbath is watching. It is not only the cries of uneducated Hebrew slaves that rang in the ears of heaven. The lamentations of tortured souls that called forth a Moses into their generation are still ascending into heaven like the incense of the sanctuary, waiting for God to avenge them. The Sabbath is an active tool of God’s justice. The Sabbath is not only a protection against exploitation, it is a positive statement of social equality. While researching academic articles on Sabbath I ran across Mathilde Frey’s article “Women’s Ordination, Gender Equality, and the Sabbath.” In it, she states, “Scripture shows that, unlike any other concept and day, the Sabbath implicates all human beings by core gender categories of male and female and regards them as equals before God.” In other words man and woman, male slave and female slave are acknowledged in the Sabbath command explicitly by their gender. The language of Exodus 20 does not simply say, all “human beings” or all “slaves.”  It acknowledges each person according to gender, as a recognition of inequality between genders. Thus God was ensuring social equality between majority and minority groups the Sabbath day. Frey goes on to make another statement saying, “The Sabbath tells the Israelite man and woman that each is set free from the bonds of any kind of slavery...more importantly, each individual, male and female receives with the words of the sabbath command his and her new ID… ‘There is neither...male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus.’ (Galatians 3:28).” The Sabbath is the precursor to the great equalizing statement of Paul in Galatians 3:28. It is a day where the social delineations that might separate Jew and Gentile, slave and free, male and female, are erased. Those who have nothing and those who have everything are one, a foretaste of heaven's social order. Understanding the Sabbath is a social equalizer, as well as the heavenly ideal, has many implications. We could discuss the theological implication for the acceptance of women’s ordination. Frey in her article makes this compelling point, “The Sabbath speaks directly to human beings, male and female, and defines the essence and function of both as equals before God. The Sabbath responds to gender questions of woman’s ordination with its inclusive nonhierarchical message. Instituted in creation, the Sabbath comes into our world with its coercive systems, into our churches with their male-dominated hierarchical power structures, and transplants men and women into God’s world.” We could discuss the myriad and many forms that inequality erupts its ugly head within our society, within our churches, and within our personal relationships. The Sabbath is the touchstone of justice, the measurement by God will judge the earth and answer the question, “if you have done it unto the least of these my brethern, you have done it unto me.” As we conclude the story of Sabbath, I want to end with a whimsical tale that may better illustrate the issue. As all good stories go, we begin with “once upon a time.” In a far-off place, at an unknown time, there was a little supling who happened upon a forest. Now suplings aren’t very strong or powerful, but they are very smart and their favorite questions are “why”. Suplings aren’t from around here so much of what happens in the forest world is quite new. Not knowing much about a forest, but curious nonetheless the little supling sauntered one morning along a cool trickling stream deep, deep in the woods. While on this wild adventure, she met many enchanted creatures along the way. The first creature she met looked like something she had never seen before. “Why do you have such big teeth and long legs?” the supling asked the fox, not knowing that it was a fox, but curious nonetheless. The fox replied, “I have no hands to make a garden and grow my food. So I rely on my sharp teeth so that I can eat. But there are other animals much bigger than me that would make me food so I must also be fast.” “Oh, well that makes good sense.” The supling, replied as she rubbed her chin quite content with the answer.  Next, while smelling the flowers and placing a few in her pocket, the supling ran into a bee, not knowing that it was a bee, but curious nonetheless, and said, “Oh my! You there! Why do you have a needle for a tail? Is it because you have no hands to get food or is it because other creatures in the forest want to eat you and you must run fast to get away like the fox?” The bee replied, “Oh no, I don’t need hands to make food since I drink the nectar of these flowers. Also, not many creatures in the forest want to eat me and if they did I have these very fast wings to get away.” The bee replied. The supling look stumped and said, “So why do you have a needle for a tail?” “Well,” Mr. Bee replied, “I make honey for a living, sweet calorie-rich honey, and I must protect it from thieves.” “But you have wings,” the supling said, “If no one wants to eat you, why not flee away with great speed when the thief comes?” The bee perched himself upon a flower for a moment. He paused and replied, “My sting is not to protect myself or my wealth, but the people I love. I am one of the tiniest creatures in the forest, and I make the most valuable food. Many others big and strong can come and take what cost me my whole life to make. So my sting is my only weapon, but I pay with my life if I decide to use it. In my vengeance toward thief, even the thief is avenged.” “Ah,” the supling replied, “You are very small, and you make a great treasure, so you have been given the stinger to compensate for your size.” Next, the supling came across a terrible beast, with large teeth and hands the size of a fox’s head. So the supling asked the bear, not knowing that it was a bear, but curious nonetheless, “Oh my! Why are you so large and scary, with teeth that can crush a fox and hands that tear down the bee’s honeycomb?” “I am a terrible beast,” the bear replied, “I am a predator to the fox, and I often steal the honeycomb of the bee. There is no one here in the forest that is larger than I or can stop me.” “Well that’s just not fair!” the supling replied. “How can you just be allowed you to ravage all these good woodland creatures all year round with no one to stop you?” “Ah” the bear replied, “Not all year round… I sleep 6 months out of the year, and so the forest is able to rest for a time from my terrifying presence.” And so the supling learned, that in all the creatures of the forest, from the very terrible, to the very tiny, they were all created different, but with equality. Jesus, through His miracles of mercy often performed on the Sabbath, lived out the ideal of the Sabbath as an institution of equality. “Now it was a Sabbath day when Jesus made the mud and opened his eyes.” (John 9:14). The blind beggar, who did not have the means to provide for his own well-being due to his disability was restored to wholeness. The blind, and disabled, placed at an economic disadvantage because of their physical defects due to a society that stigmatized disabilities were restored. “But the ruler of the synagogue, indignant because Jesus had healed on the Sabbath, said to the people, ‘There are six days in which work ought to be done. Come on those days and be healed, and not on the Sabbath day.’” (Luke 13:14). The rulers did not understand that the Sabbath was a day for the disenfranchised to participate in the equality that had been denied them 6 days of the week. Jesus healed the disparities caused by health. He enabled the disabled giving them the dignity they lacked in an ableist society. The healing that removed inequality was the most appropriate work Jesus could do on the Sabbath. The Sabbath is a refuge to the marginalized and oppressed, and it is not a passive agent in God’s salvation. The Sabbath has eyes, it is watching and taking the acts of injustice into account. It is an equalizer in the kingdom of God stating that both men and women, the female slave and the male slave, are one. The religious systems, the societal systems that perpetuate oppression are removed and each man and woman sit as equals before each other and before God. What shall we do then as we understand these 6 categories of the marginalized among us? The young men and young women, the male and female slave, the animals, and the immigrant. And yet even these categories do not include the elderly, or the disabled, those systematically oppressed in their churches or in their country because of race, gender, and sexuality. The Sabbath is a call to radical equality, we must make the application in our own lives as to what that means for us personally. We are all given some modicum of power. Whether that is power within our family structures, parents relating to children, older siblings to younger siblings, boss and employee, educated and uneducated, the elder and the younger, the able and the disabled, the man and the woman, those belonging to the majority and the minority. We all fit within overlapping circles. A person can belong to both a dominant group like  their race or gender, and in other ways they can belong to a minority group in regards to their sexuality or disability. We all have spheres of privilege that we enjoy, some much smaller than others. One might have only a mite to spare, while others have great wealth. It is for us to comb through the details of our lives and recognize the areas of our privilege, and ask God, who have you placed under my care? What responsibilities and obligations have you given me towards this person? How can I equalize the injustice that I am a party to? How are you calling me to use my voice?  What part do I have to play in your work of salvation? After you have a moment to reflect, I want us to take a moment where you will decide and take on action today as you begin this journey of living in the Spirit of Sabbath. Maybe you will decide to research ways to get more involved in your community. Maybe there is an injustice that you are already aware that you want to speak out against. Maybe there is a way you want to begin to use your voice to stand up for the marginalized among you. Maybe you are going to take this week to actively pray to God for wisdom on how to be a part of the healing work of justice. With your eyes closed and your heads bowed, we will take a moment how to reflect, decide and act. Closing Prayer: Dear Heavenly God, we ask you for the wisdom to know how I can be an instrument of justice in this world. As we enter into the spirit of Sabbath, give us a heart to relieve the suffering of the world and rectify the injustices that are within our power to rectify. Let every hard moment, every uncomfortable truth, be an invitation to find refuge in You. And may my time with you transform me and give me the wisdom I need to impart your grace, healing and equality into the world. Amen.

Summary and reflection of the book "The Power of Ritual" by Casper Ter Kuile.

Biracial, bisexual, bicultural, we all hold complex that identities that require us to learn self-integration and self-acceptance. Exploring the story of the tragic mulatto and other "bi" stories of history, we learn how to better engage in spaces of cultural acceptance, not forcing anyone to deny parts of their identity in order to gain greater acceptance in the dominant community.