34. Why You Shut Down, Freeze or Dissociate: Autism, Trauma Responses & the Nervous System | Inner Stability, Season 3

34. Why You Shut Down, Freeze or Dissociate: Autism, Trauma Responses & the Nervous System | Inner Stability, Season 3

Here we explore the difference between * the Freeze trauma response, * autistic Shutdown, and * Dissociation in autistic women in trauma recovery.   Welcome back to Season 3 of Light in the Battle:Inner Stability — a podcast for autistic women healing from narcissistic abuse, where we become clearer, calmer, and spiritually and legally harder to mess with. Find me on Facebook [www.facebook.com/lightinthebattle]. In Episode 32, we explored why high-conflict co-parentingis such a uniquely dysregulating environment for autistic women. In Episode 33, we looked at what happens when trauma teaches the autistic nervous system to expect danger. Now we're looking at what can happen when that systemreaches capacity. Freeze. Shutdown. Dissociation. They aren't the same thing, although they can overlap — and when you're an autistic single mother navigating trauma recovery, CPTSD, PTSD, sensory overwhelm, executive dysfunction and high-conflict situations, figuring out exactly what's happening inside your brain and body can be complicated. Sometimes you know exactly what needs to be done... but you can't do it. You stare at the email for three hours. You can't make the phone call. Someone asks you an unexpected question, and suddenly youcan't find your words. You're physically present during a conversation, butmentally, you're somewhere else entirely. Or maybe you've held it together through the court deadline,the difficult message from your ex, work, noise, a changed schedule and your child's meltdown — and then it turns out it's time for dinner. And that's what finally breaks the system. In this episode, we explore: * A brief reminder of the 4 trauma responses –fight, flight, freeze and fawn. * What a trauma freeze response can look like ineveryday life * The difference between trauma-related freeze and autistic shutdown * How sensory overload, emotional stress, uncertainty and accumulated demands can push an autistic woman's nervous system beyond capacity * Why autism and trauma responses can be so difficult to separate * What dissociation can actually feel like — including the less dramatic forms people may not recognize * Why you can appear completely functional on the outside while having absolutely nothing left internally * How masking can hide the true extent of overwhelm * Why freeze, shutdown and dissociation can affect communication, decision-making, memory and self-advocacy * Why all of this matters when you're dealing with narcissistic abuse, high-conflict co-parenting or legal abuse in family court For autistic women, the question isn't simply: "What triggered this? What am I afraid of?" Today, the better question is: "How many things has my brain been forced toprocess?" Is it an autistic shutdown? A trauma response? Sensoryoverload? Executive dysfunction? Or several of the above at once? Well, there isn't a clean answer. But understanding what's happening matters — because when your system is overwhelmed, you may struggle to communicate clearly, make decisions, recall information or stay present during important interactions. And for an autistic survivor of narcissistic abuse navigating high-conflict co-parenting or family court, inner stability is part of being able to function. Sometimes your system isn't refusing to function. It's telling you that its capacity has been exceeded. In Episode 32, we looked at the environment. In Episode 33, we looked at what trauma can do to the nervous system. Here, we're looking at what can happen when that system reaches capacity. And next, we will start talking about what we can actually doabout it. Follow Light in the Battle to continue Season 3:Inner Stability, a journey through autism, ASD, nervous system regulation, trauma recovery and staying stable in high-conflict situations. Disclaimer: This podcast shares lived experiencerelated to autism, ASD, narcissistic abuse recovery, legal abuse and trauma recovery. It is not a substitute for professional medical, legal or mental health advice. Take it one day at a time.

33. Autism, Trauma, Neuroplasticity & the Nervous System: Why Your Brain Stays in Survival Mode After Narcissistic Abuse (ASD, Trauma, Legal Abuse, Post-Separation Abuse) | Inner Stability, Season 3

Here's what trauma has done to your autistic nervous system. In Season 3 we are "zooming in" the day- to-day reality of living with trauma, while we do the extensive, long term work of healing from narcissistic abuse. We work to understand trauma, and we explore ways to heal the nervous system. In this particular episode, we discuss why autistic brains are particularly prone to trauma after abuse, what that feels like in daily life, and we talk about neuroplasticity. Your brain has become traumatized. It can become healthy. It works both ways.

32. Why Autistic Women's Nervous Systems get so Dysregulated in High-Conflict Co-Parenting (ASD, Trauma, Legal Abuse, Post-Separation Abuse & Narcissistic Abuse) | Inner Stability, Season 3

In this episode, we explore: • Why high-conflict co-parenting is uniquely dysregulatingfor autistic women • How ASD nervous systems respond to unpredictability and coparenting conflict • Why your body may feel constantly “on alert” after narcissistic abuse • Hypervigilance, overthinking, fawning, and emotional exhaustion • The impact of high-conflict coparenting on sleep, sensory overwhelm, executive functioning, your parenting bandwidth, and your work capacity. • Why autistic women often mask, fawn, or over-explain under stress • How nervous system dysregulation affects communication and legal strategy • Why emotional detachment is difficult when the body still feels unsafe Welcome to Season 3 of Light in the Battle : InnerStability — a podcast for autistic women healing from narcissistic abuse, where we become clearer, calmer, and spiritually and legally harder to mess with. In Season 2, we focused on Emotional Detachment: * Breaking the Trauma Bond [https://open.spotify.com/episode/6GLhQpZcaZTklI1336hNt7?si=5e457f5d823a43c5] * PTSD and CPTSD recovery [https://open.spotify.com/episode/0MBjbaMIlxg8o6zAD6Ja7H?si=d7c4b01f21974e4e] * forgiveness [https://open.spotify.com/episode/2DfdCn1iiWjCPt0tA1yUZO?si=8281a28e4f814344], not reconciliation * codependency as a general concept [https://open.spotify.com/episode/2CZhq156M1LXV8pmMwhfNy?si=48bef95932514243] but more specifically in autistic women here [https://open.spotify.com/episode/6mfqBlPjYV0N0pRKcg2Jj3?si=9e7036e6e54043ca]. * the importance of fellowship and mentorship [https://open.spotify.com/episode/5gKWOWAU63O6zjpplc4f6x?si=8ed45158987f40dc] * gratitude after narcissistic abuse [https://open.spotify.com/episode/2JeKt4jYARGo2pkPi6VKAh?si=d91b7267c81f4df0] * surrender [https://open.spotify.com/episode/6puNrC8LIs7RMsQxvszeBo?si=e40025e8f12643bb] * grief [https://open.spotify.com/episode/0stSm44foGX2eW5366jH2P?si=fc4d7ec6868f4395] The goal was to suggest an overall journey to go through in order to detach and become a Family Court Ninja [https://open.spotify.com/episode/5yFXZYWx1LU7jMJzssaQIc?si=a42fe48ffb714c6c]. Here we move into the next phase, learning how to stabilize your nervous system while living through high-conflict realities. In your daily to day.   Because understanding narcissistic abuse, post-separation abuse and legal abuse is one thing. But functioning calmly, strategically and consistently while dealing with family court anxiety [https://open.spotify.com/episode/6ttHAY1koRZxM4pWRJGLFK?si=ofj8qDqtRoOhxkbJ31e2sQ], co-parenting conflict, unpredictability, and emotional pressure, is something else entirely. For many survivors of narcissistic abuse, high-conflict co-parenting becomes more than a legal situation. It becomes a chronic nervous system stressor. And autistic women are especially vulnerable to this because many of us rely on: * predictability, * emotional safety, * routine, * clear rules to follow, to function well. When those disappear, the nervous system may begin reacting as though danger is constant. That can look like: * re-reading messages repeatedly * adrenaline spikes when you hear notifications * freezing during conflict * difficulty relaxing when the child is away * constant mental scanning. This episode is not about blaming yourself for your reactions. It’s about understanding why your system responds this way — and why regulation matters. Because you cannot stay strategic, emotionally detached or calm under pressure, if your nervous system is constantly in survival mode. This season is about learning how to build Inner Stability. 👉 Follow the show to continue Season 3 👉Leave a 5* review if this podcast is helping you navigate trauma recovery, autism (ASD), and high-conflict co-parenting 👉 Follow Light in the Battle on Facebook [www.facebook.com/lightinthebattle]for daily hacks and to DM me directly if needed. Take it one day at a time. Disclaimer: This podcast shares lived experience related tonarcissistic abuse recovery, trauma recovery, autism and ASD. It is not a substitute for professional medical, legal, or mental health advice. High conflict coparenting, high conflict divorce, family court, custody battle, narcissistic abuse survivor, autism, autistic single mother

31. You are Allowed to be Calm - With PTSD and ADHD, Prolonged Legal Abuse and Narcissistic Abuse, Train Your Nervous System to Enjoy Calm Again

Your nervous system has been trained to stay on high alert. That's what's familiar. And so being calm feels unsafe. Over time, and it's an integral part of PTSD or CPTSD recovery [https://open.spotify.com/episode/0MBjbaMIlxg8o6zAD6Ja7H?si=_-cNQcGQT_OXBz1tqksbGQ], you can train your nervous system to enjoy those moments of calm. They're actually what will make you more impactful in family court [https://open.spotify.com/episode/5yFXZYWx1LU7jMJzssaQIc?si=jk1dBa4bT_KLXFFpsVkQjQ], and they're an integral part of narcissistic abuse recovery [https://www.lightinthebattle.com/post/healing-from-narcissistic-abuse-a-survivor-s-guide]. When navigating narcissistic abuse, prolonged post-separation abuse and legal abuse [https://www.lightinthebattle.com/post/recognizing-legal-abuse-signs-your-ex-may-be-manipulating-the-legal-system-and-how-to-respond], you may be carrying CPTSD or PTSD. Add ADHD and ASD into the mix, and you've got a pretty messed up nervous system. The good news is that just like your nervous system was trained for stress, you can train it to enjoy peace, and calm. Not a legal nor mental health professional. Bring anything that resonates to the attention of a professional. Find me on Facebook at ⁠Light in the Battle⁠ [https://www.facebook.com/lightinthebattle/] where we can chat. I still have time to help survivors see through the fog, to assist them with their mindset shift, and I do this for free at the moment. www.lightinthebattle.com [www.lightinthebattle.com]

30. Stop Explaining Yourself – to your High-Conflict Coparent, as an ASD Mom, or as the Parent of a PDA child: Narcissistic Abuse and PTSD Recovery and Reclaiming your Agency.

We've been trained to explain ourselves. Either through a toxic abusive relationship, through a lifetime of living with autism and being misunderstood, or by walking the journey of raising a child with autism and/or PDA. It's taking energy away from what matters: your mental health, and your kids. When people are committed to misunderstanding you, consciously or not, share what you have to share and keep it moving. In this episode Faustina reflects on her journey with all of the above and explains why sharing less, is actually safer. In the context of coparenting with a narcissist, or someone who exhibits dysfunctional traits of behavior, the way you communicate, and how much content you produce as you attempt to explain your decisions, can be used against you in family court. Judges won't be able to see who the safe, child-focused parent is if you ramble and come from an emotional place. Detach, share what you legally have to share, and be on your merry way. In the context of raising a PDA child, you'll be making decisions that most parents won't understand. And unless they are willing to educate themselves and research PDA, there is approximately zero point in explaining why you're raising the kids this or that way. It's not your job to educate people when every ounce of your energy must be preserved. In the context of a late autism diagnosis, and faced with the adjustments that you make to your life as you start to unmask, the people who have known you for a long time won't take it well either. Maybe they can't be friends with the person you really are without the autistic masking. Maybe they weren't the right people for you all along. Unless they behave like safe people, they don't deserve your explanations. You're already exhausted from figuring out how to function in a neurotypical world. Please take whatever resonates with you to the attention of a legal or mental health professional. You DO have to disclose certain things to your coparent, and you DO want to build safe connection with your safe people as you crawl your way out of CPTSD or PTSD.