Living in the Gray

Who am I?

6 min · 17. feb. 2026
episode Who am I? cover

Description

What happens when you near the end of life? What questions do you find yourself asking. This is what I'm leaning into today and it comes on the heels of James Van Der Beek's death who died of colorectal cancer in February 2026. In the last video before he died, he shares the question he has been asking himself, "Who am I? What am I?" In the video he said, "I am worthy of God's life simply because I exist and if I'm worthy of God's love, shouldn't I be worthy of my own? And the same is true is for you." Links from this episode: My Book! Living in the Gray – A Memoir About Navigating Life’s Paradoxes [https://www.amazon.com/Living-Gray-Memoir-Navigating-Paradoxes/dp/B0FNHP1J4R] James Van Der Beek video [https://youtu.be/9L4JAAoKAx0?si=T8IHto72TESPhq2i] If you heard yourself in today’s episode, you’re not alone. My book, Living in the Gray gathers ten years of writing about living inside life’s paradoxes — the both/and moments that shape who we become. It’s a deeper look at the questions behind these conversations. Visit my website [https://www.aprilcapochinomyers.com/] or Amazon [https://www.amazon.com/Living-Gray-Memoir-Navigating-Paradoxes/dp/B0FNHP1J4R] to explore the book, and join me on social media: * Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/capochinomyers/?hl=en] * LinkedIn: [https://www.linkedin.com/in/april-capochino-myers-6885b24/] * Facebook [https://www.facebook.com/capochinomyers] * Substack [https://aprilcapochinomyers.substack.com/welcome]

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42 episodes

episode 19 Years artwork

19 Years

We have a special guest for this episode who is literally sharing a mic with me as we explore the last two decades of our marriage! Luke and I talk about this season of our lives, why marriage is work and a couple of tricks we use to keep the conversations fresh. Links from this episode: My Book! Living in the Gray – A Memoir About Navigating Life’s Paradoxes [https://www.amazon.com/Living-Gray-Memoir-Navigating-Paradoxes/dp/B0FNHP1J4R] How do you See the World [https://a.co/d/0atonXOp] card game Couple Reconnect [https://a.co/d/0aFZZyMH] card game If you heard yourself in today’s episode, you’re not alone. My book, Living in the Gray gathers ten years of writing about living inside life’s paradoxes — the both/and moments that shape who we become. It’s a deeper look at the questions behind these conversations. Visit my website [https://www.aprilcapochinomyers.com/] or Amazon [https://www.amazon.com/Living-Gray-Memoir-Navigating-Paradoxes/dp/B0FNHP1J4R] to explore the book, and join me on social media: * Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/capochinomyers/?hl=en] * LinkedIn: [https://www.linkedin.com/in/april-capochino-myers-6885b24/] * Facebook [https://www.facebook.com/capochinomyers] * Substack [https://aprilcapochinomyers.substack.com/welcome]

16. juni 202628 min
episode Lead with Love artwork

Lead with Love

I'm back! Welcome to the First Episode of Season 2! We are talking about choosing love in difficult moments, why I want to live more like my 12-year-old niece and the wisdom of daily meditation. If you heard yourself in today’s episode, you’re not alone. My book, Living in the Gray gathers ten years of writing about living inside life’s paradoxes — the both/and moments that shape who we become. It’s a deeper look at the questions behind these conversations. Visit my website [https://www.aprilcapochinomyers.com/] or Amazon [https://www.amazon.com/Living-Gray-Memoir-Navigating-Paradoxes/dp/B0FNHP1J4R] to explore the book, and join me on social media: * Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/capochinomyers/?hl=en] * LinkedIn: [https://www.linkedin.com/in/april-capochino-myers-6885b24/] * Facebook [https://www.facebook.com/capochinomyers] * Substack [https://aprilcapochinomyers.substack.com/welcome] Links from this episode: My Book! Living in the Gray – A Memoir About Navigating Life’s Paradoxes [https://www.amazon.com/Living-Gray-Memoir-Navigating-Paradoxes/dp/B0FNHP1J4R] Insight Timer (It’s free!) [https://insighttimer.com/]

9. juni 202610 min
episode God's Plan artwork

God's Plan

Last episode of Season 1 and I explore why I find so much peace leaning into God's plan. I discuss the power of rejection, my own worthiness and why life doesn't happen to us but for us. Links from this episode: My Book! Living in the Gray – A Memoir About Navigating Life’s Paradoxes [https://www.amazon.com/Living-Gray-Memoir-Navigating-Paradoxes/dp/B0FNHP1J4R] God's Plan (visual) [https://sl.bing.net/fg7ivRSdu2u] If you heard yourself in today’s episode, you’re not alone. My book, Living in the Gray gathers ten years of writing about living inside life’s paradoxes — the both/and moments that shape who we become. It’s a deeper look at the questions behind these conversations. Visit my website [https://www.aprilcapochinomyers.com/] or Amazon [https://www.amazon.com/Living-Gray-Memoir-Navigating-Paradoxes/dp/B0FNHP1J4R] to explore the book, and join me on social media: * Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/capochinomyers/?hl=en] * LinkedIn: [https://www.linkedin.com/in/april-capochino-myers-6885b24/] * Facebook [https://www.facebook.com/capochinomyers] * Substack [https://aprilcapochinomyers.substack.com/welcome]

26. mar. 202612 min
episode Kindness artwork

Kindness

In this episode, I eat a ton of mini Cadbury eggs early in the morning, before drinking my first cup of coffee and I break down why kindness matters, why meditation helps me with the anxiety train, and why grace is important in remembering that we all struggle. Links from this episode: My Book! Living in the Gray – A Memoir About Navigating Life’s Paradoxes [https://www.amazon.com/Living-Gray-Memoir-Navigating-Paradoxes/dp/B0FNHP1J4R] Insight Timer [https://insighttimer.com/] If you heard yourself in today’s episode, you’re not alone. My book, Living in the Gray gathers ten years of writing about living inside life’s paradoxes — the both/and moments that shape who we become. It’s a deeper look at the questions behind these conversations. Visit my website [https://www.aprilcapochinomyers.com/] or Amazon [https://www.amazon.com/Living-Gray-Memoir-Navigating-Paradoxes/dp/B0FNHP1J4R] to explore the book, and join me on social media: * Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/capochinomyers/?hl=en] * LinkedIn: [https://www.linkedin.com/in/april-capochino-myers-6885b24/] * Facebook [https://www.facebook.com/capochinomyers] * Substack [https://aprilcapochinomyers.substack.com/welcome]

10. mar. 202611 min
episode Do the thing artwork

Do the thing

Failure is part of life and it's time we embrace it. In this episode, I talk about our family dinners, baseball, taking chances, the importance of failing forward and why the only time you can truly fail is when you don't try. Links from this episode: My Book! Living in the Gray – A Memoir About Navigating Life’s Paradoxes [https://www.amazon.com/Living-Gray-Memoir-Navigating-Paradoxes/dp/B0FNHP1J4R] Sarah Blakely's story [https://nationalcioreview.com/video/sara-blakely-overcoming-fear-of-failure/] If you heard yourself in today’s episode, you’re not alone. My book, Living in the Gray gathers ten years of writing about living inside life’s paradoxes — the both/and moments that shape who we become. It’s a deeper look at the questions behind these conversations. Visit my website [https://www.aprilcapochinomyers.com/] or Amazon [https://www.amazon.com/Living-Gray-Memoir-Navigating-Paradoxes/dp/B0FNHP1J4R] to explore the book, and join me on social media: * Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/capochinomyers/?hl=en] * LinkedIn: [https://www.linkedin.com/in/april-capochino-myers-6885b24/] * Facebook [https://www.facebook.com/capochinomyers] * Substack [https://aprilcapochinomyers.substack.com/welcome]

24. feb. 20266 min