Love, Happiness, and Success For Therapists

Solution-Focused Couples Therapy: A Clinician’s Guide | Elliott Connie | E99

1 h 0 min · 20. maj 2026
Billede af episoden Solution-Focused Couples Therapy: A Clinician’s Guide | Elliott Connie | E99

Description

Elliott Connie thinks most of what we were trained to do in couples therapy is, in his words, ridiculous. The way he explains it: if you get shot with an arrow, does it help you to know who shot you, or do you just want the arrow out? That’s the question that anchors solution-focused couples therapy [http://www.growingself.com/solution-focused-couples-therapy/]. And it’s the question that’s been quietly changing how a generation of clinicians thinks about the work. In this episode, I sit down with Elliott Connie, founder of The Solution Focused Universe, co-author of The Solution Focused Brief Therapy Diamond with Adam Froerer, and one of the clinicians I most respect in our field. Elliott and I did a consumer-facing conversation last year. This one is the clinician’s cut, and the question I most wanted him to answer: what has to change in the therapist before the technique can land? You’ll hear: * Why the entire premise of “understanding the client’s problem” might be what’s keeping them stuck, and Elliott’s arrow analogy that reframes the work in one minute flat * The two clinical realizations that almost made Elliott quit graduate school, and the professor who changed everything * What “practicing from a solution-focused stance” actually means in the room, and why grafting SFBT techniques onto a problem-focused practice usually doesn’t work * Why being a good therapist has more in common with being a good spouse than a good employee, and Elliott’s “relationship, not occupation” reframe * The truth about CBT’s research dominance, including the story of the statistics professor who admitted why CBT keeps winning the citation game * Why Elliott calls it unethical to graduate from a counseling program and never pick up another research article, and the simple fix if you’ve been guilty of this * Where to start if you want to learn SFBT well, including Elliott’s books, his training organization, and the unexpected place his career has taken him This episode is for any clinician who has finished a couples session feeling more depleted than the couple in the room. It’s also for anyone who has wondered, quietly, whether the way you were trained to do this work is the way you actually believe in. Elliott’s argument is that the answer to clinician exhaustion isn’t a new technique. It’s a stance shift. And if you’ve been carrying questions about your own clinical orientation, this conversation will ask you to look at them honestly. Episode Breakdown 0:00 Why understanding the problem might be what’s keeping your clients stuck 05:00 How therapists got indoctrinated into problem-focused work 11:00 From the graduate school Elliott almost quit to the work that found him 27:00 Therapy as a relationship, not an occupation 35:00 What solution-focused brief therapy actually is 37:00 A session that didn’t address the problem (and what happened instead) 47:00 Inside the Solution Focused Universe and Elliott’s mission to train better therapists 52:00 The research, the bias, and the obligation to keep learning 01:03:00 The skeptic’s question and the surprising next chapter of Elliott’s career Resources * Read the full article [https://www.growingself.com/solution-focused-couples-therapy/%E2%81%A0] * The Therapist Growth Collective [https://www.growingself.com/therapist-growth-collective/%E2%81%A0] for ongoing professional development and peer community If this conversation gave you something to chew on, or made you want to argue with your screen, I’d love for you to share it with a colleague. That’s how this show finds the clinicians it’s meant to find. And if you want to keep having these kinds of conversations week after week, come find us in the Therapist Growth Collective. The link is below. XO, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Growing Self [https://www.growingself.com]

Comments

0

Be the first to comment

Sign up now and become a member of the Love, Happiness, and Success For Therapists community!

Get Started

1 month for 9 kr.

Then 99 kr. / month · Cancel anytime

  • Podcasts kun på Podimo
  • 20 lydbogstimer pr. måned
  • Gratis podcasts

All episodes

122 episodes

episode Power Dynamics Can RUIN Therapy: Avoid These Pitfalls | LHSFT Classic artwork

Power Dynamics Can RUIN Therapy: Avoid These Pitfalls | LHSFT Classic

Ever feel like something’s “off” in your therapeutic relationships but can’t quite put your finger on it? The answer might lie in hidden power dynamics that could be impacting your clients in ways you didn’t realize. In today's episode, we're revisiting the subtle, often unnoticed imbalances that naturally occur between therapist and client—and more importantly, what you can do to manage them effectively so that they don't sabotage the work. I’ll walk you through practical strategies to create more equitable relationships, promote client autonomy, and avoid the common pitfalls of disempowerment and dependency. With over 50 therapists under my supervision, I’ve seen firsthand how even well-meaning professionals can fall into these traps. I’ll also be sharing personal insights and tools you can start using in your next session. Join me for this vital conversation and let’s work together to ensure we’re empowering our clients in every way possible AND avoiding the pitfalls that can ruin therapy (and even get you in hot water as a therapist).   What You’ll Learn: 03:24:Why Power Differentials Are Unavoidable 11:21: The Consequences of Unmanaged Power Dynamics 22:26: Strategies for Reducing Imbalances in Your Sessions 25:00: How to Collaborate and Be Transparent with Clients  32:11: Final Thoughts & Free Resources for Therapists  I can’t wait for you to tune in! Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby And don’t forget! I have a *FREE* 2-part training just for therapists, where I’ll show you how to get clear about your professional trajectory, and integrate coaching techniques into your practice for even more effective results. You can access it at ⁠growingself.com/coaching⁠ [http://growingself.com/coaching-certification-for-therapists]

15. juli 202635 min
episode Booked Solid. Broke Anyway. The Therapist Money Crisis Nobody Talks About | E103 artwork

Booked Solid. Broke Anyway. The Therapist Money Crisis Nobody Talks About | E103

You're fully booked. The money is coming in. So why does your bank account still feel stressed? If you've ever looked around your practice and thought, "I should be making more than this..." you're not imagining it. In this episode, I sit down with CPA and cash flow strategist Emily Bowie to talk about cash flow for therapists [http://www.growingself.com/cash-flow-for-therapists/] and the financial trap nobody warned us about: earning more is not the same thing as keeping more. Here's the uncomfortable truth: You can have a thriving practice. You can bring in hundreds of thousands of dollars. You can even build a multi-million-dollar business... ...and still have no idea where your money is going. I know because I did exactly that. At one point,I was leading a practice that looked to be very successful from the outside, but because I didn't know how to read a financial statement, there was so much I was missing and it caused major problems. In this episode, you'll learn: * Why "just get more clients" is often the worst solution to money stress * The hidden reason tax season feels like a yearly ambush * How to know if your sessions are actually profitable * The expense leaks quietly draining your practice * Why charging more isn't selfish—and may actually be ethical * The financial blind spots that can impact your clinical decisions * How to build a practice that supports both your clients and your future Because financial stress doesn't stay in your bank account. It follows you into your boundaries, your burnout, your pricing, and your decisions. And until you understand your numbers, you're flying blind. If you've ever thought, "I'm working this hard. Why doesn't it feel easier?" This episode is for you. www.growingself.com

8. juli 202653 min
episode Struggling in Therapy Private Practice? Here’s Why (And What To Do Differently) | E102 artwork

Struggling in Therapy Private Practice? Here’s Why (And What To Do Differently) | E102

If your practice is growing but you're more exhausted than ever... if you're working nights and weekends just to stay caught up... if you're making more money but somehow feeling less free... this episode is for you. Because here's the truth nobody tells therapists: you can be exceptional at helping clients and still build a practice [https://www.growingself.com/private-practice-management-therapists/] that quietly burns you out. In this conversation, I'm joined by Dr. Jennifer Wisdom, a consulting psychologist and organizational consultant who has spent more than 25 years studying how organizations actually function. She helps leaders identify the hidden problems that keep businesses stuck, and today we're applying those insights directly to therapy practices. Because the biggest threat to your practice isn't a lack of clients. It's the management skills nobody ever taught you. The same qualities that make you a wonderful therapist—being deeply empathetic, avoiding conflict, carrying more than your share, and putting everyone else's needs first—can become the exact things that create overwhelm, chaos, and burnout when you're running a business. In this episode, you'll learn: * Why so many successful therapists secretly feel trapped by the practices they've built * The hidden difference between being a great clinician and being an effective practice owner * Why more clients and more revenue don't automatically create more freedom * The leadership mistake that leaves therapists carrying everything on their backs * How "being nice" can quietly undermine your team, culture, and profitability * Why AI, EHR systems, and productivity tools can't solve a management problem * The burnout warning signs that show up long before the numbers reveal a problem * The money metrics every practice owner should understand—but most never look at * How to delegate, give feedback, and lead without feeling like the bad guy * Where to start when your practice feels disorganized, overwhelming, or out of control This episode is a reality check, but it's also a roadmap. Because if you've been telling yourself that you just need to work harder, be more organized, or somehow get better at juggling it all, I want you to know something: the problem may not be you. It may be that nobody ever taught you how to run the business you built. And once you understand the difference, everything starts to make a lot more sense. Xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Growing Self [www.growingself.com]

1. juli 202654 min
episode Uncovering Your Blindspots: Cultural Competence in Therapy | LHSFT Classic artwork

Uncovering Your Blindspots: Cultural Competence in Therapy | LHSFT Classic

All therapists have blindspots, and learning to recognize them is deep personal and professional growth work. It will make you more empathetic, more insightful, and more insightful, not only as a therapist, but also as a human.   But the thing about blindspots is... we can't see them! ⁠ Uncovering your blind spots to become a more culturally competent therapist⁠ [https://www.growingself.com/uncovering-blindspots-cultural-competence-in-therapy] is a process of self-exploration that will unearth perspectives and conditioning that you're not even aware of yet. It requires openness and courage, and it strengthens your capacity for self-reflection and connection to others.  That exploratory process is what we're talking about on this episode of Love, Happiness and Success for Therapists. My guest is Dr. Diane Estrada, a veteran of the craft and my long-time mentor. Diane brings so much heart and wisdom to her practice, as well as to her work helping others become the best therapists they can be. She's a treasure, and I'm so excited that I get to share her with you! Tune in to learn: 02:10 The Impact of Cultural and Identity Biases in Therapy 04:01 How to Develop Self-Awareness as a Therapist 12:08 Recognizing the Influence of Eurocentric Models 23:33 Reckoning with Feelings of Anger and Resentment 28:01 Seeing the Presence of Culture and Belief Systems 35:52 Practices for Growth and Development 39:52 The Importance of Checks and Balances 40:59 The Challenge of Engaging in Difficult Conversations 42:07 Understanding Your Clients' Context 43:30 Creating Courageous Space 44:18 Balancing Emotional Safety and Growth 45:08 Overcoming the Discomfort of Addressing Race   And more!   I hope you'll join us, and that you'll find our conversation as insightful and helpful as I did.    With love,    Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby    P.S. — Are you at risk of therapist burnout? Take my free quiz [https://s.pointerpro.com/flourish%E2%81%A0]and find out.

24. juni 202643 min
episode Can Therapists Give Advice? How to Empower Clients While Staying Ethical | LHSFT Classic artwork

Can Therapists Give Advice? How to Empower Clients While Staying Ethical | LHSFT Classic

Ever had a client look at you, desperate for help, and ask, “What should I do?” Today, I’m pulling back the curtain on a dilemma that I hear from therapists all the time: “My clients are stuck, they need direction, and they’re asking me for advice. But I’m supposed to stay neutral, right?”  On one hand, we want to help, but on the other, we’ve been trained to stay neutral and let the client find their own answers. So ⁠can therapists give advice?⁠ [https://www.growingself.com/can-therapists-give-advice] What’s the right move when your client is stuck and clearly craving direction? In this episode of Love, Happiness and Success For Therapists, we're diving into the inner conflict therapists face between sticking to our non-directive, empathetic listening style and providing the more concrete guidance that many clients are asking for. I’ll also show how evidence-based coaching can complement therapy in a powerful way and provide that direction in your sessions. You’ll get clear, actionable steps on how to navigate this tricky balance—without stepping outside of your ethical boundaries. You don’t want to miss this! Episode Breakdown 00:00 Introduction: The Therapist's Dilemma 02:49 What Is the Role of a Therapist? 06:35 Why Do Therapists Struggle to Be More Direct? 09:16 How to Balance Client Expectations with Therapeutic Boundaries 15:19 Is Coaching the Solution? 20:24 What's the Difference Between Therapy and Coaching? 27:38 How Can Therapists Become Certified Coaches? 34:29 Resources for Therapists and Coaches If you’re feeling inspired by what I’ve shared and you’re ready to give your clients the directive support that they need, I’d love to invite you to take the next step in your professional development with my BCC-Accredited ⁠ Coaching Certification for Therapists⁠ [https://courses.growingself.com/coaching-certification-for-therapists].  This program is designed specifically for therapists like you who want to build coaching competencies while staying within the ethical boundaries of your practice. You’ll receive 30 CEU credits for completing the certification and walk away with the skills to deliver more actionable, client-centered guidance that will help your clients get the results they’re asking for.  👉 ⁠ Transform your practice by learning how to coach⁠ [https://courses.growingself.com/coaching-certification-for-therapists]. If you want to stay updated on the latest podcast episodes, learn about upcoming free CEU webinars, and be a part of a supportive professional network, I’d love to connect with you on LinkedIn! ⁠Find me at Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby⁠ [https://www.linkedin.com/in/drlisabobby/]. I share research, training opportunities, and news updates to help you grow, develop new skills, and thrive! Xoxo ⁠Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby⁠ [https://www.growingself.com/therapists/] ⁠ www.growingself.com⁠ [https://courses.growingself.com/coaching-certification-for-therapists] PS: If you found this episode valuable, think about someone in your professional community who could benefit from this conversation. Share it with them, and let’s keep the discussion going!

17. juni 202641 min