Love, Happiness, and Success For Therapists
Elliott Connie thinks most of what we were trained to do in couples therapy is, in his words, ridiculous. The way he explains it: if you get shot with an arrow, does it help you to know who shot you, or do you just want the arrow out? That’s the question that anchors solution-focused couples therapy [http://www.growingself.com/solution-focused-couples-therapy/]. And it’s the question that’s been quietly changing how a generation of clinicians thinks about the work. In this episode, I sit down with Elliott Connie, founder of The Solution Focused Universe, co-author of The Solution Focused Brief Therapy Diamond with Adam Froerer, and one of the clinicians I most respect in our field. Elliott and I did a consumer-facing conversation last year. This one is the clinician’s cut, and the question I most wanted him to answer: what has to change in the therapist before the technique can land? You’ll hear: * Why the entire premise of “understanding the client’s problem” might be what’s keeping them stuck, and Elliott’s arrow analogy that reframes the work in one minute flat * The two clinical realizations that almost made Elliott quit graduate school, and the professor who changed everything * What “practicing from a solution-focused stance” actually means in the room, and why grafting SFBT techniques onto a problem-focused practice usually doesn’t work * Why being a good therapist has more in common with being a good spouse than a good employee, and Elliott’s “relationship, not occupation” reframe * The truth about CBT’s research dominance, including the story of the statistics professor who admitted why CBT keeps winning the citation game * Why Elliott calls it unethical to graduate from a counseling program and never pick up another research article, and the simple fix if you’ve been guilty of this * Where to start if you want to learn SFBT well, including Elliott’s books, his training organization, and the unexpected place his career has taken him This episode is for any clinician who has finished a couples session feeling more depleted than the couple in the room. It’s also for anyone who has wondered, quietly, whether the way you were trained to do this work is the way you actually believe in. Elliott’s argument is that the answer to clinician exhaustion isn’t a new technique. It’s a stance shift. And if you’ve been carrying questions about your own clinical orientation, this conversation will ask you to look at them honestly. Episode Breakdown 0:00 Why understanding the problem might be what’s keeping your clients stuck 05:00 How therapists got indoctrinated into problem-focused work 11:00 From the graduate school Elliott almost quit to the work that found him 27:00 Therapy as a relationship, not an occupation 35:00 What solution-focused brief therapy actually is 37:00 A session that didn’t address the problem (and what happened instead) 47:00 Inside the Solution Focused Universe and Elliott’s mission to train better therapists 52:00 The research, the bias, and the obligation to keep learning 01:03:00 The skeptic’s question and the surprising next chapter of Elliott’s career Resources * Read the full article [https://www.growingself.com/solution-focused-couples-therapy/%E2%81%A0] * The Therapist Growth Collective [https://www.growingself.com/therapist-growth-collective/%E2%81%A0] for ongoing professional development and peer community If this conversation gave you something to chew on, or made you want to argue with your screen, I’d love for you to share it with a colleague. That’s how this show finds the clinicians it’s meant to find. And if you want to keep having these kinds of conversations week after week, come find us in the Therapist Growth Collective. The link is below. XO, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Growing Self [https://www.growingself.com]
122 episodes
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