Leaking, Prolapse, Painful Sex. Let's Talk About Your Pelvic Floor with Pelvic Physiotherapist, Michelle Murphy.

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These problems are far more common than most of us realise and far less talked about than they should be. There’s a group of muscles working hard for us every single day that most of us never give a second thought to, until something goes wrong. Problems more common than you might think. Almost 4 in 10 women and 2 in 10 men experience urinary incontinence - with 7 in 10 of those people under 65. Around 1 in 30 experience bowel incontinence (Continence Health Australia). Common? Yes. But they are not an inevitable part of aging. Our Pelvic Floor. A rather complex group of muscles, together with fascia, ligaments, connective tissue, nerves and blood vessels. It literally holds up our bladder, bowel and for us women, our uterus, along with all their entry and exit points. The number of times a day those organs are called upon, all supported by this one hardworking structure we rarely think about, just because it’s down there. We don’t like talking about down there much do we? Hmm. Not today! That’s what Michelle Murphy, a pelvic physiotherapist with over 20 years of clinical experience, joins me to talk about our pelvic health - our Pelvic Floor in this very insightful and eye opening podcast chat. Michelle’s passion for helping us understand and treat pelvic floor problems absolutely shines through. A refreshing no shame approach to a topic we really should be talking about a lot more. And so, we are. What We Talk About In This Episode Pelvic Floor 101 - Anatomy and Function What even IS the Pelvic Floor? The parts that make up the Pelvic Floor, where they sit and what they do for us - literally the heavy lifting it does for us every day. Michelle also shows us with her clinical 3D model to illustrate, the complexity of this underappreciated, hard working part of our anatomy. Common Pelvic Floor Problems & How To Know That You Have Them The symptoms you might be experiencing that indicate that you might have Pelvic Floor Dysfunction (PDF). Problems that involve: * Bladder - leakage, frequency, urgency * Bowel - leakage, constipation, urgency + the Poo Chart (Bristol Stool Chart) * Sex - pain with intercourse, * Prolapse - what it is, why it happens, how it can feel and how common it is. The Genitourinary Syndrome of Menopause (GSM) - what it is, causes and symptoms. The influence it has on the Pelvic Floor. Not all problems need to be painful. But that they may hurt us in other, very real ways. The Emotional Load of Pelvic Floor Dysfunction (PFD) The embarrassment, shame and self-blame that so often comes with these problems - and why we need to leave them behind. What Can Help Your Pelvic Floor Problems may be common but that does not mean they are normal. Nor does it mean that nothing can be done to help. This is Michelle’s bread and butter as a specialist Pelvic Floor physio. * Pelvic Floor Exercises - the first line of defense because yes, they absolutely work. * The right exercises, done the right way, ‘dosed’ correctly and done consistently. * To Kegel or not to Kegel? Michelle clears up the confusion. * Knowing Your Baseline - the status of your Pelvic Floor muscles and how a Pelvic Floor Physio can assess this with you. * The Exercise Trap - The Overactive Pelvic Floor - it’s important to strengthen but it’s equally important to know how to relax these muscles. Athletes and women who have suffered with pelvic pain may be unknowingly holding tension there, which causes problems. * Vaginal Devices - The Pessary - Michelle shows us a pessary, a device she helps women to fit and remove that gives them great prolapse support. Helpful if they are not eligible or qualify for surgery. What to do now to protect and preserve our Pelvic Floor health - For Future Me We wind the clock forward and talk openly about what can happen as we age - both women and men. The convergence of needing to pee (or poo) often in the night + heightened risk of UTI’s (urinary tract infections) + poor bone health + falling and fracturing bones + dementia. An all too common story. The Importance of Preserving Your Baseline because if it drops, it’s much harder to get it back. And keeping it takes work! Worth it? Absolutely. For Future Me. Where To From Here? Michelle recommends doing the Australian Pelvic Floor Questionnaire. A series of super easy to answer questions to help determine where your baseline might be at. You’ll find a PDF link to it in the Resources section below. Final Thoughts Your Pelvic Floor does a lot of heavy lifting for you, every, single, day. Functions and support we take for granted, until it’s gone. It’s inevitable that as we age, that our Pelvic Floor will weaken. But we can do much to improve, protect and preserve it. It may be common, but it’s not normal. And you don’t have to just put up with it. For now and for Future You. About Michelle Murphy Michelle Murphy is an Australian pelvic health physiotherapist, educator, owner of Mercy Physiotherapy [https://mercyphysio.com.au/] and founder of Impact HQ [https://michellemurphy.com.au/]. With 20+ years’ experience, she empowers women through evidence-based education on pelvic health and menopause. Her mission: to bring awareness and understanding of Pelvic Floor health because it’s not spoken of nearly enough, it’s under-diagnosed and under-treated. It extends well beyond her clinic walls. That’s why this podcast chat :) Michelle is a newby on Substack so reach out and welcome her in. If you’ve listened to our chat, talk about that! Find Michelle on Substack here [https://substack.com/@michellemurphy920791?utm_source=global-search]. Thank you Michelle. Your passion, enthusiasm, knowledge, experience and dedication to our Pelvic Health is very much appreciated. Resources: The Australian Pelvic Floor Questionnaire [https://urogynaecology.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2018/08/australian-pelvic-floor-questionnaire-V2018.pdf] - start here to understand your baseline. The Anatomy of the Pelvic Floor [https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLdpC0SZfU2Oj72fBJBpvBRHw_92PBYiQb] - Continence Health Australia 3D anatomical model videos (both female and male). Genioturinary Syndrome of Menopause (GSM ) explained [https://www.racgp.org.au/afp/2017/july/genitourinary-syndrome-of-menopause] - an article from the Royal Australian College of General Practitioners - Australian Family Physician journal. The Vaginal Pessary [https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/treatments/16036-pessaries] - the vaginal device Michelle shows and talks about in this episode. Bristol Stool Chart [https://www.continence.org.au/about-incontinence/bowel-incontinence/bristol-stool-chart/] - to understand if your poo is normal (ideal) and how to recognise if it’s not. Thank you to everyone who tuned into my live video! Join me for my next live video in the app. I do apologise if the video is grainy at times. It seems choosing High Res is not always optimal. The audio is clear. If you found this episode helpful and think that others might get something out of it, please share it on. To your Pelvic Health. Anita xx This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit midlifeunfiltered.substack.com [https://midlifeunfiltered.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_1]

Dementia Life: Barb has cared for, loved and lost 5 people with dementia, including husband Peter.

In this very open and honest conversation, Barbara shares with me her remarkable story of caring for 5 loved ones who had dementia. Her mother-in-law, her mum, a dear aunty, her aunty’s close friend, and her husband Peter. She wanted to share her story with you so that if you’re also caring from someone with dementia it might give you some light in the darkness. If you are yet to care for someone with dementia, her story might shed some light on what it can be like. Personal stories give us a richness, a door to deeper understanding. Awareness about dementia is a focus for this podcast. Sharing stories like Barb’s help to bring that in a very relatable way. Beyond the medical and research facts. Real life. Dementia Life. Thank you Barb for your care, your devotion and courage to speak your story for others. Join Us As We Talk About… Peter’s Story Barb gives us insights into what it was like caring for her much loved husband Peter, the clues that dementia was presenting itself and how the condition progressed. Peter was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s at 65 and lived with it until he passed away at 76. Getting that diagnosis took two years. It was Barbara’s persistence, shaped by her care of four loved ones previously with dementia, that finally got that diagnosis. She describes the early signs, some that were easy to miss if you didn’t know what you were looking for. Barb knew. She’d seen some of them before. The many phone calls (sometimes 30 a day) Pete would make to her. The misplaced keys, forgotten meetings and the day Pete got completely lost driving a way home he was so very familiar with. That was the most confronting for Peter. The Masking One of the things Barb opens up about is how well Peter masked his dementia. He was very good at covering things up. His doctor couldn’t see what she could see. Colleagues at their car dealership weren’t ready to believe changes needed to be made in their business; but Barb could. Peter himself wanted to keep it a secret, which raised the painful question, ‘how much do you share, with whom, and when?’ Balancing his dignity and wishes against the practical reality of keeping him safe. That was hard. What Helped Barb shares some of the things that helped with these challenges. Reframing, not confronting. When it was time for Peter to stop driving, his doctor told him it was his eyesight that was making it unsafe for him to drive. Not dementia. Peter could accept that. He never would have accepted “you can’t drive anymore because you have dementia.” Finding the kind path to the same truth helps enormously. It maintains dignity and keeps things calmer. Loving understanding of family and friends - it helps to keep things calm which always helps. Confrontation does not. Keeping routines alive. Peter loved a glass of red wine and a beer. Rather than take that pleasure away, Barb switched to non-alcoholic versions. He never noticed. He was happy. (Unlike my Dad who knew! “This wine tastes sh#t.” I think it was his Italian DNA that gave him the clue. In the end, he didn’t even want it.) Peter also kept playing table tennis almost right up until the end. A computer on a desk in his room made the space feel familiar. Small things that brought familiarity and comfort. On that computer he could see videos and photos of the family. Patience. Patience. And More Patience. Barb talks honestly about what it takes to answer the same question as though it’s the first time, every, single, time. Easier said than done. But keeping things calm, she says, was everything. Music. Barb shares how profoundly enjoyable and soothing music was for Peter. So much so that she did a course in how to use it therapeutically, for Peter and for others in the care facility he was eventually placed in too. The Nature of Peter’s Care Over Time. Barb talks about how Peter’s care changed over those 11 years. From being at home full-time, to day care growing from one day a week to four, their daughter covering another day. Eventually Peter moved in to full-time residential care for his last 15 months with his final days, his palliative care at home where he passed away. That transition came after Barb had a serious accident and badly damaged her leg. She also opens up about the physical reality of caring for someone who has become incontinent and how that tipped the scales. It was too much to handle. Respite care, was a turning point - 2 weeks became 3. It gave her room to breathe and recover. It helped her to see clearly that Peter was being looked after beautifully and that what she was able to do given her injury, was not as complete for him. That perspective is something you can only appreciate when circumstances change and the care you’re used to doing at home is no longer possible to do. [Personally I have had quite a few people say to me that “I’d never put my partner in a home”. The stigma around that I find is still so very apparent, it’s hurtful. No one wants to wish or wants their loved one to be placed in a care home. To take them from a home they love being in, that you share together. That was one of the hardest days of my life, my Mum’s life, the day Dad went into full-time residential care. But after 3 stays in hospital for Mum, we couldn’t risk her health declining rapidly as well. It’s often the kindest thing to do. Doesn’t make it easy, but it’s kind. Dad was looked after so very, very well, just like Peter was]. Self-Care Is Essential Barb talks openly about how she came to understand that taking care of herself was essential too. How self-care for her was one day a fortnight. A non-negotiable massage. Planning Ahead — While You Still Can One of the most valuable parts of our conversation is when Barb talks about the importance of getting ‘your ducks in a row’ early. The legals like enduring power of attorney and medical wishes. Honest conversations about end-of-life preferences while the person you love can still be part of them. In Australia, dementia patients are not eligible for voluntary assisted dying, so these decisions need to made before dementia progresses too far. Barb also shares how she contacted the palliative care team well in advance, in line with Peter’s wishes. How that preparation made his wishes a possibility. Those last five days were at home, surrounded by family. Three households moved in. Six adults, seven grandchildren. Food, music, singing and time with Peter. Together. So very precious. Thank you for sharing your story, Barb. And thank you for listening. If you’re a carer right now we want you to know that we see you. It’s so very hard. It’s lonely. It’s demanding. Much of what you do goes unnoticed, is under appreciated and under-valued. You give up so much. Our experiences though different, have similarities. We see you. We appreciate all that you do. The light in the dark does show up at times. Hold on to those precious moments. Got a dementia life story you’d like to share? I’d love to hear it. Email us at hello@midlifeunfiltered.com.au [hello@midlifeunfiltered.com.au] or send me a message. Sharing these personal stories matters. For dementia awareness. Those who live with it. And those who care for those who do. For all of us. Because in the not too distant future, perhaps even now, we will all know someone whose life has been touched by dementia. If you think there is someone in your life who would find this conversation helpful, please share it with them. Dementia awareness matters. Carer awareness matters. Thank you. See you next episode. Anita xx p.s. Barb vanishes in the end - the internets strikes again! This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit midlifeunfiltered.substack.com [https://midlifeunfiltered.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_1]

30. juni 202638 min

Your Curiosity Is Your Superpower in an Age of AI.

Kiki Hart (Louise Cooper) and I are bringing conversations that explore what it means to be human in a fast-evolving, fast-paced digital world. And how Kiki is here to help. Curiosity in the Age of AI In this episode, we explore one of the most important questions of our time: how do we stay genuinely curious and human, in a world increasingly shaped by AI? We talk about AI as a tool. Not a replacement for us. How we interact with it, the traps we can fall into, and the choices we make about how we use it. How this determines not only the quality of what we get back and the importance of what we bring to keep the balance - our midlife skills, wisdom, and humanity. What We Cover An AI Recap What do we actually mean by AI, and how might we use it day to day? We start with the basics, so everyone is up to speed. Input and Output The questions we ask shape the answers we get. We talk about why the quality of our prompt matters and why thinking before we type is more important than most of us realise. The Traps Lost in Conversation Anita shares her own experience using AI — and how easy it is to forget we’re speaking to a technology tool, not a person. The ease, the flow, the warmth, the apparent understanding. It’s designed to feel human. And that’s how blind trust can creep in. Bias: Building, Boosting and Bracing When we ask questions in a way that’s more likely to return answers we’re already seeking, we’re building our own bias in. Algorithms then boost and amplify those patterns and over time, they brace them, creating fiercely protected viewpoints that block new perspectives. We talk about how to counter this: crafting prompts that invite alternative views, ask for blind spots, and actively fact-check. The key is cognitively wrestling with what AI gives you, not merely receiving it. Cognitive Laziness and Critical Thinking Critical thinking is a skill. One that builds curiosity, keeps us sharp, and helps us stay discerning. It’s also a skill that can quietly erode when we outsource too much of our thinking to AI. For younger generations (digital and AI natives) this skill may not have been built much at all. But as Midlifers, we know the world before AI and heavy technology reliance. As Digital Migrants, this gifts us with perspectives and capabilities that genuinely matter. We look at what cognitive laziness is doing to our brain health and why this matters, drawing on fascinating research on London taxi and ambulance drivers. Curiosity and the Art of Not Being Fooled Being objective. Reasoned. Discerning. Self-regulated in how we engage with AI tools. There are two very different ways to use AI: * AI to enhance our thinking - where we do some thinking first, bring our own knowledge, map it out, and test ideas as we interact with AI * AI as a direct output machine — where we accept the answers, no questions asked. We talk about the research on what the second approach is doing to brain development in young people and changes in older people. It’s something we all need to be aware of. Intuition and Emotional Intelligence Will these deeply human capabilities rise in value as AI takes on more of the cognitive load? Will having AI do some of the thinking free up space for intuition and emotional intelligence to flourish? Are you using your intuition when you use AI? The Social Cost If we stop practicing curiosity in the offline world, with each other, what does that look like over time? We talk about the role of human connection on longevity, and what’s at stake if we let connection in our communities slip away. Privacy and De-Identifying Prompts This matters a lot, especially in professional settings. Avoid using real names or “I” in our prompts. AI remembers your interactions and tailors its responses accordingly. Keep things hypothetical. Protect what’s personal and commercial in confidence. Where To From Here You’re not too old. You’re not too far behind. It is absolutely not too late. Explore AI with curiosity. Grab the prompts from Kiki Hart’s “Are We Outsourcing Curiosity?” article here [https://kikihartwhatnow.substack.com/p/are-we-outsourcing-curiosity] to give yourself a head start. They are bullet points in the post. As Midlifers, we bring something genuinely valuable to this conversation: life skills, knowledge, wisdom, and the discernment that comes from living through change. We also have a real opportunity — and perhaps an obligation — to help bridge the critical thinking gaps that younger generations are navigating. That lived experience is a superpower. Together, with curiosity, we can keep bringing the human to an AI world. AND If you enjoyed this episode and think this conversation would be interesting or helpful for someone in your life, please share it on. We’re all about awareness here. Got any comments or questions? We’d love to see them? Post them below. Coming Up In our next chat (in about six weeks), Kiki, Louise and I will be talking about Truth and Authenticity in an AI World. We’d love for you to join us. We’ll go live, then post the recording with show notes shortly after. See you then! If you’re not a subscriber, maybe become one so you find out when we go live and when the recording and show notes are ready. Thanks! Anita xx Resources Are We Outsourcing Curiosity [https://kikihartwhatnow.substack.com/p/are-we-outsourcing-curiosity] - Kiki Hart As AI gets smarter, are we getting dumber? [https://pursuit.unimelb.edu.au/articles/as-ai-gets-smarter,-are-we-getting-dumber] - University of Melbourne Navigation-related structural change in the hippocampi of taxi drivers [https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/10716738/] - PubMed Your Brain on ChatGPT: Accumulation of Cognitive Debt when Using an AI Assistant for Essay Writing Task [https://www.media.mit.edu/publications/your-brain-on-chatgpt/] - MIT Media Lab AI Platforms to Explore * ChatGPT [https://chatgpt.com] — Day-to-day tasks and conversation * Gemini [https://gemini.google.com] — Google’s AI – also good for everyday use drawing on Google’s ecosystem of familiar products * Claude [https://claude.ai] — Especially good for writing and factual summarising * Meta AI [https://www.meta.ai] — Good for generating images and social media style queries * Perplexity [https://www.perplexity.ai] — Great for research; shows its sources clearly so you can cross-check Tip: Each AI has a different “personality” and is optimised for different jobs. Try a few and see which one feels right for you. Our Human experience in this live video: We are human after all and life happens. In this chat Louise ‘disappears’ as her phone decided it was too hot a conversation and needed a minute to cool off. She also mentioned the hypothalamus and meant to say hippocampus. Meet Kiki Hart Kiki is a digital persona created by Louise Cooper — born from the digital world, but sharing Louise’s perspective. Around 40 years of age, she’s your guide to navigating technology without losing yourself. She observes and informs, so you can decide what to do with it. Exploring how culture, technology and modern life are reshaping identity, attention and relevance. Follow Kiki Hart on Substack [https://substack.com/@kikihart] Thank you to everyone who tuned into my live video! Join me for my next live video in the app. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit midlifeunfiltered.substack.com [https://midlifeunfiltered.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_1]

24. juni 202647 min

Leaking, Prolapse, Painful Sex. Let's Talk About Your Pelvic Floor with Pelvic Physiotherapist, Michelle Murphy.

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