The 3 Ways Leaders Respond to Conflict

The 3 Ways Leaders Respond to Conflict

Most leaders who freeze in conflict aren’t indifferent — they care deeply. That care is exactly what traps them. They’re waiting for a solution where nobody gets hurt, no relationship gets strained, and nobody walks away disappointed. That solution almost never exists. And the longer a leader waits for it, the more their care quietly converts into passivity — and if left long enough, into apathy.   In this episode of Lead With More, Tom DeBell breaks down the three responses every leader has available when facing conflict or a difficult situation: Activity, Passivity, and Apathy. You’ll learn why caring leaders freeze, what the drift from passivity to apathy actually looks like from the inside, and what it takes to move forward when no perfect option exists.   Tom closes with two diagnostic questions every leader needs to sit with: What are the things you say you care about — and what are the things you actually show you care about through your behavior? Where those two lists don’t match, your leadership is drifting.   If there’s a situation you’ve been sitting on, this episode will name it — and show you how to move.   Subscribe to Lead With More on YouTube, Spotify, and Apple Podcasts.  Timestamps: 00:00 Why Caring Leaders Stay Stuck in Conflict 00:47 How Leaders Lose Influence Without Knowing It 02:11 The 3 Ways Leaders Respond to Difficult Situations 03:28 1: Activity - The Leaders Best Response 04:05 2: The Trap of Getting Stuck in Passivity 04:47 3: When Passive Leadership Drifts Into Apathy 05:33 Why Leaders Freeze: The Search for a Perfect Solution 06:30 The Real Cost of Waiting Too Long to Lead 07:37 How to Move Forward When There's No Easy Answer 08:05 The Difference Between Compassion and Avoidance 09:07 Two Questions That Reveal How You Really Lead 10:21 The Mark of a Character-Driven Leader ⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻ Tom DeBell, the founder and president of Modern Leadership Solutions, is a Certified Maxwell Coach/Speaker/Trainer, a Full Focus Certified Pro, and a Certified Facilitator in the Six Types of Working Genius. https://www.modernleadershipsolutions.com [https://www.modernleadershipsolutions.com] ⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻MUSIC & MEDIA⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻ With permission from: Music by HitsLab (https://www.youtube.com/@hitslabmusic [https://www.youtube.com/@hitslabmusic]) from Pixabay (https://pixabay.com/ [https://pixabay.com/])

Rest Isn't Recovery: For Great Leaders, It's Preparation

Most leaders only rest when they're forced to — and that reactive pattern is quietly eroding their decision quality, their presence, and their leadership effectiveness. In this episode of Lead With More, Tom DeBell introduces a reframe that changes everything: resting from work is recovery, but working from rest is preparation. Drawing on what elite athletes have always known about peak performance, Tom breaks down three practical levels of intentional rest that every leader can build into their rhythm: * Daily rest — workday boundaries that protect your energy and presence * Weekly sabbath — one full day off as a strategic leadership discipline * Seasonal rest — extended time away that clears the fog no short break can touch Tom also addresses why leaders must model healthy rest themselves before they can build it into their team's culture — because personal leadership always precedes team leadership. If you're ready to stop collapsing into rest and start leading from a full place, this episode is your starting point. Timestamps: 00:00 Why Most Leaders Are Resting Wrong 00:54 Working From Rest vs. Resting From Work 01:57 What Elite Athletes Know About Rest That Leaders Don't 03:16 Way #1: Daily Boundaries That Protect Your Leadership Energy 05:04 Way #2: The Weekly Sabbath Every High-Performing Leader Needs 07:03 Way #3: Extended Rest That Clears The Leadership Fog 09:38 Why Leaders Must Model Rest Before They Can Teach It 10:40 3 Ways to Build a Rest Rhythm That Makes You a Better Leader ⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻ Tom DeBell, the founder and president of Modern Leadership Solutions, is a Certified Maxwell Coach/Speaker/Trainer, a Full Focus Certified Pro, and a Certified Facilitator in the Six Types of Working Genius. https://www.modernleadershipsolutions.com [https://www.modernleadershipsolutions.com] ⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻MUSIC & MEDIA⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻ With permission from: Music by HitsLab (https://www.youtube.com/@hitslabmusic [https://www.youtube.com/@hitslabmusic]) from Pixabay (https://pixabay.com/ [https://pixabay.com/])

How To Grow Managers Into High-Performing Leaders

What does it actually take to grow a manager into a leader? In this episode of Lead With More, Tom DeBell sits down with bestselling author, award-winning coach, and business owner Dr. Andy Neillie for an honest, experience-driven conversation about the gap between managing tasks and truly leading people. Dr. Neillie shares his four leadership necessities — conviction, competence, character, and covenant — and explains why leadership development is a continuous journey, not a one-time certification. The conversation covers why hard conversations are the truest test of leadership character, how self-awareness is the foundation of every high-performing leader, and what Dr. Neillie calls the leader's hour: a daily habit the best leaders he's worked with consistently practice. Dr. Neillie also introduces his Manager's Ascent program and the leadership principles behind his book, The Golden Principles. Learn More About Dr. Andy Neillie and his company, The Neillie Leadership Group, here: https://neillieleadershipgroup.com/ [https://neillieleadershipgroup.com/] Timestamps: 00:00 How to Turn Mangers Into High-Performing Leaders 01:33 Why Bad Bosses Ignite a Leadership Calling 03:42 Managers vs. Leaders: What's the Real Difference? 04:37 The Four Leadership Necessities: Conviction, Competence, Character, and Covenant 09:39 Why Leadership Is A Journey, Not a Certification 09:59 The Hard Conversation That Taught Me Character 12:00 Why Social Media Is Redefining Influence the Wrong Way 13:16 The 5% of Decisions That Separate Real Leaders 15:41 How Strong Leaders Delegate What They Don't Know 16:53 The Golden Principles: Leadership Lessons From Rescue Dogs 20:06 The Redford Principle: Meet People Where They Are 22:22 Why Character Is Missing In Today's Leaders 25:04 How Great Leaders Keep Growing After Every Failure 28:09 Why Reading Isn't Enough: The Case for Leadership Coaching 29:15 Inside the Manager's Ascent Program 31:12 Real-World Experience vs. Certified on Paper 32:14 When Coaching Reveals Someone Isn't Ready to Lead 35:27 The Leader's Hour: How the Best Leaders Start Their Day ⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻ Tom DeBell, the founder and president of Modern Leadership Solutions, is a Certified Maxwell Coach/Speaker/Trainer, a Full Focus Certified Pro, and a Certified Facilitator in the Six Types of Working Genius. https://www.modernleadershipsolutions.com [https://www.modernleadershipsolutions.com] ⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻ Podcast guests managed through PodMatch. If you’re a podcast guest or host (or both!), I would encourage you to check it out: https://www.podmatch.com/member/tomdebell [https://www.podmatch.com/member/tomdebell] (affiliate link). #PodMatch ⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻MUSIC & MEDIA⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻ With permission from: Music by HitsLab (https://www.youtube.com/@hitslabmusic [https://www.youtube.com/@hitslabmusic]) from Pixabay (https://pixabay.com/ [https://pixabay.com/])

You Can't Lead What You Can't See

What does it really mean to lead with perspective? In this episode of Lead With More, Tom DeBell sits down with leadership consultant and former CPA firm CEO Dennis Sherrin to unpack one of the most overlooked — and most critical — skills in leadership: the ability to shift perspectives. Using a photography-based framework, Tom and Dennis explore three practical concepts every leader needs to develop: * Lens-switching — moving between big-picture thinking and ground-level detail * Filters — changing how you process and communicate information depending on your audience and context * Camera-switching — stepping completely outside your own vantage point to see what others see Together, Tom and Dennis share real-world stories from careers in engineering, accounting, and executive leadership — including what it cost them when they couldn't shift perspectives, and what changed when they finally did. Whether you lead a small team or a large organization, this episode will challenge you to examine the lens you're leading through — and give you practical tools to expand it. Timestamps: 00:00 Why Perspective Is the Most Overlooked Leadership Skill 01:31 Guest Host Introduction: Leadership Lessons From 40 Years In Business 06:02 How Leaders Build Team Buy-In Through Shared Perspective 07:43 Lens-Switching: How Leaders Shift Between Big Picture and Ground Level 14:51 Leadership Filters: Changing How You Process Information as a Leader 19:44 The Leadership Filter: Redefining Success Through Your Team, Not Yourself 23:35 Vulnerable Leadership: Why CEO's Need to Take the Filter Off 30:45 Direct Communication: When Strong Leaders Remove the Filter Entirely 33:27 Camera-Switching: See Your Leadership From a Completely Different Angle 41:33 How to Practice Perspective-Shifting and Grow From Leadership Failure 44:31 Character-Driven Leadership: Why Knowing Your Audience Changes Everything 47:35 Closing Thoughts: Leading With More by Seeing More ⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻ Tom DeBell, the founder and president of Modern Leadership Solutions, is a Certified Maxwell Coach/Speaker/Trainer, a Full Focus Certified Pro, and a Certified Facilitator in the Six Types of Working Genius. https://www.modernleadershipsolutions.com [https://www.modernleadershipsolutions.com] ⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻MUSIC & MEDIA⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻ With permission from: Music by HitsLab (https://www.youtube.com/@hitslabmusic [https://www.youtube.com/@hitslabmusic]) from Pixabay (https://pixabay.com/ [https://pixabay.com/])

The Hardest Person I've Ever Had To Lead

After 20+ episodes, I almost stopped. Not because something went wrong — but because leading yourself with no external accountability, no visible results, and an easier path available is genuinely hard. And nobody talks about that honestly enough. In this milestone 25th episode, I'm sharing what I've actually learned about leadership through this process — starting with the lesson that hit closest to home: self-leadership is the foundation of everything else. And it's the hardest thing I've ever had to build. In this episode: ✅ Why self-leadership breaks down the moment external accountability disappears ✅ The honest story of almost quitting after more than 20 episodes — and what pulled me through ✅ What practice, discomfort, and recording yourself actually do for your growth as a leader ✅ Why authenticity is a character commitment, not a content strategy ✅ What 25 episodes of podcasting taught me about growth, perspective, and showing up If you have something you've been putting off — a project, a habit, a platform — this episode is for you. 🎙️ Lead With More is a podcast for leaders who want to grow with clarity, character, and purpose. Timestamps: 00:00 Why Self-Leadership Is the Hardest Leadership Challenge 00:54 Lead With More - Character-Driven Leadership For Today's Leaders  01:23 How to Lead Yourself When No One Is Holding You Accountable 02:49 What Almost Quitting Taught Me About Leadership And Personal Growth 04:19 Why Growth Requires Discomfort - and the Leadership Reps Nobody Sees 05:58 Authentic Leadership - How to Stay True to Yourself Under Pressure 07:16 How Podcasting Builds Leadership Skills and Grows Your Network 08:32 How to Start Before You're Ready - Leadership Lessons for New and Emerging Leaders 09:47 Lead With More - Keep Growing With Clarity, Character, and Purpose ⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻ Tom DeBell, the founder and president of Modern Leadership Solutions, is a Certified Maxwell Coach/Speaker/Trainer, a Full Focus Certified Pro, and a Certified Facilitator in the Six Types of Working Genius. https://www.modernleadershipsolutions.com [https://www.modernleadershipsolutions.com] ⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻MUSIC & MEDIA⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻⎻ With permission from: Music by HitsLab (https://www.youtube.com/@hitslabmusic [https://www.youtube.com/@hitslabmusic]) from Pixabay (https://pixabay.com/ [https://pixabay.com/])