New Kinship

#83 - “Being Gay Is Like...” The Metaphors We Use for Homosexuality

1 h 25 min · 17. juni 2026
episode #83 - “Being Gay Is Like...” The Metaphors We Use for Homosexuality cover

Description

How do the comparisons we use for queer sexuality shape the way we think, believe, and respond to one another? TJ and podcast manager Elena explore—with new and previous guests—some metaphors Christians use to understand “being gay.” We talked strengths and limitations of each metaphor and how it can impact the lives of LGBTQ+ people. Take a listen, and then join the conversation on Substack! Note: This episode uses the term “Side B” as shorthand quite a bit. If you’re new to the conversation, you might find it helpful to check out Communion & Shalom episode #3, where we talk through the four “sides”: ⁠#3 - A-B-Y-X | 4 Sides on SSA/Gay Sexuality⁠ [https://newkinship.substack.com/p/3-a-b-y-x-4-sides-on-ssagay-sexuality-69e] — ★ Timestamps (00:00) #83 - “Being Gay Is Like...” The Metaphors We Use for Homosexuality (00:38) Our metaphors shape our thinking (07:53) “Being gay is like a disease” (22:42) “Being gay is a curse...or worse...” (33:40) “Being gay is like being an alcoholic” (43:44) “Being gay is... an abomination...” (56:21) “Being gay is like...an appetite [for food]” (01:12:14) “Being gay is like being heterosexual” — ★ Links and References Other episodes we referred to in this podcast: #21 - Tate’s Story: Growing Up Gay in Texas [https://newkinship.substack.com/p/21-tates-story-growing-up-gay-in-8fd] #24 - African Voices: Mwendia Shares on Same-Sex Attraction in Kenya [https://newkinship.substack.com/p/24-african-voices-mwendia-shares-b72] #52 - Affectionate towards Christ: A Journey of Faith with Pastor Shalom [https://newkinship.substack.com/p/affectionate-towards-christ-a-journey] #54 - Side B & Side X in Dialogue: With Jason Thompson from Portland Fellowship [https://newkinship.substack.com/p/54-side-b-and-side-x-in-dialogue] #34 - Interview with a Longstanding Side B Ally, Misty Irons [https://newkinship.substack.com/p/34-interview-with-a-longstanding-e7b] Quoted: Catholic Answers Tract on “Homosexuality”: www.catholic.com/tract/homosexuality [https://www.catholic.com/tract/homosexuality] — ★ Send us feedback, questions, comments, or support: Email: communionandshalom@gmail.com [communionandshalom@gmail.com] | Instagram: @newkinship [https://www.instagram.com/newkinship] | Substack: @newkinship [https://newkinship.substack.com/] | Patreon: @newkinship [https://www.patreon.com/newkinship] — ★ Credits Creators and Hosts: David Frank, TJ Espinoza, Tyler Parker | Audio Engineer: Carl Swenson, carlswensonmusic.com [http://carlswensonmusic.com] | Podcast Manager: Elena F. ★ Get full access to New Kinship at newkinship.substack.com/subscribe [https://newkinship.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_4]

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102 episodes

episode #83 - “Being Gay Is Like...” The Metaphors We Use for Homosexuality artwork

#83 - “Being Gay Is Like...” The Metaphors We Use for Homosexuality

How do the comparisons we use for queer sexuality shape the way we think, believe, and respond to one another? TJ and podcast manager Elena explore—with new and previous guests—some metaphors Christians use to understand “being gay.” We talked strengths and limitations of each metaphor and how it can impact the lives of LGBTQ+ people. Take a listen, and then join the conversation on Substack! Note: This episode uses the term “Side B” as shorthand quite a bit. If you’re new to the conversation, you might find it helpful to check out Communion & Shalom episode #3, where we talk through the four “sides”: ⁠#3 - A-B-Y-X | 4 Sides on SSA/Gay Sexuality⁠ [https://newkinship.substack.com/p/3-a-b-y-x-4-sides-on-ssagay-sexuality-69e] — ★ Timestamps (00:00) #83 - “Being Gay Is Like...” The Metaphors We Use for Homosexuality (00:38) Our metaphors shape our thinking (07:53) “Being gay is like a disease” (22:42) “Being gay is a curse...or worse...” (33:40) “Being gay is like being an alcoholic” (43:44) “Being gay is... an abomination...” (56:21) “Being gay is like...an appetite [for food]” (01:12:14) “Being gay is like being heterosexual” — ★ Links and References Other episodes we referred to in this podcast: #21 - Tate’s Story: Growing Up Gay in Texas [https://newkinship.substack.com/p/21-tates-story-growing-up-gay-in-8fd] #24 - African Voices: Mwendia Shares on Same-Sex Attraction in Kenya [https://newkinship.substack.com/p/24-african-voices-mwendia-shares-b72] #52 - Affectionate towards Christ: A Journey of Faith with Pastor Shalom [https://newkinship.substack.com/p/affectionate-towards-christ-a-journey] #54 - Side B & Side X in Dialogue: With Jason Thompson from Portland Fellowship [https://newkinship.substack.com/p/54-side-b-and-side-x-in-dialogue] #34 - Interview with a Longstanding Side B Ally, Misty Irons [https://newkinship.substack.com/p/34-interview-with-a-longstanding-e7b] Quoted: Catholic Answers Tract on “Homosexuality”: www.catholic.com/tract/homosexuality [https://www.catholic.com/tract/homosexuality] — ★ Send us feedback, questions, comments, or support: Email: communionandshalom@gmail.com [communionandshalom@gmail.com] | Instagram: @newkinship [https://www.instagram.com/newkinship] | Substack: @newkinship [https://newkinship.substack.com/] | Patreon: @newkinship [https://www.patreon.com/newkinship] — ★ Credits Creators and Hosts: David Frank, TJ Espinoza, Tyler Parker | Audio Engineer: Carl Swenson, carlswensonmusic.com [http://carlswensonmusic.com] | Podcast Manager: Elena F. ★ Get full access to New Kinship at newkinship.substack.com/subscribe [https://newkinship.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_4]

17. juni 20261 h 25 min
episode #82 - African Voices: Akwasi on Same-Sex Attraction in Ghana artwork

#82 - African Voices: Akwasi on Same-Sex Attraction in Ghana

David and TJ talked with Akwasi in Ghana about growing up Pentecostal while wrestling with same-sex attraction (SSA). Akwasi shares candidly about the cultural and church pressures surrounding sexuality and marriage in Ghana, and his commitment to pursuing holiness and discipleship even as his attractions remain. He also reflects on the challenges SSA Christians face in his context and his hope to support others through discipleship and community. Note: This episode includes some comments suitable for adult audiences; listener discretion is advised. About Our Guest: Akwasi is a Ghanaian Christian leader, creative strategist, and youth mentor passionate about discipling the next generation through faith and leadership. He is involved in building impactful initiatives that blend spiritual formation, mentorship, creativity, and community transformation, with a strong focus on young people in Ghana. He is committed to raising holistic believers and leaders who live boldly, think deeply, and influence society with conviction and excellence. One of those initiatives is FOUND: Foundafric.org [http://foundafric.org/] — This episode uses the terms “Side A” and “Side B” (and X, Y) as shorthand quite a bit. If you’re new to the conversation, you might find it helpful to check out episode #3, where we talk through the four “sides”: ⁠#3 - A-B-Y-X | 4 Sides on SSA/Gay Sexuality⁠ [https://newkinship.substack.com/p/3-a-b-y-x-4-sides-on-ssagay-sexuality-69e] — ★ Timestamps (00:00) #82 - African Voices: Akwasi on Same-Sex Attraction in Ghana (04:10) About Akwasi: Growing up in Pentecostal Africa (06:39) Role playing mothers and fathers, other early history (16:21) How does the church (and wider culture) in Ghana handle men “being gay” or being effeminate? (35:27) SSA in Ghana: “Not many people name it” (42:37) Friendships between men in U.S. compared to Ghana (49:24) Do you pray for God to take away SSA (as a pentecostal)? (51:38) What options does a SSA man in Ghana have? Celibacy, priest, only marriage? (55:44) How do you think about dating (in some African culture)? (01:03:03) Is having a best friend outside your marriage “emotional cheating”? (01:15:59) Does Ghana have Side A? Why aren’t you Side A? (01:22:51) Final Thoughts: Prayers for SSA men in the African Church — ★ Send us feedback, questions, comments, and support || Email: communionandshalom@gmail.com [communionandshalom@gmail.com] | Instagram: @newkinship [https://www.instagram.com/newkinship] | Substack: @newkinship [https://newkinship.substack.com/] — ★ Credits || Creators and Hosts: David Frank, TJ Espinoza, Tyler Parker | Audio Engineer: Carl Swenson, carlswensonmusic.com [http://www.carlswensonmusic.com/] | Podcast Manager: Elena F. ★ Get full access to New Kinship at newkinship.substack.com/subscribe [https://newkinship.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_4]

27. maj 20261 h 27 min
episode Kinship Lab #03 - Facets and Goals of the Side B Project artwork

Kinship Lab #03 - Facets and Goals of the Side B Project

Following up on our earlier conversations, we engage the Side B project. Yes, project. Side B is often thought of as a community of queer/SSA Christians committed to the traditional, Christian sexual ethic. But the Side B project is much bigger than just being honest about not being straight and being steadfast in our theological ethics. We review and riff of Grant Hartley’s article [https://thegranthartley.substack.com/p/what-exactly-is-the-side-b-project] on this very topic. Questions for those who listen (and actually listen, because Side B has enough online trolls who don’t engage in real dialogue and just think we’re some new edge of whatever the gay agenda is): Are there any other aspects of the Side B project that you think we forgot mention? Which aspect of the the Side B project most resonates with your own passions? References: A well-written article by our friend Grant Hartley: Grant's Substack [https://thegranthartley.substack.com/p/what-exactly-is-the-side-b-project?utm_source=substack&utm_campaign=post_embed&utm_medium=web] What Exactly Is the Side B Project? [https://thegranthartley.substack.com/p/what-exactly-is-the-side-b-project?utm_source=substack&utm_campaign=post_embed&utm_medium=web] Okay, what follows is a fairly niche reflection on the nature of the so-called Side B community (sexual and gender minorities who submit to what is often called a “traditional sexual ethic”), but before some of my readers who are not Side B (particularly my Side A friends) check out, let me say: I do honestly believe th… [https://thegranthartley.substack.com/p/what-exactly-is-the-side-b-project?utm_source=substack&utm_campaign=post_embed&utm_medium=web] Read more [https://thegranthartley.substack.com/p/what-exactly-is-the-side-b-project?utm_source=substack&utm_campaign=post_embed&utm_medium=web] 10 months ago · 32 likes · 4 comments · Grant Hartley [https://thegranthartley.substack.com/p/what-exactly-is-the-side-b-project?utm_source=substack&utm_campaign=post_embed&utm_medium=web] Time Stamps: 00:00 Good morning!01:10 Why Discuss Side B03:13 Hartley’s Essay Summary06:27 Tyler Reacts: Missing "Desire"16:51 David Frank’s Goal: Prophetic Witness23:07 Boundaries, Labels, Therapy25:49 Trans/Gender Minority Questions37:23 Worth Discussing, eh?39:47 Side B Diversity44:16 Unity Beyond Movements49:11 Prophetic Schools and Boundaries54:24 Love over Ideology, Goods before Critiques01:03:27 We can have unity on paths of celibacy, right?01:08:49 Wrap Up and Community Plug01:13:10 After-show thoughts on new Google Icons Get full access to New Kinship at newkinship.substack.com/subscribe [https://newkinship.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_4]

25. maj 20261 h 14 min
episode BONUS - Found in Christ, Flourish in Community | Mwendia's Side B Ministry in Africa artwork

BONUS - Found in Christ, Flourish in Community | Mwendia's Side B Ministry in Africa

We are glad to have Mwendia Steve Kiengu back on the podcast to hear about his ministry in Kenya and across Africa. Found is a ministry to build a Christ-centered community walking alongside believers experiencing same-sex orientation and gender dysphoria, guiding them toward truth, love, and belonging. This is the only Side B ministry in the entire continent of Africa (Side B integrates experiences of same-sex attraction within a historic biblical sexual ethic), with an estimated 7-25 million Christians on the continent experiencing same-sex attraction. It’s a vital ministry for the African church. __________ Links and social media platforms: Found Ministry: https://foundafric.org/ [https://foundafric.org/] Facebook: FoundAfrica [https://www.facebook.com/share/1VrDj1LD4D/] Instagram: @foundafrika [https://www.instagram.com/foundafrika] TikTok: @foundafrika1 [https://www.tiktok.com/@foundafrika1] Giving Link: https://secure.qgiv.com/for/supportfound [https://secure.qgiv.com/for/supportfound] Steve’s Story Episode on New Kinship: #24 Get full access to New Kinship at newkinship.substack.com/subscribe [https://newkinship.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_4]

18. maj 202625 min